Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Evening, oafs!It seems that the Winehouse woman might not be dead after all, as the pathologist that did the post-mortem wasn't qualified to be a pathologist.
Makes you wonder, eh? Who else might not be dead as a result of unqualified speculation? Who certified Pol Pot dead? Hitler? Genghis Khan? This is getting scary.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 18:50,
174 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
Beadle was one of the founders of CAMRA - FACT!(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 18:54,
Reply)
He also had a small cockBut on the other hand....
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:20,
Reply)
I never had time to enquire today.Work has gone double mental and I'm trying to look for a new contract based on a number of key team members resigning today.
So I need to start looking for some work before I cock about playing games (although saying that, if I don't get a new contract, playing games might be just the thing to do!)
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:32,
Reply)
You don't want to be doing those games JeffJust pop down the arcade and have a go on pac-man. It's just the same.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:44,
Reply)
In that case, as your attorney, I advise you to get a 360.I presume you have an HD telly?
(, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:46, Reply)
I've got a 14" crt portable.Maybe a new telly might be a better idea.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:46,
Reply)
Although a job change is probably more pressing.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:47,
Reply)
You're channelling Hunter S Thompson again....(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:51,
Reply)
Me a badbwoy an me come mek ya bleed Jeff, who seh jah no dred, aight?(, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:00, Reply)
The film didn't come close to the book though.You'll have read "The Rum Diaries" I'm sure.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:02,
Reply)
I thought the Fear and Loathing film was quite accurate actually.And I haven't read Bum Diaries, sorry dudezilla.
I am currently reading Paul Auster.
(, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:07, Reply)
What Auster?I love some Auster, I hate some others.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:09,
Reply)
That's OK but Auster gets all a bit samey Try Mr Vertigo next - that's him breaking out of New York paranoia and going into another dimension. Splendid.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:24,
Reply)
And don't you be kicking the bandit or you'll be outIt's a poor show when even Cavy and B3th aren't around in the evening.
No offence, ladies, but you're a constant in our lives.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:48,
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And I'm gonna go to the gym in a bit.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 19:50,
Reply)
it's OK - I'M HERE!well for a bit before I paint more
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:02,
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I am the painterwhat the hell euphemism is that?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:03,
Reply)
Oh my god I must be like Candyman or something.I'm here now too!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:06,
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Hey! Me too!Found another one in tonight's paper.
so, are looking for a job or a new contract?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:08,
Reply)
Contract. Far more lucrative and it suits me at the moment.I've found a job in The City that is pretty much exactly what I'm doing at the moment. So I'll speak to the agency tomorrow. The rate is a lot higher than I'm getting at the moment as well (well, the 'advertised' rate is, how much of that is to just get details from people remains to be seen).
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:10,
Reply)
Well, if you do contracts you're still your own bossand as long as you hit the deliverables, you've pretty much got autonomy over the project.
You could always go in asking for the advertised rate and agree to come down a bit so you look accommodating.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:12,
Reply)
I tend to no get bogged down with the financials until I've got an offer.Unless I need to pitch for the work on the basis of price. It's normally more lucrative to wait until they've said 'no' to the other candidates before arguing over money!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:15,
Reply)
Sounds fair enough.You know your own market.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:17,
Reply)
Not really.Tell me about the one you're going to apply for.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:19,
Reply)
It's part of the fundraising team for a local hospice charity.A little bit of all the things I like, and it's only twenty something hours a week.
I'm a bit maudlin tonight, so I'll leave it till tomorrow to do the application.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:31,
Reply)
I'm pretty sure she was certified dead by a doctor on arrival at hospital, so yeah she's deffo dead(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:13,
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Alright dozer, how goes the new job?(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:26,
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Heston just recomended mixing chocolate and cheese up, which is something I've been saying for years.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:25,
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Isn't that how they make chocolate cheesecake? Mixing chocolate with cream cheese?
In other news, I've just totally signed up to tumblr so I can follow your new blog.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:33,
Reply)
You can't be mixing chocolate and cheeseWrong. On all levels.
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The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:39,
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Yeah', but I'm meaning cheesy cheese rather than creamy cheese, something like a stilton or ripe brie.Oh wow, I'm quite honoured, so pleased you like it. Would you like to suggest tomorrow's word that you like that I've done? Gaz me if you do =)
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:46,
Reply)
Those kind of cheeses are just wrong to start with.I'd recommend your spelling of Heston Blumenthal for your next post.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:51,
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=D Will do, Bloomingtile.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:07,
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Hey, did you see my question earlier about your haunted cooker?Is it behaving itself again now?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:13,
Reply)
I'm multi taskingI'm watching Master Chef on an exercise bike!!!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:03,
Reply)
That's cool.We appear to be watching a programme about the Crusades, because - and I quote - "You like learning about the Crusades".
This is despite the fact that I wanted to watch Masterchef.
Just to clarify, I *do* love learning about the Templars, which is not synonymous with teh Crusades, and I already know almost everything they cover in TV documentaries anyway.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:06,
Reply)
ooohI'm all domesticated, I painted some more then managed to relight the pilot light on the gas without blowing the place up - an improvement on the oven thing yesterday
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:09,
Reply)
If it keeps going out, try bending it in a little closer to the gas tap.Sometimes helps.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:14,
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Jam and cheese is ace (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:11,
Reply)
Neither of those things are ace.Evening Bobs. How's you?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:14,
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Alright ta. Watching the footie. How bis?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:16,
Reply)
feeling sorry for myself.I'll be better tomorrow.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:19,
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it was a shit job and you would have hatedit as they are clearly cunts
bad luck
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:24,
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Sorry love, bunch of pricks, what did they say?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:26,
Reply)
They said 'fuck off, you're too old and you smell, and we would never hire anyone who lives in Weston'(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:29,
Reply)
Well it was always on the cards(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:29,
Reply)
I was out of work for five months before I got my last, terrible job. It then took me about 18 months to land my current, way better job.hang in there bbz.
(, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:48, Reply)
You could phone the pier and offer to run a duster over it.Even if they were only offering minimum wage you'd be able to earn millions it's THAT DUSTY!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:05,
Reply)
Blue cheese, like Shropshire blue for instance, with honey.On toast.
Result.
Developed that from the blue vinny and comb-honey on oatcakes we had that time...not you and me but them.
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blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:26,
Reply)
Either variant is beyond comprehension, to be honest.Even for me and I've eaten it dozens and dozens of times.
Truly astonishing.
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blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:51,
Reply)
Oaf, you say?Got fucking wireless sorted out after over two months man!
I'm now de-limited ;)
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blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:19,
Reply)
Fuck off Fulham. Fuck off everything. Most miserable day in bare time, that is all. Fuck. Off.
(, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 21:50, Reply)
So do you have the body of a chiselled Adonis yet?(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:08,
Reply)
Yeah it cost him 199.99 from Ann summers(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:09,
Reply)
hahahaHow is life at Crinkly Bottom?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:11,
Reply)
Chilled mon. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:14,
Reply)
Not now Im I'm Wales but go back when home. I(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:17,
Reply)
Sorry, I said 'boxing' I meant 'eating'.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:17,
Reply)
Adds jeff to the list(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:18,
Reply)
Evenin'Latest at 7pm from the HH on behalf of them; "please give Battered our apologies that we haven't come back with a formal offer. We are 99% there, but we need to go back to one more person to confirm the day rate".
So sounding positive, but I am not getting my hopes up - things can still fuck up.
In the meantime I have been fitting a new bathroom suite for a friend.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:32,
Reply)
Sounds like a done deal mate.If they have a budget for the role, then it sounds very much like they just need to work out what that is.
Are you hoping to go in as a Ltd, or through an umbrella?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:33,
Reply)
Umbrella this time I think. We're within 5% on the day rate and I am not pushing it for the initial six months.
Not used an umbrella before. Any company you'd recommend?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:37,
Reply)
Depends how long you think you'll be there.The charges can vary. It would be worth asking the HH who they'd recommend, as they'll have people they've got a good relationship with.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:39,
Reply)
It's for 6 months on paper, however the HH has placed 6 other people there (in other functions) over the last year and apparently each contract has been extended.Really nice people too.
EDIT: Seems from what I have research online that the costs vary massively. Given the DR (which I'll gaz rather than mention) I could get stung if not careful.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:41,
Reply)
More money to be made if you go in as a Ltd.You can pay yourself £620 a month and take a quarterly dividend. Umbrella wise, do some research, as depending on how you are able to rape the expenses, you can save a lot of tax.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:42,
Reply)
Done Ltd before. A lot of hassle re IR35. A lot of the umbrellas seem to claim they can help get around this.Need to see a formal offer first!
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:45,
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Surely IR35 only counts if you're a sole trader?If you make yourself an employee, it doesn't touch you.
I remember mr b3th being worried when it came in, but he's never been affected by it.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:47,
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Apparently not. HMRC are having a big crackdown, particularly on sole director Ltd's turning over less than X with no employees and no more than single revenue source.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:49,
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You'll have to employ battered jr as a consultant.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:50,
Reply)
For teething and gurgling services to the business.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:53,
Reply)
Customer relationsI mean, who could ever shout at her cute little dribbly face?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:55,
Reply)
An excellent point* Google's employment tax benefits for consultants under 6 months old *
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:59,
Reply)
Yes?what about Google's employment tax benefits for consultants under 6 months old?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:01,
Reply)
I would love to work for Google. I worked for Amazon a long time ago and several of my former colleagues have gone to Google and really enjoy working for them.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:03,
Reply)
Sadly not b3th.I beginning to think that when I go to the gym, I ought to use the equipment, rather than standing by the water cooler trying to chat up fit birds.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:13,
Reply)
Depends whether you have more luck with the fit birds(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:13,
Reply)
No, seemingly they all want a chiselled Adonis.....Yeah, confuses me too.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:16,
Reply)
Innit blood.You gonna climb back on the horse tomorrow?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:26,
Reply)
Good stuff.Don't be too down hearted by the result today, when you consider that was your first interview in years, and that you've not applied for that many jobs, to get that far is quite an achievement. You should be well pleased with everything you achieved.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:31,
Reply)
Tru dat.I was happy with how it went, and it was good practice for the next one. Hopefully I'll get some feedback and I can work on anything they come up with.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:33,
Reply)
Don't be afraid to ask them for feedback.If you can get some constructive comments, such as, 'We were looking for more examples of 'x' or experience of 'y'' you can take that information with you when you get another similar job spec.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:35,
Reply)
Can I tell them'Jeff said you'd give me the job'?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:43,
Reply)
I feel bad for encouraging you to get your hopes up.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:51,
Reply)
Yeah, you should do.I'm obviously unemployable. Telling me anything different just amounts to cruelty.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:52,
Reply)
*Epic sadface* :-(Come on b3th, think about the EVEN MORE AWESOME job you'll be able to get now!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:53,
Reply)
I'm only teasing you, you massive bender.I'm fine.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:56,
Reply)
Good.If you find anything else you want to apply for and want to send me a link at any point, just to tailor your C.V for the application, lerrus know!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:58,
Reply)
@ B3th - what happened?Haven't got time to scroll through the last day's posts.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:33,
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Just got a no today.I've emailed them asking for feedback. Just wait and see what they come back with.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:40,
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s'alright.Experience, innit. I'll get back to it tomorrow.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:42,
Reply)
Let me know if there is anything I can do to assist.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:46,
Reply)
YES.Jeff Please give B3th a job.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:54,
Reply)
No.She won't travel to Bristol (plus I'm looking myself!)
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:56,
Reply)
Oh, right.It all comes out now, doesn't it?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:02,
Reply)
TBH, I have also mentioned to you in the past that you're cutting down your options by restricting yourselvef geographically. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:05,
Reply)
I don't mind travellingbut only if the job's worth it.
I mean, I'm not going to spend two hours a day commuting for a £14k admin job.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:09,
Reply)
Are you looking at travel as a cost, or as a unit of time?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:10,
Reply)
Mostly time.but for an epic amount of money I could be persuaded.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:12,
Reply)
I'm guessing most people leave for workAt about half seven in the morning, and look to get home between six and eight in the evening.
What 'away from home' hours would you be comfortable with?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:13,
Reply)
Assuming the average working day is eight hoursthen maybe nine or ten hours. Twelve just seems to a bit long for me. Considering I can barely function on less than ten hours sleep a night, that would only leave me two hours where I wasn't either working or asleep.
I dunno. Maybe I'm just unrealistic. Does everyone else spend twelve hours out of the house?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:18,
Reply)
Longer if I go to the pub!Thing is, you get used to working long hours.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:20,
Reply)
If i did that, I'd never see my husband.Some might argue that's a good thing.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:23,
Reply)
But with more cashYou could spend all weekend together playing crazy golf.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:25,
Reply)
Not least because you'd wind up spending most of your wages on travel costs.(
The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:15,
Reply)
Hitchhiking is always an option.Show a bit of leg...
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:19,
Reply)
This time of year thoughIt's a bit cold, so see if you can buy a prosthetic leg on e-bay.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:21,
Reply)
Gaz biggers, she's off on one at the momentShe's been turning up to work with tear marks drawn in biro on her face
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 22:58,
Reply)
It's got to the point where I wish I had my old phone from two years ago. I could throw it against the wall in anger (I did that a lot) and it wouldn't break, you can't do that with a poxy iPhone.
(, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:02, Reply)
You can.You just wouldn't be able to use it again.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:03,
Reply)
Not too bad thanks.Just looking at employment (as indeed everyone on here seems to be at the moment!)
Anything new in Amberl-world?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:23,
Reply)
Nothing at alljust finished watching The Hurt Locker.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:55,
Reply)
Nopegot a couple of rejection letters recently though. Bastards. Did I tell you that it turns out my brother's girlfriend is applying to the same internship after hearing about it from him?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 0:03,
Reply)
Did you also hear about it from your brotherOr did you discuss it with the family and she was told about it by your brother?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 0:04,
Reply)
An uncle let me know about itand I mentioned it casually to my brother.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 0:36,
Reply)
Alright b3thhow've you been?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:22,
Reply)
Could always be worseany luck with jobs?
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:56,
Reply)
No, I really ought to do that.I'll have a gander over the weekend and hook up with you then.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:22,
Reply)
Excellent. An opportunity to call you a cunt on another website. Good stuff. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:27,
Reply)
Quite.Although before you do that, it's worth remembering I've got 'contacts' in Edinburgh (work ones, rather than the under-world).
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:28,
Reply)
Ah. Of course. Mind you, always an opportunity to reach common ground with new people...
"So yep, we're all agreed about Jeff".
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:32,
Reply)
Curses.Foiled!
Do you think you'd enjoy working for a PLC more than your own company?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:34,
Reply)
As you know I've worked for large PLC's in the past. Pluses and minuses to both that and running your own gig.PLC = much more stability, less stress re cashflow and meeting payroll.
Own gig = more freedom and flexibility.
In the current economy and given my situation (young family etc) PLC suits me well for now.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:38,
Reply)
Quite right too.If I was in your position, I'd be contracting and looking for perm, rather than 'contracting and looking for a more lucrative contract regardless of the location' - which is what I'm doing now.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:40,
Reply)
On that note. I'm off to bed.Got to be back to East Dulwich early in the morning to plumb in a basin and bath.
Will text you if I get a final Y or N.
Laters (as the kids used to say).
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 23:43,
Reply)
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