Yeah well we'll see when I'm fucking gorgeous for a few days won't you.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:16, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

For a few days?
Again, stupid.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

It's mainly to get me prepared for the 2-4 hours sleep a night
walking and dancing all day, the heat and a shit diet. I'm not doing it to loose weight, just to stop me feeling so shit when I leave.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

What about if you did it to lose weight?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Then I'd choose a more sustainable long term diet and actually increase the exercise I do.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I was pointing out your poor spelling

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Everyone's impressed.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Mission accomplished

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:25, Reply)

You will still feel like shit.
I mean, good on you if you want to go on a diet or whatever, but it's not going to stop you from feeling like crap when you leave.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Being thin won't make you any less ugly sweetheart

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Meow you is bitchy today Fwapster

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

he said sweetheart though

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:23, Reply)

he is been all meen coz he's on his man period

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:25, Reply)

I'm sure your boyfriend would appreciate more support than that

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Haha the Fwapster strikes again
*Hums combichrist*
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:26, Reply)

You're cute when you can't think of a decent response

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Soz but I can't top you being a self confessed aspirational superhero wanker titled the 'Fwapster'

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Take the kicking and move on
If you're looking for things to top, might I suggest "yourself"?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:38, Reply)

How would I follow the office antics of the 'Fwapster' then, you've not really thought that one through
You must be that brief ray in your work colleagues dull day with shit like that. Between being the Fwapster and your Michael Jackson routine for making the tea they must be so glad to be in close proximity to you.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:43, Reply)

*applauds*
You're on top form today, Rory.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:45, Reply)

would anyone else really really love to see a michael jackson tea-making routine?
what happens, does he spill boiling water and grab his burning crotch, yelling OWWWWWWWWWWW?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:54, Reply)

This is what's called a fabrication
Rory is - and brace yourself for a bit of a shock - making things up in order to be a cunt.

I know, I was surprised too.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Funny though.
In a hurtful way!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:59, Reply)

It's only hurtful if you choose to think of Rory as a person possessed of a valid opinion
other than a troll who has nothing more interesting in his life than demeaning randoms on the internet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Good point.
The thing I like about him is that he posts stuff that you would have to be fucking hard to SAY to people's face.

I imagine a night out down the pub would end with a decent punch up or getting chased around whatever estate you were drinking on.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I'm willing to bet that Rory/Chompy (see below) is a tremendous physical coward in real life

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Maybe.
When is the London bash?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Careful Fwapster you're leaning back towards your online hardmanning, and we all know what a dick you end up looking then

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:18, Reply)

I'll be in Machester next weekend
Fancy a pint?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Soz I'm in Dublin then, some other time then

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Gutted

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:34, Reply)

See you there!
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/23519
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Oh wow HOOD-BUTTER's going?!
Do I dare to dream?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Where is this? Naaaaaaaarich?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Scene of the Fordham Festival featuring 'Blue Haze'
www.streetmap.co.uk/map.srf?x=563287&y=270354&z=0&sv=cb7+5pe&st=2&pc=cb7+5pe&searchp=ids.srf
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:02, Reply)

You supply the material Darth 'Fwapster' Foxtrot, I'm encouraged that you feel demeaned by it, it's progress in a way

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:07, Reply)

i don't mind who does the routine though
i just really want to see it. does it involve a bit of child abuse at the stage of putting the milk in?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:04, Reply)

In one of your finer face palm moments you posted some crap about a Michael Jackson routine for the lols of being the tea boy
Search is down but it's in the internet somewhere. You edited being called a Deacon at work, but really it was inferred by one and all
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:04, Reply)

The more you post,
the more convinced I am that you're Chompy's proxy account for the things he doesn't want people to associate with him saying.

I actually recall the reference you make now - it wasn't a routine, just an MJ-esque noise after asking if someone wanted their coffee black or white. Hardly meme-worthy, although I appreciate you haven't got much else in your life.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:12, Reply)

It's nice that you know so much about me Fwapster, strange as I don't really broadcast my lifes ins and outs
Unlike every crippled happening in your own dull void that you feel compelled to smear all over the board. Get this you're just as dull as everyone else, no amount of mincing around and sad ear appendages will take away from that.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Why would I care what you think? You're just a troll. You couldn't be more pointless if you tried, and sometimes it really feels like you are trying.
The most frustrating part is that you're really very funny sometimes. If you could stick being either funny, so we could enjoy your posts, or just a cunt, so we could hound you off the board a la Frisbee, that'd be swell.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I'm finding his part of this whole thing pretty funny

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:33, Reply)

this is true facially
but it would mean less of him in the world in general.

which can only be a Good Thing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:38, Reply)

You're smarter than you look

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:50, Reply)

nah
i just really think less of his particular brand of obnoxiousness in the world could only be a positive. and as i have actually managed to make him LOLIGNORE me, i can say whatever the blue fuck i like!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Chompy's ignoring you?!
Surely it should be the other way round? I had him on ignore for a bit but ended up missing out on the comedy of watching more intelligent people than he call him a rapist and a cunt.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 14:54, Reply)

yes, i could post anything i wanted and he would ignore it
this might have stopped me making comments about him being a four-eyed spastic twat - but i don't think i'd ever get bored with that, so it hasn't.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Harsh
He can't help having poor eyesight. You could go after him for being an utter cunt though, he has more control over that.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:09, Reply)

he needs to get his kicks somewhere
after all, he's never left his provincial little town in the midlands and never will. he pushes pens around the nhs for £20k a year. so let him have his cuntishness on here, it's as good as it's going to get!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:13, Reply)

No wonder
the NHS is in need of serious budget cuts. 20 grand?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:19, Reply)

and worth every single internet surfing, news-linking penny

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:24, Reply)

I like this theme of yours enough to stop pestering you for a tit-gaz
Well done.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:28, Reply)

That's what?
£1,300 a month take home? £300 a week.

That's boyfriend material? Even for me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:28, Reply)

where did you learn maths?
20000/12 * 0.7 (assume 30% tax etc. for simplicity) = 1167
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:32, Reply)

Pure guess mate.
16k used to be 1000 flat monthly take home. Each 1000 anual gross over 16k worked out at 58 per month net. This was taking into account non-taxable allowance and the 20 tax rate. I think you may have under cooked it a bit.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:36, Reply)

maybe a bit
but not much.

irrelevant to me anyway because I earn so much more. Still fucking skint though. Stupid mortgage.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Think of what will happen in 25 years when it's all yours though!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:39, Reply)

there is that hope to cling on to

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:48, Reply)

I don't think I'll own it in 25 years
I'll have moved and have an even larger mortgage.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:49, Reply)

Should be OK.
Just don't extend the term.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:50, Reply)

need to keep that in mind at all times
although if things go tits up when my fixed term runs out I may have to.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:55, Reply)

there is that
I'm planning on staying in this place for a while.

We've not got a lot of equity unfortunately, so have no choice with the way things are, unless we inherit a big lump of cash.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:54, Reply)

It's a home. Not an investment.
Think of it that way.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Oh I do
I would never invest in a house. I don't mind property prices staying the same, I just hope they don't drop. But even if they did, it just means whatever I buy is cheaper too, so it's not the worst thing in the world.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:05, Reply)

we share the same attitude on this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I've always viewed it that way.
and I wouldn't change it. Despite its eccentricities I love my house and am thoroughly enjoying doing it up in my own style.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)

I get paid that much
*waves coyly*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:33, Reply)

That's friggin fortune in Norwich though.
You could BUY Norwich for that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Yes. I could. And I have.
I'm currently having the hydraulic legs fitted so I can get to decent gigs quicker by moving the city closer to London.

To answer your question below; you, just.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Who was closer, me or Vippers?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:38, Reply)

er........
....... not for me it isn't!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:37, Reply)

WE KNOW!
Snotty Totty!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:38, Reply)

moi?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:46, Reply)

That's an even better moniker than the Pink Tramp of Kensington.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:49, Reply)

I'm not sure she qualifies
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Snotty%20totty
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)

6 out of 8 ain't bad.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Bar the first point, that's spot on.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Oui, toi.
Vous êtes une fille de maintenance élevés.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:50, Reply)

Et toi, tu as
les bloblos d'une femme vieille.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)

not hard

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:02, Reply)

hey, i'm not the ginger one here

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Not until I get that tit-gaz, no

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:04, Reply)

i tried
but my tits wouldn't fit on the screen, so.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:05, Reply)

That is a brilliant excuse
Not believable, but brilliant.

*awaits gaz/picture messge/canvas printout delivered by carrier pigeon/whatever*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:13, Reply)

If what she says is true, then
pigeonalbatross
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:25, Reply)

ha
ostrich more like
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Ostriches are flightless
Also, in this company, the appropriate answer for large winged creature is "fell beast"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 May 2011, 15:29, Reply)