I am sitting on a kerb in edinburgh
the show I'm going to see doesn't start for another hour, my friends have gone home and I don't have any money to go and sit in a bar or something. Oh, and tennis boy is in a right strop as well. Sigh.
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:06, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Is TC with you?
Why not get him to go and buy you a drink. Also, why show are you going to see?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:07, Reply)

no he isn't, and that's part of his problem
he's at home bored, and has decided this is my fault. jerk. see below for show.
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:11, Reply)

Sorry berk.
I'm sure he is only full of sad because he misses you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)

Hmm
he does it fairly often - rings me and says he's bored, pooh-poohs all the ideas I come up with to make him less bored then tells me I'm rubbish. I'm sure he's mostly joking but it really upsets me, so I hung up on him and now he's not returning my texts. He really is an utter knob sometimes.
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Well don't send him anymore texts then.
That'll learn him.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:21, Reply)

I'll cave first, I always do
I never stay mad long enough to get a proper sulk on. But my battery is about to die, so I can't really text him tonight anyway.
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:27, Reply)

Well don't be wasting time on here.
What if you need your phone for an emergency call!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:28, Reply)

Then I'm fucked
at least til I get back to the hostel and charge it. They're letting people in to the venue now so at least I'm not outside freezing my tits off.
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:42, Reply)

*Feels relieved for your tits and that they'll be staying attached*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:43, Reply)

it's a good thing
i've not enough to be sparing any to hypothermic loss.
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:48, Reply)

What road? What kerb? What show? What venue?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Do what!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)

How do Do-It-All do it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)

If only we knew it. How Do-It-All-Do-It...

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)

You can bet...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)

We'd be doin' it as well!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Wasn't that monty's problem? He did know how to do it all...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:14, Reply)

I had him down as more of a Kwik-Fit-Fitter.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:22, Reply)

I'm going to see
Mr B the gentleman rhymer at the voodoo rooms at 11. I'm sat outside a mcdonalds, on a road off princes st. Why, are you in edinburgh?
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Mr B is boss. I saw him yeeeears ago in a lovely burlesque in Liverpool.
No, but we were there a couple of weeks ago. Holyrood 9A IS boss if you can scrape together the price of a Coke.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:11, Reply)

*jealouses*
We should go to another burlesque thing. One where you're allowed to masturbate though not like that rubbish one we went to.
( djtrialprice, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)

You're a knob!
I'm giggling though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:14, Reply)

Speaking of burlesque
I have recently been made aware of the artist known as devil doll. Very sexy voice, that lady.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

I shall check her out...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

It is a measure of the level at which I esteem her
That I actually bought, as in paid money for, both her albums on itunes.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:25, Reply)

Ace, i'm glad t hear it
I may be skint but my hostel and trainfare are paid and i'm going to have a total blast.
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:18, Reply)

You are indeed.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Edinburgh, Edinburgh, Edinburgh!
It's full of bars and restaurants and comedy and westies and shiiiiiite.
( djtrialprice, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:10, Reply)

Oh man, there were Timothies EVERYWHERE yesterday,

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)

And english people. And scottish people who aren't scottish enough for glasgow.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)

Scottish violent/drunk/dirty
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)

True dat
Alcoholic religious bigoted never-shutting-up bastard weegies.
( djtrialprice, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:15, Reply)

it's a lovely city and i'll not hear a word against it.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:15, Reply)

Coz u iz nailz

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Shite
Hole
( djtrialprice, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:21, Reply)

Go to Holyrood 9A (awesome bar)
and try to con someone into buying you a drink.
( djtrialprice, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)

I was going to tell her to go there but realised she has no money

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)

See
I came up with a plan too. You're a woman so should have known about that one.
( djtrialprice, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:11, Reply)

I have never done that.
Nana Maggie would be so disappointed in me.
Her life's work was to con drinks out of men.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:12, Reply)

I have had more drinks bought for me by girls than I've bought drinks for them.
*pouts*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

Well done Barry.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:18, Reply)

I roll that one out all the time.
When in reality I've bought a girl a drink once and had three bought for me. It sounds less impressive that way, so I don't say it that way.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:27, Reply)

It's still true.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:28, Reply)

And look how far it's got me with the womenfolk.
Fighting them off with a stick. Or not.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:51, Reply)

No more with the redhead?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:52, Reply)

I messaged her about Pulp in a couple weeks.
No reply. Quite pissed off she didn't even get back to me.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 23:11, Reply)

People are fickle.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 23:13, Reply)

Maybe she is confused.
She has probably been through rolls and rolls of Andrex without a hint of residue. And she is unaware that you've given her ring a 30,000 shit overhaul.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 23:13, Reply)

I think that backfired to be honest.
I thought "yeah this'll make it look like I know loads of out of the box stuff" when in reality she probably thought "he doesn't even know where my fanny is".
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 23:16, Reply)

At least she didn't backfire during the event, eh?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Metaphorically she has backfired all over me the past couple weeks.
*bursts into tears*
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 23:20, Reply)

At least she didn't fart up your nose.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 23:22, Reply)

sadly not.
I had budgetted for the weekend, but badly it seems.
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:13, Reply)

Can you not order a drink, then root in your purse, then count your coppers, then exclaim that you've lost a twenty pound note,
then cry and see who'll take pity on you?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:17, Reply)

I'm really not very good at that sort of thing
I don't look sweet and innocent and woeful enough, and I can't act worth a damn.
(berk, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Or think of a drink that would have cost you twenty quid!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:24, Reply)

I bet swipe could think of a few

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:29, Reply)

But I'd imagine she wouldn't be sitting on the roadside in Scotland waiting for a show to start.
So this point doesn't really help out our friend berk.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:30, Reply)

I just wanted to join in, jeff. Why all the mean?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

But berk is suffering b3th.
For god sake. Won't someone think of the children!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:32, Reply)

The worst is when girls ask for tabs in smoking areas cos they think blokes will just say yes.
I always reply "sorry, you're not fit enough for me to warrant giving you one". Smooth or what.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:28, Reply)

Alternative answer: "Sure, that'll be 30p."

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)

You should take out a packet of Lamberts, just for the ugly clunge.
That'll put 'em in their place.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 21 Aug 2011, 22:31, Reply)