where the fuck is my new fancy iphone 4s please? courier swears blind it was delivered.
i like the big chill, it's got proper adult things like real toilets and showers, and really good food stalls. but don't buy the magic brownies. unless you want to sleep through everything for the next 12 hours.

also the iphone thing? it's urgent because somehow the mute button has stopped working on the old one. and i'm not sure my office wants to know every time i get a text. is there a way to fix it, short of turning it off, which is simply not an option??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:47, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

How about you immerse it in water?

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)

that's your solution to everything

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I think mine is "hit it with a shoe till it works"
Works for wine bottles and women.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)

and bikes?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Yep!
And children. I've got new pieces for my bike :P
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

you say this like it's a Good Thing
it's not
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)

marry me and i will solve all fo your problems

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)

you might want to lose the holiday weight before the big day tho, i don't want you spilling out of the wedding dress like a tube of toothpaste

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)

She'll be like one of those gypsy wedding dresses
only it won't be dress, it'll be rolls of lard.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

i dun a sick in my mouth

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)

like your wife's shoulders and arms on your wedding day, you mean?
yeah, that IS a look to avoid.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)

You're a horrible person Swipe
Why would you attack someone you've never even communicated with in any way shape or form, just because you think it will get a rise out of me?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Erm...
surely you could ask the same question of yourself whenever you've taken a pop at Swipe for her lovelife?
(berk, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)

yeah but she dates gays, berk
the GAYS
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)

Yeah, and this.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

leave them alone you fucken HOMOPHOBE

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)

No, I'm a homophone, I just sound like a homophobe.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

i thought the iphone 4s was a homo-phone

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Not really berk, you see I have been in fairly regular communication with Swipe for a number of years now.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Yeah, but you've never met any of her boyfriends
so why attack them when you've never communicated with them in any shape or form, just because you think it'll get a rise out of Swipe?
(berk, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

haha
(real laughter, not an overly loud fake nervous boom)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)

dood you were totally pwnd by rachelswipe, i'd pack my things and go home if i were you
don't bother coming into work tomorrow
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)

so are you saying
that you have never commented negatively about anyone that you have never communicated with - no politicians, no celebs, nobody's fb friends, nobody on here that you don't liaise with directly... gimme an "H", gimme a "Y", gimme a "P"...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

i'll give you a P

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)

since you keep taking it anyway

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Get a better phone?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

i have
the courier has clearly stolen it :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Turn it down?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Can't you just turn the volume all the way down? Does that not have the same effect?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)

Wait, no it doesn't, there's still one bar left if you try to turn it down.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)

i tried turning it down once
and it damn near bit my cock off
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I dunno what putting it on airline mode does, that might work.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I think that just turns off the phone signal

(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Moving the phone even slightly seems to turn off the fucking signal.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

What I'm trying to say here is that I already have a 4s so fuck your problems.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

thieving fucker
gimme my 4s
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

it has helped a lot though
more of this kind of thing. practical, sensible, not fucking-your-sister-related solutions.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Turning the volume down in settings does the same thing, but will play your ringtone even if you have it on silent. Which is fun when you're at work and shouldn't be pissing around with your phone.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)

holding down the hash key usually activates silent mode

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)

*Holds down Quentin's hash key*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

I hereby award my first click of 2012 to DG

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

i'm not a mobile phone
silly DG been so unemployed long he forgot people not electric
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)

That's a question Gary Numan has been asking since 1979.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)

thats not a question either
serious, press stop on the bond DVDs and go out for a stroll, you might enjoy it
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)

I'll be going for a walk later, to scrounge your not so hard earned taxes.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)

GLADE PLUG IN, SEXUALLY ACTIVE FRESH

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Stop opressing her with your logic and sensible answers.
Quick, pander to her about her breasts or she'll get upset.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)

I see your bile duct is working fine today Al

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)

his new years resolution is probably to impregnate the missus
shudder
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)

No, my new years resolution is to be nicer to people on the internet.
May I say that you're looking rather tidy today Sportscow.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)

haha!
Now I KNOW you are lying!

I have had a successful Christmas in that I have managed to put on over a stone
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)

I can help
Go to settings, sounds, text tone and set to none.
( M o D, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)

this is even better
i bet you don't even own a sister
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)

I do, she is currently residing in Brighton

( M o D, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:07, Reply)

seriously, hash key, hold it down and it'll activate silent mode
i'm being helpful
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)

See now, I was going to test that out but I didn't want my fat thumbs to slip up and blast out Arrested Development soundclips to the rest of the shop.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Mr Wendel lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:43, Reply)

My 4s will be arriving today :p

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)