News thread!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-13278317

I blame the parents, not the kids.

What do you blame on bad parenting, and what basic life-skill have you managed to avoid learning?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:40, 40 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I can undo a bra one-handed in no time flat
I believe this overcomes any conceivable shortcoming
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Like the fact you prefer cock?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

And this was taught to you by your mum?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Don't let her catch you wearing them or you will be in big trouble.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:49, Reply)

This is the only reply that warrants a response
Thank you for the advice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:50, Reply)

You must be getting tired.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:53, Reply)

A lunchtime spent drinking will do that to a boy
That and all the buggery
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)

That's impressive
I can barely undo them in under ten minutes with both hands and my tongue sticking out in concentration.
( Kroney, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Bring a knife.
Gets it off a treat with the added benefit that she is less likely to say 'no'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Roses are red, Violets are blue
I've got a knife
Get in the van
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:05, Reply)

I just set them on fire.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:01, Reply)

I never had you down as a feminist

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:09, Reply)

That's because I'm the devil aren't I?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:10, Reply)

no just a rapey gimplord.
Alex Ferguson is the devil.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Don't be daft, Gillian McKeith is the devil, and she probably is a feminist
*lazy, overdone joke about raping being unfeminist*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Joan of Arc lolz

( Kroney, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:21, Reply)

I just burn them off with my lighter
/funnier phrasing
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Years of practice, innit
The key is for women to regard you as "safe" so they find it amusing instead of rapey.

*taps forehead knowingly*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:11, Reply)

That the snappy finger thing through the shirt?
Yeah I can't do that. Don't want to put the time in either, as I can't help feeling that would contain the rapey vibe you're advising me to avoid.
( Kroney, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:21, Reply)

It does help if the girls in question think of you as being in that "friend zone" that only the long-term committed or rampantly homosexual can achieve

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:24, Reply)

How do you stop the shaking hands? When ever I've had to remove a bra my hands have been shaking so badly that I lose all sense of volentary movement in them.
Which ironicly, is the best _and_ worst time to have a wank
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:30, Reply)

On a bright note.
At least all these fat fucks will be happy to work at Burger King when they eventually waddle out of school with no qualifications, a child called Nokia and a vile Matalan wardrobe.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:47, Reply)

HEY!
My dark pink tie comes from Matalan.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Tell Dozer

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:55, Reply)

No worries, I was just being a dick.
I don't own a dark pink tie.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)

dark pink
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Then you, my friend, have not lived

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:59, Reply)

The automotive industry is going to undergo a lucrative regeneration as well
For anyone unfamiliar with a bicycle and whose leg muscles have atrophied through lack of use, a new front seat/steering wheel combination will need to be created to ensure that said wheel does not get lost in their rolls of stomach fat
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Couldn't they create an apparatus to suck the fat from the riders rolls...
...and use it as a form of energy to power the bike?
Edit Oh wait - you said 'car'.
Damn you lunching at drinktime.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Yes, I am entirely to blame
Damn me. Damn me to hell.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:00, Reply)

I heard Bobby invented one of them to allow him to drive
but then he ate it.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Nokia is quite a cute name for a girl or a dog.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:37, Reply)

nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2011/05/03/osama-shoot-down-video-scam-facebook/
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 May 2011, 16:58, Reply)

In the summer holidays kids should be put outside when the parents go to work
and then let in about 9ish.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Like the mentally ill are these days.
Has anyone been to Camberwell in S London on a weekday?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:03, Reply)

My mum did this. Truefact!

( girlinthehole, Wed 4 May 2011, 18:37, Reply)

Looks like someone has hacked O2's facebook page
d.imgb.in/imgbin_4dc18205e00c21.80290340.png
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 4 May 2011, 17:43, Reply)

I can take my bra off without taking my top off.

( girlinthehole, Wed 4 May 2011, 18:37, Reply)

I can take my top off without taking my bra off.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 May 2011, 18:52, Reply)

Apparently the Irish SAS joined the US assault over the Bank Holiday weekend.
They stormed Debenhams after hearing Summer Bed Linen was on the 3rd floor.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 May 2011, 19:10, Reply)