Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Bored of that thread now.So if you started a company what would you do, what would you call it, what's your 5 year plan.
Think of me as an Investment Angel, pitch me.
Alt: Safari parks as dates? Yes/No
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:52, 143 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
I wouldn't sit here all day talking shiteAlt: Are you dating a child?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:55,
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a friend is going to a safari park today on a datei thought it was weird
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:00, Reply)
Sounds a bit Alan Partridge/owl sanctuary(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:02,
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This is the best Valentines Day I've had in 8 years(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:03,
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Just had a better one(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:06,
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"Big Yellow Taxi there by Joni Mitchell, a song in which she complains that they 'paved paradise to put up a parking lot' - a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise. Something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song."
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:08, Reply)
What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:08,
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Massive copy and paste because I did a office lolAlan: Grrrhhhhh!!!!
Susan: Arrggghhhh!!!
Alan: No I'm a zombie, I'm dressed as a zombie, I'm Alan Partridge!
Michael: Well can you come out please, Mr Partridge, because guests are not allowed behind reception.
Alan: Alright, alright. Look its just a joke, okay? It's backfired.
Ben: Is that blood?
Alan: It's tomato ketchup.
Susan: Why have you got a shower curtain round your neck.
Alan: I'm a zombie, I don't know, it's supposed to be a flap of skin or something.
Susan: Did you pull that off one of the showers?
Alan: No, I checked all the rings to make sure I could reattach them after, nothing has been damaged!
Michael: Why've you got biscuits sellotaped to your face?
Alan: They're complimentary, it's supposed to be flaky skin. I'm a zombie.
Sophie: What's that between your legs?
Alan: It's a flex of a mini kettle, its supposed to be a tail.
Sophie: Zombies don't have tails.
Alan: Alright, it's inconsistent. Zombies by their very nature are inconsistent, they're a mishmash of different bits.
Ben: Nah, that's Frankenstein.
Alan: Right, you've made two glaring errors!
Ben: What's that on your fingers?
Alan: They're tungsten-tip screws for claws. Right, error one - actually they're quite good for making a point aren't they? - error one, Frankenstein is the name of the creator, not the monster. Right error two right, Frankenstein is a zombie. Okay, he's a type of zombie. It;s like people when they say Tannoy when they mean public address system. Tannoy is a brand name. Why're you all staring at me? I'm not have a go at anyone, I'm having a pop at the undead. I mean do you see any upset zombies around?
Sophie: Just the one.
Alan: This country!
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:11, Reply)
One of my friends got a bit too obsessed with Partridge a few years agoThis culminated in him attending a fancy dress party in Alan's zombie outfit.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:14,
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My housemates and I got so stoned watching AP DVD's that we passed out and the the DVD reverted to the menu screenwe subconciously listened to the black beauty theme tunes on repeat for around 3 hours, I couldn't get it out of my head for days
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:25,
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He was very witty and charming......and lived in a travel tavern...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:08,
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Do you like that?Should I move on to the other one?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:05,
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What do you think of the pedestrianisation of Norwich City Centre?(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:09, Reply)
We have a caller on the line who fears he may be a gay, he's married so we'll only refer to him by his christian name. This is Domingo from little Oakley."
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:19, Reply)
maybe they are furries and will get it on in the when they drive through the lama enclosure(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:03,
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alt: yesif it's going badly you can push her out of the car into the lion enclosure, also many have a travelodge nearby.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 15:57,
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I dunno, urban mining maybein five years I want councils to be paying me to take the waste from their boroughs which I can then sprocess and sell on.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:01,
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Somepne just ended an email to me "I hope this helps"it really didn't and I lolled a bit...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:04,
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I sign off quite a lot of emails with that.What I really mean is: I hope this is sufficient information for you to never want to contact me again.
I hope this helps.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:06,
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I sign shite e-mails off with 'Best Regards'secretly I couldn't care less *taps nose*
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:07,
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It's a polite informality on reflectionI like to at least pretend to be interested in my clients
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:09,
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The regards I send are not my best, but they are usually kind.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:10,
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I'm torn man, 'Kind regards' is just fucking Queer, but I have to something nice yet informal so 'Best Regards' it isIt's tough here at the top
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:13,
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I put "cheers"or "fuck you you fuckin annoyin prick" in white text
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:13,
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I like having a business with happy clients and food on the table so I'll politely decline this suggestionCheers anyway
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:15,
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I sign off with a simple 'yours', personally.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:17,
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OH MAN IF THEY ONLY KNEW!!!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:08,
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I occasionally sign emails "cheers"as a legless homage.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:10,
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Don't start that off again(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:12,
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I also like to pay tribute to Sir Bader from time to time.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:13,
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My father is obsessed with Douglas Bader.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:14,
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He was a rather impressive manAnd even to the end, was still taller than Battered.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:15,
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Apparently he was a arsey bastardshort man's complex I guess
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:17,
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I thought you'd met Battered? LOL
Aye, I hear the same, supposedly he was especially a twat to the guy who used to help him round.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:18,
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he went to my old schoolThey named the sportshall after him, ironylols
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:20,
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HahaMy old school named their sports hall after a teacher that was killed on a school holiday, LOL.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:21,
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Is that a Morrissey lyric?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:16,
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give me 10k and I'll buy 10k worth of penny sweets then sell them for 2p each.I'll call the business "rusty tuppence."
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:09,
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No Battered did not goand don't call Chompy a spastic.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:12,
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He c&p a /talk threadAnd someone inferred that you were from Texas.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:12,
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Oh, I saw that.A picture of my three favourite benders.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:18,
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I would use my police contactsto set up a pimp disposal service in the Manchester area.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:11,
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You should display their severed heads outside your flatto deter Jehovah's witnesses
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:14, Reply)
Oi! Boyce!I left you in charge, and look what's happened.
you are BANNED.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:15,
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Hey, everything is calm now!And dull as piss as a result.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:27,
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Alt: I'd go to a safari park with a girlfriend.But not with someone I'm dating. It is a bit odd.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:14, Reply)
so, someone else's girlfriend, then?I always knew you were a dark horse, Baz. Albeit an expensively-jacketed one.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:16,
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She just left a message - she can't come to the safari park after all.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:17,
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oh, sick burn, dude.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:18,
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you walk around and just chat and the animals are dead nice if you go to a good onenot the kent one though, cos there are markers on every corner for all the zookeperes taht were killed by tigers
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I imagine it'll be light-modifiying photobioreactors for optimised algae growth.that, or the blood stuff.
but, for the purposes of this thread, I'm starting a rapid delivery service for marine birds and it'll be called Teals on Wheels.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:14,
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How hard is it to grow Algae effectivly? I read they're looking into it for biofuel.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:17, Reply)
1: buy pond2: leave pond
3: algae grows
4: ?????????
5: profit
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:19,
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not very efficient in terms of footprint or timescale.But you really don't want a conversation about this, it'll be duller than the fighty threads.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:20,
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they've been looking at it for biofuel for years.it's not very hard but there are a fuckload of idiots and chancers in the field and no-one is really looking at it properly except the big oil companies, who are only looking at it to make sure no-one else does.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:19,
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Let me know if my assumptions are wrongbut it doesn't matter if the Algae dies in the bioreactor does it? So you have to just get high growth rates in a specific time rather than having a healthy enviroment.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:22, Reply)
The same could be said about cultivating children for organ harvesting.That would be a great business plan. There would be an almost never ending supply of children, and there would be no waiting lists for organ transfers.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:25,
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the lazy bastards(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:33,
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it matters because you need the algae to increase in density - reproduce, essentiallyand produce the phospholipids that you can make biodiesel out of. they won't do either if they aren't happy.
It doesn't strictly matter if they die but it's easier to harvest them whole.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:26,
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This could be a job for TGBtyo provide alarge wet and warm recepticle for the growth of algae
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:28,
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I'd rather use a reactor so I can control the environmentplus, we've already developed and tested them, it's just I can't be arsed to commercialise right now, you have to deal with such wankers to get it going.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:29,
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That's true, Still there's some fat cat quango green initiative money out there.
www.carbontrust.co.uk/emerging-technologies/current-focus-areas/algae-biofuels-challenge/pages/algae-biofuels-challenge.aspx
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:32, Reply)
Actually that funding has stopped.Probably some euro money about though.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:34, Reply)
carbon trust are cunts* and I wouldn't touch them with yours*carbon trust are not actually cunts but have really prohibitive IP restrictions which mean I'm not prepared to work with them at the moment.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:34,
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They seem a bit too slick to me.edit: but anyway I think it's a good idea, and if you can use waste or contaminated water and clean it with the Algae you'll add another way to make money.
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:35, Reply)
you need fairly hardcore shitto deal with contaminated water - rhodococcus, clostridia, say, rather than algae - but we've looked at linked systems to do both.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 17:00,
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You say the most romantic things(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:29,
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he does, doesn't he(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:31,
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Come on baby, come back to my hotelthere are complimentary biscuits and I have chocolate mousse...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:32,
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i went to a safari park in kent as a date once, it wasn't completely rubbishwe weren't allowed to touch the lemurs though
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:20, Reply)
Good planI really want a beer tonight, but I told myself I wouldn't drink until Friday
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:27,
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that's the problem with talking to yourselfyou say stupid shit.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:28,
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oh man, don't turn your bully-cannon on me(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:30,
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Not having a beer, clearly.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:32,
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YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE IT WINK(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:30,
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Well, to all those people who accuse me of being boringlet me just point out that my thread lasted for 400+ comments - and that's without adding all the deleted comments.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:30,
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Thanks to my expert management.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:32,
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Oh right.I'll cock off then, shall I?
*flounces*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:42,
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You know the rules.Delete your account and kill yourself b3th. I can't make exceptions.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:42,
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Never said that.But I think the last few days have been more fun than is usual around here. doubt it'll last though.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:45,
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It's not fun, though.It's childish and tedious.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:47,
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It's still better than fuck all, followed by nothing, followed by a lunch thread followed by nothing. In my opinion anyway, but then I have also instigated childish drama, and I thought that was fun too.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:50,
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there is, I hate to suggest, a happy medium though.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 17:03,
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Point.not seen it in a while though.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 17:17,
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You're right. This is dull.Is there anyone here present who has issues with Monty's internet demeanour, personal life or proclivities and would like to have a massive go at him?
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Didn't they do that yesterday?Maybe we could get a recap for those who missed it.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:34,
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I'll start*puts up dukes*
I find your frequent use of unpleasant language most unpleasant!
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:39, Reply)
I am most terribly sorry.Won't happen again.
There. That was easy.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:42,
Reply)
Indeed it wasOne has to wonder why all such internet altercations can't be solved this simply.
Tea?
(, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:45, Reply)
I find your on-line persona at odds with your apparent real life personality.I prefer the latter.
Suck on that Boyce.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:43,
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Whilst I disagree entirely with this standpoint,I respect your right to an opinion different from mine and bow gracefully to you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:46,
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As with DF,I shall endeavour to desist from such meanery from now on. Please excuse my past behaviour. My pursuit of what the youth call 'lulz' may have been so frenetic as to have caused some 'collateral damage' alongst the way.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:44,
Reply)
His outright dismissal of some things can get aggravating.(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 20 Mar 2012, 16:50,
Reply)
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