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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I have a sparkling clean house and chocolate buttons.
What do you have?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:09, 99 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
A very handsome face.
And suavery skills to the illest level.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:12, Reply)
*nods sagely*
How are you today Gonz?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:14, Reply)
I am not Gonz.
I am Dozer. Hence the 'P to the Dizzle'.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:37, Reply)
to be fair, your name looks like his
And he's probably had it before
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:42, Reply)
Sorry my bad.
But Gonz is the only male B3tan I could think off who's suave etc.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 14:41, Reply)
Oi!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 15:03, Reply)
double oi!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 15:13, Reply)
GET IN THERE

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 15:42, Reply)
Meh.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Spot-on.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:32, Reply)
I have a heart that's close to beating out of my chest.
Christ I wish I could get to sleep.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:17, Reply)
Drugs are bad mkay!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:19, Reply)
A hangover
and some clean work shirts. Afternoon!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:29, Reply)
a sparkling clean arse
Just showered lulz

Did you get your hair cut?
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:41, Reply)
I did.
Pics on FB.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)
and it looks good!

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 14:46, Reply)
Hand Made Hand Rolled Pasta !
OH GEE OH GOSH OH MY, I AM _SOOOOO_ SWELL !
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:48, Reply)
in real life, do you say these things? oh gee, oh gosh and that?
I imagine you do, and it makes me happy
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 13:50, Reply)
I'm afraid to disapoint you, I don't, or at least, not very often.
I have a new recipy though that you should check out =D

www.coll3ctive.co.uk/food/recipes/paulypops/teryakki-ish-rice-with-scallops-cashew-nuts-and-some-veg/
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 14:06, Reply)
A filthy woman with sparkling clean buttons.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 14:23, Reply)
a pasty and some crisps
and a brief for an interview which is looking at me accusingly
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 14:40, Reply)
I am making motherfucking jam, motherfuckers

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 14:58, Reply)
aren't you mean to use berries?

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 14:58, Reply)
Not enough berries, too many motherfuckers

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 14:59, Reply)
then that sounds like a good use for them

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 15:01, Reply)
A pocket full of money
and my boots on, ready to go to the pub.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 15:04, Reply)
Disco biscuits, five pound a pair

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 15:07, Reply)

biscuits trousers
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 15:10, Reply)
I love disco biscuits.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 15:14, Reply)
how much for a cold hard shag?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 15:24, Reply)
Sounds expensive Rory.
Aldi will do you 6 for a quid.


(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:25, Reply)
those are yummy

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:43, Reply)
I was telling some people about how I had internet friends
last night and one asked "what's b3ta?"
His girlfriend replied

"Well, you know how 4chan is for trolls? Well b3ta is for elite nerds"

Guys! We're elite nerds! (and that came from a larper)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:46, Reply)
we need some motherfucking badges or some shit.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:49, Reply)
get to it
fellow elite nerd!
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:50, Reply)
ok I bloody will

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:56, Reply)
I think you'll find it was just you being called an 'elite nerd'
And the fact that you were called an elite nerd by a fellow larper probably puts you in your own, special category.

Sorry Captain.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:58, Reply)
too late! Bobby's making badges
we're an elite nerd fighting force, now
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 16:59, Reply)
Well, if Bob is making badges, then that is an altogether different story.
Not.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:03, Reply)
Hold on, hold on.
I don't mind being an elite nerd force, but nobody said anything about fighting.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:08, Reply)
when the revolution comes
we'll need all the bodies we can get
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:10, Reply)
My body is of no conceivable use to anybody.
In other news, there is pie and chips in the oven. Get in!
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:12, Reply)
How did the jump go?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:17, Reply)
It's next Sunday.
The countdown is now on.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:19, Reply)
No it isn't.
It's 'Help! My house if falling down' followed by 'Deal or No Deal' I don't think Countdown is on at weekends.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:21, Reply)
We seem to be watching celebrity Bargain Hunt
the 'celebrities' in question being Eddie Large and Johnny Ball.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:24, Reply)
I have soime pork chops in the oven and The Fox and the Hound on TV
I'm summoning the energy to make good with the clippers 'bout head and chin.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:00, Reply)
The Karate Flid in on Channel 5.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:03, Reply)
*has no fear in his dojo*
Nice tip Jeff-san, but I'm planning on some Dirty Dozen action after this one.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:23, Reply)
A nice bit of Sunday porn eh?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:31, Reply)
"I can't make it \Major!"

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:37, Reply)
A clean bathroom, clean dishes, clean clotheses
and an empty tummy : (
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:06, Reply)
So you've been for a massive shit.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:06, Reply)
hahaha
Oh, what a wag.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:08, Reply)
hey b3th
You know how I'm in peak physical condition and have great eyesight and a 2.1?

Well it also appears I have supped from the Fountain of Youth. I got carded today because she didn't believe I was 31.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:26, Reply)
You've also supped from the fountain of smug.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:28, Reply)
I just like to keep you abreast of how great I am.
I know how you like hearing it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:29, Reply)
*pokes tongue out*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:30, Reply)
I can roll my tongue, too.
Turns out not many people can. I am not surprised that I'm one of those happy few.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:30, Reply)
all your Kroney-pops
must have some good side effects
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:31, Reply)
I have no idea how I manage to remain so grounded and humble, Cavy.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:35, Reply)
the same way any live wire would be grounded
using the earth
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:37, Reply)
by *being earthed*
would have been a better way to put this

or perhaps *grounded*
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:39, Reply)
I felt considerably younger last night.
Due to having to borrow my younger brother's fake ID to get into a club despite the fact I'm twenty. I really need to sort out getting my passport replaced.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:03, Reply)
Either that, or grow a beard.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:04, Reply)
I can't grow a beard.
It looks like I've pritt-sticked pubes to my face.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:06, Reply)
Well on the plus side, by the time you're in your late 30s, you'll still look like you are in your 20s.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:13, Reply)
Or like you've gone down on a cancer patient after eating a glazed doughnut.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:53, Reply)
i feel old
no one is surprised when I say I'm over 30 any more :(
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:07, Reply)
Or stop going to shit clubs.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:37, Reply)
I never go to shit clubs.
Only trendy up their own arses gaffs. I fit in well.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:39, Reply)
So not the kind where the door staff try and let as few male customers in as possible?

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:41, Reply)
No, I can't think of anywhere more depressing that establishments like that.
I'm usually fine getting into places without ID but it was my mate's birthday so I didn't want to take the risk not having any.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:49, Reply)
You go to Craven Cottage...
*Shit club lolz*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:41, Reply)
On one of our boards earlier today there was a topic about being allowed to drink in the stands.
Someone was spouting off saying alcohol and football are a violent combination. I replied that alcohol and football/Fulham are a fucking essential combination.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:52, Reply)
hahaha
I'm not sure I want to see drinking back as part of the viewing experience. Since everything went all-seater, it's annoying enough having to get up to let someone go for a piss, without them needing to go every 10 minutes.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:57, Reply)
The only thing I'd change is being allowed to drink in executive boxes. Not that it'll make a blind bit of difference to me.
But I just think it's ridiculous. I snuck into one our boxes at some rubbish home game a couple of years ago (got thrown out pretty sharpish), and if you wanted a beer you had to go back into the box and draw the blinds so you can't see anything. It's just beyond pointless.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:09, Reply)
Oh my b3th, oh my darling, perhaps one day I shall take upon a chance to quench your hunger.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:15, Reply)
The Doris reading the weather on Channel 5 is well fit.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 17:31, Reply)
I'm watching the secrets of harry potter before the pub quiz.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:05, Reply)
that'll be good for the harry potter round

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:09, Reply)
I would love a harry potter round
in a non gay way obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:10, Reply)
FUCK YEAH, PATCH ADAMS ON THE TELLY BOX

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:16, Reply)
Don't cook too much on Tuesday

(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:19, Reply)
Yup, i'll do something very simple, I promise you no more than *counts* 7 ingredients, and that includes the eggs, flower and herbs =)
And I have some cheese for afters, amazing cheese, stunning cheese.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:25, Reply)
Sounds lovely - and normal sized portions would be ace (I'm being good)
What time should I be there?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:36, Reply)
Yup, deffo, I've learnt the perfect portioning now =) Well, according to my teacher who was trained by Jamie Oliver (wow, I'm like Jamie Oliver's culonary grandchild !)....
.... aside the cheese and a small nob of butter, it'll all be perfectly healthy. I know it's a tad late, but is 7:30 OK to eat at sometime before 8 OK with you? I'll try and get home earlier though. You can help me deshell some peas to speed things up ,)
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:50, Reply)
That'll be fine - I don't usually eat until about then anyway.
As long as I can be on my way home by about 10pm, it's all good.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:21, Reply)
AbFab2DaMax !

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 20:04, Reply)
Oww man.
Mr Miyagi is totally trying to groom Daniel San. He has just given him a car.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:35, Reply)
Oh god.
Now Miyagi is warming his hands up before touching up Daniel San.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 18:50, Reply)
how do mums turn 'being encouraging'
into 'well, you're probably good but you might just fuck it up for the interview' quite so well?

is this something they are taught?
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:04, Reply)
So is your mother suggesting you might be good at the job you're currently doing.
But then again, you might not be?

(When is your Interview)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:16, Reply)
I think she is implying
that whether I am or not is irrelevant, because, you know, the one time people are watching stuff goes wrong.

i really needed that

It's Wednesday. Was fine, confidence now waning
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:20, Reply)
I now have a belly full of pork chops and The Thin Red Line on TV
Dozing is imminent.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:33, Reply)
Dozing has been imminent for me for at least six hours.
I'm battling to stay up until at least eleven so my sleeping pattern doesn't get completely mangled. Chain smoking and my brother shouting "FUCK OFF FUCK OFF ARSES FUCK OFF" at the Playstation whilst he's losing on Fifa are helping, though.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:48, Reply)
The last football game I was any good at had the Blur track 'Song 2' on the pause menu
I tell you what, The Thin Red Line is as dull and pompous as the first time I watched it. Terence Malick has an air of 'Emperors New Clothes' about him if you ask me. I liked Badlands, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:59, Reply)
I have a belly full of bbq style chili
and am watching the highlights of the Grand Prix on BBC3. Highlights is definitely the way to go with Formula One if you don't want to slump into a Sunday afternoon coma.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:37, Reply)
I know have wine and a dodgy N letter on the laptop keyboard due to over zealous cleaning.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 19:49, Reply)

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