My nephew used to believe that anyone who wore his trousers high like Simon Cowell, was gay.

( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:51, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I think your nephew may be on to something.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Well, I suppose it does count as something nestling against your arse...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

In my school it was long hair and/or flares.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

In my school that just marked you out as a Stone Roses fan.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)

I could be wrong
I just know I lived in fear when it got close to Haircut Time and to this day cannot wear'boot cut' trousers comfortably.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Same thing.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:01, Reply)

So young, and yet, so true.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:03, Reply)

hahaha...
...wait...shit...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Simon Cowell is so hilariously gay.
Someone's got something on him with all the stories currently coming out about him having threesomes and loads of liaisons with girls.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Him spending lots of time with Max Clifford on that Louis Theroux episode was telling

(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:00, Reply)

It may not be what you were implying
But I now have the image of Cowell and Clifford as lovers lodged in my head. Cowell is doing Clifford with that smug smile of his, it's nauseating.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:02, Reply)

Yeah, well, thanks for sharing, now I have it in my head
*sicks*
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:04, Reply)

This was the plan.
If I have to suffer with it, there's no reason anyone else should keep their breakfast down.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)

With the threesome story.
It's like, "not only am I hetero, I'm SUPER hetero". Gayest man alive, nailed on.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Never mind how he looks
you can tell by his taste in "music".

(Apologies to gays with good music taste, but you ARE in the minority there).
(McChinaman banned, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Speaking of hetero
Have you been out with your "new" friends recently?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:20, Reply)

A five minute walk around Shoreditch confirms that he is right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 9:56, Reply)

surely a five minute walk around shorditch
would confirm that everyone north of the river is gay?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:00, Reply)

I'm playing a gig in Shoreditch next week
Does this mean I might get bummed?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Are you?
I'll come to that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Good show
It's at a place called Maneros Bar.
Come to think of it, that does sound like some gay-love bar.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:09, Reply)

'Man-Eros'
Errr, I may be busy actually...

Which night is it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Tuesday

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:12, Reply)

I'll try to come.
IN YOUR FACE.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Calm down, benders.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:17, Reply)

*kneels down with mouth open*

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Unbelievably
this is the second time this has happened to me today.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Yes, I enjoyed it so much the first time I thought I'd come back for more.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:45, Reply)

^ doubling the numbers

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:18, Reply)

You should definitely come Rory
Then there will be 3 people watching.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:44, Reply)

No but if you get really famous.
People round that way will all say they saw you at next week's gig, but think you're shit and a sell out now.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Could be.
Give me the address of the venue and I'll see what I can do.

What kind of thing do you play? would I like it?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)

232 Kingsland Rd E2 8AX
Er... I think Drone Folk would sum us up.
I don't know if you'll like it or not. That all rather depends on how good your taste is.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:12, Reply)

My taste is exquisite.
I have to warn you that my 'thing' is registering my dislike of bands by hurling shit-filled socks at them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)

I wouldn't expect anything less
I shall be bringing some bot dogs of my own to keep unruly audience members in check.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:23, Reply)

From 4Square:
"the door is yellow and it's very select about who gets in -but it's fast becoming a well respected venue both for it's music and cocktails also known as 'cock & tail'"

I'm not entirely sure what they are trying to say actually...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:14, Reply)

They are saying
"If you like chutney, we're your lads!.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:18, Reply)

'Does sir favour the, ah, 'savoury preserves'?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:33, Reply)

*googles*
*is non the wiser*
( girlinthehole, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)

Hmmm... not sure.
Folk yes, drone less so, probably not worth travelling north of the river for but might be worth it to support a fellow B3tan. Would you welcome such support or prefer to avoid it?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:19, Reply)

All support gratefully received

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:22, Reply)

OK, will see If I can find my passport before Tuesday.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Good stuff Quey

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Are you that bad?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Possibly
Come down and find out for yourself.
You'll have to bring your own shit-filled sock, unless Monty is prepared to share.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Everyone but me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Well, obviously.
Someone needs to service all the ladies of North London, if only to stop them coming to me, and I don't really have the time, what with having to satisfy every woman south of the river.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:08, Reply)

You are Cowelling furiously here
with about as much success.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Meh.
You have found me out, I am a massive woofter of foxtrotian proportions.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Pfffft.
As if they'd go to you over me. I lick their arses for fuck sake.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Well, I do like then cleaned up before I take care of them. thanks for that.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Sep 2011, 10:13, Reply)