you sound like paul rudd in "i love you man"
"slappin' da baaaaasss". not good.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8W3NERMKIBM

going oop north this weekend for MOAR bridesmaid dress shopping.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:00, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

I sound like fucking who in fucking what?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:01, Reply)

see above
i quite fancy paul rudd. but NOT when he says that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:02, Reply)

what on earth is a Paul Rudd?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:05, Reply)

a short but relatively hot actor
who would totally get it. the lucky bastard.

i think the link has killed monty.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:06, Reply)

I thought he was the drummer for AC/DC
but that is Phil Rudd. As you were.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:06, Reply)

slappppppin da baaaasss
fucking irritating. they should have cut that scene.

i would have dumped him for that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

they should have cut that film, the whole thing was shit
that himym bloke needs a fucken tellling
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Is he bollocks short.
Although you've given me my Rashida Jones fix for the day so thank you.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Granted, he's not 'Battered short' but short he is, nonetheless.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:08, Reply)

he is short
he is short in "clueless" and he is short in "romeo and juliet" and he is short in "friends" and he is short in "i love you man".

SHORT!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:09, Reply)

He is definitely average or I'm fucked.
Well I'm not cos I'm a great looking chap, but you know what I mean.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:10, Reply)

He's 5'9" apparently
sorry Baz, but that is short. It's not midget, but it's definitely short.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:12, Reply)

yeah, he's short
you can tell, because all the leading ladies are his height or taller when wearing heels.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:13, Reply)

5'9" is short enough
that some women will never go out with him.

Ergo, he's too short. See also "too ugly" and "too poor".
( Kroney, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:15, Reply)

bet he has a girlfriend tho eh?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:16, Reply)

aww, been married 11 years
if i had been recently dumped i would find this news of a man much shorter than me being in a successful relationship upsetting
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:17, Reply)

what a weird thing that would be to focus on
a normal non-minging man with a real neck would relish his new found freedom and would go out with his mates and getting hawt poontang.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

is kroney the one who was moaning about being dumped recently? i still don't know who everyone is :(

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

I was, but don't worry about me Quentin
I'm reasonably handsome. I might not be a Malc, but I'm decent enough that I don't struggle.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:25, Reply)

Malc is everything that Shania Twain was singing about

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:30, Reply)

I'm 5'10" so actually yeah fuck him the shortarse.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:14, Reply)

The avergae for a British male is 5'10"
therefore anything below this can be considered short
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:18, Reply)

Meh. Anything under 6' just isn't really trying.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:23, Reply)

shows a poverty stricken upbringing lacking in vital nutrients

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:25, Reply)

quite so.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:25, Reply)

ahh, right so.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:11, Reply)

Fudge packer.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:06, Reply)

i wouldn't shout that around here
you might get more answers than you bargained for.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:10, Reply)

I was taking the register.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:12, Reply)

when i lived in a houseshare, i yelled "oi dicklick" up the stairs at my flatmate cath
and all 4 girls replied.

said a LOT about our household.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Ah, the North.
Smoggy air, angry men and slutty women.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:16, Reply)

yes
except that this was in hammersmith. and one girl was australian, so about as southern as it comes, apart from penguins. and the other 3 were all from kent/surrey/essex.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Oh, well I can't speak to the others
but Surrey women are all whores.
( Kroney, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:19, Reply)

one of my brother's female housemates at uni
was known as "shagger". Even in front of her mum. Top work.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:22, Reply)

my friend was known as "shredder"
because she once ripped a guy's boxers clean off.

her wedding speech will be FUN.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:26, Reply)

oh man remamber when paul rudd married phoebe and they had baby rats in their cupboard
and one of the babie rats was trained in martial arts and got mutated by some chemicals and then fought a shredder with some turtles?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:13, Reply)

this did you no favours yesterday
and it will do you no favours today. poor stoopy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:17, Reply)

it was soooo cool when monica did that favour for phoebe and chandler found her messy cupboard and they raised their eyeborws and all the tops fell off

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

hahaha, what?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:20, Reply)

www.imdb.com/title/tt0084945/
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:22, Reply)

"messy cupboard" has got to be the best new euphamism for an unkempt vagina.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:22, Reply)

A mate of mine was explaining to me about a girl he had recently been with being very hairy downstairs.
He said it was like a black lab had crawled onto her lap and died. He then referred to her as "dead dog" for the rest of the convo.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:26, Reply)

Haha you know all the classiest people.

( Kroney, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

oh yeah
and i'm sure your mate just looooooves to spend £60 a month having some stranger glooping red hot wax all over his most delicate bits and then ripping it off. and then massaging oil in. and NOT in a good way. i'm sure his "area" is beautifully kempt with not a hair in sight.

fucking men. they should be grateful for what they are given.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:27, Reply)

Any bloke who doesn't keep his downstairs in check is fucking disgusting.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Do you veet your balls?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:31, Reply)

oh dear will you not suck me off if I don't trim Barry?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:31, Reply)

and hairy arses
it's just not a good look, to have a thick black bristly doormat down there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:32, Reply)

What can you do about a hairy arse?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:33, Reply)

It's called back, sack and crack for a reason, Apers.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:39, Reply)

They're bloody painful

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:41, Reply)

I'm nowhere near bent enough to try.
And I am, as rswipe regularly identifies, pretty bent.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:41, Reply)

i only say that cos you won't sleep with me
wedding ring my (non-hairy) arse.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:43, Reply)

yeah?
well, however sensitive your back is, i can assure you that a foof is 100 times more sensitive.

so next time you whinge about a hairy mary.........
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:42, Reply)

I'm not going to go into the biology
but unless you've got stupendously saggy curtains, waxing balls is going to hurt a metric fuckton more than waxing mimsy.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:44, Reply)

i was talking about arses
shaved balls give me the creeps! if i want to play snooker, i'll go down the pub.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:54, Reply)

being a girl, i don't know
but there must be something.

really, it can be dreadfully offputting. like a big black tiger stripe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:41, Reply)

(leaves quietly)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:33, Reply)

depends what you mean.
Trim - maybe. If you're shaving or waxing you're just compensating for a small cock.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:39, Reply)

ah, the "optical inch"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:41, Reply)

After all, he's there to eat, not floss

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 10:34, Reply)