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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Enough of this idle chit chat, it is lunch time...and with it comes No. 2826 of an increasingly tedious series - The Lunch Thread.
Today I am having a chilli king prawn wrap and a Nom yoghurt (bought for the sole purpose of mentioning it on here!)
Alt Q:
What ailments are you lot suffering from? Today I have back knackage and clickypoppy ears
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:37,
164 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
I really should have something but I'm a. not hungry just yet and b. don't want to move.Alt: Blooody, sodding, bastard kidneys. Ow. Must remember to drink more.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:39,
Reply)
I drink about 10 pints of water a dayI'm always thirsty. I got checked for diabetes a while ago as this was a common symptom of it, but not got it.
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:41,
Reply)
Check out old 'William Hague' here with his ten pints a day.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:50,
Reply)
I love the MDs, meMassive Drinks
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:52,
Reply)
A fine Yorkshire man.Although hw was 16 going on 50 at tha Tory Party conference.
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)
I wish to kill himHis voice makes me angry
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:54,
Reply)
He's the politician I hate the least.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:03,
Reply)
He'd make a decent standup comedian I reckon.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:14,
Reply)
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:15,
Reply)
I've had an on/off stitch in my chest for about a week, I think it's cancer.(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:42, Reply)
shame it's not a switchand permanently set to off.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:43,
Reply)
I would like to congratulate you on this retort(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:44,
Reply)
i have a training sessionon the plus side, the sandwiches have massively improved.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:47,
Reply)
What sandwiches have they prepared for you today?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:48,
Reply)
This^Buffet = win
If thee are vol-au-vents then it is perfect
/raisespinkyfinger
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:53,
Reply)
The last one I went to was my gym's Xmas party.A fucking MASSIVE chocolate cake.
And chicken vol-au-vents.
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:53,
Reply)
Obvious strikethrough still raises a giggle(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:54,
Reply)
Povvo soup, wholemeal bread and houmous.Alt: I have no right to be, but I am in fine fettle to be honest.
My problems are all up here *taps temple*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:53,
Reply)
I had jalapeno hummus last weekIt was cracking!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:53,
Reply)
I was disgusted to see Jamie Oliver passing off my 'houmous trick' as his own on TV last week. The cunt.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:55,
Reply)
What is this trick?(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:55,
Reply)
Dump shop-bought houmous into bowl.Liberally drizzle with QOTW olive oil, dust with paprika*.
Result: it's like freshly-home-made houmous.
*he also recommended a little lemon juice but I cannot vouch for that having never tried it. That aside it was blatant plagiarism and my legal team are working on an epic suing.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:58,
Reply)
Thank God you're here.How's work on our own exclusive board going? I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with this lot. I'm really not.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:07,
Reply)
Don't forget what we agreed at the meeting:we'll need an 'I really like this a lot' button, and a 'God you're clever' button too.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:11,
Reply)
And your special "Its fucking shit" button(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:15,
Reply)
The fucking cunt only went and steamed'n'fried ravilio in a 10 year old show the other day.I said to TGB, "You know what? I don't mind being the co-creator of this with Jamie, I'll do him a favour".
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:01,
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We should hide outside his house and beat him up.The fucking cunt.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:05,
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just bide your time for another ten years or sothen knob his daughters senseless.
All of them.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:11,
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Do his wife nowShe looks cheeky
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:14,
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I'm gonna do the daughters now. Eff it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:15,
Reply)
What are their names?Squirrel and popcorn or something?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:16,
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'Bushmeat' and 'Jailbait', I think.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:18,
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Oh dear, you seem to be encouraging board noncing(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:18,
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Are we stealing your thunder there Mr Gadd?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:18,
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I've seen Jonathan King out and about with his starbucks coffeeHe looked fat and sweaty, but the kids seem to love that look so who am I to complain
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:20,
Reply)
I've got chilli with a jacket potato, yet againHowever, I had a Chicken Balti pie midway through the morning, so I'm delaying lunch for as long as possible!
Alt: Mild irritation, caused by working with retards. Aside from that, not too bad!
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:56,
Reply)
I'd eat a 'chilli cheese jacket' every day of the week in winter and would never tire of it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:59,
Reply)
While it does sound like that, I'm not actually tired of it at allI'm changing the recipe a little every time I'm making the chilli, so it keeps getting better! Tomorrow, I get to start eating the 4 meat version, should be fantastic.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:01,
Reply)
Do you add black treacle to your chillis?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:08,
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NoAs mine always goes in a slow cooker, I tend to avoid anything that can richen or sweeten the flavour too much, just in case.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:35,
Reply)
No idea. Will go to Tescos and buy crap sandwiches most likelyAfter the pub, of course. That's what I've got for lunch; BEER
Alt Q: Haven't been able to breathe (or inhale other substances) through my nose since some time in early January, one of my teeth seems to be signing out and apparently I have osteo-arthritis in the ball of my right foot. I have been advised to give up dancing because of this. I have refused.
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:59, Reply)
I feel your painI have OA in pretty much every joint of my body. This means that not only can I not dance, I also can't get up out of any chair I've been sitting in for more than five minutes. Well, not without sounding like somebody's granny, anyway.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:07,
Reply)
Ouch!I'm worried I'm getting something like this in my knees. It hurts to stand up when I've been sitting for a while
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:14,
Reply)
I asked my doctor whether I should avoid any activities because of itand he very cheerfully told me I should do what I could now, as in fifteen years I would barely be able to move.
This was about eight years ago. *eep*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
why can't you breathe?too many drugs?
sad times DF
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:08,
Reply)
He's got a blockage in his throat*, poor lad.*it's a massive black man's cock
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:14,
Reply)
He'll only nosh them if their cock matches his decor.He's THAT gay.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:22,
Reply)
I'm drinking sunny d out of the carton like a mother fucking bossalt: I have a bruised sternum, new bra and it's not the same as the ones I usually wear [discontinued] so I'm fucking suffering
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:01,
Reply)
I've got one just like it, then.My hair is made from the tears of little children, too.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:08,
Reply)
You need oneYour tits are far too saggy
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:10,
Reply)
I KNEW this top was too low-cut.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:26,
Reply)
I'm suffering from stress. My first new pole class last night was a bit disastrous. I was one pole short, the music wouldn't work and one of the remaining poles fell down in the middle. I think the class went ok after that but still, worst first impression ever.
I also can't touch my toes or bend down after trying to do the splits.
on the upside I have three sammichez
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
Igor didn't turn up*obvious joke is obvious*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:06,
Reply)
One pole wouldn't fit properly so I couldn't use it. Then at the end one of the working poles got stuck so I had to get a man to get it down.it wasn't very empowering
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:13,
Reply)
I would like to point out that Nom yoghurts are well named!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:12,
Reply)
You wouldn't believe the amount of people who have sent me picture messages of them, its like I'm the ambassador for noms
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:15,
Reply)
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:16,
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I reckon I would believe the amount.I am almost 100% certain it's no more than five at the very most, and I challenge you to prove otherwise.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:17,
Reply)
I don't believe you*joins in*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:18,
Reply)
You are Richard Wilson AICMFP(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
*gets locked in toilet in "comedic style*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:26,
Reply)
In reality its about 3 and I sent two of them myself.
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Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:31,
Reply)
AHA! I THOUGHT AS MUCH.*Poirot smug face*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:39,
Reply)
Worse than Les Dennis's 'Ah dern't reaally knerrr'?Shit, Nommers, that's BAD.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:10,
Reply)
I may have poached eggs on toast in a bitI really should do some actual work first, as I've done effectively fuck all today.
Alt: I have a mysterious sinus headache, and a big wobbly gut. And cash flow problems, which are not being helped by refusal to do some fucking work and shift some of the stock I bought last week.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:10,
Reply)
I fucking love poached eggsEgg of champions
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:13,
Reply)
don't be sillythe best uses of eggs are ones in which the yolk is runny and seperate. So poached, fried or soft-boiled
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:20,
Reply)
Vippers, you are 100% correct(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
This.But fried can get a bit boring too sometimes.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
Incorrect. Fried eggs with hard middles are the bomb.(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
I'm sorry it has come to this 
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:25,
Reply)
Nah mate, crispy, done both sides, in butter, with brown bitsLovely.
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:41,
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ARGH!Make it stop!! Eggs are NOT crispy and should have no crispy bits!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:42,
Reply)
*BUZZ* Wrong!The poached egg is a thing of beauty, just cooked and wobbling on some toast. Watch as the yolk is burst, spilling its contents over the bread. Sprinkle with salt and NOM
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:21,
Reply)
You, madam, are WRONG!The only eggs worth eating are the ones with lovely runny yolks. And the only way to eat eggs is to accompany them with hot buttery toast.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:23,
Reply)
You fucking idiots seem to have forgotten the Black Pudding Scotch Egg.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:23,
Reply)
I had one of these a few weeks ago!tres magnifique!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
They rule the universe like an ovoid Ming the Merciless.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:27,
Reply)
Fenwicks do about 5 different varietiessuch as chilli ones. I shall sample them all!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:29,
Reply)
Do so post haste: then review them on here.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:37,
Reply)
I shall go on Thursday and sample the chilli one(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:38,
Reply)
I wish I could afford to shop in FenwicksI can barely afford my Morrisons shopping...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:39,
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I can stretch to one Scotch Eggjust
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:41,
Reply)
That's not what I heard, 'Goatse-cow'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:42,
Reply)
I say one Scotch EggIt was more Ostrich
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:43,
Reply)
this is possibly the best thing I have read on heremade all the better because it is about black pudding scotch eggs
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:39,
Reply)
mr b3th came home the other day with this awful pork pie / egg monstrosityit was about a foot long, catering size, and had eggs all the way through it. He didn't understand the wrongness of his actions, so I had to kill him.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:24,
Reply)
Surely you could have allowed the food to do that?(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:25,
Reply)
That's a Gala Pie and there's fuck all wrong with them, you oaf**oeuf - THATS THE JOKE
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:28,
Reply)
Bingo*bingo ... gala ... another shit joke*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:31,
Reply)
That joke is poorer than the people of Zimbabwe.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:35,
Reply)
SO'S YOUR FACE!Now look what you've done - you made me use CAPS! Fetch me my belt, boy. This'll hurt you more than it hurts me.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:38,
Reply)
*chucks pile of tyres over B3th's head and sets them alight*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:41,
Reply)
+ Joins the Winnie Mandela football team(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:45,
Reply)
I hate jokes of that oeuvreOEUVRE, OEUF, OAF, THAT'S THE JOKE.
Fucking comedy gold right here.
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Kroney, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:34,
Reply)
This subthread is funny because they're phononyms, sorta.Psychochomp isn't around, you see.
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Kroney, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:39,
Reply)
I'm barely following it myselfI'm not cut out for such highbrow word wrangling.
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Kroney, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:45,
Reply)
Sorry Gyles Brandreth,I expect you're too busy lolling it up round Richard Stilgoe's gaff.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:48,
Reply)
Did you know that an anagram of Richard Stilgoe.....is Clitoris Dogshit?
(, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)
And Clitoris Dogshit is the name of that woman with too much plastic surgery(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:58,
Reply)
Boiled and poached eggs are the best eggs. Other eggs are boring eggs.For the sake of all those 9-5ers with horrid supervisors and smelly racists at the next desk, DO SOME WORK!
(And take some Sudofed. It will make you do snots and lose your headache.)
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:20,
Reply)
Black pudding?I would think this causes some confusing consternation to Herr Monty
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:02,
Reply)
Scrambled eggs are best of all the eggsbut they need love care and attention.
Would you like to hear my egg joke, although it may involve me being told to leave the internet?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:00,
Reply)
I had baked potatoes with last nights bologneseBut I went to the gym first, so I can justify meaty, cheesy goodness.
ALT: the usual lack of motivation, I need some ritalin or something
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
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