Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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NEWSFLASHMY DOG BIT PERV BOSS
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Lisette von Falcon, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 21:33,
153 replies,
latest was 14 years ago)
FUCK YEAH!The girl I lost my virginity to is doing a sponsored parachute jump for charity.
I don't see that as being a good thing to do for charity, it isn't remotely difficult to do a parachute jump, in fact it's amazing fun, so why would I sponsor someone to do one "for charity".
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Bazongaloid, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 21:36,
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Did she take your virginity for charity?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 21:37,
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You are at a biggerRisk having a general.
But no one ever has a medically administered sleep for charity do they.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 21:40,
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When a dog bites a man, that is not news...Let us know if your boss retaliates in kind.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 21:47,
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sell this to the sun, they love this sort of thing.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 21:47,
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Needs some pencil sharpenings on a head for them to be really interested.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 21:55,
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that's a once in a lefetime story, we might as well shut down the internets.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 21:58,
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Best story I have read on here, really hope he posts more. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:05,
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I don't think he'll ever top thatGo out on a high, I say.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:11,
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Oh dearHe really should have deleted his account and killed himself after that post:
b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=91624
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:15,
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^ standard response from one of Bert's sockpuppets here ^(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:32,
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No no noI had to pass the intelligence test to join. I got both of the words right without them being read to me.
(, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:34, Reply)
some doucheif you are new you should realise that we almost always expect new people to be crappy sockpuppets. If you are new, just hang in there
if you are a crappy sockpuppet. Fuck off
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:38,
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He's a crappy NoobNot worth encouraging.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:47,
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Why not?If he is a noob, then they might be entertaining. We are too quick to chase people off here.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:49,
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exactlythis might be a great opportunity to make a new friend, or at least a new person to victimise and make jokes about all day
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:54,
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You think he might be single then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:56,
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it's always possibleand you've got to be on your guard
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:58,
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I'm going to hang in thereI've lost all illusions that I'll be accepted. My new goal now is to be recognised as a real person
(, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:49, Reply)
See my post above.Although I reserve the right to call you a massive bender and to tell you to fuck off at any moment.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:51,
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Fuck off you massive bender(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:52,
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How is being a fruity hippy treating you today?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:56,
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I can't complainHow is the remove-beer-gut-without-giving-up-beer mission going?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:01,
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Fuckin' spot on.I've lost weight, got a much flatter stomach and am feeling healthier.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:03,
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Good workThat deserves a drink.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:04,
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I have a can of booze open now.And I might have another cheeky one before bed.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:06,
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Ha ha ha. A good point to end the evening on. I would post more but instead will say to myself "just say no"(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:10,
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Shove a dead goat up your mum's rancid & prolapsed ringpiece. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:55,
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Bloody predictive text on these iPads is a pain, ain't it?I got the gist of it though
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:02,
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Dunno. Not got mine yet. Just drunk. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:08,
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They are a lot of effort on the old head-dobber(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:11,
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I will ask Quinten for advice, he's the master of the head dobber.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:12,
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He has Menace Coat to do his typing for him now(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:14,
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Coat = Clothing, meaning SOCKMeance = Star Wars = PHANTOM
It's a sock puppet.
Either that, or I've just won Dusty Bin.
*accidentally flicks the Vs at Tangled doing the Ted Rogers 3-2-1 hand thing*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:16,
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Haha I still can't do it, no matter how much I practise.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=GedJGLGxIXE&feature=youtube_gdata_player
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:20,
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There is a great example on Wiki of a 3-2-1 clue.You'd have no chance of getting it.
Even if some bloke from the Brian Rogers Connection dance trope gave you the clue.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:25,
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Do you get the impression the show was rigged?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:30,
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that's a pointI've not seen anyone ask you to leave the internet in a while
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:56,
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A 'leave the internet'When I was here for the day shift I'd get about half a dozen LTIs a day.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:02,
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You make fewer puns now :((
Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:03,
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I'm too busy these days AmberlI've a lack of pun time.
Saying that, OT is probably all the better for it.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:04,
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That's right rub the busyness in *kills self*I actually miss the puns a bit
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:06,
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You're on your own there.I got my fair share of genuine 'fuck off' messages for them!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:08,
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Not bad thanks.I take it there are no developments work wise for you at the moment?
I'm looking at various courses I fancy doing at the moment, but time and money don't seem to tie up very well.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:15,
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Sorry to hear that, hope something comes upNo developments, couple of letters back saying thanks but no thanks, and the internship never even bothered to respond the shower of bastards
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:42,
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We can invent some work experience for you.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:42,
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Haha looks like it might be needed*is thoroughly pissed off at the world.*
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:44,
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What are you going for at the moment?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:46,
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More accurately, what am I notI feel like I've trawled everything.
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Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:20,
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So still Bert, but a sockpuppet's sockpuppet.That must be a first, even among all these window lickers.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:54,
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Hmm, the spelling seems almost normal.I can't imagine he can turn on and then turn the massive spastic act off that quickly.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:54,
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One of the light switches in my hall switches off massive spasticnessThe other does the landing light.
Sometimes, this is reversed
(, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:01, Reply)
lolwaki i am such a krazi sunnamagunlook at me talkin bout dem light switches
lol
(, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:05, Reply)
It's quentin being a mega scrote (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:34,
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I made a similar call last night.But they've come back.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 22:35,
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Did you seeBarack Obama doing his English speech. Even Dave was cringing
(, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:12, Reply)
I'd rather see you delete your account and kill yourself. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:13,
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Would you?You are the sole reason I joned b3ta. I love your work x
(, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:20, Reply)
Did he suck his teeth and call Dave a bumberclart?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:14,
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Nope, I'm watching telly.How are you QC?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:48,
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My apologies, I meant that to CQBut indeed, how are you QO?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:50,
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Hey, Quents, what are you doing up so late?Life treating you well?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:50,
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Not bad.been knackered all day, so of course I'm wide awake now it's time for bed. How's life in Brizzle?
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:49,
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Not bad thanks.Think you'll be well enough to visit next month?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:50,
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Probably,not 100% sure I'll be free, but fingers crossed.Not too sure about this St. Georges lark though.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 14 Mar 2012, 23:54,
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Patriotism sets my teeth on edge.this combined with alkyhol might lead to an unfortunate scenario.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:00,
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Its wasn't that sort of night last time I went.It was very much, hog roast, apple bobbing, conkers and all english music - anything went from Vera Lynn to the Stones.
If it's shit, we'll move on.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:03,
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Might not be too bad then.Might still turn up in German army kit for a laugh though. Any how, still hoping to be there. Might ask for a recommendation for a cheap p;lace to stay.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:05,
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Just to point out.It isn't really fancy dress. I said that to confuse the easily led.
Give me a rough idea (by gaz if easier) as to your budget for digs, and I'll try and find something for you.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:08,
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Unfortunately we don't have any spare bed space over hereon account of having a house full of crap.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:10,
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I'm sure I can find CQ something reasonable.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:11,
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I bet there's a lot of places in Bristol that charge by the hour for beds...(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:13,
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I figured that.I do own a lot of German army surplus kit, sometimes it all synchronises by accident, last time was when I visited Bletchly Park, which felt a little inappropriate.
For budget I'd say cheap as, I'm happy to have a bed, but don't worry is nowt springs to mind, I can find a travel lodge or such.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:13,
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This is within walking distance of the cider boat!www.rocknbowlmotel.com/
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:15,
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Yeah, that'd workCheers Jeffers, ticks all boxes.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:17,
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Put it out on here tomorrow and you might find a room mate.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:17,
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Yeah, I might dowould be cool if enough people were interested to get one of the smaller dorms together. at those kind of prices, even if I don't makike it booking a bed would be no great loss.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:22,
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Not without you logging in b3th.NEVER!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:08,
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So why aren't you all tucked up in bed, young man?It's a school night and everything.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:14,
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I've had things to do, and then I like to relax for a hour or two.I've been looking at courses.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:15,
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No, professional ones.Although, thanks to my sister naming her eldest Ruby, I had a tenner each way on 'Rockin' Ruby' (or whatever it was called) at 11-1
Profit!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:18,
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My dad did that once.He needed a sixth horse for an accumulator, and there was one in that race called [b3th's family nickname] so he picked it. I was very popular when he won, but he never even bunged me so much as a fiver.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:21,
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Imagine how far a fiver would go on the pier.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:24,
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Yeah, or fix their 'electronic comments' system.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:27,
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The only reason that didn't work is because you wouldn't give them your email address(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:28,
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They'd only set fire to it.Have you put PierBASH II in the calendar yet?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:31,
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I shall go now, this very second, and LOOK.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:33,
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When is it going in b3th? WHEN!!!!!!!!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:34,
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As the art mistress said to the gardener...(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:35,
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Oww, go on.I need to start training.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:37,
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I just need to remember to bring up during the day when there's people hereBut I'm not in during the day so much any more, cos it's got 'fucking shit'
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:39,
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It's all gone really slowAnd nobody talks to me : (
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:42,
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I've been busy!I've always enquired as to the big news!
(Talking of which, have you seen anything interesting to forward your CV on to?)
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:43,
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Not this week.I need to chase up some agencies I sent my cv to last week.
It probably doesn't help that I don't have a specific job title in mind.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:46,
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Well, that was a wate of bandwidth.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:34,
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No, just two years. Might get six months with good behaviour.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:16,
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Not bad.Awake when I should be asleep and asleep when I should be awake, otherwise Life is quite good really, apart form the shoulder.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:20,
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Yep, for another 2 weeksOperation is saturday, another week and a half to recover from that and then back before they stop paying me.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:23,
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Not totally.In fact I was over there this evening. but I'v emissed 2 weekends when I would have had him to stay nbut have only ben able to visit him or have him visit me. Nott too bad, but a bit of a shame.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:30,
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I'm sure he understands.He seems like a nice, sensible type of child. Quite mature beyond his years.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:33,
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Very true, and he does.It's his birthday soon, not that he wants anything, mind.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:35,
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Well, now that you know you're still employed, you can treat him to something special.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:36,
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Yeah, I'm going to limp down to Toys R Us tomorrow and get him summat big and radio controlled.(
CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 15 Mar 2012, 0:39,
Reply)
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