What are you hating right now?
I'm hating mushrooms still, after trying them again. I'm hating people who fart at gigs and others who don't know that they sway side-to-side during the slower, quieter tracks meaning everyone for eight rows behind them has to keep craning to change their view. I sometimes fantasise about fronting up to some of these cunts, but really I'm hating violence pretty much all the time and I like my nose the way it is.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 13:58, 133 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Try not going to Celine Dion gigs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Fuck that, it was Villagers supported by Michele Stodart, the funny-looking one from Magic Numbers.
Villagers were absolutely. fucking. brilliant. Definitely a little man-love going on right there.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:01, Reply)

She looks like the man from Magic numbers after a shave

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Funny that, they're brother and sister.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Yeah, but have you ever seen them in the same room together?
By this reasoning i also propose that Barak Obama and Joe Pasquale are one and the same, my logic is fulproof.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)

As is your spelling as usual.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I almost added that myself!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Only you could spell fool incorrectly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Spelling is my own personal road runner

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:10, Reply)

meepmeep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

That I don't have a job paying ~£50k in london.
That I'm on a diet, although I'm enjoying how much I can moan about it when it's not that bad really.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Are you looking to move to London?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Not at first, I'd commute, it's not a long walk to the station.
Currently there are two jobs I can apply for in my company first is perfect but 2 days a week in fucking wakefield, the second is in London but will mean jumping 2 levels of managment which will make me hated by every one I'd have to work with. I think I might apply for it anyway.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)

No point being a manager if you can't get a bit of hate on.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

True story, the only reason I went pictures yesterday was to get a fizzy slushpuppy but the machine was broken and I didn't have the heart to tell mum that I only wanted to fizzy slush puppy thinggy.
I think next time I go pictures, I'll phone up in advance to see if their fizzy slushpuppy machine is working.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)

There should be a big LED sign on the outside forewarning potential customers of the current status of all beverage machines.
Perhaps they should tweet whenever it goes down.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I think maybe it was a trick to get me to spend £2.70 on a bottle of DrPepper.
But if their fizzy slush puppy machine was working, I would have spent more on one of them, and I wouldn't have felt conned as much because you can only get them at the pictures, but DrPepper you can get anywhere.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Write to the cinema.
What's the worst that can happen?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I susspect they lose a lot of buisness for having a broken fizzy slush puppy machine.
That's why the consessions are further from the entrance than the ticket people, because if you walked pass the consessions first and saw it was broken, you'd think "Fuck that, I'm going home".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

what did you see?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I watched The Social Network the other day.
Good movie, really well scripted, good fluid storyline, I'm sure some of the characterisation was a bit off but I really enjoyed it. That and Monsters, ace.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I should watch the Social Network at some point I suppose.
How monstery is Monsters?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Not very at all, although two monster do have some monster sex

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

hmm

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

They're aren't even monsters really, but giant land octopusses
It's a misleading title, it should be called "two people go on a dangerous roadtrip, with some giant land octopusses in the background, and fall in love whilst realising they have shit lives"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Considerably less monstery than I thought it was going to be.
I loved it, but I'd compare it to Lost in Translation with a bit more tension. It's more about the characters and their short relationship than it is about the monsters, but I absolutely loved it. Watch it with the missus.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:13, Reply)

hmmm
I fucking hated Lost in Translation
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I know, I almost didn't mention it.
It only reminded me of it in the sense that it's about two people in a situation and their interaction as opposed to an event-driven storyline. It's not really a fair comparison in terms of how the films compare outside of that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:23, Reply)

oh ok
so it's not fucking boring like Lost in Translation then?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Not at all.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I've heard it's not very
and is more of a road-trip movie.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Oh, I saw a film you might like, this weekend.... 'shrink', it's basicly about Kevin Spacey as a pot smoking phsyciatrist to the stars.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

sounds good
I'll check it out
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Pirates of the carabeean 4 on stranger tides in 3d.
I'm torn because the 3D on the trailer to Transformers was sooo awesome, but the transformers films are shit because Micheal Bay is a dickhead for changing the decepticons.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

how was Pirates?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Jolly good fun !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)

interesting.
someone was telling me that it basically has no plot at all, because people found the first 3 too complicated
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Yeah', that makes sense, it really was mindless fun. The second and third ones wern't to complicated, they just had too many dull bits.
The end of the 4th one sets up for so many other films, it's almost as if "How many story arcs do you think we can create".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I'll probably enjoy it then

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

people Americans
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Darren can't work every day

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)

secondment
as usual

work in general is shit in fact.

better car this week at least.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)

What are you driving and how long do you have left?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Hyundai i30 this week
it's diesel though, which is good. A lot of the petrol cars I've had have been completely underpowered.

Finish at the end of June.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

You've told me that about six times now I'm sure.
That looks nice enough, if we were at a dinner party I'd ask how it drives and whether you'd consider it as a family car, but seeing as we not, how're your wife's tits?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

it's better than a Vauxhall
and almost infinitely better than a fucking Chevrolet Spark.

Her tits are superb, thank you for asking.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I'm hating the hangover I appear to have
despite only having two glasses of red wine last night. I fucking love mushrooms though! Which type did you try?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Button and some other fucking fungus of unknown species.
It's just the taste and the texture and the whole thing, I doubt I'd find any of them palatable. I even struggled with magic mushrooms and they were brilliant.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I know several people who hate them.
they wouldn't even come close to trying them again

button mushrooms are a bit shit though. don't really taste of anything.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I really like porcini & chestnut mushrooms now
The rest can get to fuck.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I love mushrooms, they're awesome

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Morels and steak FTW

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Yep
Even good oysters, chestnut, etc.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Chestnuts fried in chorizo oil are magnificent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I like this idea

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Needs more BLACK CAYKE PUDDING

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Everything needs more of this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Black pudding can be added, but not til later on.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Threadstomping bastards.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

BOOM!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

HONK

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:13, Reply)

STILL people who block the pavement with their underdeveloped ambulatory skills
I crossed over a road I'd have to cross back this morning, to avoid having to trail behind two waddling old bitches for thirty seconds.

Also, the usual suspects; Michael McIntyre, Premiership referees who think the rules concerning penalty kicks are somehow different in Championship playoff matches, the continued popularity of r'n'b, Chompy.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Afternoon Darth

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Hello mate
Good weekend? Ooh, and you might know this, is there anywhere I can catch up on MOTD online?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Yeah, not too bad
Our new dog is gonna get renamed to be Steve McQueen I think, after ANOTHER escape! Footy was good in that Sunderland finished NE top dogs 3 years in a row too. Cheers to Wigan for beating Stoke

I dont think MOTD is on iPlayer though. Apologies for the Sun link but I think this is all the goals from yesterday

www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/

You might be able to get them via Yahoo
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:24, Reply)

"Available soon after" so sometime today I'd reckon.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Cheers mate, much appreciated
Pushing for Europe next year then? Could happen, if your lot remembered a season has two halves
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:29, Reply)

I very much doubt it.
Half the team has just left back to their "parent" clubs again.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Sign another half then
A decent striker would be a start. Haven't you got £24 million burning a hole in your pocket?

(look at me dispensing squad construction advice. HA)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I think two strikers are needed at the bare minimum as Sessegnon
(or sausage 'n onion as he is now known) seems to have remembered that he is quite good and can play up front.

Left back, centre half and two wingers please. Oh, and another central midfielder who can pass FORWARD
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I'm afraid the first decent left-back to become available has been bagsied by NFFC
You can have the rest. I'm feeling generous
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:41, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b011lf36/Match_of_the_Day_2010_2011_22_05_2011/
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Or this one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:26, Reply)

*crosses fingers for this to work before 6pm today*
Cheers Noel
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Chris Moyles
The irritating, blubbery, twattish, cunting fuckstain of a prick. He gets paid stupid fucking amounts of money to sit on his fat fucking arse talking shit with his mates, and not being funny. I COULD FUCKING DO THAT, YOU FUCKING CUNTS!

His idea of being funny this morning was doing a call and response about food. FOR MORE THAN TEN FUCKING MINUTES, ARGH!

*breaths*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Dont listen to it then!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Don't have a choice, it's on in the bureau

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Headphones FTW

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Against elf n safety, innit!
Real Answer: I work in the office for the most part, taking calls is something I have to do a lot, so headphones are a no no.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Headphone - singular

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Still not allowed, sadly.
Only the artwork guy is.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Why?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

The MD's rules.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

MD cunt
you ninj cunt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Art cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Nah, he's not that art.
I reckon I could take him.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:24, Reply)

You are Clarice Starling AICMFP

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I can smell his cunt too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

ha ha ha ha
POTD
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

This is even better!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

This is very good!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

mushrooms are amazing
right now I'm hating my achey teeth and sunburn

but I like the fact that sunburn turns into tan
tan cancer. lulz.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:16, Reply)

ouch x 2

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Went to my parents house and my mum had made steak and I couldn't eat it :((((((((((((((((((((((((

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

She made a steak? Crikey food prodcution in the USA is lightyears ahead of us
We still have to kill a cow to get ours
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

shut. up. douche. bag.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I've never been called a douche bag before....

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:30, Reply)

WTF actually is a douche bag?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Colostomy, I think?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:33, Reply)

It's a bag containing a pre-mixed vaginal douche solution, probably with appropriate 'nozzle' as well
Like an enema, basically.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:36, Reply)

Is it vaginal? I thought it was for the bum bum.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I'm 90% sure it's vaginal
Wikipedia says douche = vaginal, enema = anal. Not sure how true that is, but it's how I understood it. But then you can buy anal douching kits...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:38, Reply)

your face is 90% vaginal

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:38, Reply)

vaginal chins
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Shit!
and this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Oh dear
I actually lolled at this
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Your mum's vagina is 90% faces
All twisted by unholy torture, and screaming in agony.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:41, Reply)

+e
spacedocklols
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:41, Reply)

I liked mine better

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:42, Reply)

your mum's vagina is 90% faeces
due to her trying to get gay men to fuck her
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Your mum's faeces is 90% horse cum

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:44, Reply)

your face is covered in faeces that is 90% horse cum

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:47, Reply)

your faeces is 90% horse faeces, 10% your own cum
Which you then eat as part of a solo 'human centipede' tribute act.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:50, Reply)

well, your solo human centipede show was so successful that a tribute act was the sensible thing to do

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:58, Reply)

This is genius

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:50, Reply)

sure is, mostly used after women get their period

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:44, Reply)

What to wash away those annoying cloying clots?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:51, Reply)

no idea, really

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Enema.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Ahh, my mistake!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:37, Reply)

A bag full of water that you shoot up your arse with a funnel thing,
It "cleans you out" or something.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:36, Reply)

I thought it was the squeezy part of the douche.
I'm not sure.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:36, Reply)

...and you the expert in these matters too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:37, Reply)

first time for everything, eh

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Noooooooooooo!
That is evil
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I'm not really hating anything at the moment
but if this throat tickle turns into a cold, I will be hating some poor bastard with every fibre of my being.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 23 May 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Why dotcha have a noice cup of tay?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I'm hating those twats that park in the disabled parking spaces at Tesco.
You know the ones I mean? Disabled people!
( Peej, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:48, Reply)

How's the little one dude?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:49, Reply)

She started laughing this week which is awesome
Akira is also getting better and very protective of her little sister.
( Peej, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I've taken to parking in the "parent with child" spaces
I mean, how can they tell whether I've got kids just by looking at my car?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Check for blood stains around the boot lid?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Booster seats

( Peej, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:52, Reply)