Evening thread
What's going on, /OT?

Alt: What classic (by which I mean 20th century) TV series should be remade? Who would star in it, and how would it improve with 21st century production values. I'm talking 'Dr Who' style improvements.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:14, 244 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

The adventure game

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:16, Reply)

i want to say blake's 7, but I suspect
it would just miss the point and be shit. I've still not watched The Prisoner remake
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:17, Reply)

Oh, the Adventure Game was FAB!
I used to love that 'coloured shapes on the floor' thing.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:18, Reply)

Actually
I saw a pretty fun kids' game show fairly recently. Trapped!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:21, Reply)

There are episodes of it on YouTube.
As a child, the Vortex at the end of the game frightened me. And Uncle, the angry plant.

Still watched it though.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:22, Reply)

A couple of years ago, Challenge TV had a vintage weekend
They showed episodes of Crackerjack, which was amazing, and Knightmare.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:26, Reply)

Oooh! I could crush a grape.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:29, Reply)

I know someone who was on Knightmare
I don't know whether it was more cringeworthy re-watching it and realising how pants it was, or seeing just how pretentious all the little shits were who went on.
(berk, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:46, Reply)

i thought if they fell of the vortex
they really disappeared into space
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:53, Reply)

The Crystal Maze
With Jerry Sadowitz as the 'Maze Master'. There would be no end of scathing comments.

Also, Prisoner Cell Block H. Vastly underrated and unfairly famous for its poor sets and sometimes dodgy acting. Not sure who I would like to see in the remake though.

Edit to add - Tales of the unexpected. Could be a bit hammy, bu the 'Spiders Web' episode was incredibly dark and unsettling....
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:21, Reply)

The Young Ones, starring Alan Carr, Justin Lee Collins, Russell Brand and Michael Mackintyre.
The 21st century improvement would be the cast list.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:23, Reply)

The Tripods.
Loved that show, loved the books even more. I reckon it'd stand up to a modern remake.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:24, Reply)

Another good call. Loved that show.
And maybe this time round, they could actually finish the story.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:25, Reply)

The books wrapped it up well, I'd still read them now even though they were kids books I think.
Nice.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:26, Reply)

Were they John Wyndham?
I read the Chocky books after the TV series. They were good.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:28, Reply)

John Christopher.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:28, Reply)

Right you are.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:30, Reply)

OOOOOH
www.amazon.co.uk/Tripods-Complete-1-2-DVD/dp/B000R21294/ref=pd_cp_b_2

I bet it's shit though.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:31, Reply)

I've seen that.
I was severely tempted.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:33, Reply)

I'm not, I daren't go back to jewels of my youth, look what happened with Ulysses 31 :(

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:35, Reply)

Ugh, that stupid fucking robot!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:35, Reply)

Nono? All kids cartoons have the comedy sidekick, it's the law.
See Cringer, Uni etc etc
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:47, Reply)

I'll bet it will appear shit if you watched it now.
I watched the Mysterious Cities of Gold, it was shit.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:39, Reply)

*Shame high fives*
I've got the prequel and all somewhere
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:35, Reply)

Nice.
I've just read reviews of it, doesn't sound like something I want to read. I lent my copy to daughter's step-dad's step-kids and never saw it again. Might have to dig a copy out.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:38, Reply)

Many moons have passed since I read it, I seem to remember it fitting in quite well with the trilogy
Four lyons out of five, you should pick up a second hand copy.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:42, Reply)

I loved those books, though the third one wasn't as good
never saw the tv though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:40, Reply)

I aint seen the tv series, but then I grew up with two channels that never showed anything anyway.
I'd get it for the terrible effects alone, I'm sure I've seen bits on you tube, it's loltastic
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:45, Reply)

No tv when I was little
maybe when I've got money to spend
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:48, Reply)

I remember the prequel
It wasn't as good as the trilogy
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:43, Reply)

READ IT AGAIN

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:47, Reply)

is 230pm too early to start drinking?
Alt I've never watched dr who so I know nowt of their style of improvements, but I think csi could go for an overhaul because their actors suuuuuck
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:27, Reply)

but but but....
That guy who plays the guy who got buried alive. The one that's friends with the black guy. He's cute.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:29, Reply)

i dont know who youre talking about
I find their horrible acting intolerable and so I cannot watch it without groaning, cringing and rolling my eyes
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:30, Reply)

We've started watching Body of Proof, which a little bit CSI-y.
It's very good.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:33, Reply)

I cannot watch it without shouting at the tv
for their hideous scientific inaccuracies. Since my mother watches almost nothing but CSI and CSI-type shows, this does not go down at all well whenever I go to visit her.
(berk, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:43, Reply)

You!
I need your email address as well, for the Eggheads application form. Kthxbai
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:44, Reply)

Shitting hell, are we actually going on it?
I thought it was all hyperbole...
(berk, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:47, Reply)

Well, we're actually applying.
Do you not want to do it any more?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:48, Reply)

The idea of being on the telly gives me The Fear
but why the hell not, I shall gaz you my email.
(berk, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:54, Reply)

Coolio.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:57, Reply)

2.30pm is NOT too early to start drinking.
knock yourself out!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:29, Reply)

literally!

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:31, Reply)

The Crystal Maze obviously
and The Persuaders. Possibly the Professionals although it would never be as good
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:37, Reply)

I've got a bit of a dilemma.
I think I've been overpaid by about fifteen hundred quid (net) this month (the new contract I'm on means I only have to submit timesheets, rather than invoicing directly). However they were mucking me about last month and I thought I'd been underpaid, but not by that much.

Do I 'ask what's going on' or do I sit back and hope that their lack of administration doesn't catch up with me?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:38, Reply)

The latter, no contest.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:38, Reply)

Thing is, if there has been a cock-up, they'll (rightly) want their money back.
Which is fine. I've got no problem with that, but I'd rather know now, rather than getting stuck for a massive reduction when the contract ends.

But their whole administration has been shit so far, so it is possible they'll do nothing about it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:41, Reply)

How big is the company?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:42, Reply)

Global, with billions in turnover.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:44, Reply)

Then expect the money to be allocated and written off.
But yes, phone the accounts department as a courtesy.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:46, Reply)

We had the same with an invoice for mr b3th's company.
We did actually ask, and they said as the money had been allocated against a contract, they couldn't take it back. Seems a bloody silly way to run a company, but there you go.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:40, Reply)

I will some questions, but if I can keep it....
I'll try and do something useful with it. Rather than spunking the lot on indian food and cloudy cider.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:43, Reply)

You mean, like bringing me a nice present when you come to the pier?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:46, Reply)

Paying for the drinks
(though I owe Jeff one)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:47, Reply)

I'm good for a few rounds!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:57, Reply)

Of crazy golf on the pier

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:00, Reply)

Wayhay!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:03, Reply)

Err, no.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:57, Reply)

Think I'd hold my hands up Jeff
If they're that big they can afford better legal representation than you, if you see what I mean.

And honesty goes a long way in business.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:58, Reply)

Fulham are playing some back water Ukrainian team.
If we go through tonight it's three guaranteed away games on the continent. I've got money burning a hole in my pocket ready to book flights when the draw's made tomorrow. So fingers crossed.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:38, Reply)

Where would you most like to go Baz?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:39, Reply)

Anywhere except Italy. Italy is rubbish for this sort of thing.
I'd like Spain, Germany would be mint, or Holland. We've had such shit luck with where we've gone so far (Ukraine twice, Bulgaria, Northern Ireland, Faroe Islands etc) that we deserve a bit of luck with tomorrow's draw.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:50, Reply)

Why the fuck did I speak so soon.
1-0 down. I'm so nervous now.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:53, Reply)

Is it on the telly box?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:58, Reply)

It's the only game that isn't. Can't even get a dodgy stream.
Wasn't even going to bother watching/keeping up to date as I thought it'd be shit and a foregone conclusion. Now I'm listening to radio commentary on the BBC like it's 1997.
EDIT: Found one, if you're interested/mad enough to want to watch it - www3.livetv.ru/webplayer2.php?t=aliez&c=174753&lan
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:01, Reply)

Has PvP.eu stopped streaming? I had problems the other day when I tried to use it.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:11, Reply)

Nah.
It's just there is unbelievably little interest in this game. Even the people doing the live updates on the BBC Sport site can't find anywhere showing it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:13, Reply)

Stop following such a shit team then.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:17, Reply)

ACTUALLY.
There is little interest because it was assumed it was a foregone conclusion because we won the first leg 3-0. But in true Fulham style we are now looking extremely rubbish and the tie is interesting again.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:23, Reply)

The only one I can think of
is Buck Rogers. Blake's 7 was always pants and Battlestar Galactica was awesome both now and then.
(berk, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:48, Reply)

Some of the Gerry Anderson stuff could be good, maybe get Matt and Trey on the Supermarionation tip.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:50, Reply)

Having just seen the new BSG, and Caprica, I am a serious convert.
I'd like to see one of those fab 60s scifi shows like Time Tunnel or Lost in Space.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:51, Reply)

I loved the modern Lost in Space film.
I'm sure I should be more ashamed of this than I actually am.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:54, Reply)

It was crap, but in a good way
I saw it at the cinema.
(berk, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:55, Reply)

You should be very ashamed. It was shit.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:58, Reply)

I misread that as Modern Toss
And spying the word 'Space' made me think of Space Argument. Which is fantastic.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_DjsmkD1fw

Well worth 60 seconds if you've not seen it before.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:01, Reply)

blake's 7 was not pants! what the hell?!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:55, Reply)

This is true. It was fab.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:58, Reply)

Quantum Leap!

(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:58, Reply)

NO!!!!
Don't touch Quantum Leap! Nooooooooooooo!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 19:59, Reply)

A remake would be terrible
It's the cheesiness that made it great
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:00, Reply)

And the Dean Stockwell.
*drools*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:01, Reply)

A Really?
I always reckoned Bakula was the beefcake for teh gals.
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:02, Reply)

Yeah, but I like old men.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:05, Reply)

I guess so
I'd probably prefer a final story closer with Bakula and Stockwell, though.
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:01, Reply)

no!
that thing in the bar was way cool - properly vague and frustrating
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:02, Reply)

What are you doing here? You're meant to be down the park drinking cider.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:03, Reply)

Some big lads came and nicked his BMX
(Want a BMX? Endorsed by Norman Tebbit as a guaranteed path to employment)
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:05, Reply)

A hot BMX
*Raleigh Burner lolz*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:06, Reply)

I had a big red Chopper....

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:08, Reply)

Did the Dr give you some ointment?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:09, Reply)

All my mates were welcome to ride on it
Johnny Warburton came off over the handlebars and ran home crying.

I gave it to my brother.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:12, Reply)

HURR HURR HURR

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:13, Reply)

I had an Ultraburner.
Cool as fuck.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:15, Reply)

Then a Diamond Back

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:19, Reply)

I'll bet you looked forward to BMX Beat on Channel 4.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:27, Reply)

Class!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:28, Reply)

They are all on YouTube.
Also - Did you know (and you might do, as I'm sure I'm mentioned it here before) that Andy Ruffle (the host/rider person on the show) launched the MoBo awards.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:32, Reply)

What Grades did you get?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:08, Reply)

Maths- A
English Lan- A
English Lit- A
Biol- A*
Chem- A
Phys- A*
French-A
Business- A*
IT- A (x3)
R.E- B (Hmpph)
Citizen- A
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:09, Reply)

Good work there.
You got four more passes than me.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:11, Reply)

When I was a nipper
we did nine GCSEs. Now they seem to be doing 11. And spending less time in lessons. Either kids today are genii, or the exams aren't as indepth as they used to be.

/old lady moaning
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:14, Reply)

10 was the norm when I was a young'un, but I was only entered for seven.
lol anal sex etc.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:15, Reply)

I think the difference is these days, there are more kids on both ends of the spectrum.
Say, 40 years ago,the ratio of clever:average:thick was 15:70:15, whereas today its more like 30:40:30, and the top 30% are the quieter types, so the thicko band get noticed more by adults.
So the pass rate is rising, but there are also more thick kids. So there probably are more genii, we're just being obscured to a greater degree.
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:19, Reply)

No, you're jsut being coached better to pass exams
Teaching is improving, but only in the sense that you're being taught better how to pass an exam.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:23, Reply)

I'd agree with this
there's less indepth knowledge of a subject and the exams are definitely easier.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:24, Reply)

Maybe the top 70% find it easier to pass but the bottom 30% hardly have any qualifications, and whats worse unlike their parents they have no profitable practical skills.
Apart from one C in of the more mocked subjects.
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:26, Reply)

I don't know if they're easier
but you're better trained how to do it.

I don't think there is any way of measuring peoples common sense though, which is something that is far more important in a working environment.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:26, Reply)

On older maths and science papers, you'd get long questions which awarded 20-30 marks,
and the idea of these was to set a simple-looking but inherently complex problem, make the candidates figure out how to solve it themselves, and use the question to test the candidates' problem-solving skills. But because these questions often led to low marks, they are becoming increasingly rare.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:31, Reply)

I'm not so sure
our teachers did that joke thing of giving us past papers from quite a few years before and they were substantially harder than the ones we had.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:37, Reply)

Because the questions were often written in a different way
or covering slightly different things, that you hadn't been taught how to address.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:43, Reply)

Perhaps
the papers certainly seemed harder, and I was relatively smart.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:46, Reply)

I got straight A's through my GCSEs and A levels and a first, so I'm quite happy to say I'm good at doing exams
but as I said, when you look at older papers set under a slightly different curiculum they appear "hard" to me, because I hadn't learnt how to answer those questions. Had I been taught how to answer those questions I doubt I would have found them hard.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

^this
Edit: it's a bit monkey see monkey do.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:25, Reply)

This was my problem at school, my ability to memorise things without understanding the logic behind them has always been bad.
My motivation and behaviour were even worse.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:32, Reply)

Merit is SUCH a 20th century value, darling.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:26, Reply)

This is true in the short term Al.
Then Bobby will qualify.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:26, Reply)

There are always outliers

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:27, Reply)

When I was a nipper
I did 'O' levels.

It's been a long time since I was a nipper.

EDIT - and I passed an 11 plus and got into grammar school.

This education helps me select a suitable zimmer frame.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:28, Reply)

OldManCloseToDeathLOLZ

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:30, Reply)

Closer
I'm 43 you know...
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:31, Reply)

Whereabouts?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:31, Reply)

Barrow - in - Furness
Cumbria was the last county to move to the Comprehensive system, and I was the last year to do 11 plus.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:34, Reply)

I was lucky, Kent still have them.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:36, Reply)

There are three within five miles of me, but only one of them is free.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:38, Reply)

Keeps the riff raff out.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:39, Reply)

You've still got the old 11+ system?
With Grammars and Secondary Moderns and stuff?

Thought that went out with Callaghan.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:39, Reply)

Sit

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:40, Reply)

Oops, they still test for the top 5 percent.

Sorry new computer
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:42, Reply)

I say that to my dogs and they do
What does it entail? I've no kids myself, so I don't know.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:44, Reply)

Standard aptitude test.
Maths and English.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:47, Reply)

So those that pass
Then move to, shall we say, a preferential stream of education?

I'm not being disengenious here - this is something that I've no knowledge of.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:51, Reply)

Absolutely.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:52, Reply)

Depends where you live
my grammar school was full of foaming retards, but that's because the whole county was. Same amount of money allocated, but the general theory is that by ability streaming people are less likely to get frustrated at being held back for the slow.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:53, Reply)

Right - to both of you
As I say, I've no invested interest in the question.

I'd just assumed that since my schooling in the early '80's nothing had changed and it was simply a question of "you live here - you go to this school unless you can pay for something better."

Thanks
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:02, Reply)

There's four or five counties
that still do grammars. I went to a grammar school for a couple of years
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:42, Reply)

I pissed my eleven plus.
They gave me 45 minutes to do it, and I was finished in about 20.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:32, Reply)

Easiest exam ever
though it was scary at the time
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:38, Reply)

Tell the truth.
Did you make a call like this today....

www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEfKEzX9QLE
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:13, Reply)

Yes, I got one from my Auntie Sue.
Except It was the hilarious opposite in terms of my Academic performance, I do worst in the shit subject.
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:15, Reply)

You didn't get an Ology?
I didn't click the link, but I'm guessing that's what it was....
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:16, Reply)

BiOlogy. (A*)

(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:20, Reply)

That was a cultural reference dear.
A joke, if you will.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:32, Reply)

Way to hit your target audience there.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:40, Reply)

I think the way to improve education would be-
A disciplinarian attitude to very bad or frequent bad behavior.
An option to force ferile youths into the military for extremely bad behavior in or out of school.
Increased specialisation in vocations for those who do not excel academically.
Some sort of Academic selection (less rigorous then pre 75).
Allow the academically and culturally gifted to flourish.
Removal of RE and Citizen as compulsory subjects to allow for variety.
IMO, exams are not as easy as many think, they should maybe be a bit harder but not so hard that only 1% can get A*.
Just my opinion, feel free to rip it apart from a Guardianista perspective.
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:37, Reply)

A good kicking is what you whippersnappers need. ;-)

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:38, Reply)

By "culturally gifted" do you mean "posh"?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:39, Reply)

He means stream young
so the children of the middle-class get the education they so deserve, and those who haven't yet developed get sidetracked into subjects befitting of what they are capable of- manual ones, or perhaps being maids.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:41, Reply)

Too right!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:45, Reply)

It seems to be this sort of opinion that is causing this country to have a fucking disgracefully low aptitude at practicalities.
Think about it. A good plasterer or plumber or ENGINEER (vocation can also entail a high level or pay and worthiness) can become a Loadsamoney, and we wouldn't have half the need for Polish labourers, etc.
With probably a third of the population it is a waste of time to educate them in such academic subjects beyond 11, unless their literacy and numeracy are inadequate.
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:55, Reply)

Where did you get that figure of a third from?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:58, Reply)

No rush, in your own time.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)

School isn't the place to find that out
sixteen is the earliest point to decide that, and this country should follow in Germany's wake and take a leaf out of their book.

Just saw the edit. We should write off a third of the country as being non academic at the age of 11? Absolutely amazing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:58, Reply)

Where would the scaffolders be without poles?
Fucked. That's where. They'd just have planks and this would do nothing for the building trade.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:59, Reply)

It's a good thing he's only a child and thus his opinion is completely irrelevant.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:00, Reply)

Good at Music.

(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:52, Reply)

What if they're shit-hot at composition but all thumbs when it comes to performance?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)

They should have their thumbs cut off.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

They should have
thumbs cut off is very much
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)

Yes, we should force people into the military
that's a really good idea, lets have an armed forces full of people who we couldn't educate properly.

Sorry, that's the ludicrous guardianista in me picking holes in that idea. Clearly it's a bullet proof plan.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:47, Reply)

The whole thing is a mess
even those bits that are good ideas and discussed by actual experts are so clearly motivated by an agenda
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:50, Reply)

We need more well trained, heavily armed idiots.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 20:51, Reply)

Thing is, the military could turn them into respectful, hardworking people who will at least attempt to contribute to society

(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:00, Reply)

So why aren't all kids in the military, if they are so much better than teachers at educating?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)

Because most children have been taught enough sense not to smash a bus shelter/ skull.

(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:02, Reply)

How many children smash skulls out of interest?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)

Yes, of course it will
that's what the military excels at. It turns illiterate uneducated people into major contributers to society.

Do you know how much higher the pregnancy rates are in garrison towns?

Soldiers are not particularly responsible people.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:02, Reply)

*Taking the safety off and the gun out of the holster lolz*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)

Too much Bad Lad's Army I think

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)

We CAN educate everyone properly, the vast majority of the "uneducated" seem in fact to be the willfully ignorant.

(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:01, Reply)

You're so wonderful
I can't wait until you actually meet some of these "willfully ignorant" people and tell them that.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)

I've met loads, for god sake a lot of the people in Wolverhampton fit into this category.
I have nothing against unintelligent people, I have a thing against unpleasant irresponsible people who rely on other decent people to clean up their shit then try ruin their lives. Rich or poor, toff or scally.
But there is very much a correlation between these people and thickos.
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:07, Reply)

their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much
their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much their is very much
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

I'm sure "their" is.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Remember lots of youths are ferile

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:12, Reply)

They are the worst kind fo youths.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)

Are you going to be a teacher when you grow up then?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)

No, too much risk of teaching in a sink school.

(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

So you're prepared
Despite your assertions than "We can educate everyone" to allow the wilful masses to proliferate?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Oh he knows what the solution is
but he's fucked if he's actually going to put his money where his mouth is and do something about it.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)

money +gun
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)

See I don't think the education system is bad overall, and the state school that I go to is amazing
But if YOU wan't to make it better, this is what I GATHER you COULD do.
(888777555, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Err - your English GCSE
Did it encompass punctuation?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Have you started WRITING for the SUN?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)

for to
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)

I'm not one for gambling, but I'd put a lot of money on him ending up in IT support.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Starting as a Junior Helpdesk Analyst

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Or on a register

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:11, Reply)

important update: i decided to take a nap instead of drinking wine

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)

You bender.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:03, Reply)

Was it a sex nap?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:06, Reply)

If it was, I hope she used protection. Otherwise it might end up a Kid Nap...
Gets ready to leave the Internet.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

well my dog barked and i said not now dear i have a headache

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)

Clearly Echo would be better off living with me.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)

I approve of naps.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:08, Reply)

a i
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:15, Reply)

i like nips

( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)

yellow peril lols

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Terry and June
starring Terry Venables and the cast of 1984 sci fi film Dune as his long suffering wife.
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:13, Reply)

You're not really trying now, are you?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:14, Reply)

The A Team
BA, Face, Murdock & Hannibal go in search of anal bum fun
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:17, Reply)

With elephants.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:18, Reply)

Whatever swizzles your shizzle

( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)

i love it when the gang comes together

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:19, Reply)

nice one

( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:20, Reply)

The Dukes of Haphazard
Bo & Luke get increasingly confused at carrying out mundane tasks
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Doctor Who?
A selection of dementia sufferers get reminded they've missed a medical appointment.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Moon lighting
Cybill Shepherd looks on disapprovingly as Bruce Willis drops his kecks and lights his farts
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:25, Reply)

EastBenders
People who live in Norwich get outed on the Internet.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:26, Reply)

this one might have legs
legs with six toes at the end of them...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)

Trans Formers
Robots use the power of gok wan to turn into a different sex
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:27, Reply)

The Professionals
A group of prostitutes solve crimes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:28, Reply)

Cross Roads
The A46 & the M40 kick RIGHT off
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)

And for younger viewers.
The Magic Roundabout.

A collection of low-impact car crashes in Swindon.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Heh
I've never encountered the magic roundabout in Swindon, there's something similar outside Hatton Cross tube station though, it's hilariously daft
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Roundabout_(Swindon)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)

There is one in Hemel Hempstead too

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)

your link doesn't work
but yeah, I'm aware of it, as I say they have exactly the same thing at Hatton Cross
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)

Well copy and paste it yourself then!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)

Pot Black
But rather than a snooker based sporting extravaganza, people called Leroy, Winstone and Denzil discuss kitchen implements.

Look out for Pot Black 'Later' when our 3 heroes compares the quality of their resin.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:30, Reply)

Ulysees 31
Julie Walters adopts a swedish accent, lies about her age and has corrective eye surgery.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Mongkey
Dubbed English language version of a Japanese television series about people returning home from the pub struggling to get through the front door
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:32, Reply)

Big Break
Jim Davidson is tied to a table and people take it in turns to hit his legs with sledgehammers.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:32, Reply)

It's only a game so, put up a real good fight.
I'm gonna be knee-cappin' you tonight!

Captain Sensible provides the theme tune.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:33, Reply)

i like this

( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)

The Crystal Maze
a group of drug addicts have to make it through a rat-maze to get to their Massive Drugs
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)

instead of 'mummy'
they'd have to hget past 'monty'
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Boys from The Black Stuff
In which various drug addled characters discuss their experiences attempting to smoke epoxy resin, neatly repackaged as finest Columbian.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:35, Reply)

The Yung Ones
Sitcom set in an anarchic Chinese restaurant where the staff can't stop weeing
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)

Dickinson's Real Deal
Perma-tanner 'Bobby Dazzler' David swaps antiques for drugs with hilarious consequences.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)

I'm pretty sure I could run with this
if only I'd ever watched it & knew any of his catchphrases
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)

cheap as crack

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:42, Reply)

Swapping that broken Denby vase for a fivers worth of weed...
That's the REAL deal!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Button Moon
Mr. Spoon, Mrs. Spoon, and Tina bare their arses
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Bag Puss
Reality show where contestants desperate for 10 mins of fame compete for a go on Jordan / Katie Price
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

boaks

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:47, Reply)

Blue Peter.
The tall one from Dragons' Den spends an hour telling naughty jokes.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)

I'm in.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:48, Reply)

Tomorrows Whirled
Contestants join Pete Doherty, Amy Winehouse and Frank Bough for a night out
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

The Clagnuts
Childrens TV show about a family of mouse-like creatures who live on, and in, the moon, and get their sustenance from the poop dragon
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)

Chorlton and the Wee-Wees.
A friendly dragon gets a bladder infection.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:54, Reply)

Muffing The Mule
Dutch childrens programme which never got the green light in the UK
( broadsword, Thu 25 Aug 2011, 21:59, Reply)