I've just noticed
The little bins in the ladies toilets have braile on. Yuk.

What has made you laugh this afternoon.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:56, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Early days, we're only 58 minutes into the afternoon.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Noel!
I kept sending a message on FB but it kept vanishing.

There's a train that gets in at 1158 to Hebden, would that be appropriate? Or should I go for the 1141 one?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:06, Reply)

We'll wait for you love.
Gaz me your cellhandmobilefuturesmartspacephone number. Edit: scratch that, I already have it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:09, Reply)

FYI
in Iran GAZ is the name they give to nougat. true fax.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

I'll be sure give some to Mahmoud Ahmydinnerjacket next time I see him to confirm this.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

The reveal....
Drum roll pleez...

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaz_%28candy%29
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Oh, I've eaten that, it's lovely.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:55, Reply)

Fuck off Bert
and with that, LUNCH!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:59, Reply)

LUNCH!
I have home reared beef in black velvet porter with potatoes, apparently by Robin Hirst.

The beef wasn't reared in my home, I hasten to add.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:12, Reply)

The thought of you 'rearing' 'beef' in your home has made me want to vomit.
Have you really tired of those sex dolls already?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:14, Reply)

those sexy sexy cow eyes
with the long lashes...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I know!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Reamed, more like

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:42, Reply)

How do you think we make the salt beef Monty loves so much?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)

So blind people aren't allowed to use bins anymore? what the fuck? Are you some kind of monster or something?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:09, Reply)

She thinks the blind deserve to wander around for one week a month with bloody trousers.
What is the world coming to?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:11, Reply)

I bet she's the sort of person to put satanic messages in brail on toilet paper.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Sticking dots reading "DANGER POISON DO NOT CONSUME" on oysters and other tasty shellfish.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:14, Reply)

She's ruining the fishing industry in this country Gonz, I'm on the phone to DEFRA as we speak.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Why would she do that? What does she hope to achieve? What could her possible motive be? Thank the god above that she doesn't have the means.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Maybe she runs an offshore salmon farm, or just has it in for gill-bearing aquatic vertebrates.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:21, Reply)

She's not replied to a single thing anyone has said on here.
That's truely the most unforgivable crime.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Maybe she's killed herself in guilt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:48, Reply)

KFC must be full to fucking bursting with b3tans by now.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:49, Reply)

It is now they know you can get biscuits and gravy there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I was working
Shame on me, puting the ouch in ointment.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Fri 27 May 2011, 17:41, Reply)

I've now got the intergrated facebook chat/messages thing
so I can read everything I've ever said on facebook chat, I talk a lot of shit.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:11, Reply)

trufax

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:33, Reply)

not much
have a hangover, little sleep, etc etc etc
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:19, Reply)

You should have some biscuits and gravy. That'll sort you out.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I wish the biscuits and gravy fairy would visit.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I wish there really was a biscuits and gravy fairy.
I would welcome them into my home every saturday morning.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:24, Reply)

In america
They call them girl guides. They sell cookies and extras if you pay them enough.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

girl SCOUTS
and you don't pay a fucking fairy, they bring it to you for free
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

It looks rather like the biscuits and gravy fairy spilled a few deliveries in large puddles on Old St this morning

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Oh man, those crazy Shoreditch hipsters
they will play their merry japes on the Biscuit and Gravy Fairy.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:31, Reply)

I feel like you're tainting something sacred here.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)

I feel like I missed out by not trying biscuits and gravy while in San Francisco.
Will they do them in New York? I'm aiming to go there in October time.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:51, Reply)

I've no idea. It's mostly a southern food as far as I know. Did they offer them in SF?
I'm about four hours away, I'll bring some to you. May be cold by then, mind.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I don't know if they had them, I wasn't looking out for them.
Does this mean if I want to try this fabelled foodstuff I'm going to have to visit Hicksville and get bumraped?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I'm afraid so.
It's well worth it though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:56, Reply)

nymag.com/bestofny/food/2009/biscuits-gravy/
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Oh boy
I'm totally going there to see if I can find the fairy.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I fear your visit clashes with InFest so he won't be there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:00, Reply)

fuck that shit
that's not fucking biscuits and gravy
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Fuck that shit, fuck that shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:01, Reply)

OH MAN!
Now I'm totally upset again.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:02, Reply)

just make some of your own
it's not that difficult
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Don't worry:
www.yelp.com/search?find_desc=biscuits+and+gravy&find_loc=New+York%2C+NY

More options.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:08, Reply)

please note that red lobster doesn't actually have biscuits and gravy, even though it's first on the list

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Egg is first on the list I saw
Maybe they filtered it because you aren't deserving enough for the fairy to bless you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:16, Reply)

sorry, it's "at the top"
better?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:25, Reply)

*notes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:17, Reply)

My ex that I broke up with 5 years ago...
Just sent me an email and said I still owe her £1300. lol.

PS - I think she's actually being serious.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Do you owe her that?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I think £1300 for being his girlfriend for five years is a pretty low amount.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:24, Reply)

You can tell he's not a Lannister.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Is this some kind of Game Of Thrones thing?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

Yeah

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Good stuff innit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I have no idea what you are on about...

(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)

New series on Sky Atlantic
Very good indeed. Swords, tits, beheadings. Its like youtube
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

New TV show game of thrones
it's like a political Lord of the Rings but they don't want it to be to childish so they put about 8 boobs an hour in and have midgets getting blowjobs.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:13, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:15, Reply)

It's got Sean Bean in
so it's good.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Sean Bean tits
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

tits midgets getting blowjobs
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:24, Reply)

If you include discount for mass-purchasing, he must have had sex at least 260 times in that time period to make it worth it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Sometimes even with her!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:34, Reply)

No moonlighting !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:45, Reply)

Probably more like £5.
If memory serves me correctly. However she took a few of my CD's so I'm prepared to call it evens.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

This has:

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:26, Reply)

musky

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

I like anal sphincter stew together
It's not a dish to eat alone
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:35, Reply)

What's so funny about Welsh onion?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 13:40, Reply)

It leeks

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:41, Reply)

You know when your brain goes "Heh" but your mouth stays absolutely straight with no hint of a real smile?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:44, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:47, Reply)

You know how your face looks every single minute of every single day
apart from that one time when you really needed a poo and then you found a public toilet that was nice and you were almost pleased.

It was like that time.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:50, Reply)

Ah, now I see.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)

That is EXACTLY what I was aiming for here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:57, Reply)

The news that I fell down a set of stairs is keeping me rather amused.
Also, some of the answers in this weeks Q are fantastic. As is this.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:28, Reply)

I spoke to a friend of mine this morning about selling him a coffee table.
Somehow he managed to turn the conversation into one about how his 'cock nearly exploded this morning' and how he was 'seeing stars from the pain'. You see, he'd put some 'product' on it last night when he was with a girl, 'all over the helmet', which you're 'not supposed to do', but he 'didn't wash it off' and this morning he was 'in agony'.

The which I replied 'so anyway, about this table...'

He is from Wigan.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I call bullshit
As if you're friends with anyone from Wigan
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:57, Reply)

He's in the MD 'industry'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I can't think of anything you could have said which would have been more likely to result in me replying "Oh, that makes sense then"
Surely you know dealers in London? I know things are cheaper oop Norf but eventually Royal Mail will rumble you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I know this quite difficult to imagine as a concept
but he's from Wigan but lives in Islington.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

*head explodes*
He's near Slimelight then. Lucky bastard.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I bet they play 'Fuck that Shit' EVERY NIGHT there - that's how fucking cool it is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:10, Reply)

You'd love it, Monty, you should check it out

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Oh man are there 'alternative' people down there?
That would be wicked, loads of people who REFUSE TO CONFORM, all dressed the same as each other. How fucking cool.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Yeah man
It's a vision of the future. If, in the future, we'll all be living in a disgustingly grimy warehouse and pretending we can distinguish between one set of horribly distorted beats and the next.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Oh man that sounds so dystopian.
Wi-cked.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I say this with the greatest respect for your ability to cane it
but I doubt you could get wasted enough to overcome your instinctive objections to every single thing about the place.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:27, Reply)

There are simply not enough drugs in the world for that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Not any more
If you could've gone a bit easier in the early 90s...
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Christ, that must be a horrifying accent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:09, Reply)

He sounds like 'a fucking northerner' to me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Question for any Manc-familiar B3tans.
Going to a wedding at Salford Cathedral tomorrow. Hotel and reception are also in M3. How far is that from Old Trafford?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:03, Reply)

The M3 goes towards Hampshire
That's fucking miles away from Old Trafford but you will see lots of Man Utd tops there.

Hope this helps
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

He's not coming to fucking Hampshire.
We don't take kindly to his sort down there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Exactly what I was looking for, cheers

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:10, Reply)

If only there were some way of using the internet to show you a map
of where you are staying, and where Old Trafford is.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Dream your crazy dreams elsewhere, future boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Effort

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:18, Reply)

2.7 miles drive

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Cheers fella
What I really want to know is; how likely is it that our weekend will be ruined by straying, belligerent Stevenage/Torquay/Huddersfield/Peterborough fans?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:13, Reply)

If you're driving to Old Trafford I recommend parking at the Lowry Outlet Mall
It's got indoor secure parking and it's free for the first four hours if you get your ticket validated (there's a newsagents in there so that wont cost you much). It's a five minute walk from OT.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Plus in Manchester the 'secure' part of the parking is very important.
When my brother used to squat in 'The Crescents' in Hulme we had to park fucking miles away because nowhere had CCTV in the area.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Blimey, a google image search of 'The Crescents, Hulme' does not paint a pretty picture
(Until you scroll down far enough to get to the picture of 'curried goat')
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:27, Reply)

It was really fucking scary.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Appreciate the in-depth assistance sir
However I'm actually keen to avoid Old Trafford and all the people going to it. Partly because of the intense pain associated with the words "play-off final" and partly because they might be ruffians.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Ah, I see
You'll not be sticking around for the victory parade on the Monday then I take it?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Odd that they've scheduled a victory parade for two days after the most humiliating defeat of their season
But no.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Nonexistent, I'd say.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Triffic. Appreciate it
How far is Manc Piccadilly from Oxford Road? Our hotel's right near the latter but have a feeling our train tickets might only take us to the former.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:24, Reply)

about a ten minute walk or a five minute bus ride

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:26, Reply)

See? You don't need Google Maps when you've got INTERNET PALS.
Cheers Al
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Oxford Road is full of student cunts.
Or was when I went there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:26, Reply)

GREAT SEATS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:28, Reply)

My favourite bar is there though.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Kro2? Revolution?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Font.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Helvetica?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:41, Reply)

knowyourmeme.com/photos/98686
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Well that's Dr Who screwed then
Scientists suggest spacetime has no time dimension
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I've seen braille on things that say "Warning do not touch"

( Peej, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:10, Reply)

That's dried spaff

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I had lamb Schwama and beer for lunch, NOM
but now I am rather tired
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Two pints of Moretti and some pizza
*yawns and falls asleep on desk*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Cool story bro

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Almost as cool as your reminiscence about students in manchester

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:29, Reply)

A reminiscence so cool
he relayed it three times
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:32, Reply)