I have a day of meh stretching before me.
It's important that I remember that it will end eventually.

Oh and this might amuse you lot. Last night part of my dream consisted of me trying to convince my mother to put some knickers on because her dress was too short and you could see her muff.
( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 8:55, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Coooor
*bongles*
( Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 8:57, Reply)

*reminds Kroney that her mother is 67*

( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 8:59, Reply)

*choans*

( Kroney, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Does she have a brother?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:02, Reply)

Only child.

( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Shit out of luck there Mrs Shipman

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

A girl can try...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Guess what I'm having for breakfast? THE LAST SLICE.
I accidently had ALL OF IT over the last few days. I didn't mean not to leave them a crumb, and I'll have sturn words with myself next time I get on the scales and it goes "One at a time, please", but it's totally worth it.

OH MAN, PRODUCT IDEA
A set of scales, where every stone it says words instead of numbers, like
1st - "Take your toe off and just step on it"
2st - "You're supposed to use both feet"
3st - "C'mon jackass, you know how to use this thing"
...
9st - "G'wan, have a pie, you could do with it"
10st - "I can see your ribs when you breath in"
11st - "Unless you're a midget, you're a sexy bitch"
...
15st - "Six pack? More like a keg"
16st - "Eating for two? ,)"
17st - "Comfort eating again?"
18st - "One at a time"
19st - "Most elivators can only take two of you"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:03, Reply)

I would buy that.

( girlinthehole, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:04, Reply)

I'm in. but I will need forty percent.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Fucking brilliant idea
How about one that you could record insults in should you go over a certain weight?

15 stone - "Morning you fat, lardy CUNT!"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:05, Reply)

20 stone - "AAAAAAARGH, GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Or a proximity sensor?
"Don't even fucking think about it. Get your fat arse out for a jog!"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I think mine already has one of them.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:11, Reply)

some kind of gravity sensor?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:14, Reply)

Come within 5 feet, and this goes off
nooooooooooooooo.com/
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:22, Reply)

hahaha
I want that as my doorbell
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:23, Reply)

"You do know I'm not an industrial machine"
"Oh great, someone's put me in a zoo"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Needs a celebrity voice
or two, one bad and one good. George Clooney* says positive things and Rowan Atkinson says negative things. Double reinforcement!

*I dunno, who's a sexy man these days ladies?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 10:03, Reply)