I have learnt this morning
that it is OK in my company to threaten me with physical violence (for the third time in a week) at the top of your voice with your face rammed into mine, in front of the managing director: it's fine. You will have absolutely no comeback from that whatsoever.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:17, 9 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Maybe you can do the same to him
and expect the same consequences?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I expect this is probably the case.
I am, however, a civilised man who believes firmly in reasoned argument as a way to resolve dispute. As soon as you raise your voice/lose your temper, you have lost - that's how I was raised.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Kick him in the cunt at lunchtime

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:21, Reply)

But then
how are you going to dominate the world, if you can't dominate your office?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:23, Reply)

With the use of ninja, of course.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Of course
I had forgotten the ninja.

Clearly, you're meant to be our leader.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I prefer this line of argument myself
The problem is that if the other person does not respect it, they're unaware that they've lost, and will probably persist.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:26, Reply)

This is what is happening here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:27, Reply)

I am going to make the massive assumptive leap that logic and reason on your part have failed
It's time to get stabby
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Industrial Tribunal
solve your money problems via the medium of compensation!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:35, Reply)

D:

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:19, Reply)

what does this smiley actually mean?
horror? shock? glee?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Troll

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:30, Reply)

0/10
Hi Darth, how are you today?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Morning Rory,
Very well thank you. And your good self?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Shit's goin down
I have 24 census forms to fill in tres rapidement, I shouldn't be dicking here really
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Seeing as how I have no idea what you do for a living,
I choose to believe that you're running a halfway house for illegal immigrants or brothel and have to fill out census forms for all of your charges due to their lack of English/motor functions/safety crayons
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:51, Reply)

His real name is Nicolas van Hoogstraaten.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:57, Reply)

I am not Googling that name
Not after you introduced me to that Moser woman
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:01, Reply)

He's a slum landlord, basically. An all round piece of shit.
Ended up in prison for the murder of his business partner, then got released on a technicality a bit later. One of the richest men in the country.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Fuck
If I'd known Rory was a loaded murderer I'd probably have been nicer to him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:07, Reply)

rory used it on me yesterday
i was unclear as to his intentions.

now i know.

thanks rory. thanks a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:41, Reply)

(")(O.O)(")

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Invent your own
Something involving a massive pile of cash, or possibly some excessively large breasts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:52, Reply)

( £ ) ( £ )

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Excellent work

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:01, Reply)

It means "my face is on upside down".

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Dismay I suppose
d-(^.^)z
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:32, Reply)

excessive ascii emoticons
are shit, and you must now leave the internet.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:37, Reply)

( . ) ( . )

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:44, Reply)

WTF?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:19, Reply)

You should
have cunted them in the fuck.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Bollocks to that
*sends boys round*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:20, Reply)

As much as I'm sure Monty would appreciate a blow job
It's hardly appropriate in the workplace.

Well, except for you, obviously...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:22, Reply)

effeminate mincing men will not help here

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I dunno.
If they flap hard enough they might *just* manage to give him a nosebleed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:23, Reply)

I can see them now, rocking up in the queermobile and piling out dressed in pink tutu's

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Running around in circles, screaming "bitch" in high pitched voices...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)

8/10

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:29, Reply)

You said
marking posts was shit beakering?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I can't get enough of arbitrary scoring
I'm so complicated
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:35, Reply)

What happened
Did you vomit on someones slippers?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Blimey...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Is there an HR department?
You could be a cunt and demand to file a report.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:25, Reply)

No there isn't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:26, Reply)

I imagine it's a put up or shut up scenario

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Get a restraining order served on him.
along the lines of 'You must not come within two feet of Monty Boyce's face, unless you are offering him MASSIVE DRUGS'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:29, Reply)

If there is no HR
then follow the fucker out of the office at lunchtime and give him a dry slap.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Offer him your hand
smooth or furry?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Or knock the cunt out.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Monty is a refined fellow, he does not engage in backstreet fisticuffs with ruffians
Plus he is, by his own admission, soft as shite
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:31, Reply)

This rapscallion sounds like a bully
and so will likely resile from physical confrontation.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:33, Reply)

A good point, esteemed colleague
Perhaps the impending threat of a spot of Queensbury rules will see him suitably afeart to offer retraction of his previous sentiments.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:38, Reply)

He put someone into a coma last year.
The only reason he is not in prison is that the chap was an illegal immigrant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Surely if he has previous form in the field of physical intimidation
there must be some recourse you can take along the lines of "get this psychotic cunt out of my face"?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:54, Reply)

This would be a good reason not to get involved in fisticuffs, I suspect.
But still, whether the person was an illegal forrin or not... WTF? Is it a case of two illegalities cancel each other out or something?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:55, Reply)

My guess would be that once the chap woke up he decided not to press charges
as he'd have been flung into France via trebuchet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:08, Reply)

^ yup

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

The immigrant
was probably fucking asking for it.

Coming over here falling on our tattooed fists.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

This made me laugh a lot

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:26, Reply)

omg
poor monty.

want me to get them for you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Yes please.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)