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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've worked 200 hours this month. This is utterly depressing
Tell me how you bastards are enjoying yuor first of TWO days off. Bastards, all of you *sulks*

Alternatively just post some links of stuff and talk about crap
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 9:11, 245 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I am in Lancaster for my friend's 30th.
We're heading to the pub for midday. I have a feeling this is going to get quite messy.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 9:27, Reply)
haha more than likely!
I'll be at work still by the time you're wasted
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 9:33, Reply)
I'll be thinking about you the whole time.

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 9:35, Reply)
well that's ok then
I may have to resort to doing some work soon
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Lame.
I should go too really. Love you sexy face!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 9:48, Reply)
I've got a cold
so I'm being kept indoors today. I'm going to sort out the cupboard under the stairs, finish cataloguing my CDs and fix the last two knobs to our new wardrobe
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)
so... dull things?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:06, Reply)
After that I'm going to be doing your mum with my black 15" rubber cock

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)
S'OK TGB, I don't have two days off.
I usually only have Mondays off, but I ain't had that in two weeks.

I just fucking woke up and my head is fucking pounding, and I found a phone that is not mine in the living room which gives me proof that I didn't come home alone, which I ain't fucking happy about.

Also, have you seen this? It usually makes everyone feel better: www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljPFZrRD3J8
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Are you unhappy because someone came back with you
or because your allowed yourself to get so drunk you didn't know how you got home?
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I'm going to go with both
I'm a fucking retard when I've had too many shots. I blame my best friend*.




*Only because I'd have to blame myself otherwise.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)
The moral of the story here
is don't start drinking shots
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)
Tell that to my friend
She started me on them.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Yes of course, it was all your friends fault
she forced you to pour them down your throat.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)
The first one, she actually did.
I *said* I didn't want to do shots.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
So the short version of this story is.
'Got drunk, pulled'?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)
No, "got drunk, think I pulled"
I have a horrible suspicion of who it was too.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Surely it's "got drunk, got raped"

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Nah, my vajayjay remains untouched.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
So you think, they might just have been as small as AA

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)
Was he gone by the time you woke up?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)
Yup
Which is why I have a random phone and NO IDEA TO WHOM IT BELONGS.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)
Why not flick through the phone and see if you can find any photos or useful numbers?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)
Or, send it to Mazuma Mobile

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)
If I don't find out who's it is over the weekend, I will
It's a nice phone, I reckon I'd get a bit for it.

And since I spent some of my holiday savings last night, it's only fair.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)
Part of me wants her to find a pict of chompy holding two thumbs up

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)
HAHA
And a note in the pocket of her jeans saying "If you start itching then you might want to borrow some cream off me"
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)
Aw *sadface*
If it's who I think it is, he's probably too young to have anything infectious*. Plus, I didn't fuck anyone.

*I MEAN 18.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)
Now I want Chompy to enter with his typical
"I log on and find this"
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)
He's too busy disposing of the evidence as last nights raping activities

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)
YES
Just spoke to The Housemate. I came home alone. Apparently I'm just a phone thief. It's an iphone too.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)
You are Barry
AICMFP
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)
*gives TGB £5 from the profits of selling the phone*

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)
i log on and find this???
/Bella gaz me the number I should be able to get a name.
(PsychoChomp, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:26, Reply)
The battery's dead and I ain't got a charger.
I've just messaged the suspect on FB.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)
You must have an interesting catalogue of STI's
What are crabs like?
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)
Alright really
It's like having lots of pets.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)
Poor AA :((

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)
Yeah, not only has he been cuckolded by a rapist
he's also gone and contracted their STI's
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)
He'll have to crank the volume up on Green Day another few notches once he gets wind of this

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)
I'm off to see old friends
Before meeting up with my family for a piss up engagement party.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)
OH MY GOD WHO GOT ENGAGED

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)
I DON'T KNOW TGB!

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
I've got a hangover
And I've got to go to the pub again in a bit before watching some football.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)
But what about the Rugby Jeff?

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Kick off isn't until 5 is it DJ?
So I can watch that after the football.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)
France today isn't it?
cocks. I bet that'll be a good game as well, and I'll probably be watching Dora the fucking explorer at the time instead. *grumbles*

Hows your hangover?
(berk, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)
Introduce your nephews/neices to some proper TV
It should be a cracking match.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)
Not my nephew/neices
just two little girls that I nanny for - I genuinely doubt that a 2 yr old and a 3 yr old who are both obsessed with pink will be up for watching muddy, violent men. Shame. I'll have to see if I can catch the last half or highlights or something.
(berk, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)
I've had worse.
I've just got a bit of a headache.

I can see England beating the French. But I'm not putting any money on it. My bets for today are in already.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Tsk
gambling is silly.
(berk, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)
I've only wagered two quid.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)
Well then why bother?
that just sounds like gambling for gamblings sake and is even more silly.
(berk, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)
I've done a similar bet to the one I did the other week that came in.
Two quid wagered could net close to £150.00

It is unlikely to come off, granted, but for less than the cost of a pint, it adds a bit of interest to the other games being played this afternoon.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)
Hmm.

(berk, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:17, Reply)
?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)
I'm having quite the dilemma
Gonna do a spot of nuddy sunbathing but can't decide whether to take a book, magazines, or music up with me. How's a boy to choose?
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)
Choose the one with the most breasts

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)
i like breasts

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)
it's raining here
my breasts got wet
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Did you rub them to keep them warm?

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)
yes whilst thinking of you
then I threw up a little in my mouth
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)
I did wonder why I became spontaneously aroused this morning.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)
HOLY SHIT
etc
(I helped save b3ta! broadsword, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)
If it helps you at all
I will be going in to work shortly for an hour or two, then I shall be babysitting til about 7pm, and then I have to go in to work tomorrow for an hour or two as well. Oh and then I'm going food shopping. ROCK N MOTHERFLUFFING ROLL.

Just think of the lovely lovely monies you'll be getting.
(berk, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)
I'm going to a friends to watch the Rugby
then we are going for a curry, then we are going to the pub, then we are going to play Singstar until the wee hours. Only I'll be playing Growlstar as I've lost my voice.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Do you have 'Singstar Erasure'?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)
No, and I have no interest in Erasure.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)
Yeah yeah
showoff.
(berk, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)
*struts and preens*

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)
That's the downside to the internet
even when people have lost their voice they can still annoy you
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)
I'm quite upset with you actually.
I notice that Gonz has found a new sushi restaurant in Southgate, and yet I inexplicably don't appear to have received an invitation to sample this restaurant with you and my BFF. What's that all about TGB?
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)
I'm not a massive fan of sushi
And he didn't know until yesterday.
Also you didn't come to the last sushi thing I invited you to
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)
I'm going for a walk. It's raining.
Thankfully I have an umbrella, and I'm wearing altogether too much dark colour. This is odd.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)
Do you normally wear a lot of light colours then?

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)
You know me
I usually wear lots of bright colours and florals. It's mostly grey and silver and black, with a green thing in my hair to go with my GIN necklace.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)
I hope you enjoy your walk

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)
I'm sure I will.
Provided it's not raining too hard.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)
Pissing it down here :(
I really have to go out and do stuff as well.
(berk, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)
When I went out for my morning faglol it was lightly raining
And the corner that stays dry the longest was still dry. Hope it clears up.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)
it appears to have stopped a bit
but I don't care because I'm stuck inside
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)
Right kiddliwinks, I'm off.
Behave yourself. TGB, keep calm and carry on. Al, you're a dick but I love you.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)
Stingray!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)
I'm wearing the silvery top that was part of the stingray costume, yes.
But it's just because the main top is a little seethrough.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)
Eek!
Now it sounds like I'm stalking you.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)
Hahaha sorry.
You've not seen the stingray one where you can see my nipple.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)
it's actually sunny here (I don'tknow how long for)
have you mastered the chain stitch yet?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:56, Reply)
gardening, farmers' market, and making some tasty beer
i totally sympathise with the lack of time. why the 200 hours? evil boss, or running a business?
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)
I 'work' 200 hours every month.
Resentment over this has led to my spending 180 of them being a penis on here.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)
Morning Champ!

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)
*runs up the 'Rocky steps' in Philadelphia*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)
+ gets to the top and coughs up lungs

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)
*sells contents of lungs for $5000*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)
Do you work Saturdays?

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)
He'll turn tricks whenever someone offers him cash.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)
I AM NOT A BUMDERER OF CHEAP TRICKS

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)
YOU BUMDER SO MANY CHEAP TRICKS YOU RECEIVED A WRITING CREDIT ON THE DREAM POLICE ALBUM

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)
I am so not one that I've never heard of your favourite band The Dream Police.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)
No it was by Cheap Trick
it was quite a clever pun.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)
They're shit, but your pun is clever.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)
I did for a few years but now I'm 'happy' with 5 x 10hr days in the week thanks.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)
Monty you utter bender.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)
Sadcore?
Dozer you utter bhuna.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)
Old age?
Monty you big quender.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)
I'll probably only have done 140ish
but if it makes you feel any better, I'll only be paid for 75
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:56, Reply)
Your boss is a posh twat.
I am spending my weekend thinking about next weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)
he is poncing in Paris atm
OMG ME TOO! I am so excited *dances*

haha language fail, one of the hungarairans said to me "you know pork lever?"
me: Pork lever???
H: yes, you know pork *makes oinking noises*
Me: yes, pork lever??
H: No no no lever, like inside? *points*
me: oh LIVER. yes I do know it *uncontrolable laughter*

I think I've offended him :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)
What's happening next weekend?
Am I not invited to something?

Awwwww, this sucks, this must be how Gonz feels. I feel bad now.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)
This isn't how Gonz feels.
He at least gets invited to some stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)
Oh that hurt BFF
that really hurt.


SUPERSADFACE
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)
BFF?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)
Aiiii
check out my profile, I'm adopting a cunning disguise
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)
There is a reason for this

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)
Fair enough, I'd change my name to Darth Foxtrot in exchange
for a second look at those.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)
I haven't been here for a long time.
Why on earth are you picking that name?
*yaaaaawns*
Edit: Oh I see. I am missing lots of dull people doing dull stuff :(
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)
Oh man
Now I feel like a dull person just because I drew up a list of all the b3tans I was going to impersonate and then have been going through and putting strikethroughs on the list as I do them.

And I've just catalogued my CDs. I have nearly 700.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)
UR Chompy AICMFP
Someone I know has offered to digitise my record collection for me, and run it through de-crackling software. This is a mammoth undertaking.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)
Rather them than me
they will have to listen to each one back to make sure the record didn't jump during the transfer. According to Itunes I have nearly 70 days worth of music in my computer.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)
The guy is a photographer
who spends many, many hours in his studio, so he can do this at the same time. Still, fuck that. My ex bought me a USB turntable: I managed to digitise three songs.

I must have 3500-4000 records inc. 45s
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:21, Reply)
That's a hell of a lot of vinyl
I would love yo come round to your house and, once you've passed out, swap about three dozen records into the wrong sleeves.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)
I do that myself drunkenly on a weekly basis.
My soundtrack LP to 'The Warriors' is lost somewhere in my house.

I've got the sleeve...

Plus you're forgetting, I don't pass out.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)
Warriors! Come out to play!
Warriors! Come out to Play!
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:34, Reply)
the end tune 'In the City'
by Joe Walsh is a fucking blinder:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljSuROOUxg8
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:38, Reply)
They played this on Planet Rock the other day
and the guy was talking about it's use in that film.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)
I advise you to seek out
his work with The James Gang, esp the 'Rides Again' album, if you don't have them already.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_qHU_6Ofc0
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:55, Reply)
No, BFF: you are not the dull person.
Wait until you start keeping a spreadsheet detailing stuff about them.
That's when you need to worry.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)
I feel sad my name isn't al-able

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)
GrammAl Badger.
That was fucking hard.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)
I was going to go with The Gralmmer Badger

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)
grammar balger
?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)
Well there you go TGB:
a choice of two in about 4 seconds.

You fucking Deacon.

EDIT: THREE NOW *belms*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)
three

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)
Grammar BadgAl
FFS TGB that is now FOUR.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)
yeah but I don't go by my full name anymore
*poshes*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)
TGALB

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:02, Reply)
"AlTheGeordie who is pretending to be The Grammer Badger, Tee Hee, nobody will ever know !.... AA, please stop GAZing me, not relivent to my interests, you don't even own an average sized and perfroming penis; rubber or otherwise".

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)
OH DJ ! Listen, mate, about that Gaz, I'm not sure if it's right for you to sale Roota off for sexual favours in exchange for money, and I don't even have £25, but I could get it together with a few mates.
I know you hate her guts and think it was a big mistake to ask her to marry you, but surely you can just call it off without trying to hurt her even more? Yeah', I know, it's funny the way she thinks you're besotted and all that, how she's making all these wedding plans, but please tell her it's off, it's just not fair on anyone else, esspecially me who has already rented out a tux.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)
And there was me thinking you'd pulled...

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)
i'm going to incorporate 'pork lever' into my daily vocabulary immediately.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)
you utter pork lever.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)
he's made me toast with pate and spicy sauce
it's yummy
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)
Has he balanced it on his pork lever for you?

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)
hahah no

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)
He's speared three slices on his pork lever
Unfortunately that's his limit.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)
sword lever.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)

three slices TGB
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)
She does so love to get porked
while close to bathroom suites.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)
It's handy for afterwards when she wants to sluice out the cavern.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:26, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)
I'm unnaturally tired
And appear to have fallen asleep in my clothes for no reason. So the weekend could already be better. Hard days work tomorrow though
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:29, Reply)
So many cocks to ride, so little time

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:34, Reply)
so succinct and so untrue
Not even one
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)
AA is but a brief gaz away

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:55, Reply)
wotcha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)
Alrite Monty, up to anything today?
I'm trying to muster the effort to move today, but I just can't be arsed. Oh the life of a travelling Irish Knacker
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:02, Reply)
Diddly, diddly dee.
I'm staying overnight at my ex's tonight I think, so I'm trying not to go for a cheeky pint. Anything to avoid cleaning my flat which looks like a squat.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:10, Reply)
squalour-fives :(

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)
that made me feel sick:(

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:00, Reply)
Oh, so you haven't plumbed new levels of desperation then
Hang on in there!
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)
finishing off uni work, brilliant.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:36, Reply)
Are we gonna win the cup tomorrow Bobby? Are we?

(Bazongaloid, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)
You and Bobby? Unlikely at best, seeing as how you're both over 25 stone.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)
they mean the
darts cup
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
yeah know imagine that 25 stone of momentum ramming a kebab fork up your arse!!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)
fingers crossed pal, I hope so I have forgotten what it feels like now.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)
I didn't drink last night
but feel like I have a slight hangover

also, is it a bad thing that one of my plug sockets buzzes when you switch it on?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)
yes, stop using it straight away.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)
yeah, I've done that, after a couple of tests to see if it was that
or the kettle. It's a double socket, reckon the other one will be OK to use?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)
Test it out by sticking a metal skewer into it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:56, Reply)
OK
bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

seems ok
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)
Erm, your hair's smoking slightly...

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)
I'm totally
smokin'
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)
yeah should be, I had the same before and the other one was fine. You will need to get it checked pal.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)
cheers
will email the landlord
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)
probably as bad as the fact
My hairdryer gives you a very slight shock if you use it
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)
Other people get a shock if I use a hairdryer

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)
I once somehow managed to wire up my electric guitar
In such a way that when I was wearing it, and stopped playing to put something on top of my freeview box, the metal case of the freeview box somehow caused a circuit and I could feel a buzzing when I touched it. I feared for my heart.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:07, Reply)
I'm sitting here digesting my dinner as quickly as possible so I can go to the gym.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:27, Reply)
I'm trying not to go out for a massive breakfast I cannot afford
just to get out of my shitty flat. Also, I only remembered I'd put all my towels in the wash when I got out of the shower. 6'2" of Monty has just been dried with a flannel.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:30, Reply)
*imagines 6'2" of naked Monty*

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:32, Reply)
*bokes, bokes hard*

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:33, Reply)
go for a walk
They're free!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)
it's raining.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)

oh no will your hair go frizzy?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:46, Reply)
i'm going to the salon for a colour and blow-job tomorrow
it BETTER not be raining when i come out. that is all.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)
It's OK, I've got Anti-frizz Condtioning Milk on it.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)
*Sigh*
Anti-frizz Condtioning Milk spunk.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:59, Reply)
*sigh*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:04, Reply)
It's the best I could do, Monters.
I'm a bit hungover. This is not good.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:05, Reply)
it's the last 6 inches that's the most important bit
also you should have called me. i am a bit obessed with towels and bedding. at the last count i had 24 towels. just call me monica...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)
MONEYMAKING IDEA
Webcam that shit, there's lonely wankers out there who'd lap that up
*Montys afternoon showing starts in 25 minutes*
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:36, Reply)
you could join in too
having been the shocked but secretly impressed recipient of a rory-cock-gaz, i think some people would pay to see that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:37, Reply)
It's umm a bit cold at the moment, and be seems to have gone back to being a white-boi again
sadtimes
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)
so what you're saying is
you just googled "gigantic black cock" and then posted it to me on the pretence that it was what you were packing?

oh rory, how COULD you?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)
I don't know what came over me, lying on the internet
So why are you wasting your time here on a Saturday?
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)
skiving working on my masters essay
so far today i've done beauty salon, gym, tesco, car valet. have a 3 hour break to work then it's back to the other beauty salon for eyebrows, manicure and hairdo, before off to covent garden for a birthday party. clearly i am now wasting the 3 hours working by pissing around on here talking about your enormous black schlong.

what's your excuse?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)
Work innit
Avoiding moving as well, can't be arsed, I seem to have accumulated lots of shit over the course of my life. Turns out that place I'm off to next week has a spa thing attached to it. Needless to say I won't be partaking as I'm so manly.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:52, Reply)
a spa?
you need a flatmate? i can cook and clean (or pay someone else to do it) and i have some seriously slutty friends who can drop by...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:54, Reply)
You'll be too busy hairdying your arsehole I would imagine.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:54, Reply)
now i'm imagining it too
thanks monts
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)
STOP THIS BULLYING

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)
DON'T BE SUCH A DRIP.
(just use your 'old faithful' hairdryer, that should stop the dripping)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:00, Reply)
*FLOUNCE ALERT* I'm off

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)
to do some work

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)

work anus hairdrying
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:03, Reply)
do you know these girls?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:13, Reply)
they do it at my gym too.
It's fucking horrendous.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:00, Reply)
Stop this sickness

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:02, Reply)
by replacing the innards with a luger and watching them shoot themselves up the arse!

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:04, Reply)
how much hair do these guys have up there?
i mean, i've been out with guys with horribly hairy holes, but this is ridiculous.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:06, Reply)
They've probably got anal regions like an African savanna, Swipey.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:07, Reply)
You should've been like that chap
on the Freak Like Me show, who dried himself after every shower using a hairdryer
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)
omg that's horrible
imagine drying - well, somewhere really intimate - with a HAIRDRYER!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)
There was a chap at the gym the other day hairdrying his arsehole

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)
I believe I've documented this event on these very pages

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)
WHAT?????
link me up real nice?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)
Search functions fucked :(
I couldn't help but observe out of the corner of my eye some guy bent over with a hairdryer up his arse for a good 10 minutes in the changing rooms. I felt a bit ill, but watched with sickened fascination. So yeah, I hope birds don't get up to that sort of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)
Yeah, mirrors really can be offputting, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:59, Reply)
....and his name was Rory Lyon.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:53, Reply)
how... i mean, HOW
do you bend over and push it between your thighs, or turn round and... i mean, HOW?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Why are you asking me when the chap who did it is right here?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)
The last thing this place needs right now is another meme involving arseholes

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:00, Reply)
I disagree.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)
He'd have to admit to having a hairdryer first.
I bet he has a GHD one but tells people he just puts on [some band the likes of _you_* probably haven't heard off, but was produced by the lead singer of some obscure band that had 3 good hits] at full volume like the old HMV adverts.

* Or anyone else.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)
insightful comment is insightful
i love it when you do this. do me one day?? (but be gentle, it'll be my first time)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:46, Reply)
I wish I did have one.
My hair is dripping all over the show.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:49, Reply)
I am puzzled
given the length of your hair as to why you don't use a hairdryer. Mine takes hours to dry naturally
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)
It broke. About three years ago.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:51, Reply)
pro tip
blot it with a towel, don't rub it.

obviously it doesn't work if both your towels (you are a man, i am guessing you only have two, one large and one small and both slightly threadbare and you have no idea where you got them from, they have just always been there) are sopping, however.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:52, Reply)
Two large, two small, John Lewis
Good old mother.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)
I've just hung the towel wash out.
Yeah, rock 'n' roll lifestyle or what?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)
*devil horns*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:11, Reply)
I was totally smoking a fag when I did it.
Well, not when, after. Don't want to get the lovely fresh towels all minging of tab smoke.

I have also done the dishes.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:13, Reply)

blot it with a towel, don't rub it.

obviously it doesn't work if both your towels (you are a man, i am guessing you only have two, one large and one small and both slightly threadbare and you have no idea where you got them from, they have just always been there) are sopping, however.

The 80s are over, Simon Cowl won, girl power happened, Kurk Cabain shot himself in the head and Ryan Adam topped the charts for 16 weeks with a song that has brackets in the title.... get over it and get a hair cut, hippy.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:58, Reply)
This is perhaps your best post ever.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:02, Reply)

+1 (80) +BCs, Switzerland is a tax haven, Raping and Pillaging is looked down upon by modern society, meed comes in a can, steal has replaced copper and bronze, and people look at your religion in the same way as the Greeks and the Romans; that it's not a religion anymore, but myths.... the viking lost, get over it.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:13, Reply)
Just ruin my day, whydoncha?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:29, Reply)
Semi NSFW.
www.liquidvinylclothing.com/M1R2-1026.html
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:40, Reply)
*cries with laughter*
in the name of God, Gonz...WHY?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:42, Reply)
Mine's a Tabasco sauce branded beach towel
that I bought ten years ago in Tampa.

Your stereotypical bigotry has been successfully lambasted yet again. I hope you feel ashamed.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:10, Reply)
the worst is when you tie it up wet then hours later you let it down and it's still wet and cold.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)
Homo

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:11, Reply)
Jeez! you can get a hairdryer nowadays for a tenner that would do.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:37, Reply)
I haven't got a tenner.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:43, Reply)
: (

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 14:51, Reply)

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