Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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SHUT UPso amberl commited suicde cos rachelswipe is shit, who and why and how would you commit suicide?
Big Girls Blouse no need to answer cos we already know
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:32, 112 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I'd have smack a few times, just to get over the vomiting of when you first try it, get a real taste for it, and then overdose on it.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:37,
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I thought this would be how I'd do it,but when I said this in a conversation with someone more au fait with the smack game, I was told firmly that it is not a good way to go after all. It's not the 'warm fog, then go to sleep and don't wake up again' process I believed it to be.
Which is when I came up with the 'your bog' plan below.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:38,
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^ This ^ All my retirement plans are based around a smack habit.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:44,
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I understand massive organ failure and vomiting are involved.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:52,
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But you feel pretty good while all this is going on, right?A chap I spoke to reckoned that when you take a hit you could be lying in a gutter in the pouring rain, but you feel as though you are snug and cosy, wrapped up in a fluffy duvet.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:57,
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This is why homeless types do love it so,but a fatal OD is not pleasant in the bit between the taking it and the dying, so I was told.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:58,
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I might reconsider my options then.What alternative drug-induced deaths can you offer?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:00,
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What about morphine instead?(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:11,
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Isn't heroin a morphine derivative - heated together with acetic acid?/not a chemist
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:16,
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What I'd do, right,is disconnect Gonz's u-bend and attach it to a hose which I'd stick down my throat, so when he did his next human black pudding it would choke me to death.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:37,
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Oh man I'd LOVE to be on the news.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:40,
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Simply nonce up some kids in a bath tub, you'll be newsworthy in no time(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:41,
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Doesn't always work..Last time I did that some other bloke got all the credit for it.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:45,
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Being NakedApe, for example.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:57,
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Who: me, obviouslyWhy: manic depression.
How: Slowly, with soft drugs and alcohol.
*shuts up*
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:41,
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I would steal a Lamborghini and drive it off Beachy Head whilst full of supermodels and karate kicking bullies.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:42, Reply)
so wanking your flacid cock while choking to death on your faulty boiler fumes then?(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:43, Reply)
Boiler fumes get me hardso maybe I might just do the hosepipe in the ass trick.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:58, Reply)
are you still planning to kick the shit out of me though?(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:08,
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I appreciate that I'm in an awful mood but this really is just the worst thread I've ever seen. Apart from being in spectacularly poor taste, even by our standards, it just doesn't make any fucking sense.
So my answer, as I'm on a roll, is Quentin Oftiweak, beaten to death by manic depressives wielding copies of the OED and raging about syntax.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:50, Reply)
Surely it's only in poor taste if Amberl did actually kill hereself.She didn't did she?
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:54, Reply)
I bloody hope notI actually meant that starting a thread about suicide is just fucking shit. Especially since there are actually several manic depressives posting.
Again, my judgement is skewed because I'm in a horrible state and am probably just taking it out on Gary
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:56, Reply)
They don't have to post here.And posting here is about the worst place for someone who is actually depressed to post. Don't get me wrong, I'm sympathetic to those suffering from depression, much as I'm sypathetic to those suffering from cancer and AIDS, but I'm still going to post jokes about depressed people killing themselves, much as I am about cancer and AIDS.
To suggest anything otherwise shows a marked lack of understanding of how this website works.
In other news, I bought a null modem serial cable today to connect my computer to my freeview box. How rock and roll am I.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Erm... very, VERY rock'n'rollYeah.
You're probably right, on another day I might well have just thought "what a twat" instead of losing my rag.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:01, Reply)
he's just boring dudedoesn't incite madness or hatred or depression.
just the occasional disappointed yawn.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:03,
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I'm just in a fucking horrible mood today Look, a whole post without pandering or requesting a titgaz
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:05, Reply)
could be worseyou could be quentin. see, that cheered you up.
huh, and i thought he didn't have ANY use. who knew.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:07,
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I actually haven'tPlease don't underestimate my shockingly low magic number
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:11, Reply)
I don't know.I'd maybe lie there and just try to die, because I wouldn't be carving myself up or puking up tablets.
Fuck it, I just wouldn't kill myself.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:54,
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I'd go out in a joint pact with your hubby to bebecause we both know we can't live without each other.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:55, Reply)
bleeeeeeeeeeeeeuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:57, Reply)
just go home and do it, i look forward to reading about you in the Tatler(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:55, Reply)
I'd probably kill a kiddy fiddler, and then top myself by hanging myself, but I'd tell the internet first, but the police couldn't touch me for it cos I'd have dual nationality(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 10:58,
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* all based on troo b3tan events
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:05,
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There was a classic ?QOTW about some guy wearing a long leather coat and metal toe cap bootswho beats up a peado but doesn't remember it because of the "peasdo rage"
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:17,
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That must be Hairpot as well, the streets of Grate Briaton r safe wif him(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:22,
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Is that due to him being a regular McDonalds customer?Or was it Burger King, I can't remember?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:33,
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christnot content with ruining everyone else's threads with your shitness, now you're starting your own pathetic threads?
if you ever said anything interesting, i'd choke to death. as it is, i expect to live to be 100.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:02,
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now you're gonna make him cream his pants thinking he has incited an argumentyawn yawn yawn. with the occasional genuine flash of spite, like he showed with AA.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:13,
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No, you make him cream his pants by constantly trying to appear cleverby saying nasty things about him on the internet. You're actually worse than him, at least he came out with that brilliant comment about the dinosaur with flid arms.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:15, Reply)
but younever say nasty things to people on the internet, al. never ever ever.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:17,
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No, I say lots of nasty things to people, but I base my comments on actual character flaws that I know they haveYou just keep saying the same thing over and over and it's complete fiction so it has no affect on Quentin, other than to let him know that he's got the measure of you.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:21, Reply)
"but I base my comments on actual character flaws that I know they have""that i choose to interpret from my reading of what they post on here" i think would be more accurate. you certainly don't restrict it to people that you actually "know". also, people's families/deceased relatives/relationships/financials/jobs etc - those are not "character flaws". they are actions and events.
now you do what you like, i'm not having a go at you - but be accurate about it!
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:26,
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I think you'll find I'm pretty much spot on the money with every flaw I take the piss out of.The fact that you don't like me pointing out what a selfish ignorant person you are doesn't mean I'm wrong.
And I'm pretty sure your mum would still be around if you weren't such an awful human being.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:31, Reply)
Yeah, you shouldn't mention itshe gets quite upset, which is understandable.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:35, Reply)
what kind of a peron pushes their own mother and their best friend to kill themselves? she must be fucken awful(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:37, Reply)
Well you can't react the same way to everything he does.This post got everyone nattering, and was a fair enough topic. It's the fact that you wouldn't have reacted this way if anyone else had posted the same thing. Chill out and stop the Quentin obsession.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:18,
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he posts far far too muchwhen he trims it down and actually says something interesting, he will stop ruining this place.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:21,
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Ruining this place?Jesus girl! You're getting the internets wrong. Deep breaths. I think all the emoing and treating the place like a support group and creepy pandering is far worse, but my opinion doesn't matter and neither does yours.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:23,
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excuse meit's ALL about MY opinion. that's why rob created the website.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:26,
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So are you _sure_ I can't get a pare of your unwashed socks? I got a dead dad, surely that can score me a pear of your used socks? I don't even care if it's got holes in it.?In fact, if had a hole in it, it would save me a job.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:37,
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A big fat lol in the face.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:46,
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Totally worth it, I wonder what I can score when Ma' goes too, I'd be an orphine then. Never had grandparents eaither, maybe I can work my way up the grieth ladder to having a snog at the back pub.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:42,
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yeah but it will be hilarious when they all start blaming Quentin for her death(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:29,
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i ent even spoke to the girl!it was rachelswipe, i'm gonna kill myself too jsut to show her
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:31, Reply)
"you are boring and I wish you would die [insert amusing and violent demise] as you are stopping this 'place' from being as I would like it"(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:26,
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Ooooo, I hope he eats lots of custard creams and then when he runs out of custard creamshe goes "Oh I wish I had more custard creams" and so he goes down the road to the corner shop and buys some more custard creams and he also sees a new copy of "MOJO" magazine so he gets that too and has a chat to the newsagent and then walks back home eating his custard creams and isn't watching where he is going and a cat trips him up and he falls over and bangs his head and manages to get home but he had a concussion and he falls asleep and dies in his sleep.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:30, Reply)
I reckon if I cark it, people would make a gonzo icon, but I want a pug one.I just thought I'd put that out there, in case something bad happens to me.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:39,
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Good, that's settled.You can't cark it before me now 'cus I'm trusting you to get people to make that icon if I go. And I want the money donated to Wood Green Animal Shelter.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:45,
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Ok. Done.I want my icon to be a glass of wine
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:51,
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Gonz I was totally in Enfield about an hour ago, it's so nice, I think you'll reall ylike it therethere is an M&S and a market and a Maplin and a stall selling sweeties and another stall selling hog roast and there was a Jane Norman and a Burton and a River Island and a La Senza so you can go and look at the pictures of women.
(, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:41, Reply)
Oh man, I'm getting excited again.Yeah', and there is a HMV, Waitrose, Gamestation, Game and..ermm.. lots and lots more. Well excited by the market, I'll buy all my fruit'n'veg there. And nandos. And it's a short bus ride to the pictures/pc-world, so when the xbox 720 comes out next year I can queue up in LOADS of places to get it on the day it comes out and everyone will be jelly.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 18 Nov 2011, 11:44,
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