Three years ago my work ran a "proper" Halloween fancy dress competition
No-one made much of an effort except me. I really went for it. Full-on witch costume, hat, broomstick, face paint, the works. This is because I worked for a photographic retailer and the prize, provided and judged by the rep from Canon, was a fucking printer.

When the winner was announced - the girlfriend of the chap who'd invited the Canon rep in and chosen the prize, who was wearing a sort of pumpkin thing on her head - there was an audible intake of breath, and everyone turned to look at me. I wish I could say I'd stood up and shouted foul incantations, or even just delivered a verse or two of Defying Gravity, but I was on the phone and couldn't even swear.

I've just realised this story is rubbish, so I shall attempt to make it look like some kind of post-ironic troll-baiting exercise with the addition of a single word.

Cheers.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 8:57, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Cunt her in the fuck, its the only way

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

So, not even a witchy flounce or a hubble-bubble?
Poor show.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 8:58, Reply)

When did you meet again?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Shakespeare lol

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:01, Reply)

Very good
My Defying Gravity ref is cooler though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

I didn't get it
sorry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:06, Reply)

It's from Wicked
You fucking hetero
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:07, Reply)

My ex dragged me to see Wicked
it was SHIT
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

*is not shocked*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Fuck the fuck off
Wicked is brilliant. Probably the second-best musical I've ever seen, and I've seen a LOT of musicals. Surprisingly.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

The only musical I enjoyed was Rent.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

musical conquest
+boys
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:11, Reply)

Haven't seen it on stage
I'm ashamed to admit the godawful film production put me off, didn't think much of the songs. I know the stage show is bound to be better but the film had so many of the original cast that I decided not to seek it out.

Also; Rent? Bender.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I was surprised at quite how much I liked Sweeney Todd when I first watched it
It is an excellent film
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I enjoyed that as well.
I may have been quite drunk though.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

...on Becks blue?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Off you fuck, there's a good chap

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Alright Malcolm?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

YOU MASSIVE GAY SHITE!
FUCK OFF!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:25, Reply)

Oh sweet Jesus. Musicals.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Fuck me I hate musicals

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)

They are full of pointless.
Se a film, read a book, listen to music. Combine them? Get RIGHT to fuck.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

I really want them to do Son Of A Witch.
I thought the best thing about Wicked was the set, it's fucking magnificent, soooo many neon lights. I want a giant huge clock in my living room.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:23, Reply)

I wonder if you can get a set designer to decorate your house?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Probably Gonz but it would cost a fortune.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:29, Reply)

I had a look around the backstage area after watching Wicked
It was fucking brilliant. The costumes are amazingly elaborate up close.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Stuff like that really (broom)sticks with you.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Witch puns? Really?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Those puns there
Look
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:09, Reply)

Oh, very good
Very good indeed
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

I have my punning pants on today

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Poor darth :'(
A small tear rolls down his cheek, smudging the green make-up and adding to the hot embarassment spreading across his face. He turns and walks away, picking up his dress so as not to trip over it and bunching what little pride he has left. I've failed you again father, he thinks sadly to himslef.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Ha ha.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Now I know how Elphaba felt

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:14, Reply)

:'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Stop encouraging his terrifically bent musical ways.
We'll get this boy straight, even if we have to bugger the bentness out of him.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:22, Reply)

*rolls up sleeves*
Well, I was planning on making some breakfast but I can fit in a good old fashioned stop-being-a-bender-or-I'll-bum-you.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:27, Reply)

It's a win/win, mm.
what could possibly go wrong?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:28, Reply)

Finding sequins round your bellend afterwards

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:30, Reply)

Gayest STD ever.
The happy clap.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Top drawer that man.

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:34, Reply)

Ha!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:35, Reply)

Oh, go on then
*bends over*
*drops pantaloons*
*proffers lube*

I'm not going to enjoy this. Not one bit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:39, Reply)

Oi, who said anything about lube?

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

It's no fun unless they fight.
/rapist
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:40, Reply)

Do a gay version of the rodeo position
Tell him is dad is a better fuck and then see how long you can stay on.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

Whisper Quentin in his ear. See how long before he cries.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:42, Reply)

I got an email from Quentin Wilson the other day, I shit you not.
he's got a great deal on third party car warranties apparently.
( RocketSurgeon is pretending he's still young, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:49, Reply)

I hope it was helpful.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:51, Reply)