I thought all you outdoor-lavveh types loved him?
I'm in denial about a sore throat/cold. I plan to drink myself better*

*sound medical theory
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:46, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

As a doctor I heartily recommend this treatment plan.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:48, Reply)

I've always worked on the premise that
I drink and smoke weed all the time, but your cold virus is not used to being exposed to these things so won't stand up to it as well...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:50, Reply)

until you generate a mutated form that can tolerate booze and skunk, though
then we're all fucked and it'll be your fault.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:54, Reply)

On the plus side, they might name it after me

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:55, Reply)

I recently fucked my immune system sideways with half a bottle of red wine
It turns out that it had barely been clinging on, and daring to celebrate a rare Forest win on Saturday night caused me to spend entirety of the next day lying in bed gibbering and cursing Ishmael Miller's name
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Anti-semitism?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Possibly
Do you get black Jews now?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:00, Reply)

Not in my back yard!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Those are moles

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I give you
Sammy Davis Jr, and Whoopi Goldberg. Do with them what you will.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:05, Reply)

This is the toughest game of "who would you rather?" I've ever played

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:07, Reply)

Sammy Davis Jnr.?

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Jack Benny: "What's your handicap?"
Sammy Davis Jr: "Talk about handicap — I'm a one-eyed Negro Jew."

In case you don't understand, he was asking about his golf handicap
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Ah, he was making it up
A black, Jewish, half-blind Puerto Rican proving to a prejudiced American public that all you need to become rich and famous is a ludicrous amount of talent and very well-connected friends? I heard he was actually a blonde caucasian with 20/20 vision who blacked up for sympathy lols.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:07, Reply)

You're driveling again Foxtrot
It must be the syphilis.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:08, Reply)

We've all done that

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Not I
There are no black people in Norwich
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Well of course not.
That would mean someone had gone outside of their own family gene pool.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Do sheep count?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

No, you're thinking of horses. And dogs. But only if you train them.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Ahh, right
Cheers
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:18, Reply)

SPEAK NOT THE DEVIL'S TONGUE

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Sammy Davis Jnr.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Jewnior?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:12, Reply)

I can't fucking stand the Gallaghers
Sounds like a plan!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 8:55, Reply)

My mate (who is a bouncer) once took great delight in telling whichever is the more obnoxious one to fuck off.
It's a simple story, but it makes me happy, apparently the other one is quite nice, if rather apologetic for his cock-head brother.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:03, Reply)

wait...
Liam's defintely a cunt. Noel's definitely a cunt. Is there a third Gallagher on the grassy knoll?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Not a clue.
Sorry, I know very little about Oasis except for their epic shitness.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:06, Reply)

They supported my mate's band in the early nineties.
they were cunts then, too

/my only "tesco value Monty" rock'n'roll story.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:10, Reply)

There is a fat brother called Paul
But he is also a cunt.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Yes.
I believe he's called Paul, or something. He wasn't enough of a twat to join the group.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:08, Reply)

Rumour has it that Noel can be a nice bloke
as long as he's a) not talking about his astonishingly inept musicianship, of which he is bizarrely proud, and b) in the company of Liam, who he is genuinely embarrassed by.

There is a third Gallagher brother, who has never besmirched the world of music despite an abject lack of talent in the field.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Never besmirched the world of music?
I give you Brubaker: www.last.fm/music/Brubaker
Admittedly he only managed them, and they were shit in their own right. But still, he was involved and was indeed a cunt.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:19, Reply)

That's news to me, I admit
If it's all the same to you, I won't click the link. I've an inkling I may regret it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Give this a listen then
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvV4RD2zKoc
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:26, Reply)

I'm going to need a description
if it's remotely Oasis-related I cannot be held responsible for my actions
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:29, Reply)

It's fine - it's death metal

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Heavy as fuck.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:33, Reply)

That might be the best death metal song title I've ever heard

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Their song titles aren't the most 'metal', but some do amuse me. Here's the track listing for that album.
01. Gash In The Attic 04:50
02. Cyclopath 04:09
03. (O)Beast 04:48
04. Chicken Poodle Soup 04:30
05. Semi Skinned Milf 06:02
06. Killed to Bits 04:52
07. Quadraspaz 03:47
08. Centipaedophile 04:43
09. Columbine Harvester 04:42
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:36, Reply)

Hahaha
They're the Steel Panther of Death Metal
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:42, Reply)

The bassist is a good mate of mine as well
If I can, I'll be getting hammered with the band this weekend, in Liverpool.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)

*shockers*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 9:43, Reply)