THREADJACK-YOUR BODY.
Sorry for barging in and all that, but I just wanted to say a fucking GIGANTIC thank you to those generous and kind-hearted souls who made my birthday the best one I can remember (this is not as impressive a claim as it might be from someone else due to my addled pate….). It was lovely to see you all, I really had a marvellous time. My gifts were simply delightful - to my shame the cognac was all but gone by the following Tuesday.

I’ve been ill pretty much since then which is fucking bent, and work is hell so you’ll not be seeing too much of me for a bit but HELLO YOU CUNTS for now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:29, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Sorry I missed it
hope you get better soon*

*idle wishes
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:30, Reply)

It was ACE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Rub it in why don't you

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

*rubs it in*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Hello you musty old flange
Sorry i didn't make your birthday but i heard you are a right cunt so I didn't really fancy it.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Lucky you didn't come, actually -
turns out TEDIOUS BENDERS weren't allowed in, anyway.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Wooooooooooo! glad you enjoyed it.
Poooooooooooo! hope you get better soon you cunt.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I think I might die instead.
Leave a beautiful corpse and all that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:33, Reply)

PS I am not confessing to having killed Lusty here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

As long as you enjoyed the Cognac : )

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I was touched profoundly by such a magnificent gesture.
Near on blubbed, I did - nothing AT ALL to do with the two E's I cheekily necked whilst on the 'wheels of steel'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Pfft! and I thought you really loved me.

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:43, Reply)

Oh I do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Oh
it is you, I thought someone had stolen your username.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Your card was stupendous. Thanks a lot.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:32, Reply)

No problem, getting that printed in boots was fun.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:34, Reply)

You should have tried it in sandals.

( Kroney, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:45, Reply)

That made me smirk too.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:52, Reply)

AFTERNOON, YOU TERRIBLE CUNT!
Hope all is well
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:31, Reply)

Only a fortnight to go until I find out if I am going to go bankrupt.
I fucking love my life, me, LOVE IT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:35, Reply)

You know london, where should I take someone between near either kings cross or Finchley road?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

Euphemism alert!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:39, Reply)

UP THE SHITTER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:40, Reply)

There are some OK bars near Kings Cross, Finchley Road's a bit shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Anywhere good to play pool near there.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Camino near Kings Cross is really good.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Thanks!!!!

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:45, Reply)

You're Welcome!!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Not a fucking clue.
I've only played pool once in my entire life. I nearly got beaten up by some yokels in Lyme Regis afterwards, so that was the end of my pool career.

The King's Cross snooker club is supposed to be quite good, but I've no idea whether pool even goes on in such places or whether it is frowned upon. Sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

I don't know how I have to sort this shit out, when she lives in london and I don't
but apparently I do, bitches be trippin.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Punch her in the fucking tits.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Cunt Punt

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:48, Reply)

It's a test
You are likely to fail, but this won't necessarily have any bearing on her opinion of you because she will make (or already have made) her decision about whether she likes you or not based on something entirely unrelated that you will never understand.
That is the sum total of my knowledge on women. Good luck with that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Even that is still a million times more than the Luggage will ever know.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I might just reply with a link to Timeout and say "make your own fucking decision"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Bound to impress her
Women love an assertive man.
But she'll probably go without you then. Soz.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Wotcha Tango.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Eh up Monto
Hope you had a good birthday/bash?
I did already ask you this once, but it turned out to be some hilarious sockbert masquerading as you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 15:02, Reply)

How LOLARIOUS.
It was fucking superb. Nice to see a lot of folks. Finally met Jeff for the first time too. He is excellent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I wish I could have made it, but the Mrs already had other plans...
It sounds as though most folks enjoyed it though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I only recovered my turntables and records a few days ago.
I was rather worried they'd either nicked them themselves or not kept them locked up safe - but all was well.

I (Stunned and I) think I (we)'ll do one of them every year, so you have plenty of notice for next time...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 15:20, Reply)

I will be at the next one

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 15:27, Reply)

London is a sprawling Metropolis.
She'll have as much idea what is going on in it as you have. I suspect that being a bloke, she'll think you have a better chance of sussing out a decent pool venue.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Hullo Monts.
Good to see you again, hope I didn't infect you on your birthday.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:45, Reply)

*checks*
Nope, still straight.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Excellent.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 17 Oct 2011, 14:55, Reply)