long thread is long
do you carry an organ donor card? would you donate anything and to whom?

alt: first word that pops into your head - go! ok, now. why?

alt alt: are you the kind of person who can eat cold curry and pizza for breakfast? or do you believe "it's too early for that" about any kind of food?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:12, 113 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I used to have one years ago, but lost it.
But they are welcome to take whatever they can salvage once I'm gone.

Alt: Breasts

Altalt: I can, but I do think that certain foods are only appropriate at certain times of day and tend to stick to them.*

*This reply may contain traces of autism.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Oh good, now I have breasts in my head.

( Kroney, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:20, Reply)

Ha, tithead.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:23, Reply)

No I don't, but you're are welcome to any bit of me you fancy
alt: flange, not sure why...

altalt: it's never too early, ask Scarpe
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:18, Reply)

i have got one and i would donate everything to anyone, when your dead it don't matter
alt ghosts - i have been talking about ghosts with louise and established that she is an idiot

alt alt pizza and curry for breakfast?? ARE YOU MAD???
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I wonder who'll be the first person to make a
"I'll donate *my* organ"-esque joke. Oh, I suppose me.
( Kroney, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:19, Reply)

why have me you and naked ape been ignored here kroney?
are we shit?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Yes

( Kroney, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:34, Reply)

I doubt anyone would want my cassio, it's not that good :'(
I went into the fridge and found a surprise!
Half a french loaf filled with: boiled egg, pork tenderloin, chicken, peppered steak slices, about 10 slices of cheese and coleslaw.

It's wrapped up on a plate with a napkin that says "MMPS vs FOOD!" on it.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Some silly bint tried to eat with Adam last night
she managed a quarter of her milkshake and didn't touch her burger, pathetic
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:23, Reply)

what the FFFFF?
you don't challenge that guy, he's hardcore.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:28, Reply)

I bet Monty's got one
His organs will make for fascinating study, if he's got any left by the time he carks it.

Alt: Annoyingly, the first word that I thought of when I read this was "penis". As in, thread penis
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:20, Reply)

I don't, but I would.
Alt: Flange

Alt Alt: Not cold curry, I'd reheat it. Cold pizza is fine though. And no, it's never 'too early'
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:22, Reply)

Altalt: A nice freshly prepared potato masala dosa with sambhar and chutney would make an excellent breakfast.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:26, Reply)

or lunch or dinner

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:33, Reply)

I don't, but really should - not that anyone would want mine.
Alt: Lebensraum. Just because.

Alt alt: On the whole I struggle to eat anything at all in the mornings, just don't fancy food until I've been up for a while. However with a bad enough hangover I’ll eat pretty much anything to stop myself from feeling ill: I just open the fridge and pray there’s something in it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:27, Reply)

After all, prayer solves so many problems(!)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:29, Reply)

Our Father, who art in Heaven
*URGH*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:44, Reply)

to answer my own questions
no, but i really should. i should also donate blood. hmm.

alt: ostrich. no idea why.

alt alt: like lovely monty, i struggle to manage breakfast. but i would happily dive into a diet coke at 7am, which makes most people recoil.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:31, Reply)

I'd quite like to try ostrich meat...
Alt Alt: That's because you're fucking SWIMMING IN IT!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Ostrich is nice
I had some stuffed with pate a while ago
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:33, Reply)

one of my favourite restaurants in london
has an unfortunate fine line in cold meat platters. ostrich is on there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:42, Reply)

I've got quite a rare blood type. Therefore I need it all.

( Kroney, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Type A (hole)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:34, Reply)

My brother's got the rarest blood type going.
He's also by far the most reckless of the two of us.
( Kroney, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:35, Reply)

All the more reason to give blood.
You may need some back
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:39, Reply)

No no no
They'll bleed us dry.
( Kroney, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:40, Reply)

Its only an armful

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:41, Reply)

I tried the same logic with the sperm bank
I think they could tell I was just looking for an excuse to wank into a cup.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Do you need an excuse?
Also, remind me never to accept the offer of tea from you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:46, Reply)

I SWEAR that was "Coffee-Mate"

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:48, Reply)

why would you need an excuse?
just don't do it in the china dept at peter jones...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:47, Reply)

They don't seem to mind so much in Matalan

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:49, Reply)

I'm intending to donate in a few days.
I'm super common blood though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:37, Reply)

this much is apparent

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:40, Reply)

You fucking are though, innit blood.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:56, Reply)

I always thought I should give blood
But I've always been a massive stoner and wondered whether they are bothered about stuff like that in the blood. I suppose I should sign up now I no longer smoke...
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Apparently not.
Also

st b
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:57, Reply)

They're more concerned about whether you've been having bumsex with bumders at AIDS parties.

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:00, Reply)

Or if you have ever been to Africa
As a heavyish smoker I always love giving blood then having my cup of squash (they dont give out tea anymore) then having a lovely lovely smoke.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:17, Reply)

Ah, yes, I'm told there's a similarly pleasant hit if you go for a pint shortly after they've let you out!

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)

I had tea the last time I went
Your donation place is just shit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Doesn't sound too bad if they gave him a reefer afterwards.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:31, Reply)

As Robert Robinson would say
Would that it were would that it were
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:10, Reply)

that I wouldnt deny
last time I didnt even get a fucking biscuit cheap arse bastards
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:09, Reply)

I carry an organ donor card and am registered on the bone marrow list too
I've told Mrs Cow I don't want any money spent on a funeral should I go first as it is a fucking waste. Spend it on a wake/party instead

Alt:
Liar

Alt Alt:
I can eat anything at any time of day
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:32, Reply)

have they drilled into your pelvis to take a sample yet?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:40, Reply)

Nope, you just need to give a blood sample

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:43, Reply)

oh...but to harvest it, don't they drill into your pelvis...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:46, Reply)

Yep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:05, Reply)

FUCK
THAT
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:08, Reply)

You'd fuck a hole drilled into my pelvis?
You sick sick man
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)

Chicks dig me.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:34, Reply)

Are you soil?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:34, Reply)

The scratch around in him for worms.

( Kroney, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:36, Reply)

Nope. Probably should though.
I've not given blood yet because I'm rubbish with needles. Again, I probably should.

Alt: Needles. Thanks a fucking bunch, Rach.

Alt alt: Yep. Well, pizza's ok cold, curry I'd prefer to warm up a bit first. Does depend how much I've drunk the night before, mind.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:39, Reply)

i don't gget the needle fear thing
is it an irrational fear or do you just think it will weally weally hurt?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:41, Reply)

Needles DO hurt
You prick (them into your skin)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:42, Reply)

yeah but not really, not as much as say
bum cancer
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Depends
if you've got needly-bum-cancer
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:49, Reply)

That's the worst kind

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:51, Reply)

It's an irrational fear
Particularly irrational as I'm fine with injections. It's something about the thought of having a needle sitting in one of my blood vessels extracting stuff that puts me on edge. I think I've got better in recent years, but then it's quite a while since anyone tried to extract blood from me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Here, you can read my riveting tale on the matter,
b3ta.com/questions/phobias/post140982
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:47, Reply)

I have a problem with needles, too.
The worst was when I had my wisdom teeth out. Fucking great big vetinary syringe in the gum. Still hurt. Second injection. Still hurt. By this point I was gripping the chair handles so tightly my knuckles had gone white.

"Are you ok?" asks the dentist
"Not really, I have a problem with needles"
"Oh, you should have said something!"
"Would it have stopped you sticking needles into my gums?"
"No"
"Didn't think so."

So I have a fear of needles and an apparent resistance to painkillers. Which is nice.
( Kroney, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:45, Reply)

*Wisdom teeth painful memory high fives*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:46, Reply)

i once had 13 injections into my gums

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:47, Reply)

i don't think cock counts

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:49, Reply)

oh Q-bert

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Yeah well I once had 20.
In my fucking eyes. No anaesthetic. Didn't even hurt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:49, Reply)

Eyeballs have no pain receptors so this is entirely possible

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:50, Reply)

You won't mind if I punch you right in the fucking eye then will you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:50, Reply)

+japs

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:52, Reply)

you racist fuck
*gazzes mods HARD*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:53, Reply)

I AM THE LAW!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:56, Reply)

Rapist.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:58, Reply)

can this be true?
when i used to wear contact lenses, i once put them in without having washed off the cleaning solution. i was screaming in agony, and it took about 20 mins to peel my lids open enough to get them out. the whites of my eyes looked like chopped liver for hours.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:53, Reply)

Could it be the eyelids that hurt?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:57, Reply)

I believe so, also your brain doesn't have pain receptors
*awaits slap down from badger*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:58, Reply)

Brain - true
Eyes - you can test this for yourself right now with a pencil.
Early results here suggest that it smarts a little.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:01, Reply)

For credibility this should be a double-blind study.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:02, Reply)

golf clap

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:03, Reply)

I hate having needles in my gum so much I now ask if they're necessary
I had a filling drilled without anaesthetic, turns out the tooth underneath had rotted, due to the filling being badly fitted. That was rather painful when the drill touched it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:49, Reply)

a) that wasn't a drill and
b) I lied when i said I was a dentist
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:50, Reply)

In that case, your cock is even smaller than Lusty said.
Also, it shouldn't vibrate and shake like that, you should see a doctor.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:53, Reply)

It was the Michael J Fox method

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:20, Reply)

c) despite what he told you, there is no such thing as 'anal teeth'

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:53, Reply)

so you just have a very lumpy prostate then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:54, Reply)

years of wear have left it blistered and covered in cysts

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:54, Reply)

He could have a teratoma growing on it...

(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:55, Reply)

i hate dentists needles so much
once had a bunch of teeth removed (think inbred-looking double row shark boy grille) and on one tooth, the cack-handed besom stuck the needle right through my gum into my tongue. at which point i would have gone 'ITTFFF IIMM MMMYY UNGGG!' if i hadn't had a FUCKING NEEDLE IN MY TONGUE.
bloody thing was lolling about in my gob like a sea cucumber. best.deacon.EVAH./
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:27, Reply)

That sounds horrific.
This is not going to help my dislike of needles.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:30, Reply)

it didn't help my fear of dentists
so imagine my joy when i find out my girl has two brothers who are dentists.
imagine my secondary joy when she chips a tooth on a whisk falling out of a kitchen cupboard, we rush to see her dentist bro to fix it (hello, i'm your sister's new boyfriend, yes, she has a broken front tooth and split lip.. broke her tooth on a whisk.. so..d'ya like me?) and after fixing hers, she went 'oh and can you have a look at UDP's as well? hop in the chair..
double whammy of not wanting to look like a pussy, and shame at having not been to see a butcher, sorry, torturer, sorry, i mean dentist in ten years plus.. thank god my fear of the white masked monsters has led to almost obsessive levels of dental hygeine.. not so much as a filling. still shat frisbees though.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Reminds me, I've not been to see a dentist in years myself
I think there's someone over on /talk who might appreciate those frisbees, mind...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:41, Reply)

I'm actually registered on my notes as needlephobic, I'm proper bad with them, even though I have to have them at _least_ once a month.
I'm now alright with normal injections as long as I don't have to see them, but I need EMLA cream for anything that goes in a vain. It's nothing to do with the pain, with me, it's the thought.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:48, Reply)

I do.
Anyone can have anything. I'll be dead, what would I care? As long as it isn't some horrible povvo type.

alt: boobs. I think I must be spending too much time on here...

alt alt: ew. What do you think I am, some kind of animal?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:56, Reply)

Alt Alt: Nope, more like a roman soldier - Breastus Maximus.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 10:58, Reply)

*battle cries*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:02, Reply)

Well, you don't get much say once you've died
Think, those kidneys of yours could be transplanted into some benefit-scrounging-forrin-immigrant-cancer-causing-gyppo-peedo-PE-teacher-lefty. Have you thought this through?!?!?!
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:03, Reply)

that's it. I'm coming off the organ donor list.
I don't want some forrin chancer abusing my top quality British organs.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I'm sorry but i just find this place really dull unless something's kicking off
would anyone mind?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:04, Reply)

fuck off bert

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:06, Reply)

Leave then

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:07, Reply)

maybe you should leave, you have a poor attitude

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:09, Reply)

No I don't.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:11, Reply)

yes you do, you were quite clearly trying to bully me earlier, everyone saw
and you're in a bad mood, so tehre
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:18, Reply)

most people ARE really dull (including me)
this place is no exception.

it's just more interesting than work!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:08, Reply)

generally speaking
that's like being more interesting than magnolia paint over woodchip.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:23, Reply)

i did but i lost a wallet
and haven't replaced all the contents.
i'd donate my liver, powdered, to pay for the funeral. the chinese would pay top dollar, as would more discerning mashheads. or my pineal gland..

alt:melanoma
because it's biopsy time

alt alt: i can eat almost anything, at any given time of day. i even managed a cheaper-than-ginsters tikka slice, while absolutely hanging, in a room with someone boking loudly at hammerfest one year, which promptly set my more delicate mate off boking too. which in turn, did absolutel;y nothign to halt my enthusastic consumption of said dirty tikka slice. yes i'm a wrong'un.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:19, Reply)

ouchy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:21, Reply)

i agree
no-one should be made to watch me eat a tikka slice.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Your liver is probably already powdered due to excessive scrumpy consumption.

( Peej, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:07, Reply)

conscrumption?
that should be a word
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 15:22, Reply)

I am leaving my body to science
but I have recently found that I now have to put it in my will but that seems dumb, I would have started rotting before they read it.
( Peej, Thu 22 Mar 2012, 12:05, Reply)