Lazy gits.
I've been up since 6.10am - I know, five hours fucking sleep on a Saturday. Today I get to help my friends unpack the entire contents of their old house into their new one, under the guise of playing Hotwheels with their two-year old lad for five hours. I think we all know who wins here.

What does Saturday hold for you, other than a distant and untraceable feeling of regret?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 10:19, 80 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Alright Noel.
I am preparing for a quiz night by reading the paper.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I didn't get much more than that
I'm heartily sick of this 'not sleeping' malarky. I'm visiting a friend and we're going for a wander and making ice cream and cookies and stuff.
There might even be a pillow fight in our pyjamas later.

She's just given me my belated christmas present: dinosaur cookie cutters. I love her.
(berk, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 11:06, Reply)

morning
I've been to the Post Office. That was fun.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 Mar 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I have to go in a sec to return something to Asos. They are the worst pair of shoes I've ever spent £81 on.
My birthday hasn't been very glamorous so far.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I'm currently wearing my favourite new boots
£25 from Dorothy Perkins. Ridiculously high heels, but fur lined and very comfy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 5 Mar 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I can only really do car-to-bar these days

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:02, Reply)

We're off for a walk in the Wye valley.
Woop.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I'm slightly jealous.
Five-mile client walk locally tomorrow, maybe something big in the Chilterns next weekend.

Also: www.b3ta.com/links/Heartbeats_120 *pimps*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Dude, I've just seen your email,
I will do that this weekend, sorry it's the end of my school experience and the paper work is bent.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 12:32, Reply)

No worries, thanks for the update.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 12:47, Reply)

what do you thino of those Burial albums then?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Bit "empty" for me, not enough meat on them.
I got hooked on James Blake's album which, in the most part, is "empty" in a similar way, but I dunno, they just didn't grab me.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 13:45, Reply)

I'm at St. Andrews
I had forgotten what a shithole the Blues ground is.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I swallowed a fly there

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 13:58, Reply)

then a spider?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Aaaaaaaah shush!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)

playing some Gears of War 2.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 12:47, Reply)

afternoon noel and chums
I just made a garden. This is big and clever
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 13:08, Reply)

I've dug over my compost heap
And I'm tidying my shed
(Bazongaloid, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 13:28, Reply)

we are so rock and roll

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 13:32, Reply)

Just back from fun with daughter,
now watching History of Scotland, then tidying house, washing hair and getting ready for Big Night Out for Lusty's birthday. We're going to a nightclub in Wankditch. It is likely to be a heavy one.

Have been teasing Lab about his frankly worrying obsession with 80s jazz-funk mediocrities Level 42 via the medium of text.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 13:49, Reply)

you alright?
You sound...domesticated.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)

Not so. I'm drinking beer and not really doing anything sensible at all yet.
I'm cranking out Them Changes by Buddy Miles and trying to raise MD merchants from their beds to fuel the evening's lunacy.

You ok?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Oh try and have a good night out with the expense of that shit for Pete's sake.
You're old and skint. Behave.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Right.
a) I'm under instruction to arrange the 'catering' for several invitees
b) It won't cost me a penny

...unlike the drinking which will cost me a small fortune, but alcohol's OK (despite being considerably more expensive as well as much more unhealthy), right?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)

No, alcohol's a bastard and all

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:23, Reply)

In a sensible world I'd say I coul

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:23, Reply)

i hate thisd

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:24, Reply)

laptop

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:24, Reply)

in a sensible world i'd stay in altogether
and be a shit boyfriend, but I don't want to be that person.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Shurrup mizgob,
I hope you got her a clown with moving limbs from Lizzie Duke. Girls love those.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:28, Reply)

*takes notes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:30, Reply)

ANd if you've not got time to personalise
get her a pendant saying No.1Nan
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I was going to customise a 'dad' ring with tippex.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:36, Reply)

And those pens you use when you pirate a CD

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)

My laptop keeps thinking I've got my finger held down on 'return' but I haven't.
(I mean 'enter' because return would mean I was from the 70s, right...)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Occasionally this one decides that Shift means I want to do some fucking weird shit
where everything highlights and nothing behaves properly - and it consistently jumps between lines with the cursor. fucking 'acer empowering technology' my arsehole.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Mine's Acer and all
and I know one day i'll wake up and it will be dead.
Sometimes an alarm goes off like I've stolen it.
¬_¬
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:33, Reply)

they should be called 'scheisse' instead

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Fucking right.
Seriously, when they're not broken they're just being cunty.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:40, Reply)

yeah.
Was tipsoid last night. Beers. Partook in YouTube disco with Bella and Amberl.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Was there a theme to last night's disco?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)

electronic and ska.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:24, Reply)

I fell asleep dead early

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Me too, about 9pm.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I was a bit later than that
but me and Tigger had been napping all day, due to my bowels and hypochondria.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Do you know any of Level 42?
Lindup in particular.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:00, Reply)

I wish.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:19, Reply)

There was this girl who used to be at our University and she was the image of him
I need to know if they're related.
I found an old 80s Now cassette when I was in the middle of splitting up with someone. It's Over by Level 42 came on and despite the acrimonious death throes, we had to piss ourselves laughing.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:24, Reply)

there's a '42 number for every occasion.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I prefer the 900 number.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:27, Reply)

'Unwind Yourself' innit
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym7IOodKeWI
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Oh my god I just read the lyrics and I'm pissing myself.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:31, Reply)

What Ho, Internet
Today has mostly been tidying up and washing, and a bit of tomorrow will need to be also. Have arranged lots of stuff (mostly empty bottles) in bags for the recycling peeps on Monday morning. I should do this more often so's I wouldn't look like such a massive alky.

I shall now have a shower, and thus smell a little less like a goat.

Then I shall visit the butchers' and purchase a two-pints'-worth sirloin steak, which I shall marinate in home-made chimichurri (quite a new batch, only been in the jar for a couple of weeks) for tomorrow's supper.

Tonight will be a gig in a local pub, a bit of mildly-psychedelic surf-pop-rock-funk nonsense, but hardly any covers, almost all original and well-proven numbers.

Tomorrow afternoon will be another gig, at which the young Crow might join me in the audience *gazzes reminder*.

I predict that the weekend will be too short, as always.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:30, Reply)

My brother
alternates between bottle banks because he's embarrassed by his carloads...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:35, Reply)

I've no car, and no inclination to lug the empties to the local bottle bank.
Although thinking about it, they're in the car park of the local pub. Maybe I should reconsider that ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:38, Reply)

My mum and dad sneak some of the contents of their recycling wheelie bin round to my auntie's one.
They have a lot of visitors but it's still shocking that they can fill more than a wheelie bin with wine and lager in a fortnight.
I suggested they crush the cans to reduce volume but my mum said "Oh no, you're not to crush them. It's something to do with the environment."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I have a bizarre lurgy and feel anti-social
So I've decided that as long as I do some washing and housework, and make-and-freeze some meals in advance, I don't have to go out, I can sleep all day and am NOT a cunt for cancelling wine with my mate and my other mate's gig.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Sounds entirely fair to me.
Tonight's gig is about seven minutes' walk there, and then possibly eleven minutes' totter back - I'm that lazy! Hope you feel better soon ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I'm not at death's door, and I'll quite enjoy a bit of peace.
If I go out it'll be all "Have another drink! Have another!" and all people I havent seen for ages trying to get me blotto.
Whereas here I can have a coupla glasses and snog the cat.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Afternoon all.
I've got a stuffy nose.

I'm going to do some housework and listen to the football.

Oh, and a Happy Birthday to Barry.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Stuffy right here too!
I'm currently making soooop.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:57, Reply)

What colour soup are you making?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Beige
I might make red soup later, but I'm more likely to make an advance vat of tomato sauce, batches of which could become soupish at a later date.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I'll be in the stuffy gang tomorrow
For now I'm blaring out Dr Feelgood and, y'know, feeling good.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Alright Monty?
Found any more unfunny gyppo videos?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:06, Reply)

You of all people
I expected more from.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:09, Reply)

they were only slightly funny.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Something for you to aspire to, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:16, Reply)

nonsense.
My comedian skills are finely developed.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

ha!
I think that maybe you built it up too much.

What are you going to listen to after Dr Feelgood?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Humble Pie's 'I Don't Need No Doctor' I think, for the ironylolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I've only heard the John Mayer funk-blues cover of that, what's the original like?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Like this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=djI80iZvA9I

The Humble Pie version wins though:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZMmV6xXYFw
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)

wot a fackin' choon eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:21, Reply)

not 'arf.
Reet. Am gan' shoppin. Lyeartaz.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Cos you're gonna see yo' lady and it's her birthday

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:13, Reply)

That's right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Is it her actual birthday, or just the closest convenient weekend?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:19, Reply)

The day is next Weds.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 5 Mar 2011, 15:20, Reply)