what a gorgeous day
Too good to be sat in a train.

What else is today too good for?

Alt - too nice for an alt. If you really want one - make it yourself
(CheatingRabbit, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:01, 100 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sitting inside watchingthe racing
which is what I'm doing right now.

My brother in law came over today to cut back the triffids in my front garden, and I washed my windows and my front door, and swept my driveway. Very exciting way to spend an afternoon, but at least I was outside in the sunshine. and now my house doesn't look like a family of pikeys lives there.

Alt: no, but I understand game is quite hard to get right. In other partridge-related news, have it!

EDIT: you ninja'd! Now it looks like I'm talking about partridges for no reason whatsoever.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:06, Reply)

guilty as charged
I thought that talking about partridge was a bit niche. And would draw replies like "I like breasts"

I can't be bothered with racing too many mccirricks involved.

Good work on de-pikeying your house - just in time to welxome the scouser into the family, thne house prices will plummet
(CheatingRabbit, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:13, Reply)

^this

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Too good to be sitting inside glued to internet commentary of a football match
We've been behind twice, we're ahead now, I'm desperate for a pee but I can't leave it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:38, Reply)

City went 1-0 and are now 4-1 down.
Football is bent.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:40, Reply)

YEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!
Held on for the win!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Hodgson is working wonders for your lot.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:59, Reply)

I think so
we were a bit our old bad selves first half - a combination of them really wanting it after last week and us really "after the lord mayors show" following last week. But he did seem to sort us out at halftime.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:14, Reply)

I hope some of you followed my National tips from Friday.
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1157243

Ballabriggs.

And yes, I did back it!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Jammy git
So did the Baggies commentator.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Too nice
To be stuck at work in my windowless room.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Today is too good to tidy the abysmal tip I made of my flat last night
I had a lovely evening yesterday, had a glorious day today and I shall shortly be getting ready to go out for what I hope will be another lovely evening tonight.
The mess, the laundry and the washing up can all fuck right off.
(berk, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:49, Reply)

I won't ask what you were doing to create such a tip.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Getting ready
and not having time to do put sort out the pile of dirty laundry or the washing up.
I did tidy up the trail of discarded/thrown clothes from when we got in last night. Well, by 'tidy' I mean 'condensed them in to a bigger pile and chucked them in my bedroom'.
(berk, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Where are you going this evening?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Pub.
I'm meeting his friends. I have a cold, a planet-sized spot on my face and I look like shit.
Argh.
(berk, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:02, Reply)

I'm sure you look grand
Are you having a good time now?
3257/4000
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:03, Reply)

I look dreadful
stupid complexion is stupid. I'll just wear a low cut top and then he won't look at my face, I'm sure it'll be fine. And yes, a good time is being by all I believe.
(berk, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Yeah tits out always wins men over
Glad to hear it pal!!!
3276/4000
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:07, Reply)

I'm sure you'll be fine.
Just dazzle them with your ready wit and your sparkling repartee.

Either that, or use make up to disguise your giant zit.

*Buys shares in Avon*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:05, Reply)

Git.
*feels horribly selfconscious*
(berk, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Sorry.
*Sends trowel to apologise*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:08, Reply)

You're not helping.

(berk, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Sorry berk.
You'll be fine. It's a beautiful evening, go and have a few drinks and meet his friends.

You'll have a great time!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:11, Reply)

But I am all craterfaced and 'orrible :(

(berk, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:15, Reply)

I'm sure you've nothing to worry about.
Why not have a joint and cheer yourself up?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Because I don't want to be off my face the first time I meet his mates?

(berk, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:21, Reply)

You may have a point.
Why time are you going out?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:25, Reply)

umm
POIDH

Is the only way to judge...


Oh and he likes you... Spots and all
(CheatingRabbit, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:21, Reply)

last tango in paris
Perchance?
(CheatingRabbit, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:09, Reply)

I have never seen it...

(berk, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Me neither.
I'll bet it is about the time Darth went on the Eurostar.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:16, Reply)

actually Last tango in Paris
Isn't the correct film ( this is one with butter used as lube)

I am thinking of the film with sex scene, where the entire room ends up trashed...
(CheatingRabbit, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:18, Reply)

I'm going to guess at 'The Tall Guy'
... always did have a bit of a thing about Emma ...
Not sure about the butter though. Maybe different film then?
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:20, Reply)

The tall guy
Is about the right vintage and genre.

But ity certainly isn't LTIP, which is much darker
(CheatingRabbit, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:45, Reply)

writing this fucking assignment 3201/4000 done.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Working but only....
10 mins left WOOOOAHOOOOO

Then I am buying booze and sitting outside drinking it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Wino.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:51, Reply)

says mr ciderliver himself

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:52, Reply)

I retract my earlier comment.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 16:55, Reply)

I got a lovely message from an old boyfriend on Faceybook asking me how I was.
He'd been thinking of me : )
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Go Blousie!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:26, Reply)

Innit!
It kind of makes up for him being a cunt when I knew him.
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Did he treat you badly? :(

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Nah! not really.
Just lied to me.
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:28, Reply)

That isn't a sign you're being treated well.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:29, Reply)

He was a lot younger than me and I've forgiven him over time.

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Is he no longer a lot younger than you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:32, Reply)

Pfft! You know what I mean.
Anyway it's nice to think that someone somewhere in the world is thinking about me.

And I shaved 30 seconds off my 200m rowing time. Woo!
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:35, Reply)

30 seconds off my 200m rowing time

So are you going to meet him for a catch up?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:49, Reply)

He's happily married and living in Sweden.

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:02, Reply)

Did you go out with Steve McClaren?
(Please note I've got no idea how old (or young) Mr McClaren is).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:10, Reply)

Wut?

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:12, Reply)

My mistake, the former England manager went to manage to Danish club.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:17, Reply)

Football joke......does not compute....
Error message......error message.....
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:23, Reply)

Had a great day so far
Did 3 loads of washing and dried them out on my insanely hot balcony in record time, went for a 7 mile walk in the woods with G/F, Emily and the loony Jack Russel, finishing with a very cold San Miguel in the local pub.
BBQ tonight with home made burgers and lamb Koftas.
Tomorrow I'll be playing guitar with Pooflake and the rest of 'Twang club'* then a mahoosive pork roast and a sunday afternoon snooze.
Life is good.


* First rule of twang club - you do not talk about twang club etc.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 17:52, Reply)

Sounds fantastic.
You win the internet.
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:03, Reply)

Well I went to BBQ
Ate loads of Homemade chilli beef burgers, drank loads of ale and then my horse come second in the GN but no matter as I had an each way bet, I spent my massive £6 winnings on a box of chocs for the missus so you never know she might smile tonight. Now both kids and the wife are fast asleep on the sofas leaving me a few minutes of Phil time.
( Peej, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:31, Reply)

Is the wife a miserable bugger or just post natal probs?

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:38, Reply)

Generally just a bit of a miserable bugger
marriage will do that to you I guess.
( Peej, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:42, Reply)

Oh well! at least she's hot.

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 18:51, Reply)

I think so.
On an unrelated note I just found an eyebrow bar and thought i'd see if my eyebrow holes have healed over in the 5 years since I last wore one. They haven't.
( Peej, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:13, Reply)

How long did you have the peircings in for?
I'm debating whether to try and re-do my nipple peircings but I only had them for over a year.
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:24, Reply)

Why not get another tattoo?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:29, Reply)

I will do eventually.
When I've decided what I want.
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:31, Reply)

Where on your body would you have you next tatt?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:33, Reply)

Dunno! leg probably.
Or lower arm.

Suggestions?
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:34, Reply)

For where or what you should have done?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:36, Reply)

What shall I have done?

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:36, Reply)

I shall think, and Google, and report back.
Get This.


( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:38, Reply)

Shouldn't that be dick kicker?

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:55, Reply)

Well get dick kicker on your leg
And cunt puncher on your arm.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:56, Reply)

I was after something a bit more deep and meaningful.

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:57, Reply)

You could get Lampito to translate it into Latin

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 20:25, Reply)

Cuntus Punchus.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 20:33, Reply)

Untcay Uncherpay

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 20:40, Reply)

Thats latin for punt puncher
as any fule kno
( Peej, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 20:57, Reply)

I'm sure I don't know WHAT you're talking about

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:40, Reply)

THIS SIDE UP
USE NO HOOKS
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Hmmm no idea I got them after I was 16 but they have been out for at least 5 years
so no more than 8 years but probably less.

Tattoo wise I think you should get a massive CDC then tell people it's a christian fish that went wrong, if they ask if you are Christian reply that you are Jewish and refuse to explain.
( Peej, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:52, Reply)

I don't want to end up on one of those dodgy tattoo websites thankyouverymuch.

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 19:56, Reply)

I'm too good to get up early to go see a live broadcast of Fighting Talk
but I'm glad I did because I got a hug and a kiss from Colin Murray and he told me he loves my haircut. Twice. *Sharon fucking Gless*
Then we had drinkies in my folks' garden and now I'm on a date. On the sofa. OT-ing. I think I've got sunstroke.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:08, Reply)

Did you not use your parasol hon?

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:13, Reply)

I had on a BIG brimmed hat that I use at my mum's.
I wasn't expecting summer to arrive today.
I also had a lovely little natter with a West Highland Terrier neighbour of my parents'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:23, Reply)

I've been on the sunbed today : /
I know I'll end up like a prune by the time I'm 60 but I want to brown up a bit before I go on holiday otherwise I know I'll burn. *remembers Kos*

My cat George had a fight with Biscuit and Benji today. George is well ard.
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:25, Reply)

Don't do it!
There's always sunscreen on holiday. That stops burning too.

Is Gilbert behaving now?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:42, Reply)

I sweat too much for it to stay on properly.
Gilbert is a gannet. The greedy fecker.
( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:44, Reply)

I love me some fighting talk
I grab the podcast and listen in the gym on a Sunday morning.

I see Everton did well today.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Oh aye, 3-0 wasn't it?
My dad and nephew came home very happy.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:43, Reply)

bbq with friends
I am now full of meat and (for those of you who love innuendo) cream
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:14, Reply)

I'm watching Mamma Mia.
It's the best fucking thing ever.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:15, Reply)

really?
I assumed it would be shit
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:17, Reply)

you assume correctly

( Peej, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:20, Reply)

It didn't look that great to me and I love a bit of camp.

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:21, Reply)

it is agony

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:22, Reply)

I want to shove a toilet brush down Piers Brosnan's throat to give it a good clean.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:44, Reply)

What has James Bond done to annoy you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:45, Reply)

My mother's just about alive and she said, "Do you want the citrus fruit? Because I gotta fuckload of it."
I said, "I don't want no citrus fruit, it makes my hair go funny!" She said, "Are you a serial killer?" I said, "No! I'm not a fuckin' serial killer!" I said, "I ain't no serial killer. I killed a bunch of people but they were one-offs, there was no series." "How many people you kill?" she say. I say, "I don't know, 210? 215? I lost count! I don't like countin'!" She said, "Where did you put the bodies?" I said, "I just let them go - released 'em into the wild."

So one guy that I killed came up to my house the next day, he said "What the fuck?" I said, "Quit whinin'! Back in my day we didn't whine, we didn't get nothin' from whinin'."

I went back down to the System office and I said, "Why are they all whinin'? Every fucker's whinin' out here. What's goin' on with the systems?" and he says "Hey, I don't know nothin'!" I said, "You know somethin'! You gotta know somethin'!" and he said, "No, I don't know nothin'!" I said "How'd you get this job?" and he said, "I was born into it!" I says "When were you born?" and he says, "About 25 minutes ago." I says "OK! I'm gonna give you to the count of fifty-four! And I want you to learn somethin'!" So I counted to fifty-four, all the numbers were there, one two three four five six seven eight nine, all the way to fifty-four. And by fifty-four I said, "You motherfucker! You better have motherfuckin' learnt somethin', dicksucker!" and he said "I have." He looked in the dictionary, and looked up a word. I can't remember what the word was, but I said "Good!" He said, "Have you ever killed anyone?" I said "Shut up! I don't need your accusations around here, I gotta lot of things to do, I got Jeopardy to watch and I gotta go to my job!"

My job's quite an interesting job, not quite as interesting as his job because he's part of the System. No, my job's part of the Corporation. I went to the boss of my Corporation, I said "Hey boss! What gives?" and he said "I dunno! I don't know nothin'!" I said, "Oh, not this again. Not this again!" I started countin', and by god, by fifty-four he knew somethin', and he said "I know loads of stuff. Ask me anythin'," and I forgot was I was gonna ask him, but I certainly did ask him somethin'.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:32, Reply)

Daft bugger!

( girlinthehole, Sat 9 Apr 2011, 21:35, Reply)