Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Nominative determinismApparently there are a disproportionate amount of lawyers are called Lawrence and Dentists called Dennis. There was also a man, called Michael Jackson, arrested yesterday for bumming small boys.
As Carl Jung put it: Are these whimsicalities of chance or are they meaningful coincidences?
What's in a name eh? Are you like your name, off-topic?
Alt: Something about food, I dunno rice or chips?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:15,
242 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
There are many of me in ITI've personally met two people called the same as me
EDIT:
Also a chef and two professional footballers
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:16,
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Does your name contain IT then?or nerd?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:22,
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It does contain the letters nerd, yescheeky cunt
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:26,
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Funnily enoughMine contains the letters cheeky cunt
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:27,
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I am a lot like my name.I'm big, a girl and I have worn blouses.
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girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:16,
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HmmmI'm neither sporty or a cow
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:17,
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Bearing this in mindWhy are you called sportscow? I've always wondered. Not least because of the number of people, me for example, who assume you're a bird.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:29, Reply)
A drunken conversation many years ago involving cars and animalsIt came to the conclusion that a sportscow would be the best hybrid of the two. This is also the reason my car reg has MOO on it
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:31,
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It is true, I promise!R30 MOO
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:36,
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I couldn't give a fuckMy pic is on my profile and I've said I drive a BMW anyway
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:42,
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I'll take a pic tonight to prove it!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:40,
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BMW 318I, very flash.Getting on a bit though.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:40,
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56 plateNot flash at all TBH. Bottom of the range
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:41,
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1995 it says here.I don't understand these modern new-fangled registrations. You and Beej should form a Northern Beamer Drivers Club
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:43,
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The R bit is 1995 but its a private plateAs long as your car is newer than the reg you put on it is fine.
i.e I can't put a 10 plate on mine. False advertising innit?!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:45,
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Actually I dont know!I think so, yeah
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:51,
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I won't have one for much longer : (It has to go. I'm gutted.
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girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:45,
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NOOOOoooooooooo!Make daddy get you a merc, Like Swipe's, it's the only way you can hold your head up.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:46,
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I love that car : (I'll probably end up with a polo.
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girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:48,
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NOOOOoooooooooo!That blows, can you not get the big truck your sister needed a step ladder to get in to?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:49,
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Too big for me to drive.I have crap spacial awareness.
Off home now. Bye!
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girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:51,
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Shame, it would have suited you.Laters.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:53,
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She'd better get something good of it'll be a let down.The current one has those little M badges that make it go faster.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:48,
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Part of the reason it's going is because of tax and insurance.(
girlinthehole, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:48,
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The tax is cause its a guzzler though eh?I think my tax is £180
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:51,
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Do they make cars out of lentils then?(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:03,
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Also the way she driveswould put Schumacher to shame.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:52,
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Insofar as I've never met anyone else with my nameand googling me only gets me, I guess I must be.
alt: rice for pudding. Chips for gravy.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:21,
Reply)
I'm of the opinion that you should retrain as a lawyer, and open your own firmCall it "*Your real surname* law."
If nothing else, it'd be entertaining for confusing people.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:29,
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Peejo's real surname is LA?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:31,
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No, he is actually the gap toothed "rapper" from the ShamenMr C
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:31,
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And the C stands for Coles?He is a cabbage salad?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:33,
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I have no idea what you are on about tangles!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:34,
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AA suggested he open a law firm and give it his surname:Coles law?
Oh forget it...
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:37,
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*glares**points fingers towards own eyes then yours*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:40,
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*squares up to sporto**sharts*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:42,
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officelolThere was a shart incident at my stag do, though not by me.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:42,
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U.S.Federal
The really annoying one from How I Met Your Mother, what's his name, oh I remember it's
This last one would make for an awesome birth certifcate
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:36, Reply)
Blimey, that was a hairy few minutesThanks to AA for hooking me up with a proxy. Fucking work firewalls. I almost had to go elsewhere for my internet validation! THE HORROR
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:25, Reply)
Is this some sort of gay slang?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:26,
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No worries mateBe very careful for a few days though, I'd advise staying off here altogether for that. If they've blocked a site due to excessive usage, they might be keeping an eye on you.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:27,
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Yeah this had occurred to me. They've blocked and unblocked it before
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:27, Reply)
UnbelievableAnyone would think this site contained offensive material or something.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:28,
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I NO RITEWhat a bunch of cunts
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:29,
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Chances are the main site will have been blocked by a normal filter systemI can only access the QOTW part of here with the proxy server turned on
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:28,
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It was blocked at router level here, but so were a shit ton of other sites that people needed for research (e.g. LinkedIn was blocked under 'Social Networking')Wasn't hard to convince the boss to allow us to turn off the content blocker.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:30,
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We have facebook blocked here yet our developers are writing an app for it. I'm wondering how that works
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:32,
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We only have 3 sites blocked hereFacebook, Youtube and a forum that one girl used to spend hours a day on.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:33,
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Well, I'm definitely agnostic.And my real name is the same as a producer and a dead soldier. However, I'm clearly better than either of them.
Alt: Curry, rice and chips is wonderful.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:28,
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I was waiting for a northerner to go for the half-rice half-chips option.Atheism not good enough for you eh?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:30,
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I don't believe in God, per seI do believe in something, an all controlling force, something like that.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:31,
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I dunnoI've seen a lot of strange stuff, but nothing to make me believe there's some sort of all-powerful force controlling everything. It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:33, Reply)
What you need is a good blaster(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:34,
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dunno what the fuck you lot are on about, non of those ones rhyme with homosexual(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:34, Reply)
I knew one other guy with my real name at UniHe was a complete anus. As well.
My username is very obviously enormously apt based on my interests/level of tragic bastard-ness
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:32, Reply)
I happen to think its an excellent username(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:33,
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+ for a gay Star Wars fan(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:35,
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Complete lover of anus more like it
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:37,
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To match DOWN BELOW OW ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:39,
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Careful sporto, you nearly fell in(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:41,
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One day I am going to come to your house and engulf your family.Then you'll be sorry
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:41,
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I'm only funning, promisemwah! x
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:46,
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My boobs are awesome as they are(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:41,
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Sure there's lots on my facebook(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:45,
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Is that your slanty eyes when you are on vinegar strokes?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:50,
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:52,
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Oh that reminds meWhat happened to Bella?
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:57,
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I can only reveal such priviliged information to my FB friendsOr: she got fed up with certain people winding her up every time she came online and flounced.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:01, Reply)
oh man I'd have liked to have seen that(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:02,
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Nothing much to see in terms of a flounceShe got properly stuck into RSwipe at one point, but her actual flounce was something of a non-event. She just texted me one day to say she'd had enough of it. Sorry.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)
Several schools, and Congleton is a small town, so I know shitloads from there.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:00,
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My cousin has in excess of 900 friendsand he's an utter cunt, always has been
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:01, Reply)
I have under 80 because I hate everyone(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:02,
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This is your way of saying you're not going to accept my request, isn't it(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:03, Reply)
Oh I'll accept it then write hilarious comments on all your pictures(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:20,
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Even gay guys like boobs. weird
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:51,
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Have you ever seen Gok Wan?That guy can't keep his hands off them!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:52,
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No darling, I watch good TV shows(
TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:53,
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It's like magic.Someone mentions boobs and I appear. I really do time these things well.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:43,
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*mentions boobs again*EDIT:
Actually this sounds like I'm trying to get rid of you.
CLERK! Strike the remark from the records!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:46,
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I didn't think that at all.You and Gonz seem to be the only two who are ever happy to see the three of us.
And yes, by that I mean me and my boobs.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:56,
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Just saw somethingthat made me think of you
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:48,
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My maiden name is shared by an author and a US soap actressMy married name is shared by some weird religious nut in America. I'm not sure I've ever come across any particular field which has more than an average number of Elizabeths. Except 'being posh'. There's quite a lot of posh Elizabeths.
I bet there's more beauty therapists called Tiffany, Cindy and Brittany than there are lawyers and doctors.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:42,
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There are many many Elizabeths in my family(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:46,
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Are you posh then?It's a family name on both sides of my family, which is why I ended up with it.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:47,
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hahaha!Errr, no. Not at all!
My Mam is Elizabeth, my Nanna was Elizabeth, my daughter is Elizabeth, Mrs Cow's mam's middle name, etc, etc, etc, etc.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:48,
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My name is full of awesome cause I'm part WOP.Scotch-Italian, fighting with good looks.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:44,
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You mad gayer. Off to Bennetts or the Polo lounge with you.They don't call it Glasgay for nothing!
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:01,
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Last time I was in Glasgow I came away £2,610 richerI'm not going back so as to preserve my wonderful memories of the place
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:05, Reply)
Oh really? What happened?Hpow come you never told us about it?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:09,
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It was a private, personal matterThis is neither the time nor the place
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Sorry mate(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Alcoholic, in very poor health, corrupt and in terrible debt, you mean?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:49,
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+with a Monti in charge what could go wrong with their finances?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:49,
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I cannot believe I had the nerve to post it.Being of Scots descent and almost bankrupt, myself....
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:50,
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I knew there must be a reason everyone on my Scottish side has married into English familiesWe must need the financial stability...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:51,
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My mate is of Italian descent and his family name is the only one in the UKHe can trace his family back over 400 years here
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:49,
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i was right and you were rong doo-dah doo-dahfister is a fuckenmong oh di-do-dah-day
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:08, Reply)
Either spelling is correct, you flidmongGoogle is your friend, and by that, I mean your only friend.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:13, Reply)
Yeah, but he has a better song, so he wins(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:16,
Reply)
You must be using the old version of Google.The current version says that both are acceptable.
And it also says that you are a helmet.
Happy to help.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:54,
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Have you ever been outside?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:02,
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i went out for lunch but dint have time to eat cos i was on the phone to my bank:(((((((((
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:06, Reply)
In a shocking display of complete flid-ismI only got the 'joke' of his name the day before yesterday. This is a new personal low for me.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:54,
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I no rite?It's probably because I just read the Quentin part and glossed over the rest. Or because I'm a complete spacktard.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:57,
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There are no girls on the internetI personally am a trucker called Dave.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:04,
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Thanks.Anytime you want to borrow them, just let me know.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:08,
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*books both out for three weeks on library card*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:12,
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*looks forward to three weeks of being able to walk upright*(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:17,
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*looks forward to going blind over 3 weeks*(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:18,
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born a spasticlives a spastic
will die a spastic
next.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:55,
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Mong thenFlid?
Spaz?
Window licker?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
It really doesn't matter what's "inapporpitae"see your sig for reference
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:58, Reply)
My name is shared with a 'sportsman' who is twice as large as all his opponents.There was a guy at uni with the same name as well. The arrival of the speeding ticket from Grampian Police led to LOLarious consequences.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:50, Reply)
EEE-ZEH! EE-ZEH!!Christ it was shit.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:55,
Reply)
The reason to play out on a Saturday afternoon(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
Hi Giant!Or would you prefer 'Mr Haystacks'?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:54,
Reply)
I was in Braveheartand I write for the Guardian whilst solving complex Mathmatical problems via the medium of Comic Books. DC Comics.
(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:50, Reply)
I found out yesterday that my mate was in Doctor Who!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:55,
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That DG would be impressed, has failed in itself to impress me.Soz
LOL
etc.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:02,
Reply)
Haha, I concede this is a good post Quenters.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:04,
Reply)
You'd prefer to be Paul McCartney?At least Stevie didn't know he was black
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:17,
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Actually I'd like to change my mind.Stevie Wonder isn't half bad, esp when up against 'Macca'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:23,
Reply)
Lose the dreads though, eh?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:24,
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He has been somewhat sullied by constantly being name-checked by talentless singers(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:24,
Reply)
this was funny someone give me credit i was sayin hes been "in" dr who(, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:04, Reply)
That's a very Chompy-like post...Where is he today?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:15,
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I found out the other day that there's a b3tan with a rather attractive (and fairly well known) actress for a sisterWhich was nice.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:19,
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It would seem soI hope I don't catch cuntitis off you
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:23,
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Looks like I'm pretty close to one now(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:24,
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Wasn't George Lamb a b3tan for a while as well?Not that he's an attractive actress, but you know what I mean....
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:23,
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Andrew O'Neill and Ben Goldacre areThey're both sort of famous, if you've heard of them.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:31,
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My name is shared by a top-end Islington antique dealerI have never quite managed to work out how best to fraudulently exploit this fact.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:57,
Reply)
One of the lads in work has a very similar email address to a big TV agentHe frequently gets emails from famous people
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 15:59,
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I prefer Ian's brother 'Jim Jones'EDIT that's a very funny scam though
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:02,
Reply)
Monty is called Ian Revue?Sounds like a gaming mag
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:03,
Reply)
HahaThat is why I wouldn't be allowed to be a judge. I would rule against the company, as anyone that stupid surely deserves to be scammed by him.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:17,
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And the Islington antique dealer shares his name with a Shoreditch antique who knows plenty of dealers.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:06,
Reply)
Once again I find myself planning your execution.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Nov 2011, 16:15,
Reply)
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