Well, the weekend is nearly here.
What are we all doing?

I'm going to stay in and watch Tokyo Gore Police tonight, clean my house tomorrow and then stay over at my Aryan superchild's. Sunday my sister is coming up and we are going either to London Zoo or the Aquarium. This will be the second time my sister and daughter will have met, and the first without 'supervision' so I'm really excited.

Of course what we should really do is take her to the stairwell of a horrfic sink estate to play in the bulldog shit and broken glass following some crackpot notion of social equality, but hey ho.

Alt: who's your favourite relative and why? They don't have to be still alive.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:17, 90 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am in a fantastic mood.
Back in London and the sun is shining, going to see my aunt's new puppy in a sec. Wearing a new pair of trainers that I ordered over Christmas that arrived after I went back to Newcastle, then going into town later to go shopping and have a few pints with my old man round Holborn. Today is a good day.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:24, Reply)

Oh Monty!
You're so cute when you're being sarcastic.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:24, Reply)

Good morning to you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:28, Reply)

*winks*

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:30, Reply)

*wanks*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:31, Reply)

You'd think he was cute
if he was molesting the still-warm corpse of an adorable bunny wabbit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Yeah well!
He's about three steps down from Jeff Bridges on the achievable list.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:40, Reply)

I'm intrigued to know who else is on this list
*produces notepad*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:44, Reply)

You're such a voyeur. *laughs*

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Yeah, yeah
NAMES
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:50, Reply)

I find it hard pick a favourite but my maternal grandfather
(the star of www.b3ta.com/questions/thrownaway/post222104) was a fucking wizard. He looked like Father Christmas, drank and smoked like the Scot he was, and generally had a great time. He was a man of contradictions, though - a heavyweight academic, his love of folk songs led him to believe himself to be 'one of the people' and he spent a great deal of time in dingy pubs where traditional folk singing still went on. This was before the 60s folk revival and the singers were more likely to be workmen than tweedy academics like him.

He compiled the Oxford Book of Ballads and his three volume Burns anthology was his life's work. He thought Dickens was fucking shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:25, Reply)

Studying.
currently working through chemistry, even though I've been studying all day. Stopped for an hour or so then got bored, so hit the books again.

Also, has anybody been watching the coverage of the Japanese Earthquake/Tsunami??
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:26, Reply)

We only get news coverage of any depth if some Britons have died,
so this has barely registered over here. Disgusting, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Labs won't be happy.

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:31, Reply)

there was a set of Tsunami waves that hit Sendai about two hours ago, and they were going at least 2 km inland.
and yes, it is disgusting.
In Aus we hear about most things, but this was live coverage cos the japanese timezone is so close to ours.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:33, Reply)

Don't listen to them.
I've been watching it on the BBC website. very good pictures and film.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Amazing the lengths God will go to
in order to ruin a B3tan's travel plans
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:34, Reply)

I'm rarely happy when any natural disaster kills people
But my first comment to my boss this morning was "Well they'd better tidy up before I get there"...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Rarely?
Which lethal natural disasters have brightened your day?

(This will probably end up being a QOTW question when they eventually exhaust all other options)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:11, Reply)

There was an earthquake in Birmingham once
Not sure if anyone died though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

And the San Andreas fault led to a reasonably decent 1970s disaster movie
which gets bonus points for killing Charlton Heston
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I'm a little dismayed that my first thought was
"I don't remember an earthquake in GTA: San Andreas".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Perfectly understandable
Magnificent game
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

That is insensitive even for you
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-12709598

I'm impressed.

Your weekend plans sound excellent; hoping for a fun day for you all, unspoilt by bad weather, mental mong-eyed women or forrins with flick-knives.

Alt: my Mum. Assuming it has to be one of MY relatives. Otherwise, your Mum.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Fucking hell, I didn't realise it was THAT big.
7th most powerful ever, according to wikipedia.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:37, Reply)

But enough about my cock

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:43, Reply)

Someone had to do it.



(but enough about your cock)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Anyone could've seen it coming



(but enough... etc)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:50, Reply)

This could easily get out of hand
(but enough about my cock)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)

This is actually harder to keep up than I'd expected
(but enough about my cock)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:00, Reply)

You've got a tiny, malformed cock.

(but enough about your cock)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I think you've misunderstood the concept mate
Yes, that's right, I called you "mate". Not only does it imply we're friends but it's COMMON as well.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

You're a cock.


(but enough about how you're a cock)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:21, Reply)

Are you flirting with me?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:23, Reply)

That is amazingly horrific, look at the way it goes over the fields, how it takes just seconds to get from one end to the other....
... think about what kind of speeds require to cover a field that fast, something like a car traveling at 30ish MPH. Look at the traffic outside your house/office, are they going that fast?

Look at the fact that the sludgy rubbal are actually buildings, so that thing has to be at _least_ 3-4 meters high (that's like over twice your height).

Now picture that wall of sludge and buildings coming at you, as long as far as the eye can see, with that mass, and that height.

It's quite awe inspiring when you put it like that. There is also the fact that everyone you know and love are going to get hit by it.

AND, it might delay the Nintendo 3DS, so I'm quite gutted.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Is anyone but me a bit disturbed by this?

(insert 'wink' smiley face here, I refuse to)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

I NO !
Thing is, I've been saving up my pocket money for 2 months now, I've been working every saturday in Dad's shop and although I don't have enough money to get one with a game when it first comes out, I can wait 2 weeks after it comes out and buy that new Zelda game with it and I'll be the coolest kid in the playground.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

I bet lots of people in Japan don't have to go into school today, gawd, they're so lucky.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

My paternal grandad worked down't mills and suffered with a dicky chest caused by gas inhilation from the war.
He was a lovely sweet man, virtually bed ridden and always wheezing. He died when I was in my early twenties and I still miss him now.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Absolutely zero plans, fine by me!
Alt: I only really like my close family, so I'd say the brother closest in age to me, Ben.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:34, Reply)

Please stop this ridiculous charade.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

I am going to see the Battlefield Band, tomorrow in Southampton.
I hope they play The Pompous Trousers.

Alt: My Cousin who runs the roumanian economy or something like that. I believe he sells the Gypos their visas so they can come over here and wash our cars. Anyway he is a great bloke with a super hot wife gypo wife.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Even the second coming of Jimi Hendrix
would not entice me to go out in the Mos Eisley of Hampshire ever again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:42, Reply)

It's alright Monty it is in the university, not in the centre of town.
Anyway, You should go to Howletts Zoo near Canterbury, not Regents Park. Much better place all round.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Thanks for the tip, noted for future reference.
I have to return the Uberchild by 4pm so not this time, though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Working, trying to sleep and possibly deflowering my new beautiful tea set.
If the weather's nice tomorrow I may possibly go for a walk with a Canadian.
( wanderlust, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:37, Reply)

What are you doing up, you spanner?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:44, Reply)

I went to bed early, so I woke up early.
I'm not actually up, only awake so it's fine.
( wanderlust, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Are Canadians good for walking?

( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:51, Reply)

This one possibly not, as he lives in his own world.
But he is one of the most wonderful people I have ever met so can stroll along at his own pace as much as he likes.
( wanderlust, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)

That's just what they'll do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:58, Reply)

One of these days they'll pour maple syrup all over you.

( wanderlust, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:00, Reply)

And one of these days.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:00, Reply)

I've just found one of Ms Foxtrot's hairs in my necklace

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:47, Reply)

The woman's wearing your jewellery now.
It's a wonder you still stay with her.
( girlinthehole, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Technically I'm wearing her jewellery
Yes, yes, I know
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:53, Reply)

sigh
jewellery thong
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Never again

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

+she said

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Well, she's only human

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Oh and I'm off to the Horse & Groom in Shoreditch tomorrow.
To both go to my mate's new club night, and boot as many hipsters in the head that I can.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:47, Reply)

is it odd that I actually quite liked the look of Shoreditch?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:51, Reply)

The two occasions upon which I have bought property
have both been in the vicinity so it's not odd to me. Plus all the wankers provide me with fodder for my favourite hobby, mockery.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:59, Reply)

It's actually quite a nice place - lots of old converted
warehouses, tenement streets, terraced houses etc. Only most of the people that frequent it are wankers.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Fucking fixie-riding hipster scumcunts

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

My favourite band.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I heard they played a gig to more than four people
They've totally $old out.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Ah man I HATE them now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Haha that place is a fucking nightmare.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 8:51, Reply)

I have a poker night this weekend
in which I shall lose with good grace, since I am shit at live poker.

alt: technically I suppose my brother since I hang around with him a lot, but I do like my Aunt, who was an English teacher for 30-odd years and is tremendously enthusiastic about everything.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Tonight I shall be hemming curtains
tomorrow I will be buying a Birthday present and a card for my Dad, then lunch at Smiths of Smithfield.

My favourite relative is my paternal Grandma; smoker, drinker, wicked sense of humour and a pragmatist like me to boot. She's a hoot.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:07, Reply)

I nearly texted you yesterday.
Glad you're still alive, old boy. Smiths is fucking GREAT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Salutations! I've been busy with work and on the down low
due to personal websites temporarily blocked for a while.

How's it all going with you?

Edit: You should text me, your picture in my phonebook is Bowie from Labyrinth.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Hahahahaha
I'm OK - drinking, please.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Of course
Also, did I spy a Star Wars reference further up the page? Most unlike you!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

I NO RITE?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Actually, what Monty said.
I was walking past where you live and my loins burned a little.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

He swears that's cleared up now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

His STIs have made a fallout zone around him?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Should have come and said hi!
I'm always free and easy (hence the two comments above).
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

I was tired :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

This evening
I will be converting a Progress DB from Type I storage to Type II storage with fixed extents. I know you are all jealous of my rock and roll lifestyle. It may snow up here tonight so I'm hoping it does lots so we can go sledging tomorrow

Alt:
Either my Dad or my Grandad (Dad's dad). My Dad has exactly my sense of humour and my Grandad (RIP) was a little tiny bloke who loved drawing and reading, playing chess with me, etc.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Tonight, Monty
I shall be taking my maternal grandfather out for a meal, as he usually visits my folks to be fed on a Friday and they're in Thailand for a month. He rocks, he's 93 and still has all his mental faculties, though he's gone a bit deaf and steadfastly holds on to that charming tradition of calling black people 'Darkies' (because "that's what we always used to call them").

Tomorrow I'm going out for drinks with some friends, and Sunday I'm having some other friends over to mine for food, drink and games.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)

He sounds great.
The grandfather of my pal 'The Yeti' was deported from New Zealand for running a brothel when he was 84.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Yeti was my nickname at college

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:19, Reply)

He really is great
Gentle, generous, and also a brilliant artist (watercolour landscapes). He was in the Navy too, and is part of the reason I nearly joined after university.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

...that, and the massive gayness.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Well I was going to apply to be a submariner.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

I'm doing shit all
yay, it's fun to be me. I might get a haircut, and do some gardening if the weather stays nice.

Probably my maternal grandfather. He's going deaf and blind and getting a bit forgetful, but he has a filthy sense of humour and gives amazing granddad hugs. And he can also whistle and sing amazingly; he used to be in the cathedral choir.
(berk, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)

I miss my grandad.
My mother's dad died three years ago, but he was lovely. And my other grandad lives on the other side of Australia.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:02, Reply)