Too much social retardation and autism in that thread
Wow me with tales of daring and bravado or something from the "Real World"

ALT: New age people are cunts aren't they?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:03, 103 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Alt: not as bad as threadstompers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Alt: are you a new age person?
If you are, then I agree.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I'm a younger aged person than you
really i just saw a cryatal on my colleague's desk and was desperate to leave the flaky, masturbating hoards behind in their autism thread
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I hung my punchbag up on tuesday
and I punched it RIGHT IN THE FACE. And it didn't give me any shit after that.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:05, Reply)

When did you last beat your wife?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:09, Reply)

In the tits?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Hence lopsided?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

So not only did Al pummel his wife so bad she's become physically deformed
But he then tells the entire Internet about it? What a cunt...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Yeah
cunt ²
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Bragging about it, he was.
People like him make me SICK.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Y'know, something should be done about him
Now I'm not suggesting we hold him down and beat him until he stops bleeding, that would be irresponsible of me if not illegal...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:23, Reply)

...but if *someone* were to do that,
maybe tonight at about 8 o'clock, round the back of Barnet Sainsbury's, for example, I for one would not judge that person harshly at all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:30, Reply)

*books trains*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:32, Reply)

*manufactures makeshift knuckle dusters*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:34, Reply)

well yeah
she would hardly have had to stoop to marrying al if she hadn't been hideously physically deformed, would she? he had to improve his odds.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:22, Reply)

this morning in our team meeting
we had a pile of the firm branded sweets which are unhelpfully in opaque packets so you can't see the colour (lemon, orange, strawberry, cherry, apple and cola, with the cola ones being prized above all others. people spend hours in meetings trying subtly to work out which one might be the cola one). i plunged my hand right into that bowl and i found that elusive cola prize. and it was sweet. so sweet. like victory and children's tears.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I like this!
It is beautiful
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

She who dares wins.

( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:10, Reply)

dares sucks off her boss
wins gets to live in the lap of luxury in central london.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:12, Reply)

my boss is brilliant
but i am not his type. you might well be, however.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:12, Reply)

He loves the fatties

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:13, Reply)

and teh cock
i love him, but i could never convert him!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:15, Reply)

hmmmm
that bowl my bosses pants cola promotion giving
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:15, Reply)

This one time in World of Warcraft
I stood in the fire and everyone was like "get out the fire" and I was like "lol" and then I died and someone called me a noob so I ate a pack of doughnuts.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I'm guessing we are not far from truth here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

It was two packs :(

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:13, Reply)

haha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:13, Reply)

50% of what people say when they are joking is true

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:16, Reply)

I have the achievement "Stood in the fire"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:11, Reply)

do you actually mean "achievement" ?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Yes
WoW speak, you wouldn't understand.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:13, Reply)

this can only be a Good Thing for me!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Oh man,
I was in the Crossroads and I climbed up onto the bucket of one of those catapults there and did a /sit

People were cheering in my head.
( Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Oh man that's off the CHAIN!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:18, Reply)

/cheer

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:19, Reply)

/train
( Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:20, Reply)

/facepalm

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:21, Reply)

My recent foray into daringdo involved drinking a pint and a half of Old Rosie last weekend.
I was suprisingly OK afterwards.
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:19, Reply)

It's 'derring-do'.
Just trying to help.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Thank you Monty.

( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I went to a surprisingly violent gig last night.
I have a badly bruised rib now.

This is why I don't like the real world.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Drink a healing elixir

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Probably only had a druid in the pug

( Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:23, Reply)

FFS why doesn't anyone level First Aid anymore????

(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:24, Reply)

They need the cloth to make their wedding suits.
Stupid RP servers.
( Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Anyone good?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Nah, just Wombats.
Hence the surprise at it being so violent.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Well, they are Scousers after all
Thought you had to sell your ticket?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:27, Reply)

She's lucky she wasn't left on bricks with no stereo.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:31, Reply)

No, I had to sell Sabina's ticket.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Ahh, fair enough

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:37, Reply)

They're the ones that sing about the Travel Lodges they've stayed in
at unimaginative tourist destinations, aren't they?
( Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:27, Reply)

All I know is that they once danced to Joy Division

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Hard to imagine a committed mosh, at any rate.

( Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Christ, I need to go to a gig again soon

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Jim Jones Revue, April 14th, is my next one.
I cannot fucking wait.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Sweet, sounds like you'll enjoy that!
I think my next one is either end of May, or beginning of July. I'm still not sure how I'm going to get out of the gig at the end of May though.

My friend booked tickets for us as a surprise, but it's the same day as the Blousie bash, so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Well if I was your age I know which one I'd go to you pillock.

( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

And which would you suggest?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:36, Reply)

*facepalms*
The gig.
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)

I might go to that,
but I might not as I have to be in Stafford a couple of days later.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:39, Reply)

You should come. They are PROPER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I've listened to their album, I liked it but I think they'll be better live
so I am vey tempted. We'll see.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Was it a Semisonic Revival gig? I like Semisonic.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Come on Gonz, it's been 10 years
It's time to Get a Grip.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:28, Reply)

At least it wasn't Toploader.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Wasn't Jamie Oliver the drummer from Toploader?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:30, Reply)

No. No, he wasn't
The guitarist married Gail Porter, mind you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Isn't he the reason she looks like E.T. these days?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I'm not sure we can hold him entirely responsible.
I would, however, cheerfully see him raped to death by a bear for "dancing in the moonlight"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I love that one

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:45, Reply)

we establised years ago where you sit on the barometer of taste, Gonz.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I remember that being released
1st listen - "Hmm, this isn't too bad'
2nd listen - "Actually, I can see this getting annoying in a hurry"
47842467th listen - "OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, WILL YOU JUST STOP PLAYING THIS SONG?! *explodes*"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:45, Reply)

You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I was most entertained by Semisonic at Glastonbury
The drummer also managed to be able to play the keyboard at the same time. This made my brain hurt
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I once 'started on' a chav in Glasgow, late at night. Not my brightest hour.
In my defence, he'd decided to be the hard man by dropping the shoulder into me as I walked past. Full of drink, I stopped and enquired what the fuck he thought he was doing. He swaggered back up to me, and did the whole 'get-in-my-face' situation, where all you can smell is the 59 fags he's smoked since he left his house, 2 minutes down the road.

In doing so, he caught me decently on the nose too. I pushed him back, told him to get fucked, and we both went our seperate ways. I woke up in the morning with a sore nose, and my head asking me 'And at what point was that a good idea?'

Ah well, could have gone a lot worse.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:27, Reply)

If it was in Glasgow, it was a Ned
that was your first mistake ;)

Lucky you didn't get stabbed, to be fair.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Aye, that's a good point!
I was thinking the exact same thing the next morning...

Note to self: Starting fights in Hill Head, mistake!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:31, Reply)

If I had tales of bravado etc
I'd save them for a QOTW response.

You'll be delighted to learn that when I got on the treadmill last night and set the pace, I quickly realised that doing 5k in 25 minutes was absolutely beyond me. I'm lining up excuses based on your superior height and (probable) younger age
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Badgers favourite news quote of the day
As of now XANGO hasn't tapped Charlie to be a spokesperson. Sources connected with the company tell us they are "very nervous" about being associated with the actor.

Oh man Charlie Sheen is a constant source of amusement recently
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 11:57, Reply)

check this out
"So, let me get this straight... If I do loads of bad drugs, then talk as if I am God narrating my own acid trip, the world will love me?
Am I the only person in the world who doesn't see the Charlie Sheen attraction?
Put it this way, dress him in a Primark track-suit, take away his money and put him on Jeremy Kyle, then lets see how people react to him."

that's from one of my mates on his facebook page. I like the guy, but damn, he can't see when someone is fucking hilariously crazy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Sheen would still be hilarious on Jeremy Kyle
With the added attraction that he would probably lamp the snarky cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)

How much coke does Charlie snort?
Enough to kill two and a half men.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I just ordered some t-shirts from
Here. They have Sheen inspired shirts, though I only got the Vatican Assassin one as the rest have a definite shelf life.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:22, Reply)

I wish I could get them in Hoodie form.
Do you know any places I can get some good hoodies?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I now have Bill Oddie, Graeme Garden and Tim Brooke-Taylor on the brain.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Sadly I do not
Sorry.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

I have nothing done anything that comes under the heading of daring or showing bravado
yes, yes they are.

I've had to indulge in a mini-rant about homeopathy at my parents and the parents of my mrs in the past. They aren't new age though, they just don't understand how fucking stupid it is.

see also: astrology, psychics etc.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Yeah well you would say that.
Typical Leo.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:05, Reply)

that elicited a small chuckle

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Which is much better than I was expecting

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)

my brain is fried today
normal service is not underway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I think mine might be too
As a quick scan of the second line of your post returned something about motorway service stations
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:16, Reply)

I'm always telling people off for rudeness.
One day I'll fuck up and do it to a big thug or someone with a blade and THEN that'll teach me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:28, Reply)

they pull a knife
you pull a gun
he schendsch one of yoursch to the hoschpital
you schend one of hisch to the morgue
that'sch the Chicago way
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:32, Reply)

But I'm in Liverpool.
I have a glass jaw and no gun.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

hmmm, can't see any way that you are going to get Capone in that case....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:36, Reply)

I had a close call with a large taxi driver once.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Chicago Schteve
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:36, Reply)

And then, in a perfect example of tempting Fate,
he gets machine gunned on a stairwell.

Pillock.
( Kroney, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)

On an entirely seperate note
I just read this: luvandhat.tumblr.com/post/3761453331/the-word-nom

Discuss.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Pathetic.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I thought you'd like it.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 10 Mar 2011, 12:38, Reply)