I'm fucked off.
Fucking technology.

Cheer me up. That's an order.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:18, 113 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I hope you've got AIDS.

( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:27, Reply)

If I have got it, I got it from your mum
*Obvious answer is obvious*

What route does the Bristol half marathon take in, berk said you were running it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:29, Reply)

It starts in Bristol
and then it ends next to the start in Bristol.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:32, Reply)

I could have arranged some heckling/cider for you mid-way.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:35, Reply)

I'm bringing support with me
and a few other b3tans are coming along.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:36, Reply)

If you're doing this 'fun run' or a worthy cause, you'll have to say.
I'll enjoy turning down your request for sponsorship.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:37, Reply)

I'm not doing it for sponsorship
I can't be fucked with sponsored shit.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:40, Reply)

In which case, I only wish you mild cramp and a few blisters.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:43, Reply)

If that's all I get, I'll be happy
I'm expecting stress fractures and bleeding nipples.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:47, Reply)

Well don't go drinking with Darth before you set off then.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:49, Reply)

I was going to ask him about the best kinds of lube to use
because he's such a massive "runner". He really loves "running".
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:51, Reply)

*tickles*
did I make you smile?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:28, Reply)

No.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:29, Reply)

*strips*
How about now?

So what's technology done to piss you off then?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

I'm twenty years too old to be able to take a mobile phone out of a box, charge it and use it.
That's what.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:33, Reply)

It allowed him to see you naked
and the shock has hurt his brain
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:33, Reply)

That should have made him laugh, though.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Are you throwing yourself to a certain death this weekend?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:43, Reply)

Next weekend.
As long as it isn't too windy. Apparently the crane doesn't like windy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Make sure you take some photos.
I've seen on the telly that it's the done thing for someone to throw your camera off the top of the crane and for you to jump off after it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:53, Reply)

I'm going to take photos from the top of the crane
and mr b3th is going to video the jump from below. Or take burst photos.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Take a burst., what?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:06, Reply)

ask Cavy.
It's when you take ten photos a second instead of one.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:07, Reply)

although most cameras won't handle more than 4 or 5 a second
and compacts/bridge cameras need some recovery time for processing

/boring
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:08, Reply)

He'll probably have his DSLR

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:09, Reply)

Docklands Light Railway, what?
While taking a burst?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:10, Reply)

He's got a proper long zoom lens for it
He looks like a fucking paparazzo when he uses it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:12, Reply)

They're usually 4 or 5 a second
depending on the exposure
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:12, Reply)

Yeah, I just point and click, me.
He's the expert in the family.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:16, Reply)

alright JeffTheDogFucker

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:29, Reply)

No I'm fucking not.
Orange sent me a new phone about 6 months ago, I thought this evening I'd set it up and start using it, turns out I can't easily copy my contacts from one to the other.

So I've wasted valuable drinking time getting fuck all done.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Can you use something like outlook to synchronise the contacts between the two?

( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:47, Reply)

I'll synchronise YOUR contacts in a minute.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:52, Reply)

Yeah, you'd fucking love it.

( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:55, Reply)

No idea.
I'll get one of the IT geeks to sort it out for me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:55, Reply)

can't you do something like copy them all to the sim card
and then just put the sim in the new phone?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:03, Reply)

You'd imagine so.
But no. It's not that easy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:04, Reply)

Back when Ghostbusters was in the cinema..
A few friends and I entered (what we thought was) an empty cinema (at mid-tier level) singing the Ghostbusters theme tune at full volume whilst skipping down the aisle. The full half of the cinema was most amused with our performance.

I seriously miss 50p Monday nights at the Curzon.

I have this joke about a really shit zoo that only has a dog if you fancy that?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:29, Reply)

I'll bet it's a shitzjoke.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

There is...er, no doubt
Christopher Ecclestone shoud've done another season of Who rather than films like Gone In Sixty Seconds. 'The Carpenter' indeed.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:06, Reply)

I'll cheer you up, how about this monstrosity.
I uploaded my picture to Fight Night on the PS3 last night, so I could play as myself in the game. Nothing quite like watching a virtual version of yourself get his head caved in by Mike Tyson. This is the picture I uploaded (old Fulham ski hat just in view there, also how handsome am I etc etc): tinyurl.com/3o9tgeq That's not me sticking two fingers up, by the way.

And this is what Fight Night reckons I look like: tinyurl.com/3rtqvpc Absolutely fucking terrifying.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Hahahaha
I've seen better 1980s photofits!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:34, Reply)

I'm totally gonna be round your way this weekend.
I might nick something as a tribute.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Go and piss on the Jacko statue.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:34, Reply)

That's not in Newcastle.

( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:37, Reply)

Have a massive piss. It'll make it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:44, Reply)

it's Thom Yorke-ified you

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:58, Reply)

*dances*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:33, Reply)

*Hopes the wolves react*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:34, Reply)

it's allabout the dragons these days

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:35, Reply)

Alright Boyo!
There's lovely.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:36, Reply)

damit, not those kind of dragons!
www.amazon.co.uk/Dance-Dragons-Book-Song-Fire/dp/0002247399
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:39, Reply)

When are you being interviewed for your job?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:45, Reply)

Well I should get a letter tomorrow
I think it's next week, but I don't know officially
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:46, Reply)

You're being interviewed by letter?
I know Wales is a bit backward, but that seems beyond weird.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:47, Reply)

hehe, no, silly, the one that tells me when the interview is

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:53, Reply)

Make sure you take a bit of lucky coal to the interview with.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:54, Reply)

pff! that's what santa give you if you're naughty

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:57, Reply)

Well I hope you get the job.
Then you'll have paid holidays and stuff!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:03, Reply)

thank you!
if i don't get it, i have no job :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:08, Reply)

I don't get it.
Generally speaking.
In related news, I have applied for a fill-in 'job'. I can't even bring myself to say what it is, because it will be shit. Which is usually a good indication I will have to do it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:21, Reply)

I've been doing a job as a supply lecturer since February last year
In January this year the woman I was covering finally quit and since then the college has been dragging its heels and not offered me a contract. They have to advertise the job and did so like a month or so ago. Now they are dragging their heels at interviewing me.

26 people applied. I should get it, but I can't handle imagining being better than 25 other people.

Wow, I'm all about hte dull posts tonight. I'm on the popular page TWICE though!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:28, Reply)

You probably know this already, but make sure you say in your interview exactly what you've already done in the job
When we were doing our PGCE, my friend went for the job she had been doing as a student. She didn't make a fuss about how she already knew teh school, the students, and the staff while she was in the interview, becaus ethe guy who was interviewing her already knew that.

He told her afterwards teh reason she didn't get the job is because she never said any of it.

If there's any of term left, get the students to write you a reference.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:32, Reply)

no, we finished last week
shame, the a few of the students were like "we'd go on strike if you didn't get the job!" which was sweet since they had no more assignments to be marked
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:33, Reply)

D'Oh!
And on that bombshell, I'm off to bed. Saggy tits, and goodnight.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:35, Reply)

night!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:40, Reply)

alright dude?
Is this the point where Woodside and I start discussing underground shit from the 90s? Is Rory about? He's a good egg, as well as a massive cunt.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:35, Reply)

Yeah, just fucked off because I failed to set up a new phone.
Yeah, you, Woodside and Rory get the 90s, I get to talk shite about 80s telly with Roota.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:37, Reply)

if I make it to Montybash in October, I'll be dropping a fair amount of 90s wax.
Followed by some breaks. Breakbeat is lying low right now, it will come back.

The 90s stuff will mainly be original Mo Wax pressings.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:42, Reply)

Oh shit, you're making me really regret not going now.

( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:44, Reply)

it's alright al, no doubt Monty will play some hilariously outdated poodle rock.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:51, Reply)

I need to book a hotel for the bash.
I'll try and remember to do that next week.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:45, Reply)

Oh don't worry Jeff
you can stay at mine.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Tell ya what, if you're away that weekend.
Why not give me your address, my mate 'Barry from EastEnders' will keep an eye on your valuable.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:48, Reply)

No worries
I'll be at home, I'm just not going. I'll come and pick you up afterwards if you like.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:50, Reply)

You're alright. You've probably got a cat.
What's your excuse for not bothering with it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:52, Reply)

Errrr, don't want to go.

( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:57, Reply)

I'm certainly not going for the music.
I've worked out what I'm going to get Monty as a birthday gift.

I reckon he'll love it. It is beyond generous.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:59, Reply)

You're goingto buy him a George the Bear costume, aren't you?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:17, Reply)

LOVE IN THE NINETIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES, IS PARANOOOOOOOOOID!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:51, Reply)

I was well underground in them days.
I loved Atari Teenage Riot, Ruby, Jesus Lizard, Pavement, Mogwai, Mo Wax, Metalheadz, Tricky, Coal Chamber, Good Looking, that sort of thing.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:00, Reply)

The other day, at work
I dropped some pliers and caught them against my chest, trapping my right nipple in the jaws.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 22:59, Reply)

that'll learn you
put your tits away
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:01, Reply)

+Through my shirt
Fucking pliers
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:05, Reply)

ow!
that's shocking bad luck, you'll be wanting some sudocrem and a plaster on that.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:16, Reply)

Earlier the same day
I had been dismantling a huge metal rack. I'd just got the innards out when I dropped my spanner, producing an effect not unlike sticking my head inside a church bell.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:19, Reply)

huge rack?
jesus dude, you're a health & safety nightmare.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:28, Reply)

Well I never knew that
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-14232970
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:00, Reply)

russians are hardcore

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:02, Reply)

i'm watching Push
Hope this helps
If not I'm sure blousie will waggle for you
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:05, Reply)

I enjoyed Push, but it wasn't great
Needed more humour, too bleak and Blade-Runnery
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:08, Reply)

i'm pretty sure i've laughed watching it
Less of a haha and more of a heh heh
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:10, Reply)

I remember some asian dudes screaming
..which had some kind of effect or other. It really is an unmemorable film.

I remember Chris Evans in it and he might hit paydirt with Captain America this year. The early reviews look good and the director helmed The Rocketeer (which is excellent, if you ask me)
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:15, Reply)

I thought that small child, errr, Dakota Fanning?
I thought she was good in that film.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:11, Reply)

Do you remember a series she was in as a very wee nipper
called 'Taken'? All sort of Roswell UFO-type stuff. Very good, apart from a bizarre giant CGI squirrel...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:15, Reply)

small child lol
She's pretty good at acting
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:16, Reply)

Surprisingly so.
Her and Abigail Breslin are the best child actors I've seen in a long while.
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:25, Reply)

how Jeff? you are too complicated and mysterious.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:07, Reply)

i like this

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:11, Reply)

that puts you in the minority.
what's up dawg? How cold will it be in Chicago in October? Will caterpillar boots be enough?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:15, Reply)

Chicago?
From what I remember of ER, you'll freeze your fucking tits off.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Thought so, just wondering if it's mental cold.
How are you mate?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:19, Reply)

i hear the wind blows up and so it's very col
I don't even know what a catapillar boot is

How long will you be there?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:18, Reply)

9 weeks I think, maybe ten. Workmans boot. Like timberland but not bent.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:19, Reply)

oh duh kristine
October won't be bad but november and the beginning of december will be

Will you be there for thanksgiving?
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:23, Reply)

don't know when that is mate?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:25, Reply)

Early December
if you're a merkin. Another time if your a Canadian
( Bazongaloid, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:26, Reply)

Third Thursday in November, silly
Duh.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:26, Reply)

this
But I meant more of "will you be going elsewhere" rather than a time frame
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:30, Reply)

I might see some family and stuff, when I get the dates I will make a plan.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:31, Reply)

that may be the only time i'll be able to make it there

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:38, Reply)

By the Holy Breasts of Grapthar
I must away to sleep
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 21 Jul 2011, 23:51, Reply)