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Have you ever had a fight? Ever nutted a MP? Why not?

Alt: What would you do if you were banned from pubs for three months.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:00, 77 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt: Drink at home of course.
Luckily I haven't and I'm off to the pub now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

Fighting is beyond stupid.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:01, Reply)

You're an enigma bazza

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:02, Reply)

The 'enigma bazza' sounds like some kind of eco-friendly electric car.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:15, Reply)

I'm a lover, not a fighter.
/ac
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:02, Reply)

Haven't fought in years
Then again, I do enjoy going in mosh pits, which some would argue is the same. (it isn't)

Alt: Re-evaluate why I was enough of a prick to be banned for that long.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:04, Reply)

No. I've been assaulted once or twice and fought back, but I don't think that counts.
Alt: I am banned from pubs for economic reasons.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Wish lusty a happy birthday from me.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:10, Reply)

Will do. Tonight should be a good one.
I am in the mood for a cane-up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:15, Reply)

I think everyone's had at least one scrap?
Alt: carry on ad normal, I don't really drink that much.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)

can we have a good thread please?
ok thx (jk)

i had some scuffles with mates years ago, never nutted an MP, never even met one i think

alt it wouldn't bother me in the slightest, i'm a responsible adult, you see
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:18, Reply)

Rent boys are not your mates.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

All his 'mates' are figments of his imagination, Bob.
They can be whatever he wants them to be.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

that sounds correct, but i pay for the full boyfriend experience

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)

What, soldier costume, the works?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:26, Reply)

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:31, Reply)

Hahahahahahahahha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:35, Reply)

I am really very proud of this.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:39, Reply)

You should be, it's excellent, in a low tech way.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:41, Reply)

Always low tech. How's the job hunting going?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Spotted an ideal opportunity yesterday so will work on an application over the weekend.
Got loads of applications in at the moment, but in anticipation of nothing happening (and the fact that my money will shortly run out) I have an appointment at the business start up centre later in the month.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:56, Reply)

Let me know if you'd like any help with writing a business plan.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:58, Reply)

Cheers, I may just do that.
I've worked with business plans for the last few years (project based grant funding) so I kind of know the format, but when it comes to writing one some additional advice would be most welcome.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:00, Reply)

I've gazzed you my email address.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:03, Reply)

email address cock
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:05, Reply)

The spirit of Edmund lives on...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:08, Reply)

Rightly so.
Quentin's really quite the looker, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:46, Reply)

looker spacker
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:47, Reply)

responsible adult tedious Walter Mitty fantasist
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

Interesting, you only posted in the previous thread twice, and it was excellent.
It seems there's a link between shit threads, and you. Who'd have thought it?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:22, Reply)

Heh heh

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:24, Reply)

He couldn't post in that thread because it was mine and he's got me on ignore.
Unless that was just some kind of lie. That seems unlikely though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Alt: I;d like to say drink at home with friends however drinking in the park on a bench on my own shouting at randoms is more likely

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:23, Reply)

+ on the Kilburn High Road
Home of the shouty vagrant.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:25, Reply)

When are you coming up to Kilburn to go drinking?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:26, Reply)

Once the weather's improved and there's plenty of traffic to yell at

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:29, Reply)

I'm posting from the bench now.

Sent from my iPhone.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:29, Reply)

*punches screen repeatedly*

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:30, Reply)

I really, really hate that shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Hello human plankton
I fight like a girl but yes I have fought.

Alt: Moot. I haven't seen the inside of a pub for over three months because I'm a great big walking vagina smooshed beneath my wife's gigantic thumb.

Monty, what a very special coincidence! My birthday falls this fine weekend too.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Afternoon, oh musky one.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:39, Reply)

Hi AA
The musk has been all too alluring and the sex-tips of fellow B3tans terrifyingly efficacious. My bride is now three months pregnant - a great, bloated, vomiting, chocolate-guzzling manatee. Thanks B3ta.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:46, Reply)

Ahh, congratulations!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:47, Reply)

Hurrah!
Thank God you're here, Barrington.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:45, Reply)

Tears up.
I ...never really left. What's been keeping you swine from hurling yourselves into the abyss or retreating beneath your duvets with Smirnoff Jeraboams?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:48, Reply)

Bullying and mocking, old chap. The usual.
My heartiest congratulations on your good news above. Best of luck.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:01, Reply)

Thanks Monty.
I've already got one and all available evidence suggests I'm not a very good father. I fear it's going to be tough.
Oh, how bitter sweet it was too see Limahl's NES referenced in the previous thread. I love 80's music but listening to it just reminds me of what a terrible hash I've made of the intervening years.
Still, enough self-pity. It is Friday afternoon after all.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Plankton are a fundermental part of life on earth,
I take that as a compliment, I'm both top and bottom of the food chain.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:46, Reply)

You've always seemed like
more of a bottom to me...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)

oooooh rude!
don't plankton produce shitloads of oxygen so they're vital for life on earth? or is it that they produce 99% of the carbon dioxide?

something like that
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:52, Reply)

Lord Knows.
I believe they're just tiny, alcohol-free, sexually unattractive sea-insects and therefore of little interest to the denizens of B3ta.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:57, Reply)

i looked it up jsut now, they produce 50% of our oxygen and feed on cO2
plus he's the best thing about spongebob (maybe other than squidward)
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:59, Reply)

Squidward is way better.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:03, Reply)

Thats Phytoplankton
its a single cell plant... rather than an animal




cock it too slow.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:11, Reply)

Well, you should know Stewie. Being as you are king of the Diatoms.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:59, Reply)

that doesn't sound right at all, i mean if i were phytoplankton or algae then i wouldn't nbe able to type
we wouldn't be communicating right now, make sense man
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:00, Reply)

"then i wouldn't nbe able to type"
Proving his point here perfectly, spazmo.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:07, Reply)

Interesting - have googled Diatoms.
Whilst many of us, myself included, no doubt yearn for a simpler life, being 'unicellular' would seem to be pushing those limits.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:08, Reply)

aw man i came in without being logged on again
why are people still been mean about me?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:49, Reply)

Jealous of your exciting life.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:50, Reply)

that must be it, i'm a winner at the game of life and they all want to be me

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:52, Reply)

fe es
to be me me to delete my account(s) and kill myself
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:05, Reply)

are we still on ignore?
say happy birthday to L tonight, oh in fact i have her number, i'll text her!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:09, Reply)

x x x x

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Stop pulling yourself off at the library then, you filthy little beast.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:50, Reply)

I've never provoked a fight or nutted an MP.
I'd like to think that someday those things will happen at the same time.

Alt: Drink at home in all probability. Or put on a fake nose/moustache combo and drink in pubs anyway.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 15:51, Reply)

well i think your post is really nice amberl and it says alot about this forum that nobody has replied to it
have a nice weekend, i hope you have plans for social events etc
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:02, Reply)

Thanks Quinten
looks like a good weekend
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:12, Reply)

hello you
i've been trying to text you, but it won't go through. can you be tempted to come down soon for a fire&stone with lampito etc etc??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:05, Reply)

I'd love to. When were you thinking?
My phone is broken after I dropped it one too many times, and the contract is almost up anyway. How are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:11, Reply)

within the next month?
will send a group fb email, is easier!

can't complain so i won't, but will be all the better for seeing you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:13, Reply)

Lies
I remember you sorting out the bovver at Weston station after pier bash.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:09, Reply)

Have you stopped licking your windows long enough to confirm the dates mentioned in your text msg the other day?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:12, Reply)

I've been asked to
Work next week, they did offer to refund the cost of any travel I'd arranged, and they've said I can bill them for a day when I do get some time off. Which seems fair.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:19, Reply)

I didn't start it (but I finished it)
those louts are now polite, functioning members of society
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:12, Reply)

Right I'm off
See y'all
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 9 Mar 2012, 16:16, Reply)

I met a local MP today, interviewed him for a whole 2 hours.
Bloody nice chap, funny, enthusiastic about being a local representative, who owns a manufacturer, and is not a greasy pole climber or careerist.
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Fri 9 Mar 2012, 19:46, Reply)