Tell me when you were most embarrased IRL and you just wanted the ground to swallow you up
alt: new stuff or old stuff?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:18, 98 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alt: OLD STUFF
Old music, old clothes, old buildings, etc. OLD.

This reminds me, when I was with my daughter recently she referred to getting a hamburger from ‘Old MacDonald’s’ which I found to be charming.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:22, Reply)

Don't tell me you took your child to McDonalds for a treat.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)

Did I bollocks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)

I was just going to press the BAD PARENT alarm and alert Mumsnet

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Careful - taking your daughter to McDonalds will probably be considered by Quinten to be child abuse.
What with you being such a shit parent an' all.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1566213

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)

cheers man, i'm not gonna rise to it

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:32, Reply)

I did not agree to adhere to that request.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:34, Reply)

Old MacDonald kept dairy cows.
Idiot child.
( Kroney, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:24, Reply)

You *punch* are *punch* a *punch* STUPID CHIIILLLLLD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

I vommited in a girls school bag once
In my defence I was coming down with Salmonella poisioning.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:22, Reply)

new stuff will be old stuff one day :'(
except me, I'm timeless!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:23, Reply)

\o/

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:24, Reply)

o o o o o o o
and the crowd goes indifferent!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Not me, but I can probably speak for my long suffering wife and kids
My mum just got back from a holiday in Egypt and brought me back a fez. My kids were kept entertained for whole literal seconds with my Tommy Cooper impression, especially since we were out for a meal at the time. I think I passed the 'embarrassing dad' threshold a long time ago.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:24, Reply)

If indeed they are your children

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:25, Reply)

Noooo THEEYESTHEEYES
long suffering murdered
( Kroney, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

Afternoon Bill Clay ITIYRN

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Afternoon AA
How's the fantasy football going? I'm at around 17th at the moment in the b3ta league and have been top of the work league for about 90% of the season so far, so I'm trying not to do anything daft. I'm bound to win it this year as we decided to play 'just for fun' and they're talking of starting a weekly purse for it next year.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:32, Reply)

*checks*
119th
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:35, Reply)

+ out of 210
If indeed that makes it sound any better
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:55, Reply)

Hi 'Bill Clay'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:29, Reply)

Hi Monty/Possible Fake Monty

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:33, Reply)

Real Monty
But then I would say that, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:42, Reply)

One of you needs to grow an evil goatee or something

( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:51, Reply)

What do people think about this?
I think it's a good idea, that idiots will use as an excuse to moan
www.channel4.com/news/people-to-receive-personal-tax-statements
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:26, Reply)

I wonder how much it will cost
I do think it's an excellent idea and promotes governmnet culpability, however you're are right everyone will focu on the "welfare" cost and other less popular costs.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)

About 50% of the welfare budget goes on pensions.
We need another icy winter.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:31, Reply)

old bastards
this is why people should work lo0nger and stop fucking moaning about it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Good idea.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)

Were you here a couple of weeks ago when all /ot's high earners were on their soapboxes about how much they pay into the system?
I can only see this making rich people even more insufferable.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:40, Reply)

Nope, I was probably in South East Asia spending my money on a beach.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Those beaches cost a fucking bomb, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:44, Reply)

But you never go hungry...

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:45, Reply)

BECAUSE OF ALL
THE
SAND
WHICH
IS

THERE
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:45, Reply)

ahahahahahahahahahaha


ahaha

a
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:49, Reply)

And people say offtopic is shit now.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:52, Reply)

my taxpayers' hard-earned
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Shouldn't worry about it they were all lying
however I hate looking at the tax column on my pay slip
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:43, Reply)

Honestly, I promise I won't be.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:43, Reply)

How does having brass in your pocket make you 'insufferable'?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:45, Reply)

How much do you earn RL?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:46, Reply)

I NEVER DISCUSS SUCH THINGS IN PUBLIC OR OTHERWISE

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Very wise. It's a slippery slope from there on. Next you'd be posting your photo online and then going Wah to the mods when you realised your mistake.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:49, Reply)

I likes that guy who was gonna buy /talk
The ultimate move in impressing fat online chicks
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Thus proving my point,
telling people how much you earn is a bit like me telling everyone how massive my cock is*, crude.

*pretty massive
(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:50, Reply)

I've already managed to buy rob out, b3ta has a vast marketing potential of approximately -11p

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:53, Reply)

It shouldn't have to
But when you are showing off online...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:47, Reply)

Dunno, I'll put me hand up to being a prick, but not a boastful prick

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:49, Reply)

You are nothing if not magnanimous, Rorers
I wasn't referring to you though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:52, Reply)

because
it makes you sound like Chrissie Hynde
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:55, Reply)

I can't currently think of the most embarrassing thing
But, as she's not here anymore, it seems only fair to share Aber's tale of embarrassment - www.b3ta.com/questions/cringe/post314641

Alt: Old.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Alt: I'm quite anachronistic
I prefer vinyl to digital media. I drink loose tea rather than teabags. I'm usually at least ten years behind on most things.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:28, Reply)

I bet you still write cheques,
and send faxes.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Cheques are shit
People who try to pay me for stuff with cheques can fuck off as there is nowhere to pay them in these days.
I can send faxes from my pc though.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Banks?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Most of the local branches have closed down

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:46, Reply)

Nothing I'd want to share on here.
Alt: mostly old stuff.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:32, Reply)

I was very embarrassed
when I found a piece of sweetcorn in your dad's japs-eye. It smelled of your gran's shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:32, Reply)

perhaps he was trying to shove some sweetcorn up his cockend and his gran was trying to shit out cock.
see? there's always a logical explanation.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:35, Reply)

I should have thought of that.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)

Slightly embarrassing moment last night
After performing at Strictly UEA, the host asked how it felt to perform in front of the woman of my dreams - Ms Foxtrot being the head judge. I replied "Your Mum's here?"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Smooth, real smooth.
I assume you won.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:40, Reply)

I did not
We came joint third on points, got a 9 from the missus though so was well chuffed.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:44, Reply)

I thought you would have preferred her to give you 1?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:48, Reply)

His partner was Kroney, and he wanted a 2

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:53, Reply)

Endorsing this post.

( Kroney, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Oh dear.
Third, even after sleeping with the judge, not so good.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:51, Reply)

The other judges were
a) less than knowlegeable about Ballroom dancing

and

b) unwilling to copulate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:54, Reply)

And this right here is why grown up, civilized threads are not fun.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Indeed.
*Throws shit*
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)

FUCK OFF YOU BULLYING RACIST!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)

Go away hippy.
Or I'll .... do someting...
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:51, Reply)

Alt: Old stuff generally.
I like new things but they seem to break easier
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:41, Reply)

Like babies

(PsychoChomp, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:43, Reply)

There's one about me which I think is more embarrassing because I don't remember it.
I'd been living in my current house a couple of months, and one night there was 5 of us in the living room, 1 girl, 4 lads. As the night went on, we were getting drunker and drunker, until, for some reason, I stood up, walked round the back of the girls chair, whipped my knob out, and stuck it just to the side of her head. No idea why I did that, fortunately my housemate yelled at me immediately, so I tucked it away, and wandered off to bed.

However, for reasons I'm not sure of, I came back 30 seconds later, and did it again. However, this time there might be an explanation why I did it. According to the lad who shouted, this time I adopted the sort of stance you use when you're going to the toilet, whilst really pissed. It seems that I was seconds away from pissing over one of my new housemates, when again I was yelled at, at which point I put my knob away, and went to bed.

I avoided the girl in question for 2 weeks, and I'm still hideously embarrassed about that now.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:53, Reply)

When I was about 22 I was sharing a flat with two girls
They were both at Uni, and this given night one was back at her folks' down south and the other was on placement (nursing student) so I knew she wasn't coming back. I was idly watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer when I suddenly noticed that there was a Vampire version of the absurdly hot character Willow seducing the non-Vampire version of the absurdly hot character Willow.

My flatmates were out, and not coming back. And as far as I knew, no-one else had a key to the flat.

Any of you would have done the same - obviously I started cranking one out. And I suppose you all know how this ends.

That's right. I shat myself as I came.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:57, Reply)

...why?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 14:59, Reply)

Which part?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:03, Reply)

did you shit yourself?
assuming willow is the redheaded bint I see no issue over knocking one out over her.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:04, Reply)

Of course I didn't shit myself
It just struck me, in a moment of dubious judgement, as more amusing than the actual end to the story, which is that my neighbour walked in and I had to tuck away sharpish.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:05, Reply)

Never been caught wanking
Been caught 'mid act' with a girl, as it were. Don't know which would be worse...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:08, Reply)

Wanking is worse.
Unless the girl munts.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I think wanking is still worse.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:10, Reply)

What if the girl was workboresme?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:14, Reply)

Nolongernuts now

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:17, Reply)

is she actually hideously unattractive
or just weapons-grade mental?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:20, Reply)

No idea
Don't care. That level of mental unpleasantness makes her unattractive, even if she has norks like Right Said Fred sneaking into a boob tube convention
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:21, Reply)

The new picture of you on FB is magnificent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:23, Reply)

The one in the tails from last night?
I assume that this is advanced internet sarcasm
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:24, Reply)

Very much so.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:26, Reply)

You'll have to take my word for it that I look fooking magnificent in person

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)

It's more the pose that's amusing me.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:28, Reply)

been caught wanking
the less successful Janes Addiction etc...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:09, Reply)

I wouldn't put it past Perry Farrell to have a plethora of unused lyrics along those lines

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:14, Reply)

did you get your bf to shove it back up?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:16, Reply)

Don't be silly
Quality fertilizer, that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:25, Reply)