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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Eeeeeeeeevening thread!
I am all packed and ready for my long weekend in the motherland, and I am going to enjoy a nice glass of something yum tonight in celebration.

What are you going to do?

Alt: whatever. Tea, or something. I don't care.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:06, 155 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Your brother says you're married to a paedo Santa.
I told his that was bang out of order but he persisted. I'm sorry.

Al: Tea was two hours ago.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:08, Reply)
I can't believe that
Not half an hour ago I was talking to him about buying him a birthday present and he never fucking mentioned that! I must disown him immediately.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:10, Reply)
I'd love a brew, please
milk and half a sugar, ta
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:10, Reply)
NO, Crunchy!
Tea with sugar is just WRONG.

I used to take sugar when I was a kid, but when it got the point where I needed four sugards just to able to taste it, I realised enough was enough. It really does taste much nicer without it.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:12, Reply)
I started giving up sugar, but then I realised
i liked it, so it was foolish to give it up
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:33, Reply)
I've not had a tea all day.
But I've had several cups of coffee.

I don't know what to do this evening, the pub is tempting, but so kicking back and doing fuck all.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:10, Reply)
I would always go with 'fuck all'
call it 'meditating'
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:16, Reply)
There is football on the tellybox tonight
And whilst I don't care for either team, it might be an entertaining game to watch.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:16, Reply)
This sounds interesting
Plus, those forrin teams seem to actually know how to play, which helps. The only downside is that I have to endure Adrian Chiles while watching it.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:20, Reply)
You could listen to the game on the radio and just watch the pictures on the telly.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:33, Reply)
You can't beat the effort/reward ratio with fuck all
division by zero FTW!
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:45, Reply)
If you don't care I'll never fucking care about this thread

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:11, Reply)
SYWD

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:15, Reply)
I have nothing to say but IT'S MY SECOND B3TADAY
yaaaaaay
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:14, Reply)
Happy candle day.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:15, Reply)
Thanks
trust it to happen on a day when I'm not around
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:16, Reply)
If you're not around.
Who is replying to me?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:17, Reply)
OOOH WHO KNOWS?
Nah, I was out of action today. My electrical goods all ran out of battery and I was very very very hungover.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:18, Reply)
You went out last night to celebrate candle day.
How hardcore is that!!
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:18, Reply)
I went to celebrate handing my essay and doing my first exam
I've failed the latter, I seriously think.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:46, Reply)
What was the exam on?

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:21, Reply)
paper

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:55, Reply)
scissors.
I win.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:56, Reply)
atomic bomb
...I win
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:57, Reply)
No you don't.
Not unless you can explain to me the rules of 'Stone, Paper, Scissors... Atomic Bomb'

And tell me what the hand sign is for it.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:58, Reply)
I know it's a version I've seen played
but mostly by kids who probably just didn't want to lose. I think atomic bomb beats everything. It's a little unbalanced
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:00, Reply)
You've just made that up.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:01, Reply)
nope

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:01, Reply)
happy candle day!
you're so young!
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:34, Reply)
Congrats
or commiserations, I'm never quite sure.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:46, Reply)
Happy Candleday Lampers
How have you managed to not whore it about until now?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 18:49, Reply)
Happy candle day
May there be many more to come
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:15, Reply)
Happy Candleday!

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:32, Reply)
OMG HAPPY CANDLEBUM

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:35, Reply)
is no one doing anything
exciting this evening?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:09, Reply)
I might go out for an hour Captain.
But that'll depend if the football is any good or not. If it's a good match, I'll stay in.

What are you doing?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:12, Reply)
nowt
perhaps I should
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:17, Reply)
What options have you got available?

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:19, Reply)
dunno...um
make something from wool...or beads...or code. Arse about on the internet.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:21, Reply)
Why not go to a local pub for a pint.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:26, Reply)
I don't know which one won't get me stabbed or nastily letched at
My armchair is comfier
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:27, Reply)
According to FB
my brother's girlfriend's BFF is currently in Bristol boozing it up.

I could get you an introduction - she reminds me of Rachelswipe.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:48, Reply)
I don't live in Bristol

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:51, Reply)
Where are you then?
I felt sure you were in Brizzle.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:57, Reply)
Fulham - Bolton?
Should be gripping.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:47, Reply)
i am stuck at work until about 8.45
then going for a greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek with my lovely friend.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:25, Reply)
smashing!
plates
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:28, Reply)
it really is the best greek restaurant ever
*dribbles*

AND the waiter is come-in-your-pants hot

*dribbles at the other end*
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:34, Reply)
mmmm
I hear the best way to pull waiters is with punching
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:35, Reply)
this guy is so hot that
you couldn't do anything except say "gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah" in manner of attractive gaping mong or similar.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:50, Reply)
So you put on your best voice then.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:53, Reply)
sssssh
it's not me who's from the west cunt-ree
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:00, Reply)
You just like to spend time in the sunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn-shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:02, Reply)
ai don't talk like thet
ai was living in backinghamshire when ai learned to talk
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:04, Reply)


(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:12, Reply)
That's your bumholes way of leaving a nice musky scent to attract the males of the species
/David Attenborough voiceover
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:56, Reply)
hey
i do not, have not, and will not ever, dribble out of my bumhole.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:00, Reply)
have you never had food poisoning?

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:02, Reply)
genuinely not
apart from possibly last year from soup.

i think it's quite hard to get food poisoning if you're vegetarian.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:04, Reply)
you're not missing much

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:11, Reply)
I don't know.
food poisoning is a great way to lose a couple of stone in a couple of days.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:13, Reply)
all via your ass

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:14, Reply)
A lot of the weight loss can come from vomiting.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Whatever happened to that bloke who had bumhole related 'musky' problems from his wife
It's all natural Swipey
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:05, Reply)
you bullied him away
and there is nothing natural about bumholes.

just ask your 12 inch cock and see what effect the thought has on him.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:15, Reply)
Speaking of which they seem a touchy lot over on links, I only popped over to say hi but it seems to have gone so terribly wrong

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:16, Reply)
show me!!!

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:22, Reply)
It's very funny.
Rory does some top baiting.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:23, Reply)
that is not showing me
SHOW ME
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:25, Reply)
http://b3ta.com/links/
If you are too lazy to click on the link to the 'Links' page.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:26, Reply)
Nobody wants to play nicely
www.b3ta.com/links/just_when_you_thought_Cameron_couldnt_be_more_of_a_cunt
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:25, Reply)
thank you both
why do they rise to it? like tiny little loaves of bread!
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:28, Reply)
sleep hopefully
i feel like fucking shit

where are you going?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:29, Reply)
I'm such a horrid person
I never thought to ask b3th where she is going.

Are you going anywhere nice??
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:38, Reply)
nah, just home

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:44, Reply)
Scotland
Long weekend with the folks.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:39, Reply)
oh that's fun
is it near Aberdeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen?
there are a few b3tans there!
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:45, Reply)
No, Fife
Specifically, the bit that isn't beautiful and picturesque.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:48, Reply)
sounds wonderful

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:50, Reply)
as long as she's packed enough jellies and buckfast

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:58, Reply)
And the Mars bars for deep-frying.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 19:59, Reply)
soz I forgot about their specialist cuisine

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:00, Reply)
yuz can all get tae fuck

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:02, Reply)
Wonderful walk with the dogs and veggie curry.
And my feet are in dire need of a good scraping.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:14, Reply)
Number of dead ducks..... 9
That's my guess.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:15, Reply)
They never catch them.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:29, Reply)
Have you gazzed the fat Jeff Bridges from earlier?

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:15, Reply)
will he scrap her feet?

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:19, Reply)
I'd say he's willing to lick bumholes
that's keen that is
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:21, Reply)
you're not?

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:22, Reply)
Err no, rachel will confirm to you that they're quite musky, not my thing really

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:28, Reply)
hang on
why do i have to confirm this?

bumholes are so NOT my area of expertise!
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:29, Reply)
We've all got one, check it out later on when you get home

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:33, Reply)
o. m. g.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:35, Reply)
i intend to be slightly drunk
And if i were to check out any holes of any description anywhere... They would not be of the bum variety
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:37, Reply)
It's the internets secret
One finger at a time I've been told, you might bust your arsehole if you go ramming your fist up there
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:40, Reply)
"i've been told"......
"Told" my arse!
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:44, Reply)
did you let him practice on you

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:56, Reply)
only in his dreams!

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:00, Reply)
methinks the lady doth protest too much

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:05, Reply)
and that's why he couldn't get the third finger in

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:09, Reply)
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaha

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:14, Reply)
are you saying you tried to like rachels bumhole but it was too musky and you decided it wasn't really your thing?
or did she try to lick yours and it was too musky?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:29, Reply)
She's only gazzed me a couple of pictures so far, but they're not really doing it for me

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:33, Reply)
two x lies on the internet right here
Firstly i have done no such thing

Secondly if i had, they'd have done it for you like you wouldn't BELIEVE.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:35, Reply)
Klingons and all

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:41, Reply)
that is fucking rank
Product of a diseased mind. And a diseased ass!
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:47, Reply)
I think he's lying and doesn't look remotely like Jeff.
Men lie you know.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:27, Reply)
Fuck it though he's a man
of sorts


we think
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:29, Reply)
Let me re-iterate something for you.
I AM NOT DESPERATE.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:35, Reply)
He might have a lovely personality

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:38, Reply)
Perhaps you can grow to love him over time

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:38, Reply)
I sometimes think the same about you Rory.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:40, Reply)
I'm everyone's secret BFF on here

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:41, Reply)
keep at it
His mum's been trying for about 42 years though
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:42, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1184320
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:43, Reply)
hmmmm!

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:52, Reply)
since when did that help anyone get laid?

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:39, Reply)
It helped me.

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:41, Reply)
it didn't do much for me
and I had a fucking lovely personality.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:43, Reply)
Well it was a lovely personality and a lot of alcohol.
Did I mention the alcohol?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:44, Reply)
When you mix it in with that old reliable 'I've only got months to live'

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:42, Reply)
that wouldn't work on me
I'd think, no stamina and will sob and demand cuddles after sex.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:45, Reply)
nooooooooooo
do they? i can't believe that
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:30, Reply)
True dat!

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:40, Reply)
get those fish to nibble them

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:23, Reply)
Ew!
I don't mind the concept of the fish but I'm put off by the fact other people will have had their feet in there.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:28, Reply)
they don't clean it after each session?

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:31, Reply)
Who knows.
Some less reputable places may not.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:34, Reply)
i didn't realise they had back alley pedicurists

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:35, Reply)
yeah, they keep their fish in puddles

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:37, Reply)
Haha!
Surely the fish don't eat all the skin and some of it is left floating about in the tanks?

They do have them in Tenerife all over the place. I might give it a go on holiday.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 20:41, Reply)
has everyone gone away or is there nothing left to say?
blah blah blah sex blah
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:20, Reply)
i'm here
barely

how are you today Countess?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:21, Reply)
I'm not bad
just spent some quality time staring wistfully at the city lights twinkling in the haze

you?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:27, Reply)
utter fucking shit
have felt horrible all day
and i won't get into the rest of it
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:29, Reply)
do you need me to post a youtube clip of a manatee
or Jeff to say *there there*?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:31, Reply)
no as neither will help or make me feel better
but thank you anyway
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:33, Reply)
*there there*

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:33, Reply)
it must be bad, then

(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:35, Reply)
I'm watching the footy.
Start a fun new thread Captain! That'll get 'em back.
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:22, Reply)
I'm not so sure
plus, i don't know what to start one with
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:27, Reply)
Make something up.
I dunno, how about how many times you took your driving test with an alternative of something telly based?
(, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 21:29, Reply)

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