Write another b3tan's dating profile.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 20:47, 144 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Man seeks bitch, must have gsoh and own lead. No Poodles.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:07, Reply)

Evening Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:35, Reply)

Hi hon!
Been busy chasing tail?
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:38, Reply)

heh
I went out for a bit. But it's gone quite cold, so I'm back now.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:40, Reply)

It's quiet here tonight.
I had a nap earlier so I might stay up a bit later.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Have you had your nightly bottle of vino?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Not tonight.
Gym tomorrow.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:52, Reply)

*Sings*
Let's get physical! Physical!

Have you listened to your Blousie song today?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:53, Reply)

This morning.
While running on the spot and shouting HELL YEAH!
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:54, Reply)

You should start every day with 'Blousie Rocks!'
Ten minutes of that and you'll be fit to take on the world.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:55, Reply)

That is the plan.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:56, Reply)

gobarbra.com/hit/new-a7d38eddeccd20ef6cca733b780cbe4d

Go get 'em Tiger!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:58, Reply)

hahaha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:59, Reply)

You do realise that everytime you're a bit 'meh' I'll be posting one of these for you as they seem to cheer you right up!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:00, Reply)

I quite like the tune.
I like shouting Barbara Streisand at random times of the day.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:03, Reply)

How strange. Because Barbara is forever shouting 'BLOUSIE!' at random intervals.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:05, Reply)

I'd like to think so.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:08, Reply)

I reckon Babs is keeping track of every song that has been customised
And at the moment she is singing 'BLOUSIE ROCKS' on a regular basis.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Fun, busty lady seeks anything with a pulse and a penis to live in my basement and satisfy my every carnal desire.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:12, Reply)

*steals*

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:18, Reply)

90Nz0: The Man, The Myth, The Legend.
Some say his hair is made from the finest silken webs of the black widow; his teeth are made from marble that's been imported from Greece, and one smile would charm Medusa herself to her knees; his cock would make a horse rear back in jealousy.
There are those that know the man professionally, that say he taught President Obama how to play cricket and to drink tea properly. That he spell checked the whole of the internet, and taught Bill Gates all he knows.
And then there are the women that sing his praises, how he's not too manly to hold your hand or buy you flowers. How his love of cooking sets their hearts alight. And if they could give just one chance to be the one....

Well, he hasn't found her yet. Could you be The One?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:18, Reply)

I worked really hard on this, do I need to ask for validation?
Worst day ever.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:59, Reply)

I clicked I like this.
Truefact!
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:01, Reply)

Thank you, Blousie.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:02, Reply)

Rory aged 14.1/2 seeks older lady for hugs and to hold his willy. Likes trolling the internet for luls.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:23, Reply)

^I like this

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Desperately seeking bitch, shiny coat and spayed prefered.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:23, Reply)

I've done Jeff.
Unless you're talking about someone else.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:24, Reply)

was that there the whole time?
damn, work keeps distracting me

soz blousie
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:25, Reply)

Fucking hell
Blousie writing one was bad enough!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:36, Reply)

JUST IGNORE MINE SINCE SHE'S ALREADY DONE YOURS
*huffs*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:58, Reply)

Again, because I'm lazy
AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A HOUND DOG
Male WLTM F for long walks, cuddles in front of the fire...and maybe a bone if you're lucky! Ages between 18-30 (dog years)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:02, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:06, Reply)

lookin' for a hot chick to hug my nuts as well as my biking shorts do, then we'll get down to business, nodding our heads like yeah

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:25, Reply)

Ooooo, is it me?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:54, Reply)

yesssssssss

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:58, Reply)

American seeks chavvy Brit rapper type
Thick skin essential as I'LL BULLY THE FUCK OUT OF YOU. An appreciation of N-Dubz would be an advantage. Interests include not liking gigs or concerts.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:40, Reply)

I don't think we should include The Resident Loon since he doesn't post here anymore.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:59, Reply)

hehe!

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:00, Reply)

It's YOU silly.
but then you knew that didn't you
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Paperclip seeks sheaf of paper
for surprise sex on roundabouts
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:49, Reply)

I'm not very good at these

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:49, Reply)

+ appreciation of concrete cows a plus,

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:49, Reply)

From last time this thread was done:
I WISH YOU WERE PAPER AND I WERE A PAPERCLIP, THEN I COULD HOLD YOU
M, late 20s, from the city of Dreams. No longer lives with parents. Would like to meet any female, preferably blonde and poledance.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:58, Reply)

this is better

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:00, Reply)

Thank you!
I like the idea of roundaboutrape though
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:01, Reply)

Oooh! Let me take your second exit.
*Gives way to the right*

I can see how that would work for some.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:03, Reply)

You have reached your destination.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Sat Nag

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:06, Reply)

Animal loving larper seeks willing participant for the insertion of a rodent into your back passage.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:51, Reply)

oi!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:53, Reply)

Don't diss it.
You could end up with Richard Gere if you play your cards right.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 21:55, Reply)

Killer Queen.
The killer of Australian snake charmer Steve Irwin seeks enlightenment. Well, not at the moment, but if she finds herself single she might. Fancy dress appreciated.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:00, Reply)

Hahaha!
The stingrays have been sleeping recently. They'll get some fresh air at some point.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:01, Reply)

The weather will be improving soon then you could go from pub to pub killing Australian bar staff.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:04, Reply)

The irony was that the stingray photo was taken in Walkabout.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:05, Reply)

Christ. YOU'RE SICK woman.
Have you no respect.

*Ensures kangaroo is safely tied down*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:07, Reply)

THAR SHE BLOUSE!
Swashbuckling brunette, looking to "build Bridges" with that special man! Must be able to handle large amounts of nork.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Hahaha!
I think norks should get into the dictionary soon.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:06, Reply)

If "newb" can be...

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:09, Reply)

M, 44, very fond of own voice, seeks quiet passive F.
Ex-pat Geordie but definitely didn't get laughed out of Newcastle for being hilariously self-important, oh no. Anyone who tells you different is a troll. Cheers.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Davros is already married.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:10, Reply)

lololololol

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:13, Reply)

I'm only 40 you cunt!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Wanton woman, enjoys role playing Little Women and men with facial hair.
Preferably those over 6'7".
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:04, Reply)

Who's that?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:06, Reply)

Bob.
Every 3rd weekend of the month.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:08, Reply)

blousie
Because she likes tall men and she burnt her dress
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Ah it was the height thing and the roleplaying that confused me
I've never read little women.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:17, Reply)

i could be wrong on 8 different levels but i reckon thats the idea

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:19, Reply)

IS THIS THE BEGUINEING OF SOMETHING SPECIAL?
Blonde F, with a slightly larpadaisical look on like, WLTM mage or healer to take with on an epic trip into the Lands of BREASTS.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:07, Reply)

+ controls army of rodents

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:08, Reply)

"beguineing"

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:08, Reply)

Totally not blonde!
and who the hell would want a mage, I'm all about the incantors
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:11, Reply)

I swear you're white-blonde :S
What are you, and I will edit accordingly.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:12, Reply)

dull mousy brown?
blonde implies dumb
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:13, Reply)

^ Like Jimmy Saville

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:13, Reply)

YOUR AMERICAN DREAM
Brunette F, seeks two handsome men for fun and frollics- for N-DUBBLE the fun!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:08, Reply)

You're good at this.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:10, Reply)

I might become a Mills and Boone writer.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:10, Reply)

This was my attempt at a Mills and Boon
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1219853#post1219860
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:12, Reply)

HAhahaha

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:12, Reply)

The plot was a bit thin, but I'm sure with a bit of work it would be a best seller.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:13, Reply)

oh lord

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:13, Reply)

Sorry.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:14, Reply)

it seems my time is occupied by talking about n-dubz
maybe I should talk about sausage gravy more
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:18, Reply)

Talk about the canteen of cutlery you won on that television game show.
That would be interesting.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Socially awkward tubby, part versed in klingon, enjoys masturbating over most things on the internet, seeks anything with a pulse
This probably applies across a number of users
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:10, Reply)

Yes but you're not supposed to do yourself.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:12, Reply)

I did have you in mind Al

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:12, Reply)

THE MANE ATTRACTION!
Can you take a ribbing? Can you take THAT kind of a ribbing? Let's meet for coffee, and see if we can go TROLL the WAY!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:11, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Ummm who could this be ...

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:14, Reply)

I HAVE A BIG BODY BUT A BIG HEART
Be my girl, and I'll buy you all the gaudy things you might desire. Warning: I like a well-filled personality, don't bother if you're full of negative space.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:14, Reply)

I'm guessing Labs haha
just on the negative space
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:06, Reply)

GONZ WITH THE WIND
M, Beverly Hills of N. London, seeks lovely lady to share Chinese food, hand-holding and Hollyoaks. Bring your technology- maybe we can Mac out!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Bless.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:18, Reply)

you're good at this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:23, Reply)

Surfer dude seeks perfect woman. Oops I already have her. Hahaha LOSERS!!!!

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:26, Reply)

Doh!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:27, Reply)

You snooze you lose.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:28, Reply)

You had a nap earlier and missed NOTHING.
This isn't fair.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:29, Reply)

spot on ;-)
made the mrs laugh a lot too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:27, Reply)

Is she aware that if you split up you're mine?

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:29, Reply)

I thought I'd just lost the profile race.
Now I've lost you too.

*Runs off sobbing*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:30, Reply)

It was never going to work.
I might have your heart but little Jeff's desires lie elsewhere.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:32, Reply)

But through our shame relationship, I was going to get to know Biscuit and Benji.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:32, Reply)

Don't you mean sham?

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:34, Reply)

both are appropriate

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:35, Reply)

it occurs to me that I may have promised similar to several others....
;-)

also: www.b3tards.com/u/48ca4e4a50b7cad28251/tattoo.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:32, Reply)

Is that Japanese for 'earthquake'?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:33, Reply)

it's Japanese for
FUCK YOU JAPAN!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Nothing says 'FUCK YOU JAPAN' in tattoo format
Like this.

tinyurl.com/6z3uvz4
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:36, Reply)

hehe
that's excellent
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:37, Reply)

Get that done instead.
You'll never get bored of it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:38, Reply)

And I thought I was special : (
Nice!! I approve. When are you getting it done?
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:33, Reply)

you're all special.
not sure yet. July probably. Need to go and talk to the man.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:34, Reply)

You are worryingly good at this
bravo.
(berk, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Soon to be married surfing guitarist.
Seeks no one because, in case I haven't mentioned it before. I'm head over heels about my other half. Does this makes you sick? Does it? I said, DOES IT?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:27, Reply)

Ooh is it too late to join in????

Sex-obsessed ladykiller (M) seeks petite mouthy pikey with enquiring mind and sharp detecting skills. Must be prepared to share me with tubby bearded northener.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:42, Reply)

heh evening b3ta

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:43, Reply)

Mmmmm! *ponders*
Hate to love you and leave you B3th but it's time for bed.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:43, Reply)

Is it too oblique, Blousie?
should I add 'for fun and frolics and GETTING ENGAGED'?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:45, Reply)

hey! I got a CD today :)
I've not listened yet, but thank you!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Sorry it took so long to get to you
Have you had any of your official ones yet? I've only had two. *sadfaces*

I'd gaz binky, but it's not her fault people are twats, and she's probably sick of getting whining emails. My send out total is now up to ELEVEN!

spinaltaplols
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Night all.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:50, Reply)

Night Jeff

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:53, Reply)

two only, including yours.
fucking pathetic. Rory got me I think but that's still three useless cunts who need a slap.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:50, Reply)

I've had one from you and one from LiC
so no official ones. I'll be sending yours and his once I've got more CDs, probably this weekend
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:51, Reply)

I'm gonna send you one too.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:01, Reply)

It's not too bad actually.
track ten made me smile, 6th form lols.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:49, Reply)

which one was that? I can't remember.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:53, Reply)

Bubba Sparx

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:56, Reply)

there was surprisingly little rap in this year's selection
considering how much of it on my ipod.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 22:57, Reply)

I was surprised at how much electronica ended up on mine.
Plus not happy Dolly Parton got on it, but well chuffed with Bjork and Modest Mouse.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:00, Reply)

Yeah, I noticed the large amounts of electronica
The lollipop one was good, though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:03, Reply)

I prefer the Young MC track at the end with the Shaft sample.
And the Damien Marley track is fecking awesome. I am listening to it in my car at the moment. (not right now but when driving)
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:04, Reply)

I was going to do one for Applebite
but it writes itself really
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Newcastle based student, m.
Seeks equine vet for shits and giggles. I'll steal your heart. And your jacket.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:16, Reply)

Who's that then?
Am I missing something obvious?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:18, Reply)

BarryfromEastenders

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:19, Reply)

Barryfromeastenders.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:20, Reply)

ah. Right then.
Don't know him.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Resident ketamine shovelling shoplifter. Hasn't been on for a while.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 7 Jun 2011, 23:34, Reply)