I need cheering up
get to it!

alt: what is the best thing that has ever happened to you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:33, 180 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I ate a mouldy blueberry by mistake this morning,
I think I'm going to die.
Alt: You're the best thing that ever happened to me Vipros.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)

you're just feeling a bit blue
it won't bury you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)

You're no longer invited to my funeral.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Who is going to stop me from attending?
You won't be in a position to object
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I'll leave my b3ta password to anyone who stops Amberl coming to funeral.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:46, Reply)

done

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Talking about mould
The dishwasher was smelling funny, so I had a look around. Mark had prepared a few weeks ago a massive bowl of yogurt, cream and fruit, and put it in the dishwasher when finished without rinsing it. When I picked it yesterday, it was ALL green and fluffy. And smelled really bad.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:38, Reply)

THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER THANKS

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)

this shower are useless at cheering people up

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)

What do you mean?
Don't you find funny to know of other people's misfortunes?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)

very much so
but a mouldy bowl doesn't really do it :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Me finding it?
And even touching it?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:59, Reply)

not sure
I think I need more details.

Had the bowl been left in the dishwasher for weeks? Had it been cleaned by the dishwasher and yet still got mouldy in the cupboard?

Did you get mould all over you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:07, Reply)

You're welcome
I'm always glad to help you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Cheer me up first
and maybe I'll consider it

Alt: Not a clue, can't think of anything offhand
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Try this:
damnyouautocorrect.com/
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)

-nudges breast lovingly into Amberl's hand-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:55, Reply)

oo-er ma'am
I feel better already
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Best thing that ever happened to me?
Easy. Being born. I wouldn't be here otherwise.

Oh, and have this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=luSI1hFDZ7w

Always makes me smile.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)

I can't watch youtube stuff here
you are just making things worse
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Ah, sorry.
Have this instead then:

Clicky for image when no-one is looking, perfectly SFW.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:37, Reply)

lolcats with kerazy captions are shit
There I've said it
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:38, Reply)

also, liable to get me told off
edit: thanks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)

As I said to Amber
try this: damnyouautocorrect.com/
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I would, but it's blocked here
I love that site.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)

Christ, things really are shit for you at the moment, aren't they?

( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)

yeah
I tend to have short periods of feeling pretty down about things. I'll be alright later, although I've got a fucking Vauxhall Corsa at the moment so the drive home from Dorset will almost certainly make me really fucking angry.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:43, Reply)

Jesus Christ, Vippers. How have you not gone postal?
A Spark and then a Corsa? I'd be tempted to tell them to stuff their rental cars, I'll drive my own.

My grandad called those days "black dog days".
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:45, Reply)

it's a 1.2 as well
what was worse is that the cunts were late delivering it yesterday morning. They normally have it delivered by midday Saturday, because I need from half 7 on Monday. I phoned them several times over the weekend to say it wasn't there and was assured it'd be on time.

Wasn't there at half 7 so I called again. half an hour later I have a car and they've given me a free quarter tank of fuel. Fucking yippee. I don't even pay for the fucking fuel.

Black dog days is a good term
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:57, Reply)

The worst experience I had was trying to give the car back to them.
Four days they kept me waiting, blaming it on lack of drivers etc. Then on the third day they told me they'd be there by 2pm. I told them that they'd better be as I was busy in the afternoon and wouldn't be around. They weren't. I went out.

When I called them for the fourth time to complain, they told me that the driver had been there at 3pm and that I had to "make some effort to work with them". I politely explained that I was wasting my paid holiday trying to give them this car back and they could shove their unprofessional attitude right up their arsehole. I then said that they had one more chance to take this car off me and if they weren't there by midday tomorrow, I would be keeping it.

There were there the next day at 11:56. Cunts.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

I envisage the same happening tomorrow morning
if they haven't got it by half 8 then I'm leaving it unlocked with the keys in the ignition.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Can you get into facebook?
I can post the best ones there and you can see them. I would upload the pictures here, but I can't.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:43, Reply)

no facebook either. stupid secondment

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:43, Reply)

What?
No Facebook at work? Criminal!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I'm so sorry about that!
I'm running out of ideas.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:00, Reply)

it's ok. I just need distracting really
between here and actually doing some work it's helping
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

He's just adding to your problems, he's like a downs kid playing Jenga

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)

haha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I like them.
So ner.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Hay love cruisader, I want to be your space invaider, for your I will decend the deepest moon crator, eyes stronger than darth vader, obay me I am your new dictator, for you are vinus, and I am mars, I am richer than all the zars, make a wish on a shooting stars, and then for you I shall play on my COSMIC GUITARS.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWOzUzJd6wM&feature=related
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)

you are excellent

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)

At least you don't have cancer, or it's not that advanced as to cause any immediate concerns

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)

I like the way
you covered your back there.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)

There's always someone looking to bury the knife there

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:46, Reply)

A lot of things come to mind
But apart from the obvious, the moment I came to England and started meeting people with similar hobbies as me. I was always a bit of an outcast and had trouble to keep friends for long, as couldn't find many things in common with them. And couldn't talk with them about what I like (comics, anime, graphic novels, scifi... all that, not pron) as they thought I was weird.

The first time I had a proper conversation about this stuff, with no one laughing at me, I was over the moon. I wish there had been a scifi club at my Uni, but we don't do clubs at Spanish's Unis.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Honestly, I can't really pick out one thing that I'd say has been the best thing to happen to me.
My life's been pretty mediocre, thus far. I guess the nearest thing that qualifies was going travelling for six weeks. Lazed around in the sun, met girls etc.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)

I don't want to know what that etc refers to

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Perhaps... Tupperware?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I suspect it's something to do with his nocturnal anal adventures
his frozen shit in one hand, and a camera in the other
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)

One of them was the worst kisser I have ever, ever met.

( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Like an over-eager labrador?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:45, Reply)

More like a limp sea slug.
It was crushingly disappointing as she was really, really hot.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Oh God.
I just got the wrong-horn.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I still feel vaguely disgusted by it now.
Ten years later.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Always a shame when attractive girls are shit kissers
One girl I went to school with half ate me one night, fucking awful. That was a shame because she was fairly tasty.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Nothing is guaranteed to turn me off faster.
Seriously, I went from full bongle to choan in a fucking heartbeat.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Oof, that's not good
I had that when it looked like a girl was keeping Billy Gibbons in her knickers
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Haha!
The missing Jackson 6
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Haha, there was a really pretty French girl there one week.
I didn't even try as I'm not much of a one for jungle expeditions.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:56, Reply)

My thought on the matter is simple
I'm there to eat, not to floss
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

hahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Really?
It's amazing what you can do with a decent pair of hedge clippers.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

This was shortly after being attacked by Face-Slug.
My appetite for a challenge was sadly diminished.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I'm glad you're herppy about that experiance.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Looking back, Gonz
I was very lucky I wasn't herpes'd by it.

Be sensible, kids!
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:50, Reply)

You're not me
Alt: the missus, easy. Responses like that are why you should be happy you're not me.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Everyone seems to be having a shit day today

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:45, Reply)

I'm actually really not
I just thought Vipros' sense of humour would find enormous comedy in being reminded that things could be worse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I'm not having any shitter a day than usual.
I'm just bored with my job.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I don't know.
You have a simply fabulous shoe collection, what more could a man ask for?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:46, Reply)

It's really not that fabulous
Although it is getting ever more extensive. Found some wedding shoes, yay.

And how is Mr L-plates today?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Grand thanks
Wondering if I should donate or not to get an icon.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

don't do it to get an icon
do it because the site is worth it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Good point.
What's the average donation?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)

no idea

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Depends if you like it enough to stick around
You've dealt with the initial round of "Fuck off Bert" very well, I think. Personally the only advantage I can see of having an icon is that you get a candle next to your name on your B3taday, and as mine falls on a Saturday this year I'm not spending the money.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I'll give it a couple of weeks and see.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:18, Reply)

You seem to be inhabiting negative space of late Marty
Perhaps it's your emo fringe harshing natures good vibrations
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:49, Reply)

naa, my answer would be the same

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

We do that a lot
Also; good man.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

me martian, 15 rotations of the sun of the planet Mars, that weird face formation mountain thinggy.....telecomunications analyist.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Doesn't your secondment end this month?
Alt: I went round to a friend's house, had a chat about "feelings" and got smashed on box wine and gin. One of the best things ever.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:49, Reply)

it does
and we are getting a new lodger in July, so will have a bit more cash
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

A new lodger?
Wouldn't you rather be poor but happy and have your privacy?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:13, Reply)

You're not Darth
Alt: I'd say getting my current place is quite high on the list, as it's absolutely fantastic. And while I didn't see it at the time, moving to Congleton ended up working rather well.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:51, Reply)

I coming to Buxton in march for a wedding
What precautions should i take?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Wear mittens, so they can't see you only have 5 fingers
Don't let any local get within 8 feet, and don't drink the water, no matter what they say.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Top stuff, I'll stick to gin all weekend

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

And give me a gaz if you fancy a pint, I'm only down the road.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Will do, knowing my admin though I'll be late and rushed, and the day after dying of alcohol poisoning!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:06, Reply)

I have kicked arse and took names this morning
This makes me feel happy! RARGH!

Alt:
Kids being born. Only a parent will understand this. Nothing can prepare you for what you feel
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Don't the women feel their fanny's tearing open?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Quite often they have a nice shit on the bed, too.

( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Isn't that more often then not?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I believe so, yes.

( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:07, Reply)

This part is the best bit for you

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:10, Reply)

He's got a container of dry ice waiting.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Human Centipede II - full sequence has been banned by the BBFC
They siad no amounts of cuts could make it passable.

As a person with loose morals I'm surprised at how pleased i am at this, ever since torture porn became a popular genre in it's own right I really haven't understood it or wanted to be a part of it.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 10:56, Reply)

The first one was meh!

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:16, Reply)

This will make you laugh
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1394582/Award-winning-Neighbourhood-Watch-ordinator-70-helps-convict-Lothario-door-spying-hot-tub-romps.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Stupid bitch.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

totally
nosy fucking cow. she should be fined for being a snooping bitch
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:02, Reply)

What would be the situation if it was a bloke doing that to a woman?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

he'd be locked in the slammer

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:03, Reply)

And bummed half to death for being a perv.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:04, Reply)

He should bring a civil case of harrassment and get a restraining order preventing her from spying on him
or he should piss through her letterbox
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:04, Reply)

or both

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)

"some of whom had baseball caps"
Clearly hardened criminals.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:08, Reply)

It's the Pan Pipes that I'm most worried about.
What the FUCK does he think he's doing playing Pan Pipes?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:11, Reply)

do you think he was actually playing the panpipes?
I can picture it like the flute scene in Anchorman, with him occasionally going "ugh!" and "yeah!"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Jazz flute is for little fairy boys

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

HEY AQUALUNG!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:17, Reply)

He's a 51 year old man on benefits living in a mid-terrace house in Colchester.
The likely standard of the two women he had in his hot tub implies that it wasn't pan pipe music the old woman was hearing, but whale song.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Geordies?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

This week on Desperate Housewhales....

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Hehehehe...

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:14, Reply)

"SPLIT YOUR LUNGS WITH BLOOD AND THUNDERRRRRRRR!"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)

And he poured upon the whale's white hump all the sum of rage and hate felt by his race from Adam down.
If his chest had been a mortar, he'd have burst his heart's hot shell upon it.

But it wasn't, so he had to settle for "get your tits out, bitch". Which is nearly as poetic.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

That's not how Picard quoted it

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Picard quoted it wrong.
In fact, so did I. But mine's a better approximation.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

First Contact?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:31, Reply)

That's my favourite of all the films
with the possible exception of the new one. Mainly because of all the eye candy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Aye.
Zoe Saldana. I'd respond to her hailing frequencies anytime.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I was going more with Zachary Quinto and the bloke who played McCoy
but yes, I'm sure she'd do a turn.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Karl Urban

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Whatever you're doing may well be worthwhile, and you will certainly get paid at the end of it.
And you don't have to live in my shit-heap of a house. Which I totally am cleaning right now, even though it looks like I'm fannying about on the internet.

Alt: Biscuit. I'm constantly amazed at how any one creature can take so much joy out of life's most simple things. I could watch him play all day. I guess that's the closest I'll ever come to knowing how a parent feels.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Pets teach us about the simple things.
Dogs are brilliant for this. Cats just sit there looking smug and condescending.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:13, Reply)

I'm hoping the best thing to happen to me is yet to come.
Passing my driving test was pretty awesome because I was old when I took it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Did you manage to avoid running over the man who was walking in front of the car with a flag?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Oof, haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)

*cries at being old*

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Sorry Blousie.
*Plays the Blousie Rocks! song*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Sorry but you do know it's my achilles heel.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

*old lady high fives*
*old lady wrist cracks*

How many goes did it take you? I started when I was 18 and didn't pass till I was 28.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Passed first time but it took me over a year to get to the stage where I could take my test.
I was around 37.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

+ in a 40 zone

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

You. On your way to the test centre.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

You......!
*shakes fist impotently*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Alt: my kids being born
followed by getting shot of their mother!

Also, my son played cricket for the first time ever on Sunday. He looked great, did really well, and scored 6 not out. I am a very proud dad.

*smugs*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:18, Reply)

How old is he?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:20, Reply)

13
I've taken him along to net practice about 3 or 4 times, but Sunday was his first ever game.

He looked great walking out to the wicket in his whites with his helmet on. He admitted that he was nervous as hell, but he didn't look it at all.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

It is pretty worrying, but he's done well to score in his first game
Does the team have a slip cradle?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I've been playing for over 25 years
and the day you stop being nervous when batting is the day you become complacent.

We haven't got a cradle, but we've got one of those catching net things. One thing we don't practice enough is fielding, which I'm constantly banging on about.

We bought a bowling machine last season, which is great, but unfortunately our bowling has suffered a bit as the bowlers aren't practicing enough.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Ahh, that's not good
Spending time on the slip cradle was great fun, but didn't half teach quicker reflexes. And none of using those orange balls either, it's cork or nothing.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:49, Reply)

The team we played at the weekend had a cradle
I was all for bundling it into the back of the car, but no one was prepared to cause a diversion.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Bastards

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 12:03, Reply)

My nephew has got into cricket in a big way which is surprising.
We didn't think he'd have the patience for it. Lovely seeing him trotting off in his cricket whites.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Cricket is awesome

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I used to strongly dislike cricket
but in the course of soundly mocking my mate who loves it I have accidentally learned loads about it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

My girlfriend hated cricket until we started seeing each other
Now she comes down to every game (when she's not working) has learnt to mark the score book, has bought some kit and started playing for us.

The one thing I never thought I'd hear a woman say "Hi honey, you're here just in time - the cricket highlights are on."
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

It's one of those games that loses a lot by being on television.
It seems much more enjoyable when you're blind drunk and suffering from sun-stroke.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I still don't intend to go and watch any.
The issue I have with sport is that I appreciate displays of skill, but have absolutely no interest in who wins.

I don't particularly care if the national team wins in any sport, as long as don't lose to the Welsh at anything.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I put my foot through my mother's kitchen bin on Sunday and referred to it as 'an incident'.
Alt: I think we all know by now.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:22, Reply)

haha
alt: that's kind of you, but I think getting engaged to djtp is more significant than becoming my BFF
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:23, Reply)

It's hard to pick a winner.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)

understandable

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:25, Reply)

a bincident, surely?
oh that's right, you got engaged, didn't you? I keep forgetting. You should totally mention that more often.

Also: I wouldn't get too smug. You're engaged to a workshy bum who's going to spend the whole summer sponging off you.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Wait, somebody got engaged?

( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:26, Reply)

"There's been a bincident!" That would have totally worked.
I'm in a soppy mood. I miss him and I dreamt Tigger could talk and was sad when I woke up and it was a dream.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:30, Reply)

awwwww
Mind you, if Tigger could talk, he'd tell you to dump the bloke that keeps coming round because he doesn't respect the superior importance of cats.

Still, only three weeks...?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Cats are rubbish.
They haven't forgotten the time from when they were worshipped as Gods. Two thousand years ago.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Cats resent the fact that they need humans to open tins
Dogs are just happy to have a pack to belong to. No-one can smile at you like a happy dog.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Cats are awesome. They are simply using humans and I respect them for that.

( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

they aren't.
they are too stupid. People think they are clever but they are wrong.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

They're clever enough to know when something's easier than doing it yourself.
Arguing the relative intelligence of animals is a hiding to nothing.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:43, Reply)

That, and cats smell funny, and you can't take them out for walks.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

They DO smell funny
My granddaughters ahve three, and their house really smells of cat. Then again, I'm sure our house really smells of dog, and some people don't like that.

You know, wrong people.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Dogs smell really strongly.
Blugh.
( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:44, Reply)

So does a freezer full of shit.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

touche!

( Kroney, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I have two cats and have been reliably informed my house doesn't smell at all.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:47, Reply)

It will after the bash
i saw the photos, it look like there had been an earthquske and you were housing the victims from a special school
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:51, Reply)

My home is virtually back to normal.
Nothing broken and no stains on the carpet.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Check the sheets

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Checked and washed.
No knickers missing either.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Obvious answer is obvious
but becoming a father.
( Peej, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:36, Reply)

The Picture

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

hahaha
I'd totally forgotten about The Picture :-D
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

My work here is done

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

you should gaz me The Picture

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)