Evening all
Please tell me below about your memories of orange wagon wheels. Everyone remembers them. Everyone except bender and americans

alt: is there a ruder sounding fruit than kumquat?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 17:54, 105 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

i am at least one of those things
You can figure out which
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 17:56, Reply)

do you even get wagon wheels?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 17:58, Reply)

yeah
they tend to go on wagons
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:18, Reply)

You are the Kenny Senior of OT

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 17:56, Reply)

*googles*
this means nothing to me, I have never seen Phoenix nights. Bender
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 17:58, Reply)

Skip straight to 3 minutes
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbmA8YZFkTg
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:02, Reply)

I like you, Jeff.
You're a good man. But Phoenix Nights is the televisiual equivalent of listlessly pumping away at toothless smack-addled hooker on a stained matress just because you know you've reached rock bottom and you can't see any way up.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:06, Reply)

That's as maybe.
But Captain is still full of LIES.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:22, Reply)

are you implying I'm retconning
orange wagon wheels into existence?! THis is a lie!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:07, Reply)

If there is no proof that the orange wagon wheel ever existed then it doesn't exist.
I'm more inclined to think there might be something in organised religion than in your fundamentalist views on wafers.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:21, Reply)

hater
just because you were denied them as a child, kept from the truth which would set you free of plain wagon wheels
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:24, Reply)

I was only denied them because they didn't exist.
'Mum! When you go shopping, can you get some orange Wagon Wheels?'

'Sorry young Jeff, I can't do that because they don't exist'

'But some LARPER on the Internet says they do'

'Listen son, not everything you read on the Internet is true, some people lie online, and others are mentally ill and think they are telling the truth, whereas in actual fact, they are just one trauma away from mass murder.'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:29, Reply)

your mum lied to you
plus how come you had a time computer as a child which could communicated with people in the future? Perhaps it was that being so expensive which meant that your mum couldn't shell out for orange wagon wheels
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:31, Reply)

Because I was visited by Chocky as a child, and he told me.
You shared your imaginary Orange Wagon Wheels with your friend Stig. At his house, which was at the dump.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:34, Reply)

I think we know now who is the most
reliable narrator

by which i mean I am
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:43, Reply)

Have you found anyone else who remembers orange wagon wheels?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:46, Reply)

not yet
I might ask my brother next

edit: YES! my brother remembers them!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:48, Reply)

OK, I've written an email and sent it
"At the risk of sounding completely mad, I need verification about wagon wheels in the 80s. Not that they were bigger in the olden days, which I'm sure you get asked all the time, but that a delicious orange version existed. I'm sure I remember them, even how they tasted, but I can find no reference online and only myself and my brother seem to recall them.

Please validate my childhood memory, or rid me of this delusion"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:58, Reply)

Right. So your imaginary brother remembers your imaginary Wagon Wheels.
It was these sort of voices that made Peter Sutcliffe a bit hammer happy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:08, Reply)

just you wait until I get a reply
my brother doesn't have an account on here, but he'd confirm their existence if he was.

In fact if you were coming to the bash saturday I could get him to turn up just to prove you wrong
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:09, Reply)

As per our conversation about 'going for a Wimpy' of yesterday
I'm only going to be able to make the bash boyce at the moment.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:19, Reply)

yeah, I know
perhaps I could get him to turn up to that.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:30, Reply)

And again in 'been here too long' news
I read that as 'get him to touch you up'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:19, Reply)

:(

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:30, Reply)

the analsex fruit.
wagon wheels are proletarian.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:04, Reply)

is it brown?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:19, Reply)

only if you don't wash it.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:21, Reply)

only quenders like orange wagon wheels.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:22, Reply)

so! you admit they exist!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:23, Reply)

of course they exist.
Darth, Graham Norton, Gorden Kaye, Alan Carr. All high grade quenders. Don't remember orange wagon.wheels though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:35, Reply)

I honestly can't remember them
but it's been a good 25 years since I had any interest in Wagon Wheels, and when I did have them, they were at least eight inches across.

Alt: ugli fruit sounds rude - impolite rude, not sexeh rude.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:25, Reply)

are you talking about wagon wheels
or penises?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:28, Reply)

I couldn't tell you how big penises were when I was a girl
being as I didn't have one, and wasn't often shown any.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:40, Reply)

it is ugly, mind

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:32, Reply)

isn't it also called a Sharon?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:41, Reply)

hu hu
if I knew someone called sharon this would be funnier
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:42, Reply)

I remember back when I was a lass
'Sharon' was an insult. So were 'Tracey' and 'Kevin'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:51, Reply)

+ Nigel

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:08, Reply)

Haha I know a Nigel.
He's actually quite lovely, though weird.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:18, Reply)

Does he work on the pier?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:19, Reply)

No, he lives in Lincolnshire.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:20, Reply)

I know a Nigel too
Scariest looking geezer you've ever seen, but thoroughly decent cove under his tattoo sleeves and bright red face.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:22, Reply)

Never heard of them
ALT: twat fruit
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 18:43, Reply)

I've no recollection of such a confection
But biscuits weren't a big thing in The Disappointed's ancestral home.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:24, Reply)

chalk up one more
For "I don't remember them" I'm afraid, sould plausible, but no memory of then and I'm the right age to do so.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:22, Reply)

I think I vaguely remember them
but since they are vile things, I had no interest in them. Give me a nice Tunnocks Caramel or a Viscount any day, if we're talking retro biscuits...
(berk, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:25, Reply)

YES! that makes 3!
I could totally go for a tunnocks caramel, too. I think they still exist
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:31, Reply)

So the 'orange wagon wheel' is only remembered by you, berk and your imaginary brother.
Even though Wikipedia list all the varieties of Wagon Wheel, and orange isn't one of them, you still think you're right.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:37, Reply)

they only have current flavours on there

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:47, Reply)

Tunnocks Caramel definitely still exist
they even do a grown up version in dark chocolate now.
(berk, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:41, Reply)

I used to have a Tunnocks Caramel when I took a packed lunch to school.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:45, Reply)

Me too.
Or a Viscount. Or a Club.
(berk, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:49, Reply)

or a penguin

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:50, Reply)

We rarely had club biscuits as we could never agree what the best one was.
I liked both the mint and the fruit club*, but my sister liked the orange one.

*I went off the fruit club when I was told that they contained dead flies.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:02, Reply)

you're kidding?!
that's a reason to like them
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:24, Reply)

Viscounts aren't retro
I occasionally buy a pack of mint Viscounts if I'm feeling particularly raffish.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:31, Reply)

Wagon Wheels are horrible
nasty soft biscuit and that horrible foamy mallow stuff. Grim. I'll tell you what else was nasty, those teacake things. They were semi-spherical and came in red and white foil with a star on top.

Both minged.
( Kroney, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:38, Reply)

That would be the Tunnocks tea-cake to which you refer.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:39, Reply)

I expect there was an orange variety of those too, Jeff.

( Kroney, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:41, Reply)

Yeah, on 'Planet Cruchy'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:45, Reply)

you know, I think there were

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:47, Reply)

Are you sure you're not just thinking of Jaffa Cakes?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:50, Reply)

i am now
yummy yummy jaffa cakes.

And now, thanks to rhyming, I am thinking of gaffa tape
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:51, Reply)

I do rhyming biscuit association too.
I could do with a nice Tuc.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:53, Reply)

Jaffa cakes are manky.
See also raspberry jaffa cakes, and square jaffa cakes, which are not as posh as some people seem to think they are.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:53, Reply)

today I partook
of marks and spencer jaffa cakes

I felt very middle class
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:54, Reply)

they're nice but the packaging is ridiculous
which they highlight by always selling them in pairs
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:05, Reply)

Jaffa cakes posh?
Who would ever think such a thing?
( Kroney, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:54, Reply)

I was raised as a prole.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:57, Reply)

yes, I'm pretty sure there were Orange Wagon Wheels.
(just pouring lizards, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:56, Reply)

THAT MAKES 4!
YOU HEAR ME, JEFF, FOUR!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 19:57, Reply)

I want proof.
Not a selection of geeks who are siding with a WOMAN ON THE INTERNET. (With the exception of berk, who is also siding with you, but then you wimmin always stick together).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:01, Reply)

If it's any help at all I don't remember orange wagon wheels.
But I have taken drugs in my past and a lot of it is hazy.
( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:02, Reply)

Thank you Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:03, Reply)

for that you must wait for my glorious reply from Burton's Biscuits
which will surely arrive in the next few days
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:05, Reply)

I didn't realise you'd written to them.
I've just posted their address below.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:07, Reply)

already sent
www.africam.com/wildlife/the_boma_chit_chat_forum_saturday_5_march_2011?page=7

search the page

and this - en-gb.facebook.com/pages/I-love-Wagon-Wheels/101932803227323?v=info
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:08, Reply)

how many of those ten people are you?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:12, Reply)

none of them...yet

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:14, Reply)

Hmmm.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:20, Reply)

Silly Jeff
There are no women on the internet.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:20, Reply)

How do you explain this Russian woman then?
She keeps emailing me with "A sexy photograph and to marry maybe?"

She's smitten with me. Smitten, I tell yer...
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:25, Reply)

all lies.
I is a woman.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:25, Reply)

on here maybe
but that real life meat-world body, you know the 45 year old trucker, is the one he really means
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:27, Reply)

shh!
Don't tell anyone.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:28, Reply)

Of course there are women on the internet, sadly they're exclusively fat, ugly, needy and whiney

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:31, Reply)

I always though the rule was
Single, attractive, emotionally stable: pick two.

Edit: come to think of it, that's life, not just the internet.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:32, Reply)

on the internet
pick one?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:34, Reply)

well I can only say
you've always seemed quite sane to me.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:34, Reply)

HAHHAHAHHAHAH

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:36, Reply)

oh dear

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:37, Reply)

Friday optimism is in the air I see

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:35, Reply)

come on
most of them/us are single
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:36, Reply)

You must be cheating on your WOW druidmagus level 49 husband again!!!!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:40, Reply)

I don't do WOW!
(despite the rumour amongst my students the other week)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:41, Reply)

a woman with a penis.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:30, Reply)

well, maybe just a little one
but surely that doesn't count.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:31, Reply)

if you tuck it back we're good to go

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:33, Reply)

Awesome
Gaz me your home address I;ll lube up and get the bucket of soapy frogs.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:34, Reply)

Soapytitwank?

( girlinthehole, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:36, Reply)

oh alright then

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:38, Reply)

With frogs
An interesting twist on an old favourite.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:38, Reply)

bit of trivia:
My favourite imaginary Bond Girl is called Soapy Titwank, I can just hear Sean Connery (best of all the bonds) saying "Oh Shoapy".
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:38, Reply)

this will be useful
in the "Stuff Comrade Quixote Thinks Sometimes" round of the pub quiz
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:47, Reply)

Captain.
We can settle this once and for all.

www.burtonsfoods.com/

All we need to do is either e-mail them at [email protected] or send Roota round to their offices in Wirral.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 20:06, Reply)