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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Borderline Boilers
What 'unattractive' celebrities do you find attractive?

eg. Miss Hoolie off Balamory, Hazel Irvine, Jimmy Krankie, etc...
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:25, 195 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
Miss Hoolie can get tae fack
Her nose is fucking massive. Josie Jump would get it though
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:26, Reply)
Lucy Liu

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Funny nose

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)
She always looks a bit boss eyed to me.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:10, Reply)
Lindsay Lohan
I have no idea why
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:28, Reply)
Zoe Wannamaker
Weird faced pixie that she is
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)
Most of the female newsreaders
for some reason!
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
And weather
I saw our local weather lady Trai Anfield in Sainsburys - TRUFAX.

She is fit!
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)
I can think of a couple of reasons
You don't get to count this one because if you take Lohan Classic, circa Mean Girls, she's damn fine
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:29, Reply)
You mean the Parent Trap, you fucking nonce

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)
Double the fun
You've got me confused with Bobby here.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)
haha!

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)
Because she'd be a cheap date.
What with her being banned from drinking. You should take her to a Harvester. Free refills on the soft drinks and I'd imagine being an actress she'd be watching her weight.

So whilst you can have an 'Early Bird' scampi and chips, she'd probably be content with the free salad bar.

I fear I may have over thought this answer
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I like the cut of your jib, young man

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)
steve bucemi
phwooooooooaaaaaaaarrrrrrr
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:31, Reply)
Really?
He looks fucking mental!
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:32, Reply)
He's not circumcised
It occurs to me that anyone who hasn't seen Fargo will think I've kicked Steve Buscemi's back doors in
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Wow, thanks for ruining it for me.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
what's wrong with not circumcised?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)
This^

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)
It's more popular in America than it is here

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)
I'm not sure I'd ever describe cutting off part of a child's cock as "popular"

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:40, Reply)
well it is, because when they grow up it's all pretty and clean

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)
I had mine done when I was about 5 or 6.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
and now it's all pretty!
not so sure about clean...
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Does the name Albert Fish mean nothing to you at all?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
nothing
but living in america it's become a bit of a taboo since most men are
I don't think I've ever seen one uncircumcised
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)
*awaits barrage of cock-gazzes*

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)
shh. I've told you not to talk about that.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:40, Reply)
I've seen pictures, I mean I don't know of anyone that is not

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)
are they really?
how odd. It's not like they're all secretly Jewish.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)
yes, really

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:42, Reply)
They used to do it for health and hygiene reasons, laughably.
It used to be standard practice at birth. Don't know if it still is.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:43, Reply)
I think they ask if you don't want it

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
They ask the baby?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
yeah, I reckon they just choose for them since babies are crying mostly after they're born

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
But without it where would I keep my loose change?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
do they remove eyelids for the same reason, then?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
I know, mental, isn't it.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)
why is it mental?
I'm genuinely curious, I know nowt about why it's done.
I just think it's makes a man's penis look very nice.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
Because the foreskin evolved for health and hygiene reasons.
That is, in fact, it's primary purpose i.e. protecting the incredibly sensitive glans. When it's cut off, the glans has to then callous in order to protect itself, which robs the man of a great deal of sensitivity.

It's like cutting off the clitoral hood at birth.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)
so you lot blow a lot faster than american men?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:02, Reply)
Yes, that's precisely what you should be taking from that post.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:03, Reply)
Removal of the foreskin helps prevent spread of HIV
as it's where the virus hangs out after initial infection, I believe. Or at least, transmission of HIV in circumcised men is lower than in a control group of equal risk men.

Also, personally, I think it looks nicer. And it's certainly been the case - not that I have slept with enough people to say that this is statistical certainty - that circumcised men don't come as quickly.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)
I've seen Fargo and I don't remember Buscemi's cock being in it
One or other of us is repressing, clearly
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)
That bit where Marge is interviewing the two girls in the bar?
Where the famous "he was kinda funny-lookin'" bit came from?

Marge says to one of them "Can you tell me anything else about him?" and she replies "He wasn't circumcised!"

I'm into film.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)
ah, right you are.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)
Rebecca Black.
I know she's only 13, but what's a 3 year age gap these days? :-P
Go on, CMITF.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Who is that?
EDIT:

And what is CMITF?
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Cunt me in teh Fuck.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)
OK
*obliges*
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
I know the answer to your first question
but cannot bring myself to provide it
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)
*googles*
Nope, still no idea
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:36, Reply)
The scary thing is that you're 43, so it's more like a 30 year gap

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)
30 year sentence more like

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Arf

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
I thought Bert was about our age

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Nah not Bert, just some random nutter who has problems leaving the front door

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:37, Reply)
That particular 3 year age gap equals statutory rape.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
So would a 5 month one for me.
But rain falls from the sky, Birds flky, and many 16 year olds screw 14-15 year olds.
I'd wait a year tbh.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
I was always quite taken with the Rubenesque Donna out of Holby City...

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)
NORKS

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:34, Reply)
Lily Allen.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:38, Reply)
This^
Bong eyed, Cockerney, extra chromosome, but still nice
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:39, Reply)
Jeremy Kyle
Your personal Babestation.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:40, Reply)
dirtier than a Cornish tin miner's sock, too, I'll wager

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Bloody hell, is this "New people come out of the woodwork day"?
I have to say, it is actually quite nice to have some new posters, though looking at this persons profile makes me worry that they wear a Simpsons tie and say "I'm mad me" at parties.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:41, Reply)
I thought this
i bet they organise LARP Flash mobs
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
No chance...

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Billie Piper
Absolutely no idea why as she has a strange face.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I've worked it out now.

BECAUSE I WANT TO! BECAUSE I WANT TO!
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:44, Reply)
she's smokin'
oh man, and Iddo Goldberg that played in Secret Diary, he is so fucking hot oh my god
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
So she is

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)
I've seen a few bits of her prossie program and she has a great body

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
She does nothing for me at all.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)
She has a lantern jaw which I normally like.
But no.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
She's no 'Lorry' Driver.
ARE YOU GETTING HUNGRY YET?
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)
Oh yeah.
Going for a few liveners at five. Should be starving by 7.30.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:49, Reply)
Have you been to Tayyabs before?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
About 6 months ago for lunch.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Excellent isn't it?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:57, Reply)
There's a girl at my school who looks like Billie Piper
but even fitter.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)
Anne Widdecombe is even fitter than Billie Piper.
Although I'd still shag her, just so I could demand violent anal - and when she tearfully asks me why I'd want such a thing, I could say

'BECAUSE I WANT TO, BECAUSE I WANT TO'
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
The best of all the anal.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
you would, effectively
be stirring Chris Evans' porridge though. THINK ABOUT THAT.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)
Victoria Coren
I saw her at the station the other day; cracking rack
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:45, Reply)
I love Victoria Coren
She's nowhere near a borderline boiler.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)
I see what you're saying!
4.bp.blogspot.com/_3vCIjQkMqvM/TOXKipW1PDI/AAAAAAAAB-w/iqyDPGSibxs/s400/victoria_coren_cleavage.jpg
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:46, Reply)
OH MY GOD YOU'RE A VIRGIN TOO!

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
you do know that reads as if you're a virgin
and you're amazingly glad to have found a little virgin pal to play with, don't you? Maybe if you're super nice to him you can both loose your V-Plates together.

That said, of course he fucking is, he's 16 and hideous.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Ugh. Juden.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Haha!

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:48, Reply)
Is her brother Giles?
I'd finger her and force him to lick my finger.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Yes. He is a terrible, terrible cunt of a man.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
I like the cut of your jib

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)
Come on.
FUCKING LICK IT!
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)
End THIS on an unstressed syllable you FUCKING CUNT.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
Best rant eva

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)
like zorro

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:01, Reply)
I would fucking ruin her

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)
I tried this a couple of weeks ago and got bollocked for saying Sarah Silverman
Apparently she's not borderline but a full on hottie.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:47, Reply)
Sarah Silverman, the fat bird from Location Location Location and for some reason, Mandy from accounts.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:50, Reply)
Mandy from accounts goes like a belt sander.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Who is the DIY show always preggers channel 4 bird?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)
Sarah Beeny?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)
See below.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)
That's the one.
Preferably 7 1/2 months pregnant.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)
8 months would just be wrong

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
You've got to have standards.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Kirstie Allsopp would get it big time. As would Beenie.
Apart from when she's pregnant and covered in cold sores.

Actually I still would.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)
You could help her with a property redevelopment by kicking her back doors in.
*Lad LOLZ*
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
"knock down a couple of interior walls and re-plaster her facade" ?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
Hahahah

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
POTD

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
To add value I've rendered her face

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
She has spat out so many kids, I'd imagine her clunge is like Nikki Lauda's ears.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:57, Reply)
She's always fucking pregnant though.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:13, Reply)
Kirsty Allsop
She's filth. Guaranteed.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:53, Reply)
I'd still go for her, despite being a filthy Tory.
It's the voice I think. God that's a sexy voice. It's like liquid chocolate infused with honey.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:57, Reply)
Charlie Brooker
but that might just be because he's funny
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Berts sister

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:52, Reply)
I used to have a major crush on Woody Allen.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)
You sick fuck.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
He made me laugh. *shrugs*

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
How?
Did he fall over in the street? Or get his fingers slammed in a car door?
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Here's an even crazier idea:
He made a tiresome, self-induglent film in which he played a neurotic New York Jewish man who has problems relating to women?
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)
I was young and confused OK!!!!!

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
Back when he was just breaking into the business?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
Or breaking into his adopted daughter?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
Dawn French
Although I don't know if she counts as borderline.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:54, Reply)
She crosses many borders
She's the only female visible from space
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:55, Reply)
I liked Viz's tagline for that
'your brain says no but your nuts say go'

your mum
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
Just the usual
Billie Piper and Sarah Beenie.

The way Beenie says the word "profit" sends me straight to Def Con Bongle.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:56, Reply)
"I Like This".

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
i like beenie boobies

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:09, Reply)
Hahahahahahahah

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Minnie Driver would totally get it.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Minnie Driver?
She's got a jaw-line that can be seen from space!
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:59, Reply)
She has a rhombus face cf Ellis-Bextor

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
breaking news - Sophie Ellis-Bextor found dead in the house of retired French footballer.
Turns out it's murder on Zidane's floor.

/gets coat.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)
Every time somebody posts something like this I think "comedy has reached its lowest ebb"
and then some other cunt goes and proves me wrong.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)
And that 'other cunt' is usually me.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)
Don't care. Totally would
Also Julia and Nadia Sawalha.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:02, Reply)
Oh really?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:04, Reply)
I could cut glass right now.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:06, Reply)
I'm sure you'd like her to
huh huh give you head
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)
Claire Grogan
Sorry
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Sir, you go to far.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
You could use Clare Grogan's face
to go mining.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:00, Reply)
simon pegg, nick frost, seth rogan, jonah hill, michael cera

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:01, Reply)
Seth Rogan!!!!!
Yes!!!
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:01, Reply)
ahh, so that's his demographic
I've often wondered, because he seems to keep making films, but I never understood who bought them, and there I thought you had taste.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:03, Reply)
I didn't say I liked his films.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:04, Reply)
well, this is something but still...
I feel soiled for sending you my nipples now.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)
only the porn films

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:06, Reply)
Zack and Miri?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:08, Reply)
i have never heard of these
sad to say I am not 'into film'
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:08, Reply)
it's about 2 friends who decideto make a porno
stars Seth whatsit and some forgettable blonde bint, never seen it but will bet my left nut it's as dismal as it sounds.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:11, Reply)
I'm sure I will never watch it

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)
I'd rather watch my own innnards slithering out of a massive abdominal wound than watch that.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)
more or less my feelings on the matter
there's a whole class of 'films' i'm only aware of because of their appearance on the side of buses, see also Bad Teacher.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:29, Reply)
Quite so.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:36, Reply)
Stop agreeing with me you old Nazi
you'll destroy my commie-veggie-cycling-pinko credentials
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:43, Reply)
Good god woman, have you no standerds
And don't say they are funny, no one wants a a series of hilarious one liners when they're having their dirt track lime morterd
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:03, Reply)
geek, chubby, awkward, cute

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:11, Reply)
just no

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:04, Reply)
Kirsty McColl.
After the jetski accident.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:01, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1077371#post1077383
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:02, Reply)
Sue Barker
Although she may be getting on a bit now...
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:02, Reply)
You've got competition
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxMeMPvH3EU
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:07, Reply)
oh! that skinny comedian
that's sometimes on mock the week and was in a series about scientists in a university
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:05, Reply)
Russell Howard?
I like Lucy Porter, she's been on Mock the Week before.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:10, Reply)
nope
but, yes, I'd do him too.

The one I'm thinking of is tall and has black curly hair
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:16, Reply)
Is he in the thick of it?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)
don't know
I never saw it
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)
wait - yes he was
Chris Addison
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:21, Reply)
He's a dreadful standup. Not funny at all.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:35, Reply)
never seen him do stand up
but I wouldn't trust your opinion anyway
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:37, Reply)
My old school pal Paul McCaffrey opened for her on her last tour.
He's a funny chap himself.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)
Lucy Porter is fucking lovely

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:18, Reply)
i think if I fancied girls
I'd fancy her
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:18, Reply)
Andy hamilton?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:13, Reply)
*pisses pants*

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:17, Reply)
Has your home help not turned up again Monters?

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:20, Reply)
it's a shame the way they treat
old war heroes now a days
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:26, Reply)
She's working today, Dav.

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:28, Reply)
Report her to social services.
Or Panorama.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:32, Reply)
Benedict Cumberbatch
Matt Smith. Both completely bizarre looking, but I still would.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:23, Reply)
I'd do matt smith
but I'd be thinking about DAvid Tennant
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:25, Reply)
Whereas I'd do the ginger companion who is in it at the moment
But I'd be thinking about K9.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:26, Reply)
*snort*

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:26, Reply)
Well, there is that
Hell, I'd do Matt Smith and be thinking about his girlfriend. Daisy Lowe is fucking stunning, I'd quite cheerfully wear my tongue to a nubbin on her.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:26, Reply)
Kate McCann

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:30, Reply)
There is something about the distressed catholic MILF that works for me as well.
See also, Louise Woodward.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:31, Reply)
I do fancy Katy Perry, and....
even that picture of her after she had been woken up is fanciable.
(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 17:59, Reply)

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