i'm going to pout here
i don't get these youtube things. life's too short to click on everybody's links, surely?

but everyone else seems to love them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:07, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You should post a link to something you like.
Then people will say, 'Swipe! That's fantastic. Can you post some more links like that please, your taste in music is fantastic'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:08, Reply)

because that's what we all say when jeff posts stuff

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:09, Reply)

*Sobs*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:10, Reply)

it's highly unlikely
i love music but my taste is at best mainstream and at worst downright cheesy!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:13, Reply)

bros?

( zulu eh?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Have you tried Whigfield?
Mainstream but with that edge that says 'I'm cool and you motherfuckers know it'
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:15, Reply)

huh
i thought it was an edge that said "50 year old dried up withered old pussy".

silly me...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:17, Reply)

She's like 41 or something
Stop pissing on my chips
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:18, Reply)

she's bound to be incontinent by now
so she can piss on your chips if you're into that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:19, Reply)

I chanced upon an elderly chap that I vaguely knew bemoaning his two weeks absence from his wife who had been taken into hospital on an emergencey basis. He said it was the sex that he missed the most.
She's sixteen years his senior and doubly incontinent. :((((((((
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:23, Reply)

viagra has a LOT to answer for
you can stop picturing it now though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Dirty fuckers had best use Polythene 1000 Gauge sheeting on the bed, that's all I'm sayin

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:36, Reply)

that bed would be a swamp.
it would be like one of those galapagos tortoises mounting a hippo.

in a swamp.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:38, Reply)

Ban pensioners sex NOW
Seriously they should stick to knitting and forgetting to get off at the right bus stop
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:42, Reply)

the only problem with this mandate is...
.... what happens when WE are pensioners. surely we're still going to want lots of sex?

esp if we have alzheimers by then. "ooh, sex with a stranger" "ooooh we've never done THAT before" "god i've never come so hard"... every time like the first time!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Swimming around in faecal matter on 1000 gauge sheeting will never be appealing
I'll settle for the occasional hand job from 'confused' Doris
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:48, Reply)

find one with parkinsons
and no teeth
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:51, Reply)

roxette are back, what about them?

( zulu eh?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:20, Reply)

don't bore us
get to the chorus
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:21, Reply)

I can't think of anything that did, bar Joyride.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:22, Reply)

better than 2Unlimited or Ace of Base though...

( zulu eh?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Thanks for mentioning them.
no-no, no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no.....

That'll be in my head ALL NIGHT now.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:30, Reply)

well i had beer and wine and champagne and a bbq today
WOO YAY
( zulu eh?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Beer and wine and champagne AND a BBQ.
Sir,

I do believe that you are a winner of this day.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:56, Reply)

thank you
i feel you might be right
( zulu eh?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:04, Reply)

I kind of agree.
Thanks for the thanks. I'm going to revise for exam of doom tomorrow, have Wednesday off and then Maughan the loss of my social life (ha! ha!)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:26, Reply)

Why do people keep using the word 'doom' - it's a rubbish word.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:28, Reply)

also, its relative
doom to you might be fuck all to me, and vice versa
( zulu eh?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:30, Reply)

It's a great word.
V. descriptive.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:39, Reply)

1000000
times this.

doom is a gloriously expressive term.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:41, Reply)

Oh man I've just remembered we named our hamster 'Doom' at university in our shared house
We ended up giving him lung cancer from all the smoking of massive drugs in the lounge where he lived. What an amazingly confused life he led.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:46, Reply)

The parrot who'd sat on the bar of the Wedlocks pub in Bristol was addicted to nicotine from passive smoking.
When the banned smoking in pubs he got really aggressive with everyone.

No idea if this story has a happy ending as they pulled the pub down a couple of years ago.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:49, Reply)

They're always fuckin mardy things anyway
pieces of eight my arse
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:54, Reply)

oh now
i quite like birds. better than hamsters anyway!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:58, Reply)

I LIKE BIRDS TOO

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:04, Reply)

i read that as TURDS

( zulu eh?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:05, Reply)

turd isn't on here tonight!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Perhaps he's drink driving around Wales again

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:13, Reply)

If he ever crashed and died we could set up a facebook page and all that
I'm not on facebook but I'm sure it would be lovely
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:14, Reply)

i thought that was rogerboresme?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:15, Reply)

Yeah her too.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:16, Reply)

him, you mean
he has a fiancee called crystal, remember?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:17, Reply)

Oh man, lolarious b3ta mentalism

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:20, Reply)

she and bert
are good for hours of entertainment. although she has gone a bit nasty these days.

it really bugs me that people turn bert in so quickly, he gets banned before any sort of proper meltdown these days.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:23, Reply)

I've said this before
I'm like cassandra
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:24, Reply)

oh now come on
you're not THAT miserable...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:25, Reply)

Bobby is such an inspiration to the youth of today
Doesn't he like totally deal BIG WEED as well
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:17, Reply)

he is pretty open about that, aye
no wonder he keeps changing his name!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:21, Reply)

No, that's because he ******* ****

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:23, Reply)

oh man
that's way too subtle for me.

i mean, there aren't enough words for "fucked his sister".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:24, Reply)

He can run, but the internet knows

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:25, Reply)

the internet knows all
i do blame this place sometimes though for warping my perceptions of other people's senses of humour/where their lines are drawn.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:26, Reply)

No, that was Bob in his early days.
He got pissed and stoned and drove back to Bristol and was told just how foolish he was by all and sundry.

He won't be doing that again (or if he does, he wont be telling OT)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:17, Reply)

Who knows with Bobby !?
Let's go with he still actively does it, the cheeky scamp
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:19, Reply)

why do i feel that you are implying something here...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:07, Reply)

I thought the Captain annoyed you?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:07, Reply)

nah
it's lovely really
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 22:08, Reply)

hahaha that's a grand name
i would feel sorry for it but... hamsters are fucking pointless.

ours was called dennis (after the arsenal player, bergcamp was it, my ex was a massive gooner) and it had a similarly shit existence, including being inadvertently booted across the lounge when in its crappy exercise ball, and being put in a saucepan by my pissed-up flatmate.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:50, Reply)

I never really saw the point in the hamster, he'd either shit on your hand or bite you or both.
I shed no tears at his untimely death
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:53, Reply)

exactly
AND they sleep during the day when you're awake and make a shit load of racket at night when you're asleep. worst. pet. ever.

and ours used to aim his tiny cock and unfeasibly giant balls so that he could piss through the bars of the cage in a most unpleasant golden shower for anyone sitting near him.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:55, Reply)

you can get an idea of the shit taste in music everyone else has though
just click it, listen for 10 seconds, move on
or if you're me, don't click at all because there's a 98.9% chance I've never heard of it, plus you're used to clicking and listening to 10 seconds of shit, so you know it's likely to be shit anyway
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 25 Apr 2011, 21:49, Reply)