squawk squawk SQUAWK squawk
SQUAWK squawk,SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK
squawk: SQUAWK SQUAWK SQUAWK squawk squawk?

*ruffles feathers*
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:04, 127 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Timely, I'm calling Quentin as Gilgamesh's alt.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:05, Reply)

Hi Baldmonkey.
Found the vibrator yet?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:06, Reply)

It's Gilgamesh's parrot.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:07, Reply)

*pecks cuttlefish bone*

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:09, Reply)

Alright Team Battered
GO GO GO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:15, Reply)

Who's doin the profile badge?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:15, Reply)

What's this team Battered thing?
Good evening Rory.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:16, Reply)

It's like internet war ain't it. AndyC is threatening big time to name Mr and Mrs Battered on the internet
We all have to take sides man, it's the rooles. Where the fuck does that fat cunt get off.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:28, Reply)

Pfft.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:31, Reply)

Watch out battered he's after you

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:38, Reply)

has bobby been bou all along?????
*shocked face*
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:46, Reply)

Bobby = Bou
It all makes perfect sense now
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:58, Reply)

squeak week WEEEEK
blibble squonk WEEEEk
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:10, Reply)

*startled*

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:15, Reply)

*popcorns*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:21, Reply)

SQUAWK!!!
*pecks*
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:24, Reply)

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek
*hides*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:25, Reply)

*hops on perch. blinks rapidly*

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:26, Reply)

Parrots have incredibly well developed social skills in the wild
They live in very well defined communities.

Possibly not the best creature to adopt by a no-life.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:11, Reply)

*looks in the mirror and ponders irony*
squawk
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:13, Reply)

I suspect that you're not a pretty boy then.
Lots of pet parrots were called Joey.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:20, Reply)

squawk squawk SQUAWK

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:23, Reply)

So was this chap named after a parrot or were parrots named after him?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:23, Reply)

That's a "what came first, the spazzer or the egg" question
I was casting Deacon aspersions against today's wonderkid.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:27, Reply)

I think I may be getting soft in middle age. I feel a little guilty about all the Deacon jokes I enjoyed as a kid.
Maybe it's becoming a parent? Nah... it's just being soft.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:33, Reply)

You need to get a grip
It's perfectly acceptable to call any consenting adult a Spaz, Spakkermodo, Mongy, Flid, Joey, Drooly Deacon, Inbred, etc..

If you believe there's an age limit to such behaviour let me know where it is - I'm 43 on Wednesday and I'd hate to transgress.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:39, Reply)

why have you posted a picture of Monty?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Best new account for ages

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:13, Reply)

*dances and whistles*

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:13, Reply)

I hope you get psittacosis

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:17, Reply)

psittacosis squawk
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:18, Reply)

Oh dear!

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:21, Reply)

Indeed.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:29, Reply)

Evening Battered
I seem to be in the pub.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:31, Reply)

Jeff, you speak animal.
Can you make any sense of this?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:32, Reply)

I think we need Johnny Morris in the house
OK, he's dead, but he might help a bit.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:34, Reply)

Hmm. I have to go unfortunately.
Rainchecked dinner at the in-laws. Shame, I didn't want to miss this.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:36, Reply)

Together with Terry Nutkins with a seal in a cruelly sized water tank.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:36, Reply)

I think he is a bit poorly
But there are no painkillers in the jungle why?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:36, Reply)

Because etc
/doesn't bother finishing.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:37, Reply)

you're a cheatah!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:38, Reply)

Stop lion about me, I can't bear it.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:39, Reply)

And you're trying to pull a fast one.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:40, Reply)

I am, actually.
I have to go shopping. Have fun.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:41, Reply)

Good evening Jeff. I am not in the pub*
Shame you're not in London this week - I am having beers with two separate B3tans on different nights this week and it would've been a pleasure to have you join us. Ensure you get up to London before Christmas please.


*this may change later.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:35, Reply)

I was going to come up
For the weekend when City play Millwall, but it is on telly now. Might not make it up until next year, who are you meeting this week?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:44, Reply)

Monty on (tbc) Wed and BGB hopefully on Friday before she goes to a gig. Haven't seen either of them for over a year.

Wife will be away - hence why I will be able to have a social life of some sorts.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:48, Reply)

I think BGB's gig is on Saturday ol' boy.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:49, Reply)

Ah. Then Saturday it would be.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:59, Reply)

We'll have to sort drinks out soon.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:59, Reply)

Yes. We must.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:06, Reply)

It'll probably be 2012 now.
but I will check. Thinking about it, I haven't taken any time off since June (bar a day for the PIER), maybe a couple of days in the capital is in order.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:13, Reply)

I will also be in Edinburgh before Christmas, so depending on your business trips that could be an option.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:15, Reply)

I'm still owed over a grand
From previous trips, until they come up with that, I am not going again.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:23, Reply)

Fair.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:34, Reply)

right
can I justify staying in and having another cup of tea rather than go to rehearsal? I really really can't be arsed to go, but I need more practise
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:34, Reply)

Have a pie instead

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:35, Reply)

:(
no pies for me. At least for a couple of hours
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:36, Reply)

It's a sad day when there's no place in a person's life for a Hollands Cheese and Onion pie.

( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:44, Reply)

i have never had one of these
I long for a fine meat and potato pie which, as far as I'm aware ceasing being made in the late 90s :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:46, Reply)

Not true.
I remember Sheffield Wednesday away. I had 4 of them as they only had 4 left.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:50, Reply)

no, these are very specific types of pies
btw - how are you not a fatty?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:54, Reply)

It is gods way of making up for the fact I'm a ugly cunt.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:57, Reply)

I'm fat AND ugly
I take solace from pies though.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:01, Reply)

I wish I could take solice in pies.
Pastry doesn't agree with me anymore.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:02, Reply)

You puff

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:08, Reply)

I no rite.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:11, Reply)

It was a pastry gag.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:16, Reply)

Sometimes you have to filo your way around with pun threads.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:25, Reply)

especialy if you're a little flakey

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:26, Reply)

I once had a dream of starting up an aviation catering business that exclusively concentrated on savoury pastry products.
But alas, it all just pie in the sky.

/Fucks off to in-laws for dinner.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:30, Reply)

Also
And I've only just realised this - do you not think that the orchestra might need your input a bit?

"Ha, I'm Simon Rattle. I'll just sit about scratching my balls rather than going to practice."?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:49, Reply)

no - it's a community orchestra
there are 4 other flutes, they'll survive
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:54, Reply)

That's not good thinking
Go and do it. Rather than moping about with us lot.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:00, Reply)

too late
got a cup of tea and it started 5 minutes ago and I live 15 minutes away
Plus I'm the worst flute player there by quite a way, means there will be less wrong notes
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:03, Reply)

PIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpiesPIESpie

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:07, Reply)

spies?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:13, Reply)

Evening all
Finally got round to typing up something I've been wanting to do for a little while, it's a more detailed explanation of that bloody forwarder going round facebook -

I'M DISGUSTED AT THIS COUNTRY In May 2010 Tohseef Shah spray painted a British War Memorial with "islam will dominate osama is coming" he was fined £50 & walked free from court. In November 2010, Emdadur Choudhury burned a Poppy during the 2mins silence. He too was given a £50 fine and walked free from court. Today, 2 men have been sentenced to 12 months in prison for spray painting a Poppy on a mosque. Welcome to the Great British justice system. Disgusting.... Who's brave enough to Copy & Paste this only those who think Great Britain is no longer in control!! -

Load of horseshit. Just glad to get it out of my system, and it means I only need to post one link to those who post it from now on - justpaste.it/ktg

Small tea for me, then I'm off to the quiz.

Also, I've got a ham shank in the freezer, does anyone have any tips for what I can do with it? Soup recipes, pasta recipes, stuff like that?

EDIT: Stupid link, this one should work - justpaste.it/EDLFools
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:54, Reply)

Link them to this....
edlnews.co.uk/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 18:58, Reply)

Brilliant.
"We have the Army and the Intelligence Services to protect this country and we do not see how getting pissed up, fighting and chanting 'Allah is a paedo' is going to improve the security one iota." I like this already.
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:23, Reply)

Note not found.

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:16, Reply)

Your link doesn't work
Also, ham shank. That sounds funny.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:17, Reply)

*taps fingers on bars*
*looks parrot in the eye and moves head side to side*
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:19, Reply)

Are you some kind of parrot whisperer?

(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:19, Reply)

whisperer toucher
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:24, Reply)

I'd totally stroke your feathers

(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:26, Reply)

I bet you would.
And I'd ding my bell and everything.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:27, Reply)

In other news I am playing "Power in a union" by Billy Bragg.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:27, Reply)

Power in OUR Union - I think
(one time Bragg pedantic.)
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:30, Reply)

iTunes says A.
Have moved on to "The Internationale"

Seen him live a couple of times. Excellent. First time was a small gig of 200 of us that had campaigned against the BNP in Barking at the last election.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:33, Reply)

Can't be arsed digging it out to check
Seen him many times until I got bored of his revisionist attitude.

I watched him telling us to vote Blair in 1997 - he denies that he ever said that now.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:39, Reply)

He voted LibDem at the last election. Claimed it was a tactical vote to keep the Tories out of his constituency (somewhere in Dorset I think).
I support his work against the EDL & BNP very much.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)

I admire him
When he stops talking he's one of the best guitarists you'll ever see, and he's an incredible songwriter. He's also a superb social historian.

I dislike his refusal to admit that he might have been wrong at any time.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:58, Reply)

oh dear god
whose meds aren't working now.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:30, Reply)

Who needs meds when you have awesome trousers.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:31, Reply)

trousers BREASTS
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:32, Reply)

BREASTS SQUAWK
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:35, Reply)

SQUAWK I admit I am a completely shit sockpuppet.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:37, Reply)

lolsquawk
*shits on your head*
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:39, Reply)

Care in the community doesn't work. Bedlam should be reopened and they should all be thrown back in there to wipe their faeces on the wall.
Everyone would benefit from a lack of internet connection.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:38, Reply)

As time goes on I find myself agreeing with more and more of your views. I am slightly concerned by this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:39, Reply)

Why can't you talk?
I thought parrots could talk.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:42, Reply)

it learnt to type instead

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:43, Reply)

That's clever but time-consuming.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)

squawk!

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)

Are you learning to talk or is it just squawking and typing for you?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:45, Reply)

*pecks at trill*
squawk YOUR MUM YOUR MUM squawk
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:46, Reply)

OMG I'm gazzing a mod.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:47, Reply)

gazzing squawking
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:48, Reply)

I'm going to work now.
Here's a Lucozade lid filled with whisky.
The old girl next door's budgies liked it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:49, Reply)

squawhic

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:51, Reply)

Christ. Some of you get way too upset about shite comedy accounts.
They don't last anyway. Just start a new thread someone.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:44, Reply)

You could always do it you fucking idiot.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)

Yeah, well fuck you.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:50, Reply)

A new thread will get the same participation so won't achieve anything.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:51, Reply)

I'm still new here.
NOOB DOENS A SILLY.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:58, Reply)

Nawty noob.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:01, Reply)

DOES I GETS SPANKING NOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:03, Reply)

HELL YEAH!!
BEND OVER AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!!????!!
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:08, Reply)

I think it's more unsettled than upset
There's a certain tranquil quality here. We play bowls and feed the ducks in the village pond.

There's a picture of Maggie behind the bar in the local.

Offcomers unsettle us.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:54, Reply)

Fair enough.
If it's a troll getting upset will only make it worse.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:04, Reply)

We could, of course, tar and feather it (because it has no feathers - it's not a real parrot)
And ride it out of town on a rail like we do with all the other un-natural sister-fuckers and miscellaneous sons of bitches that despoil our nice little community.

You sayin' you ain't a god-fearin' christian boy? You ain't welcome in this town.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:09, Reply)

a troll?
I dunno man, this parrot could be the real deal.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:13, Reply)

Just low boredom threshold.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 19:55, Reply)

squawk chili chili chili squawk
www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnOfcDE4mGs
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:00, Reply)

is your real name Birdie, then?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:03, Reply)

You lot can squabble over the next post
I'm at work at 04.45 so it's bedtime.

x
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 7 Nov 2011, 20:23, Reply)