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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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A number of OT'ers seem a bit run-down and low at the moment.
How do you like to try and cheer people up?

Alt: Natter.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:24, 135 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I either take my clothes off or make a cup of tea.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:24, Reply)
a brew ha-ha!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:35, Reply)
Well I know which one you'd prefer.
*puts the kettle on*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:36, Reply)
Steamy windows!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:37, Reply)
cake rape!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:25, Reply)
is that in your dating profile?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:29, Reply)
I think I might have to add it

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:52, Reply)
it's attention grabbing.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:52, Reply)
If you have unprotected cake-rape
Will you end up with a bun in the oven?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:57, Reply)
That's just wrong Crunchy.
Cake-Rape should be illegal.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:32, Reply)
Not I'd you shout surprise first

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:40, Reply)
You been on the crosote again Zulu?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:48, Reply)
The windhoek

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:49, Reply)
By feeding them salt beef sandwiches.
Or baking them cakes. Basically, I'm a feeder.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:25, Reply)
I've now got the Brit Pop hit 'Buck Rogers' in my head.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:33, Reply)
It's got a CD PLAYA PLAYA PLAYA PLAYA PLAYA PLAYA PLAYA PLAYA PLA YA

(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:41, Reply)
Loving the new name.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:45, Reply)
I'm thinking of making it my new theme for a while
I'm running out of films I like.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:47, Reply)
Your username confused me for a second.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:48, Reply)
You got all hot and wet
and then you thought, hang on, what if it is actually Monty? And felt a bit guilty, then you realised it was actually me and you carried on wanking.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:50, Reply)
You know me so well.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:51, Reply)
feeding them spliffs
and by being (I hope) good and amiable company
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:33, Reply)
And by having a haircut they can laugh at.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:40, Reply)
you are not in a position to judge my friend

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:41, Reply)
I have a fine short back and sides
and a beard of sensible length.


I'm in the perfect position to judge. Doggy Style, with your fiancee.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:42, Reply)
my beard is a sensible length
that length is "twice as long as most blokes hair"

my hair is like it is because I look awful with very short hair and can't be arsed with having to put stuff in it to try and make it look good with fairly short hair
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:46, Reply)
Monty, meet Monty.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:50, Reply)
I like your new name.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:24, Reply)
by giving good advice
like "lets do a shot"
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:35, Reply)
What is your shot of choice?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:35, Reply)
hmmmmm.........
blueberry vodka for a shot
if it's a shooter then kamikaze
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:40, Reply)
How do you feel about Sambuca?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:40, Reply)
You could just eat some Black Jacks and not be drunk,

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:42, Reply)
But where is the fun in that Roota, where is the fun in that.
Did your man give you a nice surprise at the weekend then?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:42, Reply)
He gave me several, Albert
Did you give your wife fine ting?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:43, Reply)
Yes
I bought her some pink fizzy wine, cooked her wonderful steak and then we fell asleep in front of "Up".
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:46, Reply)
it was only this post that made me realise that you weren't Monty
I'm fairly stupid
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:47, Reply)
We forgot to drink our pink fizzy
but he did endure/treat me to two days in my favourite seaside town and buy me some fancy grunderwear.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:50, Reply)
oh god I totally cried within the first ten fucking minutes of that damned movie

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:50, Reply)
The hand on shoulder bit in the doctors surgery
Gulp
(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:53, Reply)
fucking disney
*sobs*

I even cried at the end of The Princess and the Frog
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:57, Reply)
I need to watch it again.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:53, Reply)
I've never seen it.
What's it all about?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:54, Reply)
Google it.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Fuck it.
I will.

*Sulks that you can't be arsed to tell me what YOU think about it*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:58, Reply)
I love it.
Happy?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:02, Reply)
If you're happy, I'm happy.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:03, Reply)
Aw who didn't?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:56, Reply)
It was a very sad way to start what was a funny film
though I've only seen up to the bit when they are escaping from the explorer.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:58, Reply)
I like the the speaking dog part.
It's just what you'd expect a dog to say.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:02, Reply)
YES

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:03, Reply)
Very cleverly done.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:07, Reply)
omg Kevin
the bird with her crazy tongue
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:07, Reply)
Tis a good film.
That lying DiT said he was sending me How to Train Your Dragon.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:03, Reply)
I'm doing a copy for Swipe at the weekend
it's no bother to do you one too, if you'd like.
(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:09, Reply)
Why that would be very nice thank you!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:12, Reply)
No worries :)
I shall gaz you for your address when I've actually gotten round to sorting it out.
(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:15, Reply)
I prefer jagermeister

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:42, Reply)
I don't think we have it here.
YOOOOUUU!
You totally tricked me with your name.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:50, Reply)
I tell them tales or do voices.
If they're knobs like me they love it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:42, Reply)
What voices can you do?

(I helped save b3ta! zulu eh?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:50, Reply)
All my old teachers,
some colleagues, Patricia Farnham saying "tressle tables", Tony Hadley, the woman who tried to sell my grandad a Dolphin Shower in the 80s, and this tramp from round our way called David.
There's loads more.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:55, Reply)
hahahahahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:55, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:57, Reply)
I'm really fucking boss at them.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:59, Reply)
I don't doubt you for one minute.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:00, Reply)
"Just twenty poind deepawsit for a Dolphin shoyr!"
then my teenage uncle walked past her and farted.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:02, Reply)
Hahaha!
Every time my step-dad does a voice it sounds Indian.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:05, Reply)
was she from Norn Irn?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:06, Reply)
Well done

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:07, Reply)
Jimmy Tarbuck, Cilla Black, and the cast of Brookside.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:58, Reply)
I can do Cilla a bit
and Bobby Grant saying "Ar eh, Sheila, queen!"
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:00, Reply)
I had scouse for the first time just before Christmas
You weren't lying, 'twas nom.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:07, Reply)
My mate's mum makes scouse pasties
but I like dipping buttered bread in so that wouldn't work for me
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:10, Reply)
I'll bet it's like this in Roota-Towers
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBYlXfjKru4&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:02, Reply)
Pure

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:04, Reply)
If it makes you feel any better
JTDF-Towers is a lot like this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=thWU0gw3mpk
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:06, Reply)
Ow bist ee

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:08, Reply)
You'm alright me babber?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:09, Reply)
PROPERRRRR

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:11, Reply)
Yer, there was a gert makky crash up the Downs the other day.
The traffic was stacked right back behind the Centre.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:13, Reply)
Your shoes are gert makky

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:14, Reply)
No they ain't.
I'm only a size 9.

www.mintinit.com/speakbristolian.php#hotel
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:16, Reply)
That was how I was taught what gert makky meant.
By someone talking about big shoes.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:18, Reply)
Which would be a fine statement, if I was a clown.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:19, Reply)
Me too.
We could share our shoes.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:18, Reply)
Woo! Cross-dressing footware opportunities ahoy!
(You're an Adidas shell-toe kinda person anyway, aren't you?)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:20, Reply)
I am.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:23, Reply)
Get shopping!
trainerstation.com/

They've got a sale on.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:24, Reply)
Idgie!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:56, Reply)
Threadgood?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:59, Reply)
yeeeaaaah
that's how I see you now, all mystical and awesome
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:02, Reply)
I'm just a little tit really
but I can sometimes help people have a word with themselves because I tell them how much of a mong I've been and they think, "Ooh, noooooo".
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:06, Reply)
^this
You've an old head on young shoulders.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:06, Reply)
I've just got an old head
I think it's a Girl's World.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:10, Reply)
Why were they always blonde.
If memory serves me correct, you couldn't get a brunette one.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:12, Reply)
It was for longevity.
Apparently they did a small run of brunette ones, but they were returned to the shops as they went grey in no time at all.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:14, Reply)
Grrrrrr

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:15, Reply)
You are Tony Tiger
AICMFP


(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:18, Reply)
Do you remember Coco Pops monkey being called Toby for a while?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:19, Reply)
No. I thought he was called Coco
When did he have the name Toby?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:22, Reply)
Before all this Coco shit
I could swear on it...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:23, Reply)
I believe you.
You know your retro as well as anyone!

Any other bits of retro trivia you want to share?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:26, Reply)
Well I think it's a conspiracy because nowhere refers to it...
And yeah, do you know about Andrex and its name, and its name abroad?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:27, Reply)
No I don't.
Although I can tell you that the aftershave Denim was/is a premium brand in Greece and therefore cost a fortune over there. (I learnt that when I worked for the Unilever group).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:35, Reply)
See how it used too look?
www.historyworld.co.uk/advert.php?id=793&offset=0&sort=0&l1=Medicines+%26+Health&l2=Toilet+Rolls%2C+Tissues+etc and that's why it's called Scottex in Europe. They wouldn't get the 'Andr' bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:48, Reply)
Do you know how Spam got called Spam?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:51, Reply)
isn't it an acronym?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:53, Reply)
Apparently (and I'm sure there is probably an episode ot QI that'll say other wise)
It comes from SPiced hAM

Spiced Ham. SPAM!

(Also, I totally punned your Cake-Rape post earlier, where did you go?)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:55, Reply)
Like nylon
made by scientists in new york and london.
(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:56, Reply)
Sorry berk
www.thenakedscientists.com/forum/index.php?topic=5027.msg342894;boardseen
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:58, Reply)
pfft
if you're going to prove me wrong I'm going to go back to lurking!
(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:00, Reply)
COME BACK BERK!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:05, Reply)
a bath
I smell less like chlorine, now

good punning, there
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:57, Reply)
See you in the new thread.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:59, Reply)
Spiced 'am innit?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:53, Reply)
Cooooooooorect!
(In a Tony Tiger style!)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:55, Reply)
Not unless you painted it

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:14, Reply)
I am run down because between pregnant wife, 3 year old daughter and work
I've not managed more than 2 hours continuous sleep in over a month.

I'm still happy though.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:44, Reply)
Good for you.
I'd rather have the sleep.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 20:52, Reply)
This
sleep is probably even better than chocolate and sex.
(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:10, Reply)
Hell yeah!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:13, Reply)
fucking hell right it is
my friends all "I'll sleep when I'm dead" and I'm all "I'm gonna die if I don't get sleep"
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:14, Reply)
Very much so
sometimes there's amazing stuff worth staying up for but frankly if it's late, chances are I'd rather be in bed.
(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:18, Reply)
too fucking right
there's basically nothing that will keep me up late during the week, 4 out of 5 days I'm usually in bed by 10
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:27, Reply)
I make them cake
and encourage them to get pissed and tell me about their problems. I'm not very good at emotions but I do a good line in 'gosh, that's awful', sympathetic nodding and common sense advice.
(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:13, Reply)
Have you ever considered baking cakes you can sell?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:18, Reply)
I did a bake sale at work once for charity
I spent about £30 on ingredients and was in the kitchen for about 15 hours...but I made the better part of £150. That's how good my cakes are.
But it's a real faff making stuff to sell, the village where I live has a really nice patisserie and a farmers market, plus there's all health and safety and allergies and stuff that you probably have to comply with.
(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:23, Reply)
I know how good your cakes are!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:27, Reply)
Like you can remember! :P

(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:33, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:36, Reply)
Booze, unhealthy food, sweets, chocolate 'mummy cuddles' and films
Pick any of the above, they often work.

Unless their overweight, diabetic, film star mother has just drunk themselves to death...
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:28, Reply)
Mummy cuddles?
Do you wrap the distressed in bandages?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 21:37, Reply)
It's something one of my friends always calls it when I give them a hug
As for some reason, it reminds her of her Mum.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:08, Reply)
Is it your hairy bosoms pressing up against them
whilst apologetic tears fall from your eyes on to the top of their closely-clutched head?
(berk, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 22:10, Reply)

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