no, i am so hungover that my eyes are bleeding
i do have one memory of last night's date which i had to laugh at when it came back to me. really nice guy, can't say i fancied him, but many vodkas and a really good laugh in, when he wanted to go for the snog, i seem to have thought why not.

i just have this memory of him pulling away, looking deeply into my eyes, and stroking my hair with this soulful expression on his face. i asked if he was ok. oh yes, definitely, he said. i was just thinking..... oh, about what? i asked. heartbeat. then he said:

"about us going home together?"

mmm. romantic AND classy! ah well. roll on sunday's illicit meeting with the ex, it can't get any worse.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:50, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What a player

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)

i know! i don't want to be mean, because he is funny, clever and interesting
but that was a bit doom-laden!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I don't remember going out last night?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:52, Reply)

that's because we were so damn good together that your brain has melted with the bliss of it all

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

you should have givin him 1 for effort

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

where do i say that i didn't?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

you filthy disgusting slut, you SICKEN ME

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

my work here is done

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

sounds cheesy to me
that, or I'm just jealous
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:53, Reply)

BEHAVE YOURSELF.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:54, Reply)

+ YOUNG LADY

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

last night was fine
it's sunday that i shouldn't be doing. i don't have a single IRL friend i can admit it to, they would all disown me on the spot!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON FOR THIS.
Don't be a knob.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

i know
but this guy has really messed with my head :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Which ex? the six pack?

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Yes, the gay one.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:08, Reply)

the problem is that guys like the one last night
only make me realise how clever and funny and sweet and hot the six-pack is!

even though i know he's also colossally fucked-up.

why do girls like the fucked-up ones? why?! is it because we think we can cure them?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:16, Reply)

He's also a total bender.
And a bit foreign. And has a 'nipple ring'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:18, Reply)

there is some truth in what you say
i should cancel sunday, shouldn't i.

doom.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Yes definitely.
Watching you sabotage yourself is brilliant.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:23, Reply)

i'd probably think that too
if plastering a fence was the highlight of my weekend
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Is that some sort of legalese slang?
Because it doesn't make any sense.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

You'd need a hell of a lot of PVA.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:28, Reply)

ask your sister
she'll explain it in words of one syllable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Hang on, I think i've got it
it's what your boyfriend, sorry, ex boyfriend, says when he is going out to shoot hot spunk all over another mans face. He refers to them as "fences" because he pays them money to "fence" his spunk. He doesn't consider that to be sexual or he'd have to admit to being gay, so he reserves the word "hooker" for women who he pays so he can sit in the corner of their room and cry at not actually wanting to stick his willy in them.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:34, Reply)

no...
... that wasn't it.

try again, suburbia-boy.

although irritatingly, it was quite funny.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Really? Surburbia boy is the best you can do?
I don't even live in the suburbs.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:52, Reply)

You know I'm your friend, right?

( Kroney, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:55, Reply)

fucked-up GAY
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

OR
fucked-up + THE ARSEHOLE BY MARINERS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Ha ha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

it's mean
but it's funny
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Buggered if I know : (
My relationship history speaks for itself.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:20, Reply)

...and therefore you need no contact for at least two months.
Do not do this. You will be more upset if you do than if you don't meet up.

Listen to me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:10, Reply)

You can't dissuade her.
We wimmin are fools.
( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:12, Reply)

I have been exploiting this foolishness for twenty years.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I haven't really. That was a lie.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Ironically Lusty has been exploiting the same foolishness in you for quite a while now.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Late starter.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I was an early starter
but in my mid-late teens I was only interested in MDs, it wasn't until ecstacy came out that I remembered I had a penis again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:17, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

I wasn't into drugs that early. Lots of drinking but too scared of drugs then.
Cars were the nly other thing apart from girls and booze that I was in to.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Booze at 12
Pot at 13
LSD at 15
Ecstasy at about 18
Cocaine at 19
Dead at 40
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:24, Reply)

40 38 & 3 months.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:26, Reply)

We can only hope.
That said, who will make the hats for your daughter?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)

This just goes to show how fickel women are.
If you had actually fancied him and he had done that, you would have been boasting about how after he kissed you, he said "was just thinking....."

"oh, about what?" i asked.

heartbeat.

then he said:

"about us going home together?"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:55, Reply)

And then about how you reckoned he was probably a demon in the sack
only you can't really remember because you were too drunk.

But it definitely wasn't rape.

And then you'd start crying.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

there's only one DEMON IN THE SACK
i can't see anyone else measuring up to that for a very long time :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:00, Reply)

IT would ahve been more effective if he'd unzipped as he said it

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

about us going home together? about smashing your backdoors in behind Safeway
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:56, Reply)

Yeah, late 90s OLD SKOOL

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

there may be some truth in this
but it would still have been a tick in the negative column for me, even if he had been bradley cooper.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:58, Reply)

That link you put up yesterday to a law website was really boring

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

law is really boring!
welcome to my world.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Yes, but i can only imagine the satisfaction of turfing ot some scrounging squatters onto the cold streets
It's a pleasure I'll never know
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:01, Reply)

On your way home from work you could make a homeless person hold a sign saying "I'm also a union member"
and then kick them in the face.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Sounds like a plan
I'll get drunk on Cognac first
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

it might become a criminal offence soon

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:04, Reply)

And yet we still haven't gone out for a bit of grub !
Oh well.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:07, Reply)

we are going out with monty and lusty and clendrix as soon as he is well enough!
and hopefully tgb too.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Oh man, it's a like a gathering of my favourite b3tans in the world.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:25, Reply)

i am excited

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 10:27, Reply)