pearoast but my friend was on "wackaday" once
timmy mallett bollocked her in the break for getting everything right and hissed that she had to give the other children a chance.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:48, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Euphemism of the year:
'bollocked her in the break'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Pfft.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:49, Reply)

i wish this hadn't made me smile
i feel childish AND dirty now.

and not in a good way.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I have always wondered what proportion of lolwaki TV presenters were irritable bastards off-camera
Mallett has long been a prime suspect in this respect.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:54, Reply)

i used to hate hate hate that sort of shit
the only thing i liked was hartbeat. and that purely because of morph.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:55, Reply)

Oh, now Tony Hart always seemed like such a nice feller.
I just once made the mistake of speculating on what he actually thought of kids' paintings off-camera. Now my imagination sees him backstage, talking in his gentle, mannered tones to the producers,
"Just look at this shit. It's not even fit to decorate a concentration camp. I'm definitely wiping my arse on...this one, this one...and that one, once we're done filming."

(Well, they did always say they couldn't return submissions - ever wonder what happened to them?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:58, Reply)

He was a massive nonce.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:03, Reply)

I have zero anecdotes or evidence of this.
I just 'reckon'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:04, Reply)

he did potato prints of my willy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:07, Reply)

If anyone was a nonce it was that creepy 'Mr Bennett' bloke.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:08, Reply)

They were in cahoots.
That's my theory.

Bennett drive the van, Hart lured 'em in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:11, Reply)

have you ever seen that email that did the rounds a few years ago
with comments on kindergarten drawings? hilarious. i just remember the fire engine one, and the writer had put:

if it's a fire engine, why is it HAIRY? fuck off, i'd rather burn to death than be saved by that hairy piece of shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:08, Reply)

Yes, wasn't it called "I am better than your kids" or something?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:20, Reply)

It's in book form now too...
The original post:
www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule

I used to love that site when I was an angry young nerd; back when Maddox updated more than once or twice a month. Now B3ta fills that void in my life.
(The Bloody Awful Warsaw Concerto, Tue 13 Dec 2011, 5:30, Reply)

My ex-housemate Scott's dad was a cameraman in the 80s.
According to him John Craven absolutely hates kids.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:58, Reply)

Timmy Mallett is an annoying cunt
and still dresses like a day tripper on the Sunshine Bus. He was on some programme a few months ago still sporting the 'wacky' glasses and the colourful, childish clothes. For fuck's sake man, get a bloody grip, it's not 1987 anymore.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 16:58, Reply)

somewhere in the world, its always 1987

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Yeah, Glasgow.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:00, Reply)

LOOOOOOOOL

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:01, Reply)

A mate of mine
told a story of one of his friends trying to find a brand of carpet cleaner called LOOL and failing in every shop he went into.

Turns out he was looking for 1001 and had read the label upside down.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:05, Reply)

all your friends are retards?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:06, Reply)

They are Northerns

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:06, Reply)

that explains it then, we're far more civilised down southa nd at least we can read

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:08, Reply)

Say the prince and king of comedy spelling...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:09, Reply)

+s

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

No, I believe I was right first time
as I was referring to both you and Nakers. They say; he says. See?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:13, Reply)

+m

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Pay attention.
It wasn't my friend, it was a friend of a friend. You window licking monger.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:07, Reply)

your friend is a mong for having a mong friend, which it turn makes you a mong by proxy
unemployed mongo
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:08, Reply)

he's just jealous that you HAVE friends, darling

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:09, Reply)

I wish i had a rel friend, malcolm is nice to me all the time, but i think we're just martes

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:09, Reply)

And that place is Dortmund.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:03, Reply)

i've been there, its nice

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Are Personality Horse playing there?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Their tour takes in most mid-sized German industrial towns.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:21, Reply)

An Electro head funk gig

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:05, Reply)

Shit - isn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:03, Reply)

*looks down at Sisters of Mercy t-shirt*
Erm...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:06, Reply)

It's news to me too, old boy.
I genuinely regard everything after about 1995 as 'new'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:09, Reply)

I hear you still refer to it as just 'York'.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

that would make sense if there weren't two of them

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:10, Reply)

If it was simple enough for you to understand, I think I'm OK.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:11, Reply)

but there are two of them and thats why ones called New
York was still always york all along, you can't have York and york, its york and new york

just like Orleans
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:12, Reply)

are you a catholic?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:09, Reply)

No, but my ex wife was.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:13, Reply)

was she a nun?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Always good for shame filled sex.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:15, Reply)

That sounds like a signature in the making.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Thanks.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 12 Dec 2011, 17:24, Reply)