*Something about micro orgasms and second comings in the same post*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:07, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

God.
I read that over about three times before posting and I STILL missed that?

Fail.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:11, Reply)

You must have been thinking about Mary Magdelene at the time, old boy.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

When I was little I remarked to my parents something about God's name being Peter.
I had misheard the bit at the end of the C of E service as 'Thanks, Peter God'. I am faintly embarrassed about this now, well over 30 years later.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Aw! how sweet.

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I wouldn't worry,
my sister has previously asked, in all seriousness, whether the Pope was Catholic and whether Jesus was a Jew.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:21, Reply)

I thought the hymn Lord of the Dance
was "I am the Lord of the dance settee".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

It is, though, right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I'm sticking with it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Flatley my dear, I don't Riverdance

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Please die.


Thanks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Shan't
There's no shame in Partridge
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:43, Reply)

We've had this conversation before, I know,
but I have no idea why quoting Partridge is fine by me - but pretty much anything else ever (even or perhaps especially things I like) I find excruciating?

It's fucking weird.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:46, Reply)

My theory would be enormously simple:
Partridge is fucking funny. But I would say the same of Python, and I'm willing to bet that hearing "Ni!" got old for you a long time ago.

I'm pretty bored of it too now actually
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:49, Reply)

It certainly did. Before my 10th birthday in 1983.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:50, Reply)

That's the day Return of the Jedi was released in Denmark and Sweden
I can see why your interest would have shifted
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:53, Reply)

I was born in 1983
LOL
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:04, Reply)

*stony completely devoid of LOL face*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:37, Reply)

OH MY FUCKING CHRIST
Get your shit dancing humour off my internet. Take it to the Glee forums, they'll lap it up.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:46, Reply)

That's actually not a bad idea
Amongst a forum populated entirely by Gleeks, I'd be some kind of Chuck Norris alpha-male in extremis type.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Chuck Norris Rob Halford
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Actually, in Glee forums I would be considered a troll
For offering the candid opinion that this series has been shite
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:54, Reply)

For offering the candid opinion that this series has been shite

+ Because of my face.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:00, Reply)

That too
Took the Beeb fucking hours in makeup to classify me as "pre-watershed"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:03, Reply)

As the missus likes it, I watch this programme.
A lot of the time I find it tolerable, if horribly twee. Last night's episode, however, was fucking excruciating.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I concur
How on earth is it possible to take a song like Kiss and make it so utterly unsexy? That takes skill
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Because you can't polish a turd?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Prince managed it.

( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Prefer Age of Chance's version, myself.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:06, Reply)

I prefer my senile 85-year old gran's version of it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:07, Reply)

*shakes hands*
Prince was and is utterly shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:06, Reply)

I quite agree, I have no time for the arrogant little bellend
I do like that one song, however. The Glee version made Prince look like a gosh-darned genius by comparison
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Matthew Morrison
makes me wince every time I see his stupid, gurning face.

Every time the camera pans over him during a song and he's snapping his fingers and acting as though he's "feeling" the music, I want to put my fist through the television.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:11, Reply)

The man is a huge name on Broadway
I think he believes he's bringing musicals to the masses. Which would be fine, if he wasn't doing it in such a fucking cringeworthy way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Well I wish he wouldn't
I've seen musicals before and Broadway can fucking keep them.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Chicago is fucking brilliant
The Rocky Horror Show, which they based an entire ill-advised episode on, is not
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:39, Reply)

No it is not.

( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Yes it is
(This could go on a while)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:41, Reply)

A dwarf with Mark Lamarr's hair and a Silk Cut themed suit.
The missus said that Prince's sexuality was "questionable". I responded "questionable how?"

It seems pretty fucking clear cut to me.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:08, Reply)

If only there was some puerile comedy forum where we could ridicule you forever for that...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Thank God* there isn't.


*or 'Pete' as I call him
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Certainly makes the Lord's Prayer wank considerably gayer

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Is Pete even mentioned in the LP?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I think he's referred to as 'Harold' in that.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:37, Reply)

No, but they did a special 12" where he does.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:37, Reply)

It was on the B side.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Um... you're really asking the wrong person mate
I haven't recited the whole thing in a good while (quick finisher, see). I suppose that given it starts "our father" the gender of the wank-recipient is well established anyway.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:37, Reply)

There is a certain logic to it
I've heard plenty of people exclaim "Oh, for Pete's sake," when they'd rather not take the lord's name in vain.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Hahah quite so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:40, Reply)

The Catholic service ends the same way.
I was always amused that after a deeply boring hour, you were obliged to thank God it was over.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:45, Reply)

The one time you meant it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Once I was old enough to walk home on my own my parents let me sneak off during the "church newsletter" segment
so I didn't embarass them in front of their church friends.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:51, Reply)

This sounds horribly familiar.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:56, Reply)

At 13, it seems perfectly reasonable to go "BUT JESUS HAD LONG HAIR, JUST LOOK!"

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 11:59, Reply)

It was a familiar argument at Boyce Towers, too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:04, Reply)

My Dad got churchey
as he got older. A mortalitity thing I suspect.

I used to have the same arguments about Jesus having long hair. My Dad responded with one of his classics "Just because Jesus looked like a congolese border guard, doesn't mean you have to!"
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Jesus was a hook nosed Jew with a resplendent Jewfro, anything else is a Byzantine construct

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:27, Reply)

My Dad used to say that too.
Hold on, no. He said all Catholics were cunts and the Pope was the Head Terrorist.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Stop harshin on the fucking pope man

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Why so?
So much ammo....
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:40, Reply)

The Byzantines, considering they were all hairy-backed Bubbles
really should have kept their constructs to themselves.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:30, Reply)

terrible racism

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

i got dragged to church regularly as a child - fuck knows why, neither of my parents were religious people
the jesus of the "stations of the cross" was resolutely blue-eyed and blond.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I'm an unmolested* ex-altar server, I RAWK
*I may have repressed memory syndrome or whatever it's called
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:33, Reply)

You'll find that it's called
"ugly choir boy syndrome"
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

HAHA the Jokes on you, I'm sure Pistons used that one before

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I'll never be the man Piston is.
Swipe will confirm that for you.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Few, if any can measure up to Piston_Broke

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I'm not even a third of a Hood-Butter
who himself was but three-quarters of a Piston.

Really, there's no further point in continuing my worthless existence.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:40, Reply)

shush
what goes on gaz, stays on gaz.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Did it give you moral rectitude?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:34, Reply)

no
i have to earn that. don't you read my bella-bait?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I have enjoyed it a few times.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:45, Reply)

AND the bella-baiting
boom boom.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Can't argue with that logic.

( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:28, Reply)

i'm a woman
i can argue with logic.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:48, Reply)

No you can't.
You think you can, with the screaming and the crying and the sudden retrieval of points from arguments three years back, but really we just get bored of listening to you.
( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:50, Reply)

bored of listening to you horny and think a blowie would be nice.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Yeah, fact

( Kroney, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 12:56, Reply)