long thread means panto is now cast
so i'm all emo and teenage and miserable about the ex. what are your very best and most harshest tips for getting over it?

alt: we have a charity box at work for a homeless shelter. and someone has donated a half-used bottle of fairy liquid. what's the pikiest thing you've ever done or seen?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:35, 42 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Threadstomp someone. Always makes me feel better : )
I never get over it. Hence my constant whinging.
( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Remember he was both foreign and gay, grow a pair and move on.
Alt: two weeks ago I drank a bottle of corked wine, it was repulsive but I drank it anyway because I was skint and couldn't be arsed to go to the shop either.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:37, Reply)

funnily enough
both these have made me feel infinitesimally better
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)

*ENGAGE SANTATRON*
Stop fucking wallowing and move on. He was a cunt, full stop. You are an attractive lady, so get yourself back on the horse. It's fucking Christmas man! Christmas = boozing + parties.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)

*BE STILL SANTATRON*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)

this is exactly the kind of thing i need to read
instead of my brain going "but we get on sooooooooooooo brilliantly wah wah wah"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)

Your brain cannot be trusted.
Silence it with alcohol.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:45, Reply)

'He's like a girly best friend...'
WOOP! WOOP! WOOP!

THIS GAYLORD IS REVERSING.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:48, Reply)

... onto another dude's cock....

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:49, Reply)

No ta

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Not exactly pikey but I drank a very nice bottle of champagne Bartleby got me for my birthday just to get drunk and I had nothing else in the house.

( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)

That isn't pikey at all
Getting leathered on expensive booze is one of life's treats!

I caned half a bottle of sloe gin last night whilst wrapping presents. This cannot possibly end well
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)

Shag someone else asap.
"The best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else".

Alt: watched the Dale Farm eviction.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Man up or start cutting yourself.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Focus on all the shit things he did
then go out and get drunk with all your girly mates and don't cry in the toilets because you luuuuuuuuurve him and oh god I miss him and all that bollocks.
I lived with someone at uni who would eat dog food so he could spend his money on drugs. He is one of the reasons -largely THE reason - I have refused to houseshare since.
(berk, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Listen I've grown up a lot since then.
Strictly cat food now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:45, Reply)

*joke about pussy*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I came home one day to find his mother chucking an absolute fit in the street
she'd come up from London to tidy his room (this man was 26 or so, by the way) and found his stash, and she'd called the police, and when they cautioned him rather than arresting him she tried to have him sectioned. Then she dragged him off to rehab. Menkle.
(berk, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Have you mentioned him before?
This story sounds awfully familiar...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:54, Reply)

It was one of my best of on QOTW.

(berk, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Ahh, thought as much

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Sleep with someone else, always worked for me!
Alternatively, shut the fuck up, go out with your friends, and appreciate what you've got, you silly bitch.

Alt: I lived in Skem for 16 years, the number of times I saw scum smoking whilst holding their kids, smacking kids in public, etc etc is ridiculous.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I like it when toddlers in prams are clutching a greggs sausage roll, also when their bottle is full of bru.
A kid less than a year old with pierced ears, that's classy that is.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I did once see a woman get thrown out of the local piercing place because it was clear she was the one who wanted her kids ears piercing, not the kids themselves
That made me amused and also rather ashamed to even be near to this stupid bitch.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:44, Reply)

See I have a feeling most do it to their kids themsleves. Nice.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Absolute scum

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Shag someone younger and better looking.
Alt: ate a Gregg's pasty.I didn't eat it in the street though, I waited til I got back into work. I wasn't that pikey.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Food, booze, music, sex. Choose at least two of those and indulge massively.
Alt: I once lived near Kennington, S London. Walking to the tube one morning about 0815 I saw a young mum and dad in front of me walking with a kid in a pushchair. Aaah.

As I overtook them I noticed both parents had a fag on the go and a can of Tennent's Super. I looked at the kid and couldn't help but think 'unlucky, son'.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Next time, don't leave your son with people like that.
Bit of a tip, here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I wondered why it was a bit quiet the night before.
You've certainly certainly put my mind at rest on a point or two ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Spend ages remembering just how great he is and how he made you laugh and how you'll never find anyone like it again.
Eventually you'll be smacked in the face with the realisation of how pathetic you're being.

Then you're ready to move on.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:48, Reply)

1. find cock
2. sit on it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:48, Reply)

^ Swipey, I found you a cock.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:50, Reply)

*waits for quentin to make predictable comment about being crushed by an online chunker*
*realises is not quentin*

*spirits raise a tiny notch*
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)

"online chunker"
*chuckles*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Get over it, would be my main tip.
Shockingly, I've never been dumped, so I don't know what it feels like.
But, yeah, pull yourself the fuck together and move on.
That's my advice.
I'll slip you one once you're not a mess anymore, if that helps.
Also, I am not an actual horse; my penis is tiny.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Start off small again with a training cock

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Here he goes again with that old classic 'horse talk'
'Ooh I'm not a horse'.

Yeah right. Your name even says horse in it ffs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:58, Reply)

You should post a topless picture of yourself on here.
Suppress any emotions with alcohol.

Stop moaning, we're FUCKING BRITISH!

P.S. He was a bit of a wanker and you are infinitely better (in all ways) without the aggravation.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:57, Reply)

This, the last bit anyway
he's a bellend and we all keep telling you...
(berk, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 10:59, Reply)

i feel better when i hear it
as otherwise my brain chooses to ignore the shit stuff!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Soon the rose tinted glasses will slip away and you'll kick yourself for ever thinking he was all that.
Gosh will you feel foolish.
( girlinthehole, Wed 7 Dec 2011, 11:01, Reply)