what ho, chaps?
Share your tales of the weekend's derring do, or alternatively, discuss the misery that the coming week has in store for you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:17, 140 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have sunburn this morning.
And it's stinging like a bastard.

4 day week as I am going to Cornwall on Thursday night. Woot!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:42, Reply)

Oh you'll be fine down there with sunburn.
Everyone down there is an unemployed tin-miner, so they are used to simpletons with blackened faces, streaked with tears.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Racist

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Yes, how may I help you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Saw my daughter which was of course fucking superb.
Got my house cleaned in time for Lusty to move in, and I have to say it looks a lot better. She moved in with the minimum of fuss and we went out to lunch and drank beer in the soonsheeeine*.

*'BRIT-POP'

This week: work hell. Try to see child. Next Sunday: my father is over from the US so I am going to see him for lunch, which will be uncomfortable because I went spastic at him for forgetting my daughter's birthday last week. I am not looking forward to it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:43, Reply)

You avoided upsetting Lusty's Mum..
that can only count as a resounding success.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:47, Reply)

Some would say "miracle"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I wouldn't go that far.
She wasn't all that keen on being taken forcefully up the 'Paul Gadd' - apparently this was a minor breach of etiquette. Who knew?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Some mothers-in-law, eh?
How old is she? If you don't mind me asking.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:50, Reply)

Mid-late 50s I think.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Still young then.
I feel I have to say that, being as I am, in my dotage.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:55, Reply)

Don't forget Lusters is a mere 25.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:12, Reply)

nonce

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Lusters doesn't look a day over 23.
And is far too good for you. ;-)
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

I was going to go with paedo
but that seemed a little harsh.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

If your daughter and dad were friends on facebook it wouldn't have been a problem.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Morning all
I was out last night with Mrs Cow for our 3rd wedding anniversary. Excellent Thai green curry with monkfish cheeks and king prawns, followed by rhubarb crumble souffle served with ginger ice-cream. Fucking NOM, as they say in the restaurant trade.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:45, Reply)

Nice work.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:46, Reply)

Monkfish cheek is the Daddy.
Happy anniversary.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:47, Reply)

I've not had it before
It is fucking brilliant
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:48, Reply)

Thais go mad for that shit.
And that pharmaceutical strength Redbull.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:52, Reply)

And chick-boys.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:52, Reply)

The best of all the boys.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Friday night, had a few drinks, walked into a lamppost, had doner and chips with chilli sauce.
Saturday, had a couple of afternoon drinks (friends birthday), came home, intended on a half hour nap, woke up 4 hours later.

Yesterday, met a friend I've not seen in a while, had a laugh with them, then spent the night watching Dexter.

Not the most interesting, really.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:47, Reply)

I agree.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:53, Reply)

I'm still a bit hazy from a weekend of illness, curry and rum..
..but I could've sworn they just said on the radio people are getting tanned by using a nasal spray. Who comes up with this shit and exactly how mental do you have to be to stick unknown chemicals up your nose? Oh, hang on a minute...

And what's wrong with being pale anyway?
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:57, Reply)

This week will mainly involve running and sleeping as much as possible so it becomes Saturday as quickly as possible.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 8:57, Reply)

Didn't the guy who invented jogging, die whilst jogging?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:01, Reply)

I think I'm subconsciously depressed and trying to kill myself.
Probably.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:03, Reply)

That measures 8,517 spoons on Morrisette ironograph

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

8.517 kilospoons?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

NO! WITH A KNIFE!

( Peej, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Jim Fixx
I'm not sure anyone could lay claim to inventing jogging. He did write a book about it though en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Fixx
Bill Hicks did a routine about him which Dennis Leary stole pretty much in its entirety.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

about him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:17, Reply)

I gave my bike its yearly service
Replaced Bottom Bracket, Headset Bearings, 52T Front Chainring, Rear Cassette, Chain, Brake Blocks and it now goes like fuck again woo!

Then took my girls swimming and nearly drowned the baby! When those tv programs say that babies can swim underwater its all lies, I dunked her for a split second and she choked. What a rubbish baby!

I also ate drank and was merry but unlike Swipey I didn't have any sex, amazing or otherwise. I did however rack up a few hours on Gran Tourismo which is almost as good.

This week is a four day working week for me which is good, on Tuesday I have to mentor an aspie again which was fantastic last week, he would fit in here very well!
( Peej, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Got punked by Jeff
watched my footy team win
attended a barbecue party
got drunk and stoned but didn't fall asleep
sorted paperwork on Sunday

Pretty good really.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:18, Reply)

I read about the punking on Saturday.
Good work Jeff.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Showed the missus' nephew Star Wars for the first time yesterday
This was a genuinely fantastic experience, not least because he loved it and told me so most affectionately. I am now even more sure that I'm not having kids, as I can go through this with all the other nieces and nephews that are yet to be born without having to raise them.

But my collector's edition box set of the original trilogy has disappeared into thin fucking air.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:27, Reply)

Let me let you into a little secret:
A STORMTROOPER BUMPS HIS HEAD!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:31, Reply)

He missed that
So I rewound it and showed it to him. Several times. Until he laughed.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:38, Reply)

did he finally realise you weren't going to let it go until he reacted appropriately?
Good preparation for his future working with cunty bosses.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:47, Reply)

I didn't really
In fact I forgot about that bit until about nineteen minutes ago. I hadn't watched Star Wars in far too long until yesterday. I felt unclean.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)

My God! YOU'RE SO IN TO FILM!

( Peej, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:50, Reply)

I was trapped in a car with three very pleasant chaps when we went to Morcambe
after last weekend's wedding. Lovely chaps, but chaps who were really into 'film' - nay, 'cinema'. They discussed the Empire magazine 'app' at length - and then played a game where you had to name films starring certain people in turn. Incredibly, despite my encylopedic knowledge of 'film', I did not win.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I would really enjoy that game
for about five minutes. I think this is an acceptable level of being "into film"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)

You are wrong. It was rather bent.
I subtly pointed out the unfairness of the game by suggesting a round of 'garage punk bands 1964-6 from the Forth Worth, Texas area'. The point was made.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

A fairer analogy would be if they'd been playing a game based on the films of Terrence Malick, as opposed to the whole of cinema ever
but I do see your point
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Just always pick "the magnificent seven"
and if they quibble say, "no, not that version, the 1989 indie version set in Compton directed by Hadley Brisket".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:00, Reply)

In contrast to the previous 3 weekends
I did very little. Lots of cleaning in the flat, took apart my "new" old bike to be resprayed tomorrow, toiled with the dérailleur on my current bike, a bit of cheap cooking, Source Code (better than I thought) and a bit of Xbox.

All in all a great weekend! I feel mos' refreshed.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Hello old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:43, Reply)

Hello chum
How goes it? I'm back in the world of "got time for things apart from work and getting tired" at the moment, so if you want some drinks this week, let me know!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

You know what, that would be superb.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Let me know the day and I will be there!

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I'll text ya

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:49, Reply)

I watched Source Code on Friday
thought it was excellent
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:48, Reply)

I watched Captain America
it was rubbish.

I still have Source Code to watch though
( Peej, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:52, Reply)

I'm hoping you are wrong about Captain America
because it looks great
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Looks great
smells a bit.

It's nothing special
( Peej, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:06, Reply)

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT YOUR WIFE'S MINGE!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:07, Reply)

My wife's minge eh ladies and gentleman! I was going down on her
and I said "Wow thats a big one, wow thats a big one" She said "why did you say it twice?" I said "I didn't!"
( Peej, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:17, Reply)

'I'm 'ere all week'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

what did you think of Iron Man (1 and 2) and Thor?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:08, Reply)

I liked Iron Man and 2 and I haven't seen Thor
The trouble with Captain America is they tried to stick in too many connections for the Avengers movie like Tony Starks Dad and Nick fury etc. It just seemed like a bit set up for an Avengers film. They had a bit of build up to him getting transformed which was in no way epic, it just sort of happened, he goes in to the booth short and skinny and comes out tall and muscly. Then there's a bit of action and then its right back in to setting up for the avengers again. I don't want to spoil it too much though. Its worth a watch for the bits that look good like the dancing girls breasts and the explosions and the breasts but that's about it.
( Peej, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:15, Reply)

actually, that doesn't sound all that surprising.
I'll still give it a watch then
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:16, Reply)

explosions and the breasts?
I'm booking tickets now
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:16, Reply)

All American Gals with their all American breasts

( Peej, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I passed it off at the cinema as an Inception
ripoff, how wrong I was! Whilst we're on films, don't watch "The Veteran". Such a waste of a good premise.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I had no preconceptions, which was good
I certainly enjoyed it more than Inception.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:55, Reply)

When in reality it's a groundhog day ripoff!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

that's exactly what it is.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I went to a mini festival on Saturday, and got royally pissed.
Going to sunny Scarborough on Thursday, till next Monday. Chips, crabs - fnarr - and ice-cream.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:47, Reply)

I bought a van
went to a housewarming party
watched the Grand Prix
Played a gig.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:49, Reply)

How's the new motor working out so far?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I haven't got it yet

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)

That well, eh?
Remind me what prompted the upgrade from car to van?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:58, Reply)

my car is a piece of shit
vans can be slept in, can easily carry surfboards, can be used to transport loads of shit around, and these days are as quick and economical as my car was before it went shit.

also, it looks cool, and drives really nicely
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

+ you have AIDS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

yeah, he does

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)

No I don't
I always rubber up

+make him
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Did you go for a panel van? What colour is it? Does it have a nice face?
Are you goign to lower it? Put spinners on it?
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:04, Reply)

yes, with a window in the side
white, with white bumpers etc. I suppose so. No, the wheels are so large there's no need. Good god no.

www.broadwayvancentre.com/cdata/35114/img/35114_3131401.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Are you going to paint dragons or flowers or something on the side?
I understand this sort of customisation is popular amongst the surfing community.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:06, Reply)

you understand incorrectly
I may put some black wheels on it, and a black cover over the bonnet at some point.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I'd suggest putting a fake intercooler hood on the bonnet
with perhaps a large spoiler on the rear.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:10, Reply)

that goes without saying

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)

What you should have done is buy a black one, put a red stripe down the side
and driven to the next bash with Labia, Monty and Chompy as the world's most middle class A Team.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:17, Reply)

Middle class with no money?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)

people who get vans and paint them up as A Team vans are fucking morons.
why the fuck anyone would want to drive a novelty vehicle like that is beyond me. Even if it's the same model van as the A Team one was.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)

'The Gay Team'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Hang on, I'm on that list.
'The Really Tough Team'. There.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Nobody's even asked me who'd be playing what part.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:20, Reply)

No need.
I'm clearly the silver-haired senior mastermind. The others play my bent sidekicks.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Actually, you're Murdoch.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:24, Reply)

*closes News of the World*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:25, Reply)

They're all Murdoch

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Ooo
It's very white. That's all I can think of really.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:16, Reply)

it's not the most exciting of vehicles
but I shall enjoy using it instead of sleeping in a tent, and it will facilitate driving round Europe and stuff.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I can see it's uses :)
Friend of mine has just got a similar VW but in black. For a surfer/kiteboarder/biker they're a really handy piece of kit.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)

yeah, seeing my mates enjoying theirs was what tipped me towards getting one.
They really are nice to drive as well which is a bonus.

Need to sort out putting a bed in it and such.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)

In trouble with the missus, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:23, Reply)

far from it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:32, Reply)

Sounds a bit noncey to me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:08, Reply)

that's because that is all you know
and so all other things are judged against that
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)

All it needs is some rope in the back, a big dog, some copies of 'guns and ammo' and it sounds like a classic 'abduction-mobile'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Roses are red, Violets are blue
I've got a knife.
Get in the van.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)

*blubs*
That's just beautiful.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:19, Reply)

They always blub.
Lovely old hymn though, isn't it?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Indeed so.
Based on Psalm 19, is it not?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I think it might be Matthew 19:19, actually
"Love thy neighbour as he taketh up the chimney of chocolate if threaten-ed with a great violence."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:31, Reply)

The Lord giveth - as do I.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:32, Reply)

...for the Lord moveth in mysterious ways
to loosen you up good and proper.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.
But I'm not allowed to tell anyone or my parents and dog will die.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:39, Reply)

ate a croissant

( Peej, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:51, Reply)

I had a croissant for breakfast this morning
late night shopping last night, saw they had some, grabbed one for today. I felt very decadent.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

On a balcony?

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

What ho?
One of my roommates is a twat, that's what ho.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Not good
What's happened?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:01, Reply)

He was a twat, that's all.
He needs to loosen the fuck up. As do I.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)

*taps nose* Amyl Nitrate is your friend.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:06, Reply)

eh?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:08, Reply)

It's a drug popular with the gays for "relaxing" you before "intimacy"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Amyl Nitrate is well-known in the, ah, chutney fraternity, for its 'loosening up' qualities.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:10, Reply)

To traslate to Australian
"G'Day It slackens ur arsehole up proper ace mayyyhte"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:12, Reply)

but said as a question obviously

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:14, Reply)

do you use it as part of your cocktail
'The Rohypnotist'?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:17, Reply)

This is excellent.
I am stealing this name. I will not be creditting the intellectual copyright.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)

'Strewth, mate, it makes your shitty all fackin wide?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:18, Reply)

lahhhhk a digereeee-do mahyt?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:33, Reply)

"Queers" take "it" before "ass-fucking"

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I like this response the most.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:16, Reply)

I bet you do
you painted jezebel
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:20, Reply)

*beams*

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:21, Reply)

A certain rubber, ah, item, appears to have been borrowed without permission.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I wish it were the case.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:06, Reply)

He thought it was a novelty rolling pin
the problem started to develop when he showed Poppet's mother how he liked to bake pies. He said it was nicely weighted but the shape made it difficult to achieve a nice, even pastry.

The argument started when her mother inquired as to where he'd found it. She meant which shop, he misunderstood.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:08, Reply)

Hahahha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Misery?
Lampers returns from her holiday today, and then I've got a beer festival to *ahem* assess later in the week, with an additional cunning ploy that might make my boss believe me when I say I'm "working from home."

Though I have somehow managed to catch a cold, so at least I've got something to whinge about.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:33, Reply)

, and then I've got a beer festival to *ahem* assess later in the week, with an additional cunning ploy that might make my boss believe me when I say I'm "working from home."

Though I have somehow managed to catch a cold,
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Oof

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:41, Reply)

That's the sound I'll make next time she punches me in the face.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 10:42, Reply)