Keep it dry.
Go heavy on the galangal and lemongrass.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:10, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

good advice for any situation

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:11, Reply)

this reminds me of labs' awful comment
"no squealing piggy, i'm going in dry"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:12, Reply)

if you stumble on massacre on a 'Sunshine Bus'?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Even for
'what should I stick down my japseye?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:15, Reply)

That's what Vippers always uses.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:16, Reply)

well you wouldn't want to use normal ginger or actual lemon juice would you?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:16, Reply)

maybe this is a good use for the master cleanse
that's lemon juice and cayenne pepper?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Thank you.
I've read that I should have bought coconut cream rather than milk so I've bollocksed it up before I've even begun.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:12, Reply)

I think you'll be able to sepreate the milk from the cream
but then you might need another tin
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Can't use the milk, old fruit.
Too much liquid.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Could you not just reduce it down first?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Could he not reduce it down to thicken it?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Fucking hell
my brain is in sync with a northerner.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:16, Reply)

Are you not one then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:17, Reply)

With 10 thousand spoons

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:18, Reply)

KILOSPOON.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:19, Reply)

NO, A KNIFE !!11!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:20, Reply)

The creamed cocnut is more like dessicated in texture, so no.
You'd only reduce it to a sickeningly sweet gloop more like evap milk.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Hmmm, yummy yummy, cocnut
availible in all good Norwich public toilets
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:25, Reply)

Hahah
I love it when you mock other people's typos.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:26, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:27, Reply)

teraspoons

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Technically.
But technically I'm also obese.

Actually I'm not, I just checked, I'm just overweight. But even if I lost over a stone I would still be overweight.

How depressing. Might have to sign up to some more half marathons.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I mean seriously
Are you an actual northern chap or not?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Yes, I was born in Newcastle General to a lday born and bred in gateshead and a chap born and bred in Jarrow
But at the age of one I moved to Brighton and became a raving woopsie.

EDIT - actually my dad wasn't born and bred in jarrow, but he grew up there, his dad was a publican in a few different places when he left the navy.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:27, Reply)

I see
I always wondered
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Really?
Well there you go. I still love wandering round the Bigg Market and looking at the state people get into.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Friday night entertainment innit?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:31, Reply)

ha
you fat fuck
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:20, Reply)

please do
then you can talk about them and the training you are doing some more, whilst calling other people self-obsessed and dull. it'll make for marvellous banter.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:21, Reply)

Shush now swipey
getting boring now.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:27, Reply)

never stopped you before, has it?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I'm ignoring BMI
it's a rubbish measurement

/might just not like the answer
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:23, Reply)

I did that until it told me I was in the normal weight range

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:24, Reply)

BMI is crap
It makes my BMI higher than Mrs Cows and that is shite
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:24, Reply)

That's because you're a lolfatty

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:26, Reply)

This may be true, but Mrs Cow is bigger than me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:28, Reply)

Well, I'm sure she has nice places to put it that you don't
Edit: POIDH
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Ahhh
The Boob Minge Index
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:31, Reply)

Best of all the indices.
Bugger, your missus hides her piccies on FB so I cannot perv without friending her first. *sadface*
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:34, Reply)

haha!
Surely she is on some of mine?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:39, Reply)

I know it's a stupid measurement
But it amuses me that on saturday night a friend told me his doctor had put him on the obesity register!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:26, Reply)

is that like the nonce register?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:26, Reply)

That's what I wondered.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:27, Reply)

Quite simple: nonces have to declare their status before they can move somewhere near a school
And the clinically obese have to declare their status before they're allowed to board a boat or 'plane.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:32, Reply)

I didn't know there was a register

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:28, Reply)

My advice is not to go to your doctor until you've lost ome more weight.
How is the diet going?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:29, Reply)

It's been almost a month
lost nothing despite the 600 a day. I'm really hoping to see some change in a month though- when I next go back to the doctor. Though no scales give me the same reading
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:32, Reply)

You should use one set of scales only
and only weight yourself once a week or something.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:33, Reply)

at the same time of day as well

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:34, Reply)

I don't weigh in generally
and not just because my dad doesn't possess any such thing as scales, whereas if I was in Ireland I'd have a choice of three haha
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:35, Reply)

Weigh yourself in the morning
As the sunlight will make your body fat able to capture and absorb neutrinos. Although these have negligible weight, billions pass through your body every second, and so if you think about how many might be captured over the course of a day, well, you're probably looking at gaining an extra 40kg just through exposure to natural light...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:36, Reply)

This almost sounds like it could be true
you should sell this information to Swipe. She will seal herself in a darkened room to avoid the effect of neutrino weight gain.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:38, Reply)

Tell her that is why Beyonce is Black.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:38, Reply)

this is so tedious that it makes me want to start a new thread about politics
just to get you to change the record.

oh i know. i have a friend who made the WORST romantic decision at the weekend. i will post her dilemma and you lot can give your advice. let's see who could make her kill herself the most quickly. you'll be good at that; your wife can't be long for this world, after all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Whilst I'm not in the habit of baiting 'swipe
I would be tempted to write into one of the more disreputable glossy weeklies with such advice and see how quickly the "neutrino diet" catches on.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:47, Reply)

According the BMI, I'm overweight
By something silly like half a stone as well. And I have been warned about its veracity.

/also doesn't like the answer
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:31, Reply)

don't shake it before opening
scoop out the thick bits
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:16, Reply)

So basically
treat it as if it was your mum's clunge?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:18, Reply)

I'm now not hungry any more

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:19, Reply)

precisely

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I like this a lot.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:19, Reply)

Thirteen oysters /ac

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Could he not get his frined 'Yeti'
to spunk in it with his massive 'Yeti Balls' thus thickening and seasoning at the same time?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:17, Reply)

I could but the stench would render it inedible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:19, Reply)

However the taste would be just fine?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:22, Reply)

You tell me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:25, Reply)

hardly seems worth making an entire curry for

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:25, Reply)

I've just remembered I made some thai green curry sauce and froze it
This makes me happy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Are you going to fuck yourself with the resulting 'curry-sicle' for a spicy treat?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Aahhh, the Kroneypop?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:22, Reply)

That's the one, with added Eastern promise

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:24, Reply)

The Qu'RoneyPop?

( Kroney, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:28, Reply)

INFIDEL!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 5 Sep 2011, 16:29, Reply)