We're returning from Pierbash.
It was so much more awsome than I expected. The highlight was when some lads kicked off on the station while we were waiting for the trains. We feared for out lives until Amberl stepped in. Which courage remeniscent of Boris Johnson she faced then down, told them to stop being silly and go home. They one went and bloody did it. I was most impressive.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:13, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

*YOU* were impressive?
I think not. Did YOU win the Off Topic Crazy Golf invitational? Did YOU score a hole in one? Did YOU punch a donkey or charm a seagull? No. You did none of these things.

The day, however, was fab. Especially the bit where we foiled that bank robbery, helped that old lady across the street, won a million pounds on the pier bingo and donated it straight to the orphanarium, and when Amberl hit you in the face with a golf ball.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:39, Reply)

Hello b3th, my darling.... did you have a good time? I hope you did, it sounds like it.
I really would have liked to have been there, to tell you the truth, but I could not get out of work today and going out Wed, Thurs, Fri, Fri, Sat & Sun would totally ruin me.

I'm pleased you went though, because it shows a willingness to go to b4shes, which means there is a chance that one day, for one moment, for one time, I can give you a hug while sniffing your hair.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:49, Reply)

One day, Gonz. One day.
Until then, we'll just have to love from afar.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:56, Reply)

Like Romeo and Julliet, like Samson and Delighler, like Tony and Maria, like Sunny and Cher, like.... like Gonz and B3th.
Aww man, come tomo, you'll have fun, I'll have fun, it's a win-win for everyone involved, especially me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:00, Reply)

whups, typo was meant to be "it" not "I"
All credit goes to Amberl for thrashing the oiks.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:51, Reply)

And when she did that roundhouse kick and got that one oik right in the head
Oh man, there was blood everywhere!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:53, Reply)

Did you get fingerbanged on the pier by CQ?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:57, Reply)

Are you next in line?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:31, Reply)

Rory'll take anything he can get.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:14, Reply)

*stomps feet*
you aren't allowed adventures without me!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:00, Reply)

You could have been tehre.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:02, Reply)

:(
only if i were naughty
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:03, Reply)

You should have been!
They had their own stall on the pier 'What the Butler saw' with the unique and fully patented sniffovision. At appropriate points the paying punters got to sniff CQ's freshly dipped fingers...
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:05, Reply)

sounds like
you had fun at your imaginary fantasy bash, rory
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:09, Reply)

It's all troo, they made almost a fiver and had lashings of ginger beer after

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:14, Reply)

there were lashings
but no ginger beer involved.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:45, Reply)

*wiggles eyebrows*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:55, Reply)

We made rude gestures inn the direction of Wales and thought of you.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:33, Reply)

*heartwarmed*
in which case I hope you had a lovely time
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:35, Reply)

Top breaking news from the West Country
So - the much vaunted pier was eclipsed by some chavs on a station?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:40, Reply)

Top News
Amberl is the daughter of Chuck Norris
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:36, Reply)

i can believe this

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:37, Reply)

You better
...or she'll roundhouse kick Wales to the Moon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:38, Reply)

fuck off, you're meant to say
it was shit so I don't feel all sad. I even bought cider today to make me feel better - there was meant to be one called Weston Special Reserve, which would have been perfect but they'd run out.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 19:59, Reply)

I haz zyder too
nomnomnomnom

Actually, it was supposed to be red wine but I forgot to go and buy some and thus had to raid the beer fridge in the garage.

I am also chock full of pizza
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:30, Reply)

well done, this sounds like a win
i have made spag bog all on my own (probably, 5 minutes until I find out if I made poison by accident)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:33, Reply)

Spag bol is very under-rated I feel
Mrs Cow does a mental version with loads of cheese in it. We all love it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:34, Reply)

it's my attempt to stop just eating
pasta with cottage cheese on it. Also trying to eat less crap as I'm beginning to find my jeans are getting smaller :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:36, Reply)

You are obviously washing them at too high a temp
That's it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:37, Reply)

it's the only explanation

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:41, Reply)

Mine must have been in the same wash
Nothing at all to do with pizza, no sir
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:43, Reply)

you washed pizza?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:45, Reply)

Possibly

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:46, Reply)

Have you thought about learning about the US Civil War?
Just a thought?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:46, Reply)

um...no
have things between you and cq gone sour? I'm not surprised he was totally flirting with battered the other day
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:50, Reply)

But - I mean - he likes the larger lady
And I'm not a lady.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:54, Reply)

Custers Creams?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:50, Reply)

Nathaniel Lyons - maid?

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:53, Reply)

Don't you Pickwick on me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:55, Reply)

Don't do this
It's a Nathan Bedford Forrest to fight through.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:57, Reply)

I'll (Gettysburg) address this now then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:59, Reply)

Farragut answer
I'm stumped. And I Meade it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:05, Reply)

I've just messaged BGB on Facebook to lament about not making it.
Cos things are shit in our house this week.

I'm glad you all had fun though, and saved the world, etc.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:29, Reply)

Wassup?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:35, Reply)

Illness, tiredness, lack of funds
and work.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:17, Reply)

Ahh
Parenthood in one sentence, right there
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:18, Reply)

I've just got back from Pierbash.
Christ almighty, it, like, got PROPER naughty at the station, and there were fists flying everywhere and the station staff were all, 'Oh, what a shame, if this had happened yesterday we'd have totally sorted it, but we've got new shirts on, so we can't.' But step forward Amberl. She totally got up in their grill and gave them all a proper slap.

I've been Danny Dyer, and you've been watching The Internet.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:46, Reply)

I like this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:47, Reply)

Evening Sporty.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:48, Reply)

Evening Jeff
Pier good then? I am very jealous of all this bashing this weekend
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:49, Reply)

You'll be even more jealous when I tell you that I bought a dozen sticks of rock for the people
At tomorrow nights bash to enjoy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:52, Reply)

*smashes laptop keyboard with face, sobbing uncontrollably*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:53, Reply)

Flavours various as well.
So not just mint.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:55, Reply)

LEAVE SPORTSCOW ALONE
*sobs*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:59, Reply)

*There There*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:01, Reply)

*feels not at all better*
*wipes nose on sleeve*

Ooh, Walking Dead is now now!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:02, Reply)

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:54, Reply)

Yes!
Although if Amberl wants it, she can have it all. No way am I going to cross her.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

In fact, when we got back to Bristol, I got Amberl to wait with me until my bus turned up, just to be on the safe side.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:57, Reply)

Haha my threatening presence scared off the lurking thugs

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:27, Reply)

And it forced the number 40 bus to turn into the 40a, which was the bus YOU wanted.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:33, Reply)

I for one welcome our Oxbridge Overlord

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:36, Reply)

I want this as my sig

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:45, Reply)

man, then is MUST be true
Amberl is chuck noris junior
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:49, Reply)

See, I told you!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:49, Reply)

you were right
the evidence just mounts up
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:51, Reply)

When DCI Roota is unavailable, Inspector Sportscow must act

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:52, Reply)

have you got yourself some lunch yet?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:49, Reply)

Not yet, I'll cook something shortly.
I need to catch up with some e-mails first.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:51, Reply)

I've been both rock and indeed roll this evening
I've caught up on my email, volunteered to be on call all week next week and finished all my documentation.

Do I get a star?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:53, Reply)

You could get an ice-cream from the place that B3th took us to.
They had billions* of different flavours.

*Well, quite a lot.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:55, Reply)

what did you have?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

He didn't. He was boring.
I had banoffee and white choclate with honeycomb. It was rather yummy.
I also had a flake in it, which turned out to be a flake and a half, because the first one broke.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:57, Reply)

Dark choc would have been betterer

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:58, Reply)

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom
this will now be a part of my best dreams
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:58, Reply)

Nothing.
I didn't much fancy having an ice-cream as I'd not had lunch, but whils they were getting their ice-creams, I went and got some rock.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:58, Reply)

I like the sound of this
Who actually went then?

Jeff
BGB
b3th
CQ
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

amberl Norris

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:57, Reply)

I thought that went without saying
She is omnipresent
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:57, Reply)

I have now had CHIPS
and I'm about to attack some alcomahol. Then I may fall into a deep sleep, and may not wake up until Monday morning.

Did you take your trophy home?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:56, Reply)

That sounds like a winning plan
How is b3th? Your elbows and stuff better?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:57, Reply)

b3th is fine, but tired.
mr b3th is also fine, except that after I got him home from the hospital this morning, he went arse over tit and sprained his ankle.

Meh, what're ya gonna do? *shrugs*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:01, Reply)

As your physician, I'd recommend "fuck all" tomorrow then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:02, Reply)

No, I couldn't be arsed to carry it.
Instead, Blousie has it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:57, Reply)

is it a part of the pier?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:58, Reply)

No, it's a beautifully engraved tankard, presented to me for winning the first ever
Off-Topic Pro Celebrity Crazy Golf Invitational.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 20:59, Reply)

Cool!
We demands pics!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:00, Reply)

Well you won't be getting any!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:01, Reply)

Harsh maaaaaan

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:03, Reply)

I had my plus-fours on.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:03, Reply)

sweet

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:00, Reply)

No, the rock will be sweet, the golf result was largely unchallenged.
Although Blousie got a hole in one!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:03, Reply)

mumbles pier bash next?
i reckon I could find somewhere with crazy golf
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:04, Reply)

Well you put the research in, and I might be available to defend my title.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:05, Reply)

If you didn't keep the trophy
how can you prove you won?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:07, Reply)

Because I'll be drinking from the engraved tankard tomorrow night when Blousie brings it to the other bash.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:11, Reply)

There is no other bash.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Oh yes there is!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:25, Reply)

panto bash?!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

You've missed it.
IT'S BEHIND YOU!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:32, Reply)

*looks behind her*
No, that's just my youth.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:35, Reply)

it's on
www.swansea.gov.uk/index.cfm?articleid=29832

well...in may anyway
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:07, Reply)

She was totally awesome today

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:04, Reply)

She was indeed.
But not as hard as Amberl.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:06, Reply)

Looking forward to finally meeting you tomorrow old chap!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:23, Reply)

My liver isn't.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:25, Reply)

Have gazzed you

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:26, Reply)

No one is naturally
I think I should imitate Battered, and become Batterer
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:29, Reply)

Just don't batter me please!
Had enough of that in the past hence the username!
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:30, Reply)

Fear the Amberl.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:33, Reply)

Only if she's holding a golf stick

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:37, Reply)

Hey I got some excellent shots
including a very reasonable one at Comrade
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:45, Reply)

intentional or accidental?
you are still coming tomorrow I take it? what's your plan for sleeping arrangements?
(berk, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:46, Reply)

berk. I'm pinning all my hope on you tomorrow.
Blousie told me there would be no cheese and pineapple, and I just hope that even though you're dead busy and stuff, the lemon drizzle cake might happen.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 22:05, Reply)

bugger, I forgot about that
i'll see what I can do.
(berk, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 22:16, Reply)

Don't worry!
I've got rock from the pier to bring!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 22:18, Reply)

It'll certainly teach him to stand well out of the way*




*in the next county
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 30 Sep 2011, 21:48, Reply)

I dunno about that, Wales isn't that far away...

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Sep 2011, 22:04, Reply)