I may have poached eggs on toast in a bit
I really should do some actual work first, as I've done effectively fuck all today.

Alt: I have a mysterious sinus headache, and a big wobbly gut. And cash flow problems, which are not being helped by refusal to do some fucking work and shift some of the stock I bought last week.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:10, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I fucking love poached eggs
Egg of champions
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Nah, omelettes beat hands down.
Cheese and mushroom preferably.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:19, Reply)

don't be silly
the best uses of eggs are ones in which the yolk is runny and seperate. So poached, fried or soft-boiled
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:20, Reply)

Vippers, you are 100% correct

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

This.
But fried can get a bit boring too sometimes.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Not had a boiled egg for ages.
*Looks at kitchen*
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:23, Reply)

Incorrect. Fried eggs with hard middles are the bomb.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I'm sorry it has come to this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

the bomb boring lumps of cack.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Nah mate, crispy, done both sides, in butter, with brown bits
Lovely.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:41, Reply)

ARGH!
Make it stop!! Eggs are NOT crispy and should have no crispy bits!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:42, Reply)

*BUZZ* Wrong!
The poached egg is a thing of beauty, just cooked and wobbling on some toast. Watch as the yolk is burst, spilling its contents over the bread. Sprinkle with salt and NOM
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

That was like porn

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Egg porn!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

You, madam, are WRONG!
The only eggs worth eating are the ones with lovely runny yolks. And the only way to eat eggs is to accompany them with hot buttery toast.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I want eggs now!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

You fucking idiots seem to have forgotten the Black Pudding Scotch Egg.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:23, Reply)

I had one of these a few weeks ago!
tres magnifique!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

They rule the universe like an ovoid Ming the Merciless.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Fenwicks do about 5 different varieties
such as chilli ones. I shall sample them all!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Do so post haste: then review them on here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:37, Reply)

I shall go on Thursday and sample the chilli one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I wish I could afford to shop in Fenwicks
I can barely afford my Morrisons shopping...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:39, Reply)

I can stretch to one Scotch Egg
just
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:41, Reply)

That's not what I heard, 'Goatse-cow'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:42, Reply)

I say one Scotch Egg
It was more Ostrich
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:43, Reply)

this is possibly the best thing I have read on here
made all the better because it is about black pudding scotch eggs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:39, Reply)

Sweet Jesus they're tasty.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:42, Reply)

You dirty cunt

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

mr b3th came home the other day with this awful pork pie / egg monstrosity
it was about a foot long, catering size, and had eggs all the way through it. He didn't understand the wrongness of his actions, so I had to kill him.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Surely you could have allowed the food to do that?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

+ and eat the pork pie

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

That's a Gala Pie and there's fuck all wrong with them, you oaf*


*oeuf - THATS THE JOKE
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Bingo
*bingo ... gala ... another shit joke*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:31, Reply)

That joke is poorer than the people of Zimbabwe.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:35, Reply)

SO'S YOUR FACE!

Now look what you've done - you made me use CAPS! Fetch me my belt, boy. This'll hurt you more than it hurts me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:38, Reply)

*chucks pile of tyres over B3th's head and sets them alight*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:41, Reply)

+ Joins the Winnie Mandela football team

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I hate jokes of that oeuvre
OEUVRE, OEUF, OAF, THAT'S THE JOKE.

Fucking comedy gold right here.
( Kroney, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Eggsactly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:35, Reply)

OOF that hurt

( Kroney, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:36, Reply)

This subthread is funny because they're phononyms, sorta.
Psychochomp isn't around, you see.
( Kroney, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:39, Reply)

PhonoNOMs
hahahaha
( Kroney, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I am but I didn't want to be involved in this subthread.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:44, Reply)

I'm barely following it myself
I'm not cut out for such highbrow word wrangling.
( Kroney, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Sorry Gyles Brandreth,
I expect you're too busy lolling it up round Richard Stilgoe's gaff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife
Stillgoe's On!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Did you know that an anagram of Richard Stilgoe...
..is Clitoris Dogshit?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)

And Clitoris Dogshit is the name of that woman with too much plastic surgery

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Debbie Ash? Pete Burns?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Homophonophobe.

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Boiled and poached eggs are the best eggs. Other eggs are boring eggs.
For the sake of all those 9-5ers with horrid supervisors and smelly racists at the next desk, DO SOME WORK!

(And take some Sudofed. It will make you do snots and lose your headache.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:20, Reply)

trepanning?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

This will work too.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I do NOT smell, OK?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:54, Reply)

You smell of blood and pork

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Black pudding?
I would think this causes some confusing consternation to Herr Monty
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Scrambled eggs are best of all the eggs
but they need love care and attention.

Would you like to hear my egg joke, although it may involve me being told to leave the internet?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:00, Reply)

They're a bit boring

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:04, Reply)