I'm sitting here digesting my dinner as quickly as possible so I can go to the gym.

( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:27, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I'm trying not to go out for a massive breakfast I cannot afford
just to get out of my shitty flat. Also, I only remembered I'd put all my towels in the wash when I got out of the shower. 6'2" of Monty has just been dried with a flannel.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:30, Reply)

*imagines 6'2" of naked Monty*

( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:32, Reply)

*bokes, bokes hard*

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:33, Reply)

go for a walk
They're free!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)

it's raining.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

oh no will your hair go frizzy?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:46, Reply)

i'm going to the salon for a colour and blow-job tomorrow
it BETTER not be raining when i come out. that is all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)

It's OK, I've got Anti-frizz Condtioning Milk on it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)

*Sigh*
Anti-frizz Condtioning Milk spunk.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:59, Reply)

*sigh*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:04, Reply)

It's the best I could do, Monters.
I'm a bit hungover. This is not good.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:05, Reply)

it's the last 6 inches that's the most important bit
also you should have called me. i am a bit obessed with towels and bedding. at the last count i had 24 towels. just call me monica...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)

MONEYMAKING IDEA
Webcam that shit, there's lonely wankers out there who'd lap that up
*Montys afternoon showing starts in 25 minutes*
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:36, Reply)

you could join in too
having been the shocked but secretly impressed recipient of a rory-cock-gaz, i think some people would pay to see that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:37, Reply)

It's umm a bit cold at the moment, and be seems to have gone back to being a white-boi again
sadtimes
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)

so what you're saying is
you just googled "gigantic black cock" and then posted it to me on the pretence that it was what you were packing?

oh rory, how COULD you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)

I don't know what came over me, lying on the internet
So why are you wasting your time here on a Saturday?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

skiving working on my masters essay
so far today i've done beauty salon, gym, tesco, car valet. have a 3 hour break to work then it's back to the other beauty salon for eyebrows, manicure and hairdo, before off to covent garden for a birthday party. clearly i am now wasting the 3 hours working by pissing around on here talking about your enormous black schlong.

what's your excuse?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Work innit
Avoiding moving as well, can't be arsed, I seem to have accumulated lots of shit over the course of my life. Turns out that place I'm off to next week has a spa thing attached to it. Needless to say I won't be partaking as I'm so manly.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:52, Reply)

a spa?
you need a flatmate? i can cook and clean (or pay someone else to do it) and i have some seriously slutty friends who can drop by...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:54, Reply)

You'll be too busy hairdying your arsehole I would imagine.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:54, Reply)

now i'm imagining it too
thanks monts
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

STOP THIS BULLYING

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)

DON'T BE SUCH A DRIP.
(just use your 'old faithful' hairdryer, that should stop the dripping)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:00, Reply)

*FLOUNCE ALERT* I'm off

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)

to do some work

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)

work anus hairdrying
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:03, Reply)

do you know these girls?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:13, Reply)

they do it at my gym too.
It's fucking horrendous.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Stop this sickness

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:02, Reply)

by replacing the innards with a luger and watching them shoot themselves up the arse!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:04, Reply)

how much hair do these guys have up there?
i mean, i've been out with guys with horribly hairy holes, but this is ridiculous.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:06, Reply)

They've probably got anal regions like an African savanna, Swipey.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:07, Reply)

You should've been like that chap
on the Freak Like Me show, who dried himself after every shower using a hairdryer
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

omg that's horrible
imagine drying - well, somewhere really intimate - with a HAIRDRYER!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)

There was a chap at the gym the other day hairdrying his arsehole

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)

I believe I've documented this event on these very pages

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)

WHAT?????
link me up real nice?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Search functions fucked :(
I couldn't help but observe out of the corner of my eye some guy bent over with a hairdryer up his arse for a good 10 minutes in the changing rooms. I felt a bit ill, but watched with sickened fascination. So yeah, I hope birds don't get up to that sort of thing.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Yeah, mirrors really can be offputting, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:59, Reply)

....and his name was Rory Lyon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:53, Reply)

how... i mean, HOW
do you bend over and push it between your thighs, or turn round and... i mean, HOW?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Why are you asking me when the chap who did it is right here?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)

The last thing this place needs right now is another meme involving arseholes

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:00, Reply)

I disagree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)

He'd have to admit to having a hairdryer first.
I bet he has a GHD one but tells people he just puts on [some band the likes of _you_* probably haven't heard off, but was produced by the lead singer of some obscure band that had 3 good hits] at full volume like the old HMV adverts.

* Or anyone else.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

insightful comment is insightful
i love it when you do this. do me one day?? (but be gentle, it'll be my first time)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:46, Reply)

I wish I did have one.
My hair is dripping all over the show.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I am puzzled
given the length of your hair as to why you don't use a hairdryer. Mine takes hours to dry naturally
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)

It broke. About three years ago.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:51, Reply)

pro tip
blot it with a towel, don't rub it.

obviously it doesn't work if both your towels (you are a man, i am guessing you only have two, one large and one small and both slightly threadbare and you have no idea where you got them from, they have just always been there) are sopping, however.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Two large, two small, John Lewis
Good old mother.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I've just hung the towel wash out.
Yeah, rock 'n' roll lifestyle or what?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)

*devil horns*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I was totally smoking a fag when I did it.
Well, not when, after. Don't want to get the lovely fresh towels all minging of tab smoke.

I have also done the dishes.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:13, Reply)

blot it with a towel, don't rub it.

obviously it doesn't work if both your towels (you are a man, i am guessing you only have two, one large and one small and both slightly threadbare and you have no idea where you got them from, they have just always been there) are sopping, however.

The 80s are over, Simon Cowl won, girl power happened, Kurk Cabain shot himself in the head and Ryan Adam topped the charts for 16 weeks with a song that has brackets in the title.... get over it and get a hair cut, hippy.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:58, Reply)

This is perhaps your best post ever.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:02, Reply)

+1 (80) +BCs, Switzerland is a tax haven, Raping and Pillaging is looked down upon by modern society, meed comes in a can, steal has replaced copper and bronze, and people look at your religion in the same way as the Greeks and the Romans; that it's not a religion anymore, but myths.... the viking lost, get over it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Just ruin my day, whydoncha?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Semi NSFW.
www.liquidvinylclothing.com/M1R2-1026.html
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:40, Reply)

*cries with laughter*
in the name of God, Gonz...WHY?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Mine's a Tabasco sauce branded beach towel
that I bought ten years ago in Tampa.

Your stereotypical bigotry has been successfully lambasted yet again. I hope you feel ashamed.
( Kroney, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:10, Reply)

the worst is when you tie it up wet then hours later you let it down and it's still wet and cold.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Homo

( Kroney, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Jeez! you can get a hairdryer nowadays for a tenner that would do.

( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I haven't got a tenner.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:43, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)