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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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 It's Friday, it's 1Pm
	It's Friday, it's 1PmIt's time for "what are you doing this weekend" thread!
WooooooOOOoooo
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:12, 242 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
 I'm going to take the kids to see Newton Faulkner
	I'm going to take the kids to see Newton Faulknerand I am going to try and get pissed
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:13, Reply)
 I have never heard of him
	I have never heard of himbut he is doing a free gig at the opening of some outdoor play park thing and I thought the kids might like a day out of the basement
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:15, Reply)
 Lusty and I saw him on Euston Station covered in bits of sandwich.
	Lusty and I saw him on Euston Station covered in bits of sandwich.He reminds me very much of my mate Yeti when he was younger:
Ginger, manky locks, stinks of off milk.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:17, Reply)
 Dude!
	Dude!Ta for the stick. Anime looks excellent, couldn't get upgrade to work.
Love you, man.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:18, Reply)
 I don't hate you!
	I don't hate you!Why do people on the internet think I don't like them?
I think you're charming witty and fun.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
 If I say thank you will you not wage an internet flame war against me?
	If I say thank you will you not wage an internet flame war against me?(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:27, Reply)
 I wouldn't do that.
	I wouldn't do that.Though I see my incredibly witty bbc news mock ups are no longer on your profile
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:28, Reply)
 Aren't they?
	Aren't they?Sorry, it's no reflection on you, I think I removed a bunch of stuff as it was getting a bit large and the hate wasn't prominant enough.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
 That is word for word what your mum said to me in the sack last night.
	That is word for word what your mum said to me in the sack last night.(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:42, Reply)
 I have regenerated into a new character
	I have regenerated into a new characterjust like the in no way only for faintly pathetic, friendless children's tosser 'Dr Who'.
No, not 'the doctor' - Dr fucking Who. I say 'Superman I' as well, you flid. And 'nil all'. I don't give a fuck, yo.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:21, Reply)
 Yup you'd need to back it all up
	Yup you'd need to back it all upBut hey if it's not good enough I'll just throw myself under a fucking truck shall I?!!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:23, Reply)
 What OS are you running now?
	What OS are you running now?I will try and sort you an upgrade disk
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:27, Reply)
 you dont always crack jokes but when you do...
	you dont always crack jokes but when you do...www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOaxOolM60s
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:18, Reply)
 FFS, warlocks control demons and draw their power from them, they aren't demons in or out of sacks.
	FFS, warlocks control demons and draw their power from them, they aren't demons in or out of sacks.AND Paladins are forces for good, they fight warlocks and demons.
GET IT RIGHT OR GET RIGHT OUT!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:25, Reply)
 I think you're saying he's so ugly you need a bag over his head before you can fuck him
	I think you're saying he's so ugly you need a bag over his head before you can fuck himwhoever it is that you're talking about
bazinga
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:24, Reply)
 I don't think it's a real word, but I was using it to imply "penis"
	I don't think it's a real word, but I was using it to imply "penis"(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:31, Reply)
 No, as in "It's alright Monty, I know your bazonga is old and doesn't do what you want it to, we can just cuddle instead. Hold on a sec, I'm just going to phone gonz first"
	No, as in "It's alright Monty, I know your bazonga is old and doesn't do what you want it to, we can just cuddle instead. Hold on a sec, I'm just going to phone gonz first"(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:36, Reply)
 god i hate when that happens i dont want to cuddle after your stupid bazonga wouldnt work gerroff twat waffle
	god i hate when that happens i dont want to cuddle after your stupid bazonga wouldnt work gerroff twat waffle(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)
 my gf text back:
	my gf text back:I saw it, it was funny(!). You? The arsehole of a boyfriend had a fit bod. x
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:19, Reply)
 i diodn't know you was a internet perv like agnostic and fister
	i diodn't know you was a internet perv like agnostic and fisterwe're not friends anymore
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:24, Reply)
 I thought we stopped being friends ages ago when you were mean to me for no reason.
	I thought we stopped being friends ages ago when you were mean to me for no reason.(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
 the future of internet shut ins
	the future of internet shut inswww.theregister.co.uk/2012/04/19/android_escorts_ramp_up/
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:20, Reply)
 Working tomorrow, that's about it though
	Working tomorrow, that's about it thoughMight head to Congleton for a friend's birthday, but she knows I'm skint, so isn't too fussed if I don't.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:22, Reply)
 my bridesmaid's dress is from a shop in mongleton
	my bridesmaid's dress is from a shop in mongletonthis necessitates more visits to mongleton than anyone should have to make.
what is with those fucking giant BEARS? why??
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:24, Reply)
 i don't know
	i don't knowthe bears look as inbred as the rest of the residents.
although my brother's wife is from there, so i should really stop that.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:25, Reply)
 fuck that bitch
	fuck that bitch she is gettin' on mah NERVES right now
all laying up on me, I'm like FUCK there's at least 5ft of space next to me do you have to lay RIGHT on top of me, or alternatively if I'm on my side, right behind me with your head in my arse? NO. I just shoved her so hard she literally flipped over. Fucking stupid asshole.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:54, Reply)
 yeah
	yeahmongleton has these shitty giant plastic bears all over it to symbolise something unknown. they were crap to start with, but now they're all faded and doubly crap.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
 I'm doing a shoot for Record Store Day, and on Sunday some pics for myself of St Georges Day Parade.
	I'm doing a shoot for Record Store Day, and on Sunday some pics for myself of St Georges Day Parade.And going to a Natural Health and Wellbeing fair, for my sins. Crystal, Reiki and Spiritual healing. "Empowerment" workshop. The usual charlatans.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
 Unless you're going
	Unless you're goingwith the intention of burning the fucking place to the ground and drowning any of the fey woo arseholes who try and escape, you are entirely dead to me.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:29, Reply)
 A friend wants to go.
	A friend wants to go.She believes all tha t shit, even homeotherapy. Homotherapy more like, what bollocks. Then again, she gives "Angel card readings", at 30 quid a pop, so she must be a bit canny.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:34, Reply)
 May I refer you to Rk Ge and Fa
	May I refer you to Rk Ge and Faskepfeeds.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/periodic-table-of-irrational-bollocks1.png
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:35, Reply)
 That's going on my noticeboard,
	That's going on my noticeboard,until I'm told to take it down. They believe all that shit here.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:38, Reply)
 Its printed out on A3 colour on my office wall
	Its printed out on A3 colour on my office wallNo-one has been offended except the people that believe in homeopathic remedies who rant on about how they cured this or that on their gran etc. Most religious types say "well at least you've got everyone included"
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:42, Reply)
 Tonight, I'm going to be going to a night my friends run.
	Tonight, I'm going to be going to a night my friends run.Tomorrow I'm going to be BOTTLING MY BEER!!! sunday I'm going to B&Q with my mum.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:26, Reply)
 ^ This is funny because your "thing" is posting bbc news links
	^ This is funny because your "thing" is posting bbc news linksAnd this is a bbc news link giving advice on stalkers.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)
 ^ And this is funny because you like to point out when and why your posts are funny.
	^ And this is funny because you like to point out when and why your posts are funny.(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)
 I'm gonna get some content together for Amazedogs and launch that so I can be all like "HOLY FUCK, LOOK HOW GOOD I AM" to the recruiters.
	I'm gonna get some content together for Amazedogs and launch that so I can be all like "HOLY FUCK, LOOK HOW GOOD I AM" to the recruiters.I've been offered a role for a really big newspaper to be senior in migrating from one system to another. It's a bit to managorial for me, I don't wanna be in charge of people.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:27, Reply)
 I'm pretty sure showing them amazedogs won't help you get that role.
	I'm pretty sure showing them amazedogs won't help you get that role.(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
 It's a bit of a karati kid "wax on wax off" thing.
	It's a bit of a karati kid "wax on wax off" thing.You might see a website about dogs, they'll see a wordpress install with home made custom widgets including intrigration into facebook connect, a complete ground-up theme, extracting data from other news sources and compliling them into a format that is presentable. They'll see jQuery widgets all over the show providing a rich ux/ui that are made specificly by me, or customised to fit in the role they'll be in. They'll show frictionless sharing and direct tweeting. It'll show an understanding of the latest CSS3 and HTML5 standards.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:36, Reply)
 I couldn't agree more.
	I couldn't agree more.I was just about to post pretty much this, word for word, actually.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:38, Reply)
 I'm always up in his grill
	I'm always up in his grillme and the G man have had a beef since time, man. It started with me being proper vexed over some duck marinade, and you know G is a non-pettance bredrin? It's just how it rolls sometimes.
I love him really. He's splendid.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:43, Reply)
 yeah but doesn't his hatred of bacon REALLY boil your piss sometimes?
	yeah but doesn't his hatred of bacon REALLY boil your piss sometimes?(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)
 They aren't going to want to know what you can do, though
	They aren't going to want to know what you can do, thoughthey'll want to know how you'll get other people to do what needs to be done.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:39, Reply)
 I thought you'd be doing some shadow boxing to loosen up before the main bout of the weekend.
	I thought you'd be doing some shadow boxing to loosen up before the main bout of the weekend.(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
 I'm not going on account of the phsyical threat of violance on me.
	I'm not going on account of the phsyical threat of violance on me. It's a shame, I won't see the deposit back. Took time off from work. That was this month's charity money to go to the orphaned dogs with cancer, that I used on this. I thought, "It's only one month out of 12 where I won't be selflessly giving to the poor orphaned puppy dogs with cancer. Someone else can pick up the fight against that awful desease this month.". Never mind.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
 going to Wexford, writing a grant application.
	going to Wexford, writing a grant application.got to get on a fucking bastard Ryanair plane as well, shortly. No Aer Lingus flights at the right time. Fucking fuckery.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:28, Reply)
 eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow, ryanair?
	eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeow, ryanair?you'd be better off swimming, darling.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
 i've only done easyjet once - never again. it was full of horrific people all pushing to get on board and all going on horrific-sounding £200 all-inclusive package deals and then wondering aloud the whole way home why their holiday was so shit
	i've only done easyjet once - never again. it was full of horrific people all pushing to get on board and all going on horrific-sounding £200 all-inclusive package deals and then wondering aloud the whole way home why their holiday was so shitproblem is, i think it's the only way to get to madeira, and i really liked madeira.
ryanair, i hear might be even worse than the orange planes of doom. you have my most sincere sympathy. at least it's a short flight.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:36, Reply)
 For short flights they are both fine.
	For short flights they are both fine.Bristol to Edinburgh takes an hour and costs a fraction of the equivilant rail fare.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:37, Reply)
 Oh god, easyjet is BA club class
	Oh god, easyjet is BA club classcompared to Ryanair. I don't mind easyjet, as long as you don't actually use if for anything other than UK internal flights it isn't full of cunts (that much)
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:38, Reply)
 i know i am a bit of a spoiled snob
	i know i am a bit of a spoiled snobbut it really does amaze me that people deliberately pick things because they are cheap and then wonder why they are shit. it's like going for a "set menu" - it will not be as nice as the full price options. you know this. that is why it's cheap. now stop whining.
but these people on easyjet... there was no escape from their whining. waaaah waaaaaaaah there was no air con. waaaaaah it was dirty. waaaaaah the pool was overcrowded. we paid £200 for the week for that. WELL WHAT DID YOU EXPECT FOR THAT KIND OF MONEY, A PRIVATE PLANE AND A FIVE STAR HOTEL? idiots.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)
 Easyjet UK internal is almost all just business travellers though
	Easyjet UK internal is almost all just business travellers thoughespecially during the week. It's fine. It's more that it's one of the few options that doesn't involve flying to Heathrow from here, which is a sure fire way to put an hour delay on anything. At least Easyjet are usually on time, which is more than BA to heathrow ever is for an early am flight.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:47, Reply)
 mind you, 95% of the time I fly BA to city to avoid the orange
	mind you, 95% of the time I fly BA to city to avoid the orangeso I shouldn't really defend it.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:48, Reply)
 i've never taken an internal UK flight so i will bow to your experience here
	i've never taken an internal UK flight so i will bow to your experience herei can tell you that gatwick is full of cunts flying orange though.
when my friend and i went to grenada, i had upgraded us as a surprise for her, since she had just had an awful break-up and was in a total mess. the virgin upper section is bang in the middle of all the easyjet counters for some ridiculous reason. we had to cut through easyjet people with our suitcases to get to virgin, and these two very rude (and also orange) bitches said to us aggressively: "er - the queue starts all the way back there, can't you see it?"
pointing out where we were checking in? priceless.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:52, Reply)
 I'd rather staple my balls to the ceiling than ever use Gatwick
	I'd rather staple my balls to the ceiling than ever use Gatwickonly if it's geographically impossible to use another airport will I go near it. Or skiing. Ski flights always fucking leave from Gatwick.
It's nothing to do with Easyjet customers. All of Gatwick's patrons are fuckheads of the highest order.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)
 i hate gatwick too
	i hate gatwick tooheathrow is really easy from kensington. and manchester is about 15 mins from wilmslow, where my dad is. gatwick? add 90 mins of shit. and don't get me started on stanstead. vileness.
so what do you do mostly, edinburgh to city presumably?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:57, Reply)
 I have flown easyjet several times
	I have flown easyjet several timesYou get what you pay for. £50 to prague and another £50 home from Munich? Really not complaining, here. It beat walking.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 14:03, Reply)
 absolutely - you get what you pay for
	absolutely - you get what you pay forpeople kicking and screaming about what they get when they paid nothing for it? annoying!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)
 Ryanair are great.
	Ryanair are great.My favourite bit of the flight is when they introduce the pilot.
'Your Captain today is Paddy O'Shea, Paddy is a veteran of 74 landing, with 37 of those by way of emergency.'
Let's get ready to rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:33, Reply)
 they don't let you sit by the emergency exit
	they don't let you sit by the emergency exitunless you pay more. if no-one does, no-one sits there. I'm pretty sure not having someone by the emergency exit contravenes a fuckload of FAA regulations, but hey.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:34, Reply)
 was it true or was it daily fail bollocks
	was it true or was it daily fail bollocksthat they wanted to have "standing room only" flights, where you strapped yourself to the wall like on the gravitron at alton towers?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:38, Reply)
 bollocks probably.
	bollocks probably.well, Michael O'leary said he was considering it, but he always does that for press attention. Same as the paying to piss.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:40, Reply)
 why would he put something so negative out there for publicity?
	why would he put something so negative out there for publicity?weird
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:41, Reply)
 it's not negative
	it's not negativewhen your message is 100% low price over any quality.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)
 Nope, it was on the bbc as well
	Nope, it was on the bbc as wellwhether that makes it true or not, I'm not sure, but it probably makes it at least 70% less racist.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 14:05, Reply)
 Please punch as many of those diddly-dee sentimental bog-trotting wankers for me as possible.
	Please punch as many of those diddly-dee sentimental bog-trotting wankers for me as possible.Thanks in advance.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:30, Reply)
 I'm staying with my friends fiancee's parents
	I'm staying with my friends fiancee's parents so probably best not. Plus, all his brothers are top level hurlers and they are fucking HUGE.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
 I heard there's a bit of a revival going on in the Bristol area this weekend, though.
	I heard there's a bit of a revival going on in the Bristol area this weekend, though.That's what I heard, anyway.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:35, Reply)
 Have you spoken to Stunned today?
	Have you spoken to Stunned today?I had a missed call from him, I belled him back but I had no answer.
Just wondering what he wanted.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:36, Reply)
 probably to know why anyone would use "bell" as a verb?
	probably to know why anyone would use "bell" as a verb?you bell-end
or something about bell-ming.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:37, Reply)
 it annoys me right
	it annoys me rightwhen i'm watching bett hughes on divine women
and the end she says, for your infomration pack, please RING 09blahblahblah
RING? Fucking RING? I haven't RUNG someone since 1989
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:42, Reply)
 lose your hands in a tragic public phone incident?
	lose your hands in a tragic public phone incident?and it's difficult to use the dobber on touch screen?
there, there
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:44, Reply)
 'ring' comes from the old phones you had to dial on that circle thing
	'ring' comes from the old phones you had to dial on that circle thingthese days 'call' is more appropriate
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:47, Reply)
 i have not heard of this programme
	i have not heard of this programmewhat is it? and what does she want to give you an info pack on?
sounds suspiciously god-bothering.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
 kinda not really, exploring the roles of women in ancient religion
	kinda not really, exploring the roles of women in ancient religionand how since Augustin the catholic church has been screwing them
but pre 376AD there were lady bishops and that, plus hindus like birds an all
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:48, Reply)
 That's a great programme.
	That's a great programme.I had down as more of a 'celebrity family fortunes' man, I have to admit.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:52, Reply)
 nah, i love all that history bollocks
	nah, i love all that history bollocksher documentaries on ancient greece were bloody good too
that woman joanne this week was mental 'women have a different role, they can't be priests because jesus was a man' loopy bitch
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)
 Did you see Mary Beard's new Ancient Rome series?
	Did you see Mary Beard's new Ancient Rome series?She knows her shit but she's a bit common.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:55, Reply)
 Ooh, that sounds good
	Ooh, that sounds goodI have a soft spot for Bethany Hughes and her hugely over-inflated ego.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 14:10, Reply)
 
	 Going out on the bikes if it stops raining, if not, Star Wars Monopoly and massive drugs.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:32, Reply)
 needing to be on more than one bike at once
	needing to be on more than one bike at onceisn't going to help with the fat meme, mate.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:33, Reply)
 a typical burst releases as much energy in a few seconds as the Sun will in its entire 10-billion-year lifetime
	a typical burst releases as much energy in a few seconds as the Sun will in its entire 10-billion-year lifetimeIt has been hypothesized that a gamma-ray burst in the Milky Way, pointing directly towards the Earth, could cause a mass extinction event
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:40, Reply)
 Yes
	YesIf WR 104 were to hit Earth with a burst of 10 seconds duration, its gamma rays could deplete about 25 percent of the world's ozone layer. This would result in mass extinction, food chain depletion, and starvation. The side of Earth facing the GRB would receive potentially lethal radiation exposure, which can cause radiation sickness in the short term, and in the long term result in serious impacts to life due to ozone layer depletion.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:45, Reply)
 When she sees my shitty cock getting wiped on her curtains
	When she sees my shitty cock getting wiped on her curtainsyour mum releases as much energy in a few seconds as the Sun will in its entire 10-billion-year lifetime.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:47, Reply)
 isn't the sun already like 16 billion years old?
	isn't the sun already like 16 billion years old?i thought it was on its third life cycle already or something?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:49, Reply)
 yeah it is, its on its third cycle, honest
	yeah it is, its on its third cycle, honesti saw it on a programme
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 14:08, Reply)
 I really need to go  back to sleep but I can't
	I really need to go  back to sleep but I can'tmy brain is in overtime and it's too bright in here
what the FUCKING FUCK
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 13:50, Reply)
 so a casket is shaped like a rectangle
	so a casket is shaped like a rectanglewhereas a coffin is shaped like - a coffin?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 14:09, Reply)
 yeah but that definition is only really used in north america
	yeah but that definition is only really used in north america'casket' was the common term here while 'coffin' was more prevalent over there until they fucking americanized every fucking thing
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 14:12, Reply)
 you are quite the expert
	you are quite the expertso it's a burger restaurant/kebab shop/marketing firm/law firm/undertakers?!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 14:16, Reply)
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