i would lovea bigger mouth, like angelina or anne hathaway or julia roberts
but i am stuck with my own dogs-bottom-look-alike.

i can get my fist in it though. it's my USP.

*cheers up a tiny bit*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:27, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have all my wisdom teeth and I can't get my fist in my mouth.
Which is just as well with my crap gagging reflex.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Did you not follow the Roota Routine for eliminating gagging?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Lose the gag reflex from attending bukkake parties?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Squeeze your thumb at the same time?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:43, Reply)

I got bored of nearly throwing up every time I cleaned my teeth.
I'll just keep on getting by. Guys aren't that fussy when they've got a gob round their willy.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:43, Reply)

But if they have a throat round it they're putty
Ew. Let's stop this conversation.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:51, Reply)

Nooo!
About another two minutes please, if that's OK with you ladies.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:53, Reply)

I have other mad sex skillz.
Like rarely saying no.
( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:55, Reply)

That is a definite aphrodisiac
*insert clip of Polly from Fawlty Towers singing 'I Cain't Say No'*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:55, Reply)

I had all my wisdom teeth removed when I was 16.
All 4 of them out at once (not that they'd come through, but the signs were they were growing in the wrong direction), so they hacked into my gums to yank 'em out.

I ended up with a couple of black eyes and I could taste blood for a couple of weeks.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

there, there.

( girlinthehole, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Fanks

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:52, Reply)

fangs, more like

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:55, Reply)

heh

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 16:04, Reply)

How massive is your mouth is you can get your fist in it?!
Either that or you have tiny hands

*scratches RSwipe off Handjob list*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

neither! you can see that my mouth and hands are well-proportioned on my profile or on fb, thank you v much.
i just saw on tv that only 1 in 1M people can do it, thought "ok i'll give it a go".

woohoo.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:36, Reply)

I just tried to do it
I assumed I'd be able to, but I can't. Now my mouth hurts and I feel a bit stupid, because I think my neighbours (and since I assume Darth is hiding in my front garden, him too) saw me.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:43, Reply)

Not funny
I was half expecting a text from Darth saying "Well, that didn't go well, did it?"
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:46, Reply)

I don't stalk you in daylight hours
You might see me. Try again around 6ish, would you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:47, Reply)

I'm at work then.
Sorry.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

I know
I'll still be able to see you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:51, Reply)

*scratches RSwipe off Handjob list*
Why - did her comment push you over the edge into Dangerwank mode?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:37, Reply)

*washes hands*
Sorry, what were you saying?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Cand dalk......handssshhh shhhhtuckkkk in moooowwwffff.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:50, Reply)

i love that all over the country there are poeple
at their desks trying to put their fists in their mouths

could be worse I suppose
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:52, Reply)

Sorry - were we supposed to be fisting our mouths?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I'm not
tried it before
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Hahaha

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Are you kidding?
A woman with small hands makes your nob look huge.

* awaits obvious paedo jibes *
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:46, Reply)

And if you're lucky they say something encouraging
about not being able to get their hand around it. Hopefully followed by "I'd better use my mouth then"

Sorry, I appear to have gone over to The Bad Place
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:48, Reply)

You can fit your fist in your mouth?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:35, Reply)

aye

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:36, Reply)

What, all of it?
*tries and fails*
(berk, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Bloody hell.
Edit - I was just asked what I was doing. Rather sheepishly told colleague I was failing to fit my fist in my mouth.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

hahahhaa
I can barely fit two fingers in my mouth
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Have you got meaty saveloy fingers?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:43, Reply)

like gigantic penises

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:44, Reply)

That should make self-abuse a rather surreal event

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:46, Reply)

*instates the Professor on Handjob list*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:46, Reply)

haha
i wish so much i could see pics of you all trying and failing.

the key is to shove one side in first, then the other.

it is NOT pretty and i would NOT do it in front of anyone i wanted to bone me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:43, Reply)

I'm subtly trying to do it at work

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I'm hoping you succeed and get your hand stuck.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Oh 'uck!
*dribbles*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

I don;t think it's something that can be achieved subtly, to be honest.

(berk, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:48, Reply)

The look from my boss on the next desk confirms this...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 Feb 2011, 15:49, Reply)

I just remembered
Although I can't fit my fist in my mouth, I can fit my whole self into a small gym locker.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 23 Feb 2011, 16:01, Reply)