Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've just come into some stupid money, something like £100b or whatever, and I'm giving you all £1m each, I want that back in exactly one year's time, if you don't give it back you have to kill everyone you love (who I don't love).What are you going to do with the money?
//edit//
Ok, the killing thing is silly. Let's say you don't have the money at the end of the year, but have bought assets, they get turned over to me, 100% of them, no matter what their value is... so you buy a £1m property that goes up to £1.2m, I get the whole property, you get nothing.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:21,
151 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
buy and sell drugs(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:22,
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Purchase MontyGrind down to powder and re-sell on the streets for massive profits
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:26,
Reply)
Haha!Next time I see him I'm going to sniff his armpit and see if I get high.
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girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:30,
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damaged your nose that badly eh?(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:48,
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I was just thinking about changing my answer to that(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:23,
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Have you arrested.(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:23,
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do you remember that statisticsomething like 98% of hedge fund workers have no idea why they are called hedge funds.
one of them thought it was something to do with some jewish dude.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:32,
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Why are they called hedge funds?I have no idea. This does not make me a hedge fund worker.
(, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:34, Reply)
The phrase "to hedge"Has been around for hundreds of years to signify taking a position of least danger... So Hedge Funds are essentially a way of offsetting the potential danger of a stock market price change i.e. if you place a bet at 5/1 you get that price even if the odds go up or down...
To back track a bit further "Hedge" as in a surround of a field was used to limit the size of the field and a Hedged fund limits the risk of the fund.
(, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:40, Reply)
Informative reply is interesting!Cheers for that Mr DooDahBand
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:43,
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This reply works for every post on here(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:45,
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To Hedge your Boobs Is an Olde Engerlish Phrase whereby the wenches of the day would entice innocent young, but well to do, men by enhancing their god given gifts with a trimming of finest French lace creating an effect not dissimilar to a picket fence surrounding a small hillock. This would tighten the aformentioned young mans trousers and loosen his purse.
(, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)
Sensible answerInvest it into a 1 year highest rate bond and keep the interest at the end of the year
No sensible answer
GAMBLE!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:25,
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With £1 million you can buy some new friends(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:27,
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I'm only 27 years old =(((
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:28,
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Hey, they were your rules man(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:29,
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BACK OF THE NET, CLAUSES FOR THE WIN, "(who I don't love)", BO-YA-KA-SHA(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:34,
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I'd be quite gutted if I died, which is basicly the same thing.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:38,
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hire a team of discreet military men to kidnap you and then I'll buy a lovely house and build you your own roomI'd buy lots of toys we could play with, but never let you out of the house
I'd buy a babysitter/freelance black ops person to watch you while I was gone for the day
oh what fun we'd have!
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:29,
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Then you break his ankles until he writes you a book?(
Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:30,
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Just read the synopsisChopiing it off with an axe is worse :/
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Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:34,
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+ serving him a cake with his thumb on the top(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:35,
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Why would anyone want to break my ankles? (
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:37,
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To make you write another book!Keep up!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:37,
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You threatened everyone I love(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:37,
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Not really, not _everyone_, I'm sure we love some nutreal people. and you don't have to take up the deal.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:40,
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Hire my own militiaand seize power in some shitty African country. Rule with an iron fist, enslave the population and work them to death building a massive impregnable military compound. Buy a dirty bomb from a former Soviet Bloc country and begin taking over the surrounding countries one at a time, creating a brutally unfair despotic regime. Just for the lolz, you understand.
Something like that.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:31,
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I think many people got there first(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:32,
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I'm not saying it's an original idea.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:32,
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I think its the best so farKristine's was fairly good though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:33,
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the point is, he won't be able to make me kill my loved onesbut man, think how much fun it would be!
like that movie Toy!
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:34,
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*nods*Are you in? I need people of your calibre - people who can think on their feet without getting bogged down by petty morals.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:34,
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Don't bother recruiting me.I can't even remember to put oil in a car.
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girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:35,
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The only morals on here that get discussedgrow under trees
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:35,
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look, I'm not saying I like the idea, but most people will do anything for moneyhell, sometimes when I'm hungover I could punch a 5 year old for a pepsi
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:36,
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Never played it.I played 'Escape from Colditz' relentlessly though.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:38,
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Did you ever manage to finish a game?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:39,
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naa, he was always the guards(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:50,
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best game everRisk isn't far behind
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:43,
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Somehow I have obtained three copies of RiskLord of the Rings (not bad at all), Transformers (shit cash-in) and the original, which is still enormously playable. My quest to take and hold Asia throughout continues. Fruitlessly.
(, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:55, Reply)
Jimi Hendrix played Risk all the timewhen he was living with Chas Chandler of The Animals.
FACT.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:39,
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Oh god, I need to buy Key to the Kingdom.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:40,
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I can't remember where you live =((
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:46,
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'cus you're ev-ry where too me, and when I close my eyes, it's you I see. (
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:50,
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This is going to bug the fuck out of meWho's this song by please?
(, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:57, Reply)
Michelle Branch =)(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:01,
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who MARTIN, 39, BOTTOM INSPECTOR FROM LUDLOW?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:48,
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The bottom inspector part I was expectingbut I'm not having you claim I'm older than you. That's not on.
(, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)
"so you buy a £1m property that goes up to £1.2m, I get the whole property, you get nothing"this is the legal definition of marriage, isn't it, gonz?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:31,
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haha!You bitter and twisted woman you
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:32,
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well not quiteas the woman, i would be the beneficiary!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:33,
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only guaranteed if you have his child(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:36,
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I think Swipey would be reluctantUnless you mentioned that the money she'd receive would be tax-free
(, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:42, Reply)
I'm going to invest it all in Gonzalicious Pugs and Sushi Inc.It literally cannot fail.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:33,
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I'd buy Monty loads of pairs of slippers with my Gonz-o-loan as well.*Voms*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:41,
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That would be fantastic.I'd love that.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:44,
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I'd spend my days listening to The Wurzels and drinking the profits.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:48,
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While I make patchwork cushions and invent new curry recipes.(
girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:57,
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Can I have one of your patchwork cushions for my kennel?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:01,
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Course you can petal.I'll do some sort of doggie applique design on it too.
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girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:17,
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TERRIBLY IMPORTANT CRICKET UPDATENew Zealand have just been cleaned up for 217. With a top four of Tharanga, Dilshan, Sangakkara and Jayawardene you'd be prepared to put an obscene amount of money on Sri Lanka winning this one. Say, a million pounds. Gonz, you can have the profit, but I'm keeping the pound I get back from Bartleby.
(, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:48, Reply)
It can't be long till the county season starts.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:49,
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CRICKET IS FUCKING SHIT(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:49,
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I agree completelyHowever, I put a bet on each of the 4 quarter finals and New Fucking Zealand were the only ones to fuck things up.
(, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:13, Reply)
So, by your edit, I'll be no worse off than I was before.AND I get to have an amazing year doing awesome things?
Wow, that's awful sweet of you, Gonz.
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:48,
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Well, you could have the year off, or you could try and double it and have a lifetime off.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:53,
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I reckon I'd finish my books that I've started. Hire someone to edit and critique and help me finish them.
I'm not smart enough to know how to double that kind of money.
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:59,
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I'm guessing your critique would be"fucking shit"
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:03,
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Depends whether it is or not.Firm but fair, me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:04,
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c'monit's me we're talking about here, it's not going to be some groundbreaking thing that will make everyone sit back and think "wow, that girl, she's really something"
it's girly, and sex, and I don't know much about grammar and don't know anything about punctuation or sentence structure so, it's a bit shit.
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:16,
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I am happy to look over your work if you want me to.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:35,
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Reads:Kristine needs someone to help her read.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:02,
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I am from Virginia, after all.This is also my assistant reading things out to me and typing my reply.
Brenda says hello.
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Lisette von Falcon, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:04,
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Is it like this?www.youtube.com/watch?v=B8yb32iX9O4
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:07,
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I would seriously like to see you get that money back off meI would go into work the day it was due as well to make sure I was good and angry
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 13:57,
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I had a retard caller today on a par with yours.When I said the name of the firm this Northern spastic woman kept bellowing 'WHO? WHO, LOVE?' and 'WHAT DO YOU DO? WHAT DO YOU DO?'
When I explained, she wanted to know why I'd called her. I had to point out that she'd called me. Eventually she said 'OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE' and hung up.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:01,
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it's for situations like thatthat you need to be able to discharge a massive amount of electricity down the phone line.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:14,
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Or some kind of sharpened needle(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:15,
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haha I think you may have the edge slightly on that one(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:15,
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those irish cuntsif it's not Bono being his normal cunty self then the guitarist is making nuisance phone calls...
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:17,
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Haha well played.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:27,
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some foreign sounding tool has just called my mobile three times looking for "tom"he is not getting that he HAS THE WRONG NUMBER.
oh now he's left a vm. despite the fact that my vm SAYS MY NAME so clearly I AM NOT TOM AND HE STILL HAS THE WRONG FUCKING NUMBER.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:33,
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If you fancy, I wanna cook tonight, sweet potato chips with chorizo kieves.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:04,
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*invites self round*I love sweet potato and I love chorizo
(awaits strikethrough)
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:05,
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:08,
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*CLICK*I fucking love this! Well done Gonz
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:09,
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Oh man that sounds awesome.Stick it on coll3ctive when you're done.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:13,
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Ok I need to go swimming so actually (for once) a late tea would be good if you're ok with that?(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:15,
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Brillient =D(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:40,
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omgi just tried the rice pots at itsu, AMAZING. total new obsession. sticky brown rice and lots of fresh veg in thai sauce. i am in love.
also went and bought some obscene easter eggs at hotel chocolat for various friends and family, although even i resisted the £65 "ostrich egg" on the basis that i don't want to give anyone diabetes for easter. this has been a good lunch time.
oh, what, the question? i answered that up there ^^
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:29,
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the rice thing sounds good(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:31,
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it's lush. they also do fish and meat ones, for those of you who swing that way!i love itsu because it's low calorie (well mostly, that rice thing was about 480, but that's all i've had today, so that's ok!) and low fat and lots of veggies - but mostly because the enormous pots appeal greatly to my sense of greed.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:32,
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that sort of thing is what is missing from Exeterit's getting better, but a lot of the interesting food places don't last long.
One of the best restaurants in town was a Russian place, with angry hot russian waitresses, and it closed down a while back for lack of interest. Fucking heathens around here.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:34,
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i know itsu is just a chainbut i do really like it.
where did the hot russian waitresses go?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:38,
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nothing wrong with chains if they are goodnot sure. back home perhaps.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:42,
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I've just eaten a half family bag of Haribo Golden bears.I win the internet.
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girlinthehole, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:34,
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I'm eating a clementine(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:35,
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i have hotel chocolat salted caramel chocolate puddleswhich should be fucking illegal
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:37,
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How much are they?I walk past a Hotel Chocolat every day
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:42,
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the chocolate buttons? £5 a bagthe easter eggs? about £25 - £65 depending on which one you get.
go in. they give you free chocolate. my colleague goes in daily for the free sample!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:43,
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HmmA good plan I think. Not really going to help the whole "remove blubber" kick I'm on though
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:44,
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I don't know,I bet 25 quids worth of easter egg contains less calories than 25 quids worth of chips.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:49,
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They tried to headhunt me once.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 15:02,
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There's a 70's sitcom hiding here somewhere(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Mar 2011, 14:43,
Reply)
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